Puddle-Jumper38 - If the idea lasted long enough I would. Trust me, there are two or three I'd love to make into separate stories. And who knows, if the muse hits, I might re-post/expand one of the chapters into a full length story.
x Varda x - Oh yeah, wasn't she a rat, and she turned back as a naked human? I think in the later episode, she was wearing clothes when they turned her back from being invisible. LOL But will John ever learn? I don't think he'd be quite the same if he did. And trust me, I'm good for random stuff. LOL. Besides Atlantis/off world adventures/misadventures, I do like to take them home once in a while. And, of course, since it involves the SGC, most earthbound adventures will probably have mentions of SG-1 in them.
Jasminesmommy - I wonder if he'd really be bothered by a kid running around calling him 'mommy'. LOL!
Debbie418uk2 - I fixed the 'bugaboos' in the last chapter. I wrote another chapter (actually, two-parter) where I wanted to end it with them naked, but after the last ones, I didn't want to wear that kind of ending out. LOL.
I don't know if I spelled tracheotomy right, or what, so if not please advise.
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(Normal POV)
"Everything seems pretty normal, doesn't it? Nice and calm?" John looked around as he led his team through a small forest and towards the gate. "The city was ancient and had been abandoned years ago. No signs of a culling or recent Wraith activity. No strange energy readings, and fairly friendly animals."
"Yeah, and we had to stay three days to find all that?" Rodney groaned as he scratched at the back of his hand. "I think I was allergic to something I touched."
"You're allergic to everything." Ronon growled a little, tired of Rodney's constant complaining. "And I'm allergic to your complaining."
Teyla smiled a little. "At least this gave you ample time for your research, did it not?"
"Like there was much to find. All that was on that computer was a list of the animals." He looked at his computer pad. "Huh, looks like there's dangerous ones on this planet, too. What else is new?" Shrugging, he put the pad away. "I'll finish my research after a good hot meal and a nice long shower back at Atlantis." He stretched and trudged on ahead.
They weren't far from the gate when they spotted a family of rabbits standing by the edge of the forest. They looked like any normal rabbits anyone had ever seen, but the team raised their weapons, just to be safe. Well, all but Rodney. He was too busy smiling at them. "Well, how do you like that? Rabbits. There's something I never expected to see on another planet."
"Are they safe to be around?" John looked at them warily.
"Oh, come on, Colonel. They're rabbits. What're they gonna do? Tickle us to death with their long ears of doom? Oh, I'm so scared!" Rodney rolled his eyes and scoffed.
"Shut it, McKay." John glared at him. "You're the one who said there were dangerous animals on this planet, and haven't you ever heard of the saying 'Don't judge a book by it's cover'?"
Shaking his head, Rodney grabbed his computer pad and began typing. "I'm gonna look under the 'safe' list first, since I'm sure they're there."
Everyone stayed on guard around the rabbits, even though Ronon slowly lowered his blaster. He was sure they were harmless, judging by the look of them, and they didn't even want to run away. Not very fun prey, by his standards. Teyla eyed the rabbits warily, knowing of another world with seemingly harmless animals that, when given the chance, could cause a lot of damage. She lowered her P90, not sure what to think, but held on to it, just to be was about the only one who kept fully on guard around them. There was something fishy about all this. Most animals run when seeing humans. Even the big bad ones. These ones, however, stood there perfectly calmly and eyed the group.
"Huh, I didn't see them." Frowning, Rodney went back to the top of the list. "I never realized one planet could have so many animals. I probably just missed them. Hang on while I go through the list again."
"Rodney… They might just not be on it. Check the 'dangerous' list."
"Relax, Colonel. They're harmless." Rodney rolled his eyes and put his computer away again before strolling forward.
"Rodney!"
"Hey, I'm just gonna prove they're ok." Walking towards the small critters, Rodney slowed down as he got near them and crouched. He was maybe three feet away from them when he bent down to pet one.
Just as the biggest one of the five snarled and bared it's massive fangs.
Rodney couldn't move. He stared at the snarling rabbit with the biggest fangs he'd ever seen. It was glaring at him, and he knew his jaw was hanging, but hey… It was a rabbit that was snarling at him with fangs! "What the bloody hell?!?" He jumped away just as the rabbit jumped forward, and clutched his hand to him as those massive fangs snapped shut just inches from his fingertips. "What the hell?!?" He repeated, stepping back until he saw John out of the corner of his eyes.
The rabbits all began to snarl and they began to walk forward menacingly.
John raised his P90 higher, even as Teyla and Ronon raised their weapons again. "I told you to check the 'dangerous' list!" The Colonel hissed as he fired a warning shot into the ground in front of the rabbits.
That only served to startle them, and they spread up to cover more ground. The two smaller ones stayed closer together and walked towards Ronon with snarls, even as the big male stopped and raised it's head to the sky. It's long ears were straight up as it seemed to stare into the sky a moment before opening it's mouth and letting out a long, haunting howl.
"It howls?!" Rodney's eyes couldn't have gotten any wider at this point as he quickly counted his fingers again. "What the hell?! They have fangs and howl?!"
"We picked up on that much, McKay!" John cried as the male jumped at him. Firing his P90, he took it out with three blasts, watching with a wince as the furry body was sent flying backwards and into a tree, where it slid down to lie motionless on the ground. He looked around and his eyes widened as he saw more figures moving through the woods. "Crap! More are coming to join these ones!" He backed up and looked to the others. Rodney was still too shocked about all this to do much of anything but stare helplessly. So it was up to him, Ronon and Teyla, unfortunately, too many rabbits were coming to join the ones they were fighting. "Regroup in the village!" Turning, John grabbed Rodney's arm and began running through the woods. He could hear the occasional howl or snapping of a branch to let him know the rabbits were following them, and picked up his pace.
Soon enough, they entered the city square and paused a moment when they noticed more rabbits wandering around the city. "Long ears of doom, huh?" John grimaced. One little white fur ball hopped past the group, seemingly not even noticing them, and John broke cover first, looking for the sturdiest house and practically dragging Rodney inside it. He waited for Teyla and Ronon to join them, shooting any rabbit that followed them, and slammed the door before looking around. "Here! Ronon! Help me with this! McKay, find out what the hell's going on!" He rushed over to a dresser and with Ronon's help, managed to get it over to the door.
Rodney immediately snapped to attention, grabbing his computer and sitting down at one of the bench-like tables to begin typing. He turned to the 'dangerous' list, and low and behold, one of the first animals listed, and coincidentally the most dangerous, was the rabbit. "Here! I got it!"
"That was fast."
"It was right at the top of the list." Rodney had the decency to look embarrassed.
"Ok, that's fine and all, but why didn't we have any trouble when we first came to the world?" John frowned. "As I seem to recall, we spotted a number of rabbits then, too."
"Well, it's listed here that they are normally calm, quiet animals, and perfectly friendly. They also are usually herbivores."
"That's why it snapped at your fingers?" John rolled his eyes.
Glaring at him, Rodney looked at his said fingers and winced before turning back to the computer. "Uh….. There! They are usually normal creatures, however, when the three moons of the planet align during a particular season, they mutate into carnivorous creatures that hunt raw meat. It seems no one ever saw them as a threat, so they never hunted them, allowing the population to grow to massive proportions-oh..." Rodney's eyes grew huge and he looked to the others. "The city was never abandoned."
"I do not understand." Teyla frowned as she looked around. "The records stated the Ancients ever found anyone in the village, or any remains."
"It says here, there were so many rabbits, that even the humans were hunted. They couldn't find a single safe space, and the majority of them decided to run for their lives, only there were too many rabbits. Most were captured and basically eaten." McKay looked about ready to be sick. "It reads that the seasons would have changed over last night, and they last about a week." His face was white.
"So we just make a break for the gate and blast all the fur balls we come across." Ronon shrugged like it was no big deal.
"Except like I said, there are tons of them. Hundreds of thousands. They can swarm us before you can take a hundred of them down." Shaking his head, Rodney got up and moved away from the desk. He looked around worriedly before fixing his eyes to each of his team mates'. "And the worst part is not even their homes were safe."
Everyone looked around and raised their weapons.
"What?" John's eyes went wide.
"They never imagined a threat like this, so they never thought to make their homes, well…rabbit-proof." Rodney fumbled as he grabbed his own gun, and looked around.
"Ok, we need to search this place and block off any openings we find. When we don't sign in, Atlantis will call us and contact us by radio, we can request backup."
"That's not due for at least another two hours!"
"Then we need to secure this place until then, now, don't we?" Giving him a look, John began looking carefully around the house. "Was there any place listed in particular, that the rabbits seemed to come from?"
"Windows, holes in the walls and floors, sometimes doors that weren't too sturdy. They chewed right through them."
Glancing at the door, John raised an eyebrow. "I think they're gonna have a lot of chewing to do to get through that." He eyed the dresser in front of the door. He eyed the floor where it joined to the walls and found a large hole half hidden behind another dresser. "Ronon, here." Walking over, he moved the dresser to get better access, bent down and looked out the hole. There was a sheet of metal just outside, and John was struck with an idea. They probably can't ches through metal. "Listen…" He pulled back and looked at the others. "I'm gonna reach out this hole and grab a sheet of metal that should cover it. It looks sturdy and heavy enough to do the trick."
"And you're insane, you know that?" Rodney stared at him incredulously. "You're gonna reach out a hole, into rabid-rabbit-infested land??"
Pausing for a moment, John glanced out the hole and came face-to-face with a cute, cuddly man-eating rabbit. "Oh, crap." As it snarled and lunged forward, he lunged backward. A soft weight landed on his chest as he fell back on his back, and he felt teeth digging themselves into his neck, the pain blinding him. CRAP! He screamed in agony, his throat burning as the teeth clenched. He could feel the tearing sensation and saw stars as he grabbed at the small furry body, trying to pull it away.
It didn't work, however, as more pain shot through him and he cried out again.
Suddenly, there was a blast, and a shocking flash of red. The grip on his throat lessened and let go. Coughing heavily, he pushed the body off him and rolled over, coughing up blood and struggling to breathe. He felt hands on him, but resisted them as he struggled to get air into his lungs. "Blo-" He broke off into another coughing fit, spitting more blood out of his throat and groaning in agony.
"Colonel, you must relax."
He shook his head, trying to ignore how everything spun. "The hole…" He winced at the pain that shot through him, as well as how garbled his throat sounded.
Looking away, Teyla noticed another rabbit hopping in through the said hole. "Ronon!" Raising her P90, she shot at it, causing it to pause in place, and frowned. "We need to block that hole!"
Moving silently, Ronon blasted the new rabbit and kicked it out through the hole before moving the second dresser fully in front of it.
John let his head fall to the ground; the only thing on his mind was the pain he was in. He could breathe ok, thankfully, but it felt like the pain was throbbing out through his entire body, and tears clung to his eyes as he gasped.
He heard his radio activate and Major Lorne's voice come through. "Colonel Sheppard, this is Atlantis. Do you read?" Wow, he was early. Either that, or more time had passed then anyone thought.
Teyla tapped her radio before John could even instinctively reach for his own. "We are here. Major, we are trapped and Colonel Sheppard is in need of medical attention, immediately."
"I understand." There was a moment of silence. "You want us to send a team through with Carson?"
Rodney tapped his own radio. "Uh, Major? We've got a serious case of pissed off bunnies, here. And I mean a lot of them. We need you to send a jumper through; we don't have time to deal with a lot of them, right now."
There was a pause, and everyone could just see the uncertain look on Lorne's face as he probably didn't know whether to laugh or be worried. Luckily for them, he chose to remain serious, at least for the moment. "Do I at least get the gist of what happened??"
"Basically, we overstayed our welcome and we now have to deal with thousands of carnivorous bunnies. One got through a small hole in a wall and took a massive bite out of the Colonel's throat."
"So what should we keep an eye out for?" At least that response was immediate, and the team could hear noises in the background.
"Besides pissed off bunnies? That's about it." Rodney rolled his eyes as he grabbed his computer and attached it to his backpack.
"Ok. I'll get two teams together. Just hang in there, Lorne out."
Grimacing, John held a hand over the cloth Teyla was holding over his wound, and gasped again. He opened his mouth, but closed it again, not really knowing what to say, with his mind clouded over with pain. His eyes rolled back in his head and he wheezed as he struggled to relax.
"John, you must stay calm. Major Lorne will soon be on his way to get us. You just need to hang on." Teyla pressed more firmly on the wound while trying not to put too much weight on his throat. She frowned thoughtfully as she eyed the wound.
John was beginning to find it harder to breathe. He didn't notice it at first, but after a while he noticed the feeling of swelling in his throat and that it was beginning to get harder to get the air into his lungs. Closing his eyes, he took a slow, deep breath, wincing as it put pressure on his throat, and held it a moment before slowly letting it out again. The pain was still there and agonizing, but more noticeably it had faded to a steady burn.
Rodney eyed John lying on the ground, staring almost blankly at the ceiling as he struggled to breathe. The wound was nasty, but it didn't seem to be bleeding too badly, and John had even stopped coughing up blood. That was a good sign, wasn't it? Seeing the pained gasp, and John's slightly scared look, he winced, beginning to feel guilty that he hadn't listened before and looked at the list.
If I'd checked, maybe we could've gotten past those rabbits and back to Atlantis. He frowned and shifted uncomfortably, looking out the barred window to see the occasional white rabbit hop by. Damn it! Hurry up, Major! They looked so innocent, but he knew better now.
The group lost track of time. All they could think of was taking care of John as he got steadily weaker. The bleeding wasn't severe, but it refused to stop, and his breathing got steadily shakier and more forced as his throat continued to swell up from the injury. Teyla accepted a fresh dressing from Rodney and changed the one on John's neck, her look grim.
Just then, the sound of a jumper was heard, and Ronon rushed to the window next to the door. Looking out, he spun and went to the dresser in front of the door. "Help me with this!"
"Dr. McKay!" Teyla stood up, lessening her hold on John's neck as Rodney rushed over and hesitantly took over for her, wincing as he saw the blood oozing from the wound.
He really wasn't good with blood, and those words kept echoing through his mind, making him nauseous. Feeling a hand on his, he saw John's unfocused eyes on him, wide with pain and a hint of fear as he gasped roughly for air. I should've listened! "I'm sorry." It was almost a whisper.
Teyla and Ronon worked together to move the heavy dresser, and they opened the door, blasting the rabbits as they got nearer. They saw Carson running out of the back of the parked jumper with Lorne and two marines flanking him, taking out any rabbits that got near. He had a wild look in his eyes and muttered about rabid rabbits as he ran into the hut, shaking his head only to stop and stare in horror at John's body on the ground.
"This is so weird!" Evan called as they rushed inside and Ronon slammed the door.
"Colonel! Oh dear lord, this is not good!" Dropping his bag on the floor, Carson knelt next to John, who was barely conscious and breathing at this point. He quickly pulled on a pair of gloves before carefully peeling back the dressing and wincing. Feeling at the throat, he frowned deeply before turning and pointing to Teyla. "I need you to get me morphine, a tube and a scalpel. The swelling's blocking his airway, I'm gonna have to do a tracheotomy."
"How bad is it, doc?" Lorne ducked out the door long enough to fire three blasts before ducking back in and slamming the door shut again.
Frowning, Carson injected the morphine into John's system and waited a few seconds for it to take effect before quickly glancing at the Major. "It's not severe, but he's lost a lot of blood. I need to operate, now!" Grabbing the knife and tube, he had Teyla hold John's head steady and began using the scalpel to cut a small hole into John's lower throat, a little under the swollen area.
Rodney cringed and looked away, unable to watch the surgery.
(Infirmary, Several Days Later)
John lay in the infirmary, wincing as he drank from a cup of cold water. Putting the cup back on his tray, he eyed the jello dubiously and sighed before pushing it away.
"Not hungry?" Rodney walked into the room, smiling away.
Looking up at him, John shook his head. He opened his mouth to say something, but winced, rubbed gingerly at the bandage around his throat and shrugged with a sheepish look.
"Hum, I think I kinda like you better this way." Rodney grinned a little at the sour look he got. "Relax, I was just kidding. You're feeling better?" Now he seemed more earnest and even a little wary.
"H…" Coughing a little, John winced and shrugged again. "Hurts to…talk, but yeah."
"Then maybe you shouldn't talk." Rodney raised his hands in surrender, seeing John opening his mouth. "Never mind, forget I said anything. It's you."
Frowning at Rodney a moment, John raised an eyebrow before picking up his bowl of jello and holding it out. Normally he'd be all up for the banter, but right now his throat really did hurt a lot when he spoke.
Eyeing the jello for a moment, Rodney accepted it, hey it was blue, and took the spoon also offered. Staring at it for a moment, he sighed. "Look, I wanted to say I was sorry." He dug the spoon into the jello, feeling decidedly uncomfortable with the idea of apologizing. "If… If I'd read the list like you wanted… Maybe we could have gotten back without getting attacked." He winced and stared at the jello, not really seeing it.
Seeing the pain in his friend's face, John frowned deeply. "No." Wincing as his throat burned, he pushed it aside and shook his head. "They probably would've…attacked anyways. We… We might've got…caught out…in the woods if it wasn't…for you."
"Yeah, well, Bugs still took a nasty bite out of you."
Chuckling a little, John's face almost went white with pain and he hissed. "Oh, god! Don't... Don't make me laugh." His voice was raspy and he wheezed. Shaking a little, he sighed and wiped the tears from his eyes. "Didn't I say...'Don't judge...a book by its...cover'?" He winced again and put a hand over his bandaged throat.
Nodding, Rodney sighed. "You know what? I hope the only rabbits I ever seen are in stews."
"I wouldn't...say that Rodney. You never know, they...might decide to hunt those rabbits that...attacked us, to make the stews with."
Wincing, Rodney put down the still full jello cup. "And there goes my appetite, right out the window."
John chuckled again, and despite the pain, he grinned at Rodney, just glad to be able to laugh like this. Lying back, he closed his eyes and breathed deep. It hurt his throat, but it still felt good to be able to breathe.
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Hope you like it.
Written October 27, 2008
R+R please
Thank you
Tenshi