Impossible
Au ish. He knew that their love was impossible. He knew that there was no way that he was going to be able to have his love. He was in love with someone else..the person he loved. And he knew...that it was impossible. He was known for doing the impossible...but this was one thing he couldn't do. "I am no longer your captain, I have resigned." And he couldn't take it anymore...
Disclaimer: I don't own the fandom or the songs used in this ever.
Chapter 2:
Glittering Clouds
The artists impression looks just like me...only...better.
Then, the next second he felt a steady punch knocking him backwards, and he stepped back, shaking then as he saw exactly who had just done that. His body went into a state of stiffness and he let his body hit the ground. He curled up then as he heard yelling, the words drowning out of his ears as he laid there, curled up tightly. He was shaking lightly as he laid there in the rain, the rain making him colder than he was before.
Go, go faster wider
More, more...
Time passed slowly and he felt his eyes close, the world lost to him in that moment. He wasn't even barley aware of arms wrapping around him and clutching him tightly. His body lay limp in those arms as he could feel his body jerk as it was moved along. He wasn't aware of who it was, but he was aware of the pain in his stomach from where he was punched. He didn't want to let the other person know that though, to know that it had hurt so badly. But it wasn't just the physical pain, it was also emotional. To think...he had been so stupid. He had been so stupid as to believe that something was going to change, and he had lept on that emotion.
Save me from myself...
"Jim...open your eyes." His mind was numb as he slowly opened his eyes as asked,and he gazed up at his ex-first commander. He felt tears slowly slip to his eyes knowing that he risked so much...for something like me. He forced his gaze to turn away from him and he swallowed heavily. "Jim." He was carefully sat down and he carefully took a glance at where he was, trying to see if there was a way out for one. When he found none, but the door that the other was stationed in front of, he took a deep breath and gazed at the other, but his heart hurt so much as he tried to comprehend that he was there. That he had just saved him. But why...why did you do that? Carefully the other took a step closer to him and put a hand on his shoulder. "You are so-"
"...I know." He whispered finally and looked down. "Not...not what you were expecting huh?" Was that...kiss nothing more than a mere distraction earlier...? "...nothing...like I used to be." The other sighed at that and shook his head a little bit.
"I was to say, skinny." He responded lightly then and sat down next to him, keeping his hand on Jim's shoulder as he carefully took in everything...all of the damage that had been done to him.
"...oh." Jim's eyes focused on the floor carefully as he heard a sigh escape the lips of the other.
"But yes...you have...changed." He stated as he leaned back a little bit. "But...with the conditions I have seen you live in, it seems to be a correct form of change..."
"..." Jim nodded a little and rubbed his arm a bit then before whispering. "Why did you come here? Why did you come after me...please...I want to know why. Because I remember...I told you not to even bother coming after me...but you still did...why?"
"...everyone was worried about you." So that was the only reason he came here... "And...I wasn't about to listen to your orders when they are like that. They were pitiful and you clearly did not think that I, as well as the others, would bother to try and find you. It was only logical that you would then come to a place that you thought would protect you and keep you safe from us. But it only got you in more problems did it not?" He inquired and Jim let out a heavy sigh, glancing over at him finally.
"Yes...I came here...to avoid all of you, to try and get away from all of you. Because I was..." He trailed off and bit his lip. "...I was...scared...to...to let any of you find me...I guess..." He shook his head a little bit and closed his eyes, leaning back. "I didn't want you to find me."
"...and why did you not want us to find you?" He asked calmly and Jim sighed a little more, glancing over at him. "Why did you even leave a note if you did not want to be found? If you had not we would have had no idea on what happened to you. But you blatantly left a note..."
"...I had things I wanted to say...that I couldn't say to anyone's face...but...shortly after realizing that...well..." He paused then. "...I realized...I couldn't say half of the things I wanted to say...or...it probably would have been much longer than it was..."
"...and what could you not tell us?"
What I couldn't tell you. "...I...well..."
"Yes?"
"...n-never mind..." Jim shook his head quickly, even after all of this time he still wasn't able to actually let those words leave his mind. There was just no way. "I-it's really nothing...no big deal or anything...eheh..." He let his eyes close and he gulped a little bit. That was a close one...he wasn't exactly sure what he would do if he actually explained it to him, or just told him... He just...somehow needed to forget that it ever happened and that something was ever wrong with that. He couldn't tell him and that was that. His eyes slowly closed.
"Jim...tell me."
"It's nothing." That was such a horrible lie...and it even hurt for him to say it. But...there was just no way that he could possibly tell him.
He felt those two hands grip onto his shoulders and he slowly looked up at him, biting his lip. "I can tell that it is not just nothing, Jim."
"Really. It is." No, no it's actually very important but...I can't let you know just what it is.
"Jim." His voice was more stern than it had been before, so much that he could actually feel it. His throat closed up a little and he closed his eyes tightly.
"...no." he whispered softly. "No I can't."
"Yes...you can."
"...no..." He wasn't even sure when it happened but he was aware of the fact that he fell against the other before he passed out.
I'm not always like this, it's something I've become
A terrible weakness, in my nature, in my blood
Save me, oh save me,
Save me from myself
Before I hurt somebody else again
Jim's eyes slowly began to open and he let out a soft groan. His body ached, but he wasn't sure exactly on why it hurt so much. Slowly sitting up he glanced around before letting out a soft sigh and flopping back again. He tried to ignore the pain and get back to sleep, not wanting to glance at the time or the date. What even...happened...? He closed his eyes with a light sigh as he tried to figure out what exactly was going on...but no... He got up then quickly and bit his lip as he looked around. No it's not my apartment...no...crud...no. He moved to his feet and glanced around, taking in every little crack and inch of the place. No one is here. He took a deep breath and then quickly began to think of a way out. There was two ways. A window. A door. He personally would go for the window, but...he figured that would be more obvious than going straight out the door, considering it was him.
Taking a deep breath he began to head to the door. He felt like he was being watched but he still moved and opened the door. Looking out he saw no one there, and he carefully began to move. I don't see anything...or anyone but...He felt like something was still wrong. Biting his lip he kept heading down the hallway, the feeling of being watched was still there.
"Got you." Arms grasped him and he let out a startled gasp. His eyes widened once before he dropped once more.