A/N: My second of hopefully three updates before winter break is over. I'm trying to make up for a fricken month of no word from me whatsoever, so I hope you'll accept this token of love from me. New chapter for I, Sakura. I hope you enjoy. I know that I enjoyed writing it. Read and REVIEW please.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. I don't own the characters. I make no money off of this. This is purely fiction, fan fiction to be exact. Just thought I'd disclaim my story again.

It had been a few months since I had first arrived at uncle Jiraiya's. Life had gone on, and old wounds that had the name Sasuke etched all over them had begun to heal.

Other wounds, mainly ones involving another dark haired boy that I once knew, still hadn't really cleared. The scars had yet to form completely, so the wounds continued to plague my mind. He continued to plague my mind.

I hadn't seen Shikamaru or heard from Shikamaru or even talked to Ino about Shikamaru since that day, and it was tearing me up on the inside.

But on the outside, I was calm, controlled, happy.

"Sakura-channn… Summer's almost over and you have yet to come with me to visit Konoha. Ino's been up here a billion times, why won't you go down there?" Naruto popped his blonde head into my room, pouting slightly and glaring at me with his sapphire eyes.

I just sighed, looking at him. "I have my reasons for not going down there, Naruto. You know I do. And don't even kid me, you know you love it when Ino just has to come and visit me."

At this, the Uzumaki orphan tinged red, and he rubbed the back of his head nervously as he walked completely into my room. I shut the book I was reading and set it down.

"You don't have to pick on me about it, Sakura-chan…"

"Aww, but my little Naruto has a crush on Ino; how could I not pick on you about it? I mean, really… What do you expect me to do, let you live it down?"

He rolled his eyes. "I wish you would." And then, like always, he brightened and grinned happily. "But she could never replace the love I have in my heart for you, Sakura!"

I snorted, and his eyes narrowed in my direction. "Don't even make me laugh, Naruto."

"What, you don't think I'm in love with you?"

I just grinned, and scooted off my bed, grabbing the book that I had been reading and walking up to him. He now towered over me, but I didn't care. "Alright, Naruto, what do you want?"

He grinned sheepishly. Since I had come here, Naruto and I had become incredible friends. It made me wonder how I had managed to ignore him all those years. I mean, we just clicked in a way that I hadn't experienced since Ino or Shika…

I mean, since Ino.

My mind turned dark and stormy again as I remembered him at Karin's party, standing there, yelling at me. His usually warm brown eyes had gone cold, and I couldn't stand it. And then I saw that same coldness reflecting from his eyes the day I last saw him.

"Sakura… Don't," Naruto said, jolting me back to reality. "Don't think of him."

I bit my lip, and then turned a happy gaze back to Naruto. "You never did tell me why you came to bother me when I was reading, Naru-channnnnnnn."

But he wasn't smiling anymore, and I guess he realized that I was faking once more. "Sakura, if you need to talk, I swear I'll listen. You know I will. You can't keep on letting this crap go on, especially if all you'll tell me is "Don't worry about it, Naruto." I can't stand it when you shut me out."

"Don't worry about it, Naruto," I said, turning my back on him and walking toward the main entrance of the house. But he grabbed me hand, and pulled just hard enough to keep me in place. I struggled to drag my hand out of his iron grip, but it wouldn't work.

"I told you I didn't like that. Just… tell me what's wrong, Sakura."

"And what makes you think you have a right to know?" I asked coldly, still staring straight ahead. I had found out that if I didn't want to talk to something, usually a bitchy attitude made him drop it.

"You've told me everything else over the course of the months you've been living here. You've told me all about you and Sasuke, you and Ino, you and Karin. Yet I've never heard one word out of you about Shikamaru! I know that something happened between you two. You've told me that much. But I want to know what."

"Why the sudden interest in Shikamaru?" I asked, turning to face him finally.

I expected to find him glaring at me, but instead, he was looking kind of shocked. "You mean, you don't know?"

"Know what?"

"Ino didn't tell you?"

"We don't talk about him. Tell me, what don't I know?"

"No."

I could imagine a million things happening, all revolving around Shikamaru. I saw his dead body. I saw a mangled car, with blood dripping down his face. I saw him, in a coma. I saw him in the hospital again. I saw his mother crying. I saw his dad holding onto her, his expression dim. I saw Ino and Chouji standing near him as he took his final breaths. I saw my mother doing her best to heal him with what little she had. I saw Ino standing near a phone, calling, but only getting Naruto. I saw her breaking into tears as well.

I saw him with a new girlfriend, pregnant. I saw his parents, angry and frustrated at his stupidity. I saw him not caring. I saw him throwing away everything he had actually worked for in exchange for alcoholism or drugs. I saw tattoos and piercings where sharp things shouldn't go. I imagined him making death threats toward me. I imagined him killing Sasuke out of spite and in prison. I imagined him in a cell, sleeping the day away.

"Naruto, what happened?"

"Tell me what went on between you two, and I will."

I weighed the options in my mind. Could my worry and fear outweigh the emotional pain he brought? Could anything really change the way I was feeling about him now?

I swallowed, hard, and then stared at the ground. "F-Fine. I'll tell you."

I started walking away, but Naruto's strong grip kept me from going very far. "Where are you going?" I held out the book I was carrying, and shook it slightly.

"To the library. This isn't the type of story I want to be standing up for."

He let out a soft 'Oh' and followed me to the library. We walked in silence, as I was trying desperately to figure out what to tell Naruto. I wasn't exactly clear on what had happened myself, so it was kind of really hard.

We reached the library of Jiraiya's house much, much too quickly, and I felt like running back out and having Naruto chase me just to give myself some more time to think. But I didn't, and we walked into the giant room.

The room was filled with different books of every genre you could ever think of. Once, I asked Jiraiya why he had so many books, and he said it was the mark of a good writer to read a lot. He also said it was a good reference and he hated going to the public library, so he just started one himself. I figured it was a good enough reason for a rich guy.

We sat down at the conference table like thing that was in the room, and he stared at me.

"So?"

I sighed. "It started back toward the beginning of sophomore year, I guess. I had heard he said some stuff about me, and it kind of pissed me off. That's when all the stuff with Sasuke started blowing up."

"I remember that. Shikamaru was pretty upset for a long time."

"Yeah, so I was told. Then, he and I got in a fight at Karin's party…" The more I remembered about all of our fights, the more the pain poured into my voice. "He got injured. You remember that too, right?"

Naruto didn't say a word, but he just nodded.

"Well, after that, we were solid again. He was my rock; I could count on him for everything. He would never go away. But then, Sasuke decided to attack. And I couldn't take it. He had won."

My throat became dry as I thought of the day that Sasuke started the cheating rumors about me. I remember all the tears, and then I remember Shikamaru. I remember him holding me. I remember him stroking my hair, and I could feel the warmth he had given off. My entire body longed to hold him again, and I felt the everlasting ache in my chest intensify.

"So, my parents decided I was going to move. And I agreed, more than ready to get away. But Shikamaru… He didn't like the thought of me moving, apparently. So we founght. And it hurt. A lot. He hates me now. I could see it in his eyes, a-and hear i-it in h-his v-v-voice. And then, h-he had the n-nerve to say t-that I d-didn't c-care about him, when I do! I really, really do!"

I had begun to cry again, thinking of the feelings that he had left me with.

"Did you ever tell him that?" A voice, which was definitely not Naruto's, spoke out. I looked up, unaware that Jiraiya had been in the room the whole time.

"N-No…" I said, still looking at him.

He just frowned, and looked over at Naruto. "So, have you told her yet?"

Naruto just shrugged. "No. I made her talk about it first. And then she started crying, and now I don't know what to do…"

"Useless kid you are."

"HEY! I RESENT THAT!"

"Oh, Naruto knows how to use a big word like resent now!" Jiraiya mocked. They were like this all the time.

"Hey. Guys. GUYS!" I yelled, letting their attention settle on me. Naruto and Jiraiya looked a little shocked at my outburst, because I usually just let them argue and slip away to my room. "What were you going to tell me?"

"Oh, yeah…" Naruto said, finally remembering that he needed to tell me something. A look of sadness crossed over his face as he looked into my eyes. "Ino called."

"And?"

"Well… Apparently, she was with Shikamaru and Chouji, and Chouji asked about you. Without even thinking about it, she started talking about how you had adjusted so well to life up here and you would say that you felt more at home here than you sometimes did with your parents. She said that you had made a few new friends, meaning Sai and me, but I guess Shikamaru didn't see it that way.

"Ino said that right after she finished telling Chouji about you, she realized her mistake, but Shikamaru was already looking pretty depressed again. She said that he's been pretty down since you left, but she hasn't seen him this bad off since the first week you were gone."

He stopped, and looked at me.

"So? That's it? He got depressed over me?"

The blonde boy took a deep breath, and turned his gaze to the wall instead of me. "Not exactly…"

"What do you mean, not exactly?! Naruto, what happened to Shikamaru?" I asked, my voice drenched in more worry than should be humanly possible.

"He's gone."

"WHAT?"

Naruto shifted uncomfortable under my credulous stare, and he sighed. "Ino said that he left. He just left. He's been gone for like, a week and a half now, or actually… probably two weeks, since I've waited a bit to tell you, but he just disappeared."

"And his parents? They're worried, right? The police are out looking for him?" They had to be, right? They wouldn't just let Shikamaru go, would they?

"Um, no. He calls his parents once a day to make sure they know where he is. But he won't answer calls from anyone else. Not her or Chouji… Only his parents. According to Ino, his dad told her dad that it was a journey his son had to take at one point or another, considering all that's happened, and while they wish he was there, they're glad to know he's safe."

"They let him GO? What kind of reasoning is THAT? And how do we know Ino's such a reliable source, huh? I mean, this could all be a lie!"

"Sakura, she sounded pretty worried. And you know Shikamaru, he can take care of himself. He's strong and smart. He'll be fine."

But I wasn't listening. "He could be dead. He could be halfway around the world by now. He could be sleeping with a harem of women. He could be dead," I kept mumbling to myself, crying.

All I could think about was his lifeless body.

"It never fails to amaze me how much like her you are, Sakura," Jiraiya said offhandedly. I looked up at him, ears streaming down my face, worry caressing my every thought. "This is way too familiar," he said, a small grin on his face.

"What are you even talking about, ya old pervert?" Naruto asked.

"She never fails to remind me of Tsunade," Jiraiya said, shaking his head.

My mind flashed back to my old principal. I knew that she knew Jiraiya at one point, but I had no idea what he was talking about.

Suddenly, I remember Naruto saying, when I had first come here, that Tsunade was his one true love, the one he had always pined after.

"How do I remind you of…?" I asked quietly.

"How do you remind me of her? Well, you two have the same tempers. The same inhuman strength. The same charm and the same type of draw for men. It's not that you're necessarily beautiful in a model type of way, but you've got the kind of beauty that just mixes with a personality that draw people to you. Even when you don't want them there."

I stared at him, confused. Where was he going with this?

"But none of that applies to this situation as it stands. What reminds me of her is you and this boy. This Shikamaru, the one you care so much about but never told him. And now you're here, falling apart with worry and emotions. Just like she's done before. I was in the same place as Naruto when it happened with her.

"His name was Dan. He was the first man that had ever really noticed Tsuande for more than her body when she was going through college. He noticed her working her ass off to become a doctor, and he noticed that she was brilliant. She was the top of her class, and she had ideas that were so ingenious that people should have stopped and listened. But no one did. Except for Dan. He heard her taking to her professor one day about how there should be nurses at every school in the country to make sure that the children remain safe and secure. But the professor just blew her off as an idealist, saying that no one would ever want to deal with kids all day except teachers.

"But Dan agreed with her. He said that it would be more beneficial to the school systems if they had nurses at every school to take care of the kids. The old man just told him what he had told Tsunade. Dan and Tsunade left the office together, and she asked him why he cared so much about this. He said that his little sister had gotten hurt at school, and had ended up dying before an ambulance could come and get her. He said that if a nurse had been at the school, she could have lived. Tsunade was stunned into silence, but she always said that she never forgot that conversation. She always said that she wanted to reach out and tell him that her brother had been killed in a car accident. That they had something in common, but she didn't.

"As time went on, she saw more and more of Dan. They worked on homework together. They went to dinner together. She recommended books and things for him to read, and she said that he taught her everything she knows about drinking. Of course, back then, she wasn't an alcoholic, and neither was he. They were two people who were great friends. Tsunade found herself slowly falling in love with Dan, but every time she went to tell him that, she never could She'd get distracted or something would happen.

"Well, one day, he got in a car accident. Tsunade just happened to be working as the EMT on the ambulance that came to the scene. When she saw him there, blood splashed all over his face, she said that her heart stopped. She did everything she could, but nothing was enough. He died that night. She never told him that she loved him. From that day on, she has always hated blood, and gave up her life as a doctor, instead becoming a teacher and a principal. She raised his niece in his stead, and lived her life.

"But I know that a part of her can never move on from that. She'll always love him, even if she doesn't want to. Even if she wants to be with someone else. She'll always have a place in her heart for Dan."

Naruto and I just sat, shocked, letting it all sink in. I could tell by the bitterness in his tone that Jiraiya was the one whom she wanted to be with, but couldn't bear to love because of Dan. But I wasn't focusing on that.

I was focusing on the parallels from my own life. Shikamaru…

What if he did die while out on this journey he just has to take?

What if I never saw him again, never told him that I cared about him. That I liked him. That I… I…

What if I could never tell him any of this?

I could feel the tears start back up, but I wasn't aware of them. All I could feel was the worry and the pain. Naruto had grabbed my hand and begun to squeeze it gently, as if trying to keep me conscious of this world, but it wasn't working.

I was in a daze.

What if something happened to him?!

"Shikamaru…!" I mumbled, balling up the fist that wasn't in Naruto's care.

We sat there for a while, all of us. Jiraiya looked like he had done something wrong, and soon left. Naruto stayed by my side, telling me that it would all be okay. I didn't believe him, but it was nice to be reassured.

While he was talking, I could hear Shikamaru, in he back of my mind, telling me the same thing.

"Everything will be fine, I promise. Everything will be fine, I'll make it all fine."

His voice, sounding so sweet and loving, was making me cry again. Or, rather, cry even harder than I had been.

"Don't worry."

How could I not worry! I thought to the Shikamaru-in-my-head. You could be dead…

"It'll be okay. Everything will be okay."

The doorbell rang, pulling me from my thoughts and making his voice go away. Naruto stood halfway up, but I stopped him.

"I'll get it," I said lifelessly, not looking into his eyes.

"No, Sakura, you stay-" He protested, but I cut him off.

"I said, I'll get it." My voice held much more conviction this time, and He let me walk to the door. I didn't even bother erasing the traces of my tears from my face. I didn't even think about it.

I hurried to the front door, and opened it. It was raining outside, I noted. I hadn't even noticed.

And then, I saw him. He was drenched, soaked to the bone, and dripping with rain water. I wondered, in a small part of my brain, if he had walked. Probably not, that small part thought. It's just raining really hard outside.

But most of my brain was focused on the man in front of me. He had changed so much in so little time.

"Sakura," he said, his voice an octave lower that I remembered. I just stood there, door open, mouth probably hanging down, staring. "Sakura, please… come home?"

A/N: I hope you enjoyed it. It's a cliffhanger, just what the doctor ordered from me for you. I really, really, really like this chapter. I think it's much better than my last one. And the end makes me happy inside. I enjoyed re-reading the last parts of my ninth chapter for a good inspiration for this one. Well, I already had the plan for this chapter, I just had to get it written out. So yeah. I really hope you like it, again. Sorry for any mistakes, grammatically or spelling-wise. It's 2:19 in the morning, so I hope you'll forgive me. It's also so ridiculously hot in my room. It's like my computer generated enough heat to melt an ice cap and then some. Not to mention it's really hot outside, too, so opening a window doesn't help. Why in the world is it 70 some degrees in DECEMBER?! Wahhhhh!

Review, pretty please? -Rai