A/N: YAY NEW CHAPTER. It's only been a month, I tell you. Errrr, I guess that's not a good thing... Anyway, I hope you like it! And if I got AWOL this month, like I usually do, it's probably because I'm probably failing chemistry AND because of NaNoWriMo. Yeah, I'm finally participating. REMEMBER TO REVIEW! LOVE Y'ALL.
"Talk about perverted," I groaned, giving Ino one of those "Oh God" looks as she helped me pack my things.
We were both still reeling over the news that I was going to finish out my semester (and possibly stay the summer) at my uncle Jiraiya's house. She was a little more upset than I was over the whole thing, considering I was getting to go to a new school with a ton of supposed 'hot guys.' Well, that and the fact that her best friend was leaving her for a new school because her best friend has a douchebag for an ex. Actually, I should say had. Sasuke died two days ago from ODing on Viagra.
Just kidding.
"Well, look on the bright side-"
"Bright side; yeah right," I snorted, folding another shirt into a suitcase. Ino shot me a small glare for interrupting.
I just rolled my eyes and continued to pack. With most of my stuff already on its way to uncle Jiraiya's, my room looked incredibly bare. The light walls were stripped of all their posters and the things that made my room mine were all packed up. It was kind of sad, in a sad way. If that makes sense.
Ino cleared her throat, and I looked over at her. "Anyway, like I was saying before I was interrupted, look on the bright side; at least the legendary porn writer won't hit on you. You are his niece, after all."
"Actually, he's my mother's adoptive uncle. His sister adopted her when her parents were killed by a car crash. And if he doesn't use me as 'material', he'll probably use me to pick up other women." Ino laughed at my misfortune and finished up the last of the packing, which happened to involve shoving an old picture of us into the last suitcase.
It was a picture from when we were little kids, and both of us were wearing goofy grins and shoving cake into each other's face. Kiba and Shikamaru were in the background, one laughing, one staring at the sky. Give you a hint which one was staring at the sky:
He was the guy who had gone into an angry, reclusive shock when I told him I was moving. We hadn't spoken since.
"Thinking about Shikamaru?"
Ino's voice jerked me out of my trance. "Whaaa—No. I was thinking about something else entirely."
"Yeah yeah, sure sure. Look, Sakura, he's just mad that you… Well, you're leaving. You know how he gets. He's not one for a lot of change or troublesome shit." Ino put a hand on my shoulder, giving me an incredibly sympathetic look.
I just shook my head. "It's not like it's my fault that I'm leaving, you know? I didn't ask for this. I didn't want to leave."
"But you didn't want to go to school, either." My gaze hit the floor.
"I couldn't go back to school. Not with him there. You just don't understand how uncomfortable it--!"
Ino scoffed. "No need to be making excuses for me, Sakura. I feel your pain. Assholes are hard to avoid, especially one like him that would make it his goal in life to make sure you're miserable before he played the victim/the nice guy and got a new girlfriend. I understand."
I walked over to my bed, and fell onto the mattress. "Then why doesn't he understand?"
A sigh escaped the lips of the blonde. "He… He just doesn't want to think about you leaving, 'Kura. It's pretty far away, and he doesn't want to deal with the whole 'not having his best friend there every day' problem. You've always been in his life. And now, you're leaving."
"It's not a problem for you or Hinata or Kiba or any one else. You guys are all grudgingly accepting I'm leaving…"
We both sat in silence. I was still trying to understand why he was so annoyed by my leaving. It's not like I was doing him a disservice or anything. I was the one who was being made to leave. I was being forced out of my hometown. I didn't want to leave, but I couldn't very well stay…
It made no sense as to why he could just ignore me like that, and why he was the only one. "It's not like he can't come and visit me…" I said crossly.
"Sakura, you're moving really far away. Jiraiya lives in the middle of nowhere compared to here, and it's so far. You know that with the deer, his chronic laziness, and his schoolwork, Shikamaru hardly has time for us now. Couple that with the fact that his parents hardly let him drive anymore, so I'd say he has a pretty good reason to be pissed."
"What are you, Shikamaru's secret keeper or something? Do you like, stalk him?"
"Don't take out all your damn frustrations on me. It's not my fault he's angry."
The silence came back as Ino finished packing the last box and I continued to stare at my textured, white ceiling. I don't know how long we sat there like that, not saying a word. But after what felt like forever, I slowly got up from my bed, and sat on the floor next to her.
"I'm sorry, Ino. I just… I don't get it."
Her eyes softened.
I smiled.
The silence continued. It's ridiculous that one second, silence can divide us and put a wall between us, but the next, the quiet is just letting us stew in our enjoyment of each other's company.
Ew. That sounds weird. It sounds like we're lovers.
Another sign came from Ino. "You should tell him, you know. Before it's too late."
"Tell him what?" I asked, thinking she meant apologize to him or tell him something that I said I'd tell him a long time ago. I couldn't remember anything I had said I would tell anyone, especially not Shikamaru. He wasn't the person who I'd hide something from.
"You know what I mean, Sakura. Don't play dumb."
She was sounding like one of those moments in the movies where the friend tells the main character that she needs to tell the one who has been there that she-
No.
"Ino, I am not in love with Shikamaru!"
Ino cast me a confused look. "What? I was going to say you should tell him goodbye. Just in case, you know. But if you," her confused face transformed into a smirk, "came to that conclusion, then you must be hiding something!"
My eyes narrowed as I realized that she was trying to drag this out of me. She was smiling deviously, like she had just won.
"Look, Ino, I'm not in love with my best friend. I've never thought about being in love with anyone."
Well, that was a lie. Earlier this year, I'm pretty positive I thought about being in love with a certain spikey haried Nara-esque boy.
But then again, I also thought about loving Sasuke as well, and we all know how that turned out.
And my feelings toward Shikamaru had most definitely changed. I mean, I didn't get butterflies when I saw him. As much. And I didn't think about him all the time… Just part of it. But he's my best friend. I'm supposed to think about him and be happy to see him. Yeah.
The other side of my head, the one that decided it wanted to be fair and unbiased, was telling me that if I didn't like him like that, then why was I secretly happy that he was upset I was leaving? Didn't that mean that he liked me more than a friend, because he was having different reactions than my other friends?
"Sakura, you've liked him for so long. This might be your last chance before your feelings change."
"And what's that supposed to mean?"
Ino frowned. "You don't know who could be looming in those halls at that smaller school. You'll be the new girl, the one that everyone is paying attention to. You'll get attention from guys, probably. If one of them happens to be cute…"
"Look, Ino, if I really was 'in love' with Shikamaru, then I'd definitely ignore those guys, right? Even if a super hot guy that usually ignores all other girls took an interest in plain old me, then I would only compare him to Shikamaru, right?"
Another frown. "You know I don't believe in the theory of "One True Love," for girls in high school. We're fickle. We flirt. We like attention. If a really hot guy slathers attention all over you, you'll probably be more prone to thinking about him than thinking about Shikamaru. And then that guy becomes 'The One,' and Shikamaru would never know."
"Then so be it. And I don't like him, so I don't know why we're even talking about this when we should be getting the last of the boxes in the car so I can leave. It's going to be a long trip, you know. A very dull, long trip. And mom and dad want to take me without any of my friends, to have the last of the 'family bonding time' we'll get for a while."
Ino just shook her head at my response, but stood up and grabbed the first of 2 boxes anyway. I followed suit, grabbing the last small box from my room-that-was-not-mine-anymore, and heading out the door. I followed her down the steps to the front door, and to the small car, whose trunk was packed with boxes.
When the trunk was closed, Sakura turned to Ino, and smiled bittersweetly. "I guess this is goodbye for a while, then."
"Yeah," she whispered, tears forming in her eyes. I gave her a hug, hanging on for a few seconds, letting her cry onto my shoulder. I was telling myself repeatedly that I wasn't going to cry, but a few tears fell from my eyes. I wasn't supposed to cry, because this was my decision, kind of. But that didn't make it any less sad.
As Ino pulled away, I saw Kiba walking up from the road. Our semi-friendship had been repaired when he defended me to Sasuke the day after 'the incident' had occurred. Sasuke seemed pretty confident that Kiba would just agree with him, but apparently his loyalties to me were a bit tighter. I didn't know they still existed.
Kiba said it was his way of making up for screwing with Shikamaru and I. He said that he really had heard someone say that Shikamaru said that stuff, but he didn't exactly believe the source.
"So, Haruno, you're leaving."
"Yeah."
"And my stupid cousin isn't even here to see you off…"
I kept quiet. Kiba took that as a sign to drop it.
"Well, I'll miss ya," he said, giving me a cocky grin. "School just won't be the same if I don't have you to look at every once in a while."
"Oh, ha ha," I said, rolling my eyes. "You are terrible at goodbyes, Kiba."
He just chuckled. "And don't worry, I'll be there to defend 'your honor' as they say."
"And I'll help him!" Ino chimed in.
"Thanks, guys…" I smiled, giving Kiba a hug. My parents just stood patiently by the car, waiting for me to get done. "Oh, and can you tell Hinata and Chouji goodbye for me? I know I've already told them, but I just want to get it done again."
"Aren't you forgetting someone?" A lazy voice called out from behind me. My heart lept what felt like a foot as I turned around to see Shikamaru standing at the foot of my driveway. He face was straight, and he wasn't smiling or anything, but I was still glad to see him.
"Nah, that about covers it," I said, raising my eyebrow.
"Hn, yeah, I guess it does. You only have about four friends." Subconsciously, I had started walking toward him. Out shouts were becoming quieter now, and his face was starting to show signs of a smirk.
"Oh, but I do remember one friend that I might have forgotten about," I said, biting my lip like I was trying to remember a name. "Who was it again? God, his name is so difficult to pronounce…"
"Does it start with an 'S'?" Shikamaru asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Yes!" I exclaimed, stopping about 2 feet from him. "Sai!" I turned to Ino, smiling. "Remember to say goodbye to Sai, as well!"
Ino just laughed, but Kiba spoke up. "Sai transferred to a specialty art school a while ago. I'm surprised you didn't notice."
"Aww, so much for your so called friend," Shikamaru said, pulling my attention away from them and back to him. His brown eyes were warm and friendly, and yet again it hit me how strange it was to look up at him.
"Thanks for coming to say goodbye," I said, smiling. But right when I said that, Shikamaru's face went rigid.
"You don't have to leave, you know. Just face this, get it over with."
"I can't stay here, Shikamaru, you know that. I can't take it… The rumors, the lies…"
"But when you were accused of putting me in the hospital, you could stand that?"
I was tempted to say, "But I had someone with me at the time!" but I knew he would only get mad. "It was a different time, Shikamaru. A different situation."
"Because it was about me then, is that it? You don't really care about me?"
My whole body tensed with anger as I narrowed my eyes up at him. "You know that's not true. You're my best friend!"
The words 'best friend' seemed to strike him strangely, but a few seconds later, it was gone. "Then why are you leaving now? If you care, why are you leaving me behind?"
"You know exactly why I'm doing this, Shikamaru. You don't need to be so damn stubborn about it!" I think our voices were starting to become louder and louder as we continued the fight that had separated us when he first found out.
"Sakura, honey, we need to get going!" My mother called out, her voice nervous. She must have known that we were fighting again. We must have been louder than I thought.
"Well then, I guess this is goodbye," he said, his face solemn once more.
"Goodbye, Shikamaru."
"Goodbye, Sakura."
He turned and left just as I turned to head back to the car. Kiba wasn't very far behind him, and Ino was waiting for me once again.
"Don't think too much of it, 'Kura. He's just handling your leaving in his on way." She smiled, and with one last, quick hug, she was off as well, probably going to chew Shikamaru's head off for making my 'Going Away!' partyish thing a complete disaster. My parents stood by the car as I climbed in the back seat.
"Sakura…"
"Lets get going. It's a long way to Jiraiya's," I said, and they just got in the car.
Tears were stinging at my eyes as my dad started the car and pulled out of the driveway. They began to fall as we rode through town, the car completely silent.
Why did he have to make me feel so guilty about leaving? I had to… And he was being so ridiculously selfish to want me to stay here. I had to leave.
Right?
The silence stretched on. I was temped to make a comment like 'So much for our family bonding, eh?' but words escaped me. Everything was leaving me now. Or was I leaving everything?
God, who was I kidding myself? Ino was right, she was so right. And I was going to leave without telling him. Not that I'd never see him again, but when if my feelings did change and I never told him? What if we had a meant to be that was ruined?
I wasn't one to believe in One True Love. Ino always had a notion of being swept off her feet until I convinced her in middle school that if it did happen, things might not work out. There had to be more than one person for everyone, because what if that person died? She had begun to see things my way, to a point.
And that's where her 'no one true love for high school girls' theory came from. It was part of the reason she was so comfortable with being a huge flirt. She now thinks that her OTL will be in college.
So what if Shikmaaru had been one of those guys that I could spend my life with and I blew it by being selfish and not wanting to face this?
I was an idiot.
I sat in the backseat, my head leaning up against the window, and I was crying. I watched the trees on the side of the highway roll by, and I decided I was making a mistake.
"Sakura, if it helps, I think you're doing he right thing. Even if Shikamaru doesn't want you too." My mothers voice broke my trance, and I looked at the back of her head. She was turned so she could look at me, and she was smiling.
"A change of scenery will do you good. It's not healthy to get this caught up over things."
She was meaning well, I swear.
"But w-what f I'm making a huge mistake b-by leaving? Shouldn't I face this head on? Won't it make me a stronger person than running will?"
"No… No, this situation isn't one you should try and take on. Sakura, you're a young woman, and you shouldn't be treated like that. No man should ever treat you like a toy, and I don't want my daughter subjected to it any longer," my father said, his voice adding to our conversation.
"A-And Shikamaru?"
"He'll eventually get over it. We've known Shikamaru just as long as you have, dear. If I know one thing, it's that he'll find this grudge to be too 'troublesome' to keep it for too long."
A/N: So there you have it! My newest I, Sakura chapter. Isn't it amazing. And just for you information, Barack Obama is going to be the next US president. You already knew that? Darnnnnnn. But what you didn't know is that the last words of this chapter have a very significant meaning. You knew that, too? GRRRRR. Anyway, I hope you liked it. I'm trying to update faster, I swear to the Lord Almighty. Reviews give me inspiration, BTW. If you didn't know that.
Oh noess…. It's 12:40 and I have school tomorrow. Or… I have school in a few hours. Noooooo. ;.;