Dean rubs his hands over his tired eyes and flicks through the next few books. When he reaches the one about the day he and Castiel had tracked down Raphael, he deliberately skips all the scenes in the brothel.
He doesn't want to know what went on with Chastity before Castiel offended her; the angel's suit had been more than a little rumpled when he'd emerged, and the thought of him kissing her is more than a little unpleasant to him now.
Part of him wishes he'd never taken him there.
FREE TO BE YOU AND ME Stumbling out through the back door, Dean laughed to himself. Beside him, Castiel stood, more dishevelled than usual, his tie askew, and looked around the empty alleyway before returning his gaze to Dean. "What's so funny?" Dean threw an arm over Castiel's shoulder. "Oh, nothing," Dean said, "it's been a long time since I laughed that hard." The angel smiled. That's a good look on him, Dean thought to himself, and laughed a little louder. Castiel, meanwhile, was thinking the same thing of Dean. He was relieved that he hadn't had to go through with anything in the bordello. If tonight was indeed going to be his last night on Earth, of existence, he couldn't think of any way he'd rather spend it than by Dean's side. Somehow, Dean's presence was a comfort to him. He briefly thought that he should have made it clearer, earlier, when he told him that he had been planning to sit quietly, that he meant sit quietly together. He didn't think Dean would appreciate being told that, though. "It's been more than a long time," Dean amended after a moment, "Years." As he opened the door to the Impala, Dean wondered if he'd ever get to feel like this again, for real. With someone who it was possible to feel like this with. With someone human. He pushed the feeling down.
"I need a drink," Dean says to himself, but he doesn't get up.
It's five in the morning now, the bunker is cold, and he doesn't want to risk waking Sam. For a few minutes, he just stares at the page, knowing that the feelings he has hadn't quite come out of nowhere after all.
They've been there for years, building slow, brick by brick.
He tries not to read into the parts about Castiel's inner thoughts, though. He really tries.
When he gets to the next book, though, that becomes a little difficult.