Puddle-Jumper38 - I noticed that my muses tend to stick towards series' of one-shots, just single one-shots, and I'm trying to get myself back into working on full-length stories. LOL If my muse was still with Stargate Atlantis, I've love to attempt to put these into full-length stories.

x Varda x ­- Glad you liked it :)

Shadows-of-Realm - Huh, I never even noticed how many times I had John stabbed. I hope this one's a little better. And LOL, yeah, I had to try a little twist with the zombies.

Jasminesmommy - Yes, Michael's always showing up when he's least wanted.

Dorothy - I probably would have had two updates at that time, but I've been out of town, and my internet connection at my grandfather's farm crapped out on me. Well, here's the next update. :)

Debbie418uk2 - I think I noticed that I did a lot of infirmary scenes at that point, and was trying for something different, so I had Carson appear at the end, out of the infirmary. I was thinking, however, that the end could have used an infirmary scene. I promise there's one here, though. LOL Glad you like it. I hope this one doesn't give it away right off the bat. :)

Here's the next update, and notice - There's about six chapters left.

I'd love to say I'm still working on Twilight fictions, but now I'm bouncing around between Twilight, Supernatural, and trying to finish off a PR fiction sequel I started over a year ago (for readers).

Thank you all for sticking with me. Hope you enjoy this. :)

I should have labelled this before, but it's a tag to Debbie418uk2's 'Rodney's Really Bad Days', 'Katie's Gift', and 'Before I Sleep' from the actual episodes.

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(Atlantis, Night time, Normal POV)

John sighed as he walked down the hall. It was empty, but then again, it was past curfew on Atlantis. All civilians without necessary work that needed to be completed ASAP were supposed to be in their rooms, and all military personnel besides night shift were also supposed to be in their rooms. This was one case where John felt lucky he and his team didn't have to follow those rules.

Not that there was any particular punishment if you were caught up past curfew. You just weren't allowed to skip out on the next day's work, unless you had a medical reason, and Carson had to back you up on that.

As it was, John was making his way to the lunch room, his stomach grumbling quietly. Frowning to himself, he stalked into the empty room and paused a moment to look around. It was still kind of strange, the difference in the room from night, when everything was stacked or put away until the next day, and day, when people were crowding around the room, chatting. Another growl and he rubbed his stomach, walking into the next room to go to the fridge. "So what have we got tonight?" Opening the fridge door, he frowned to see a raw steak on a plate.

It was unusual to leave food uncooked, and especially for it to have been left in a fridge like that. Reaching out, his hand paused over the steak as he frowned even deeper. Why am I reaching for it? I just had the munchies, and I really don't feel like cooking. The urge for a steak was becoming overwhelming, quickly, but before it was too late, John retreated from the fridge and closed the door, turning instead to one of the cupboards. "Ok, maybe something not quite so heavy, then."

Opening the cupboard, he found a bag of chips and grinned as he reached for them. As his eyes landed on his hand, however, the grin quickly faded and he pulled it back, staring at it in shock and horror. "Oh, no." The skin was blue and the texture wasn't right, and it was all too familiar. "Crap!" John reached for his ear, intending to tap the radio he was sure he'd put on before leaving his room, only to find that his ear was empty. There was no radio. "Double crap!"

Turning, he kept his hand down by his side and walked briskly out of the kitchen, leaving the cupboard open and ignoring the reason he'd come here in the first place. He kept up a brisk pace as he walked right out of the lunch room and down the hall, heading in the direction of the infirmary. "How the hell'd this happen?! I thought Carson cured the retrovirus!" He turned the corner and stopped cold.

"John!" Teyla was walking in his direction with a warm smile, dressed only in her night clothes. "I did not expect to find you up."

Oh, no, no, no. This is so not my night. "Uh, Teyla, hi." He shrugged and slipped his hand into his pocket, thankful he was wearing pants with pockets. "Uh, actually, I kinda had the munchies."

She raised an eyebrow and folded her arms over her chest. "And yet you are leaving the lunch room without a snack?"

"I, uh, ate it already." He tried to excuse himself. "Anyways, I should get going. Busy day tomorrow, and all that." He raised his other hand to wave, and watched as her eyes darted to it, and widened. Looking, himself, he cursed silently when he noticed a large patch on his arm that was like his other hand. Oh, no way! What the hell?! "Uh..."

"Is that not..." Teyla's eyes narrowed as she seemed to look him over. "I had thought Carson reversed the effects of the retrovirus."

"He, uh... Well, I thought so too." Pulling his other hand out of his pocket, he looked between the two marks and frowned. "Listen I was just heading over to get checked out."

Shaking her head, Teyla took a step back. "You cannot be trusted." Her tone and expression were grim.

"Whoa, hey!" Raising his hands, a red blast hit a pillar just behind her, from over John's shoulder, and he spun to find Ronon aiming his blaster at him. "What the hell did I do?! Come on guys, it's still me!" Where the hell'd Ronon come from, anyways?! Hearing more weapons around him, John looked around and found himself in the center of a large mass of marines who were all aiming their P90s and pistols at him. "Would you all just stop?!"

"We must take him to the brig!" Teyla called, still in her pajamas, but now holding a P90 that one of the marines had handed her.

Seeing everyone around him, pointing weapons at him, John took an involuntary step back, and watched as Ronon's hand snapped up, aiming the blaster even higher. Before he knew what he was doing, John jumped. He didn't think he'd go far, but then, the retrovirus was in effect, and he was able to jump over the heads of everyone. In fact, he jumped so high, he managed to grab the rafters with his hands, and climbed up into them, running along them and into a whole other section of Atlantis via them.

"What the hell?? How come they didn't see me as a threat last time?!" Panting a little, John looked around and found himself in an empty hall way. Jumping back down, he frowned when he landed easily and noticed that the virus had spread further up his arms. "I gotta hurry." Turning, he almost cried out in surprise as he came face to face with a Wraith. "Wha-" Shaking his head, he lashed out and punched the Wraith in the face, knocking him down. Seeing one of the standard issue pistols on the ground, he lunged for it and rolled across the floor, grasping the gun and raising it as he spun.

He didn't even look. Knowing there was a Wraith behind him, he began firing as he came up, not even taking the time to aim or check. He emptied the clip before everything came back into focus, and his eyes widened as he took in the scene before him. There was no Wraith. Standing in the middle of the battle zone with a good dozen or so holes in his chest, was Dr. Rodney McKay, looking shocked.

"What...? No, Rodney!"

Collapsing to his knees, the sightless eyes of Rodney McKay rolled back in his head as he fell to the ground, face down. There he lay motionless in a growing pool of his own blood.

"No, but... There was... There was a Wraith! I saw it!" Walking forward slowly, in a stupor, John collapsed to his own knees next to the still form. "I mean, he-he had the long white hair and everything. Jesus Rodney, what's...?" The empty gun fell from nerveless fingers. As he realized just how serious the situation was, John let out an inhuman scream and curled up in a ball, his mind looping over everything.

The retrovirus... It was supposed to be gone. But it's not... He looked at his mutated hand and arm. It's here, and everyone... They didn't trust me. He gazed at Rodney's dead body. But... He was a Wraith! I know it!

"You killed him."

Jumping up in surprise, John spun to find Elizabeth holding a sobbing Katie Brown. Teyla stood at their side fully dressed and armed with a P90, and behind her, a group of marines. Despite the gravity of the situation, John was hit with the urge to flee, and spun around, stopping as he saw Ronon at the other end of the hall with another group of marines.

"How could you? He was your friend."

There was no screaming, just quiet accusation from Elizabeth, who stared at John with eyes filled with hatred.

"He was coming to tell you he trusted you!"

"You killed him!" Teyla's eyes were also filled with hatred.

Shaking his head, John looked down at the body and then towards his friends. His...former friends...? Without even realizing it, he jumped again and climbed into the rafters before anyone could react. Climbing through them, he made his way to yet another part of Atlantis.

(Infirmary)

"What's wrong with him?"

"I'm not certain. It's like he's simply asleep, but I can't seem to wake him up." Carson frowned as he looked down at the gurney before him. "We've managed to locate the source of the problem. It seems to be a pollen given off by a small flower. Apparently Major Lexi Manning gave him one last night."

Katie Brown was sitting in the corner of the room and frowned. "I remember that flower, but it seemed harmless, that we know of. I mean, we ran tests on the pollen and it didn't come back as harmful in any way."

Another botanist came rushing into the infirmary, holding a computer pad which he handed to Katie and left again. "Oh. It seems the pollen's sedative side effect was activated as the seasons changed."

"Seasons?" Rodney raised an eyebrow, but kept his comments to himself.

"Yes, you see, we've found that here on Atlantis, there are similar season changes. They aren't as severe, we probably won't ever get snow, but they are still there. We just exited out of what we experience on earth as Spring, and into Summer. Reports from the mainland suggest others who were given the flower have also fallen into comatose states and aren't waking up."

"Alright, so all we need to do now is synthesize an antidote."

Suddenly, the body on the gurney jumped, and the heart rate monitor beeped warningly.

"This isn't good." Turning to his patient, Carson leaned over and began checking their vitals. "Well, I guess we know he's dreaming. His heart rate's up, and his breathing has increased." Frowning, he looked at the upper left arm, and grabbed a bandage off a tray a nurse was holding. "He wasn't injured before, was he?" Wrapping the arm, Carson looked to the others.

"No." Rodney frowned thoughtfully.

"Well, he's got a nasty gash now. What the hell is going on?!"

Everyone stared down at the form on the gurney, their faces filled with worry. Elizabeth stood next to Teyla, who was leaning against the wall. Ronon was standing next to Rodney, who was holding Katie's hand, and Carson stood over their patient.

(With John, Normal POV)

Holding his arm, John dashed down the hall from towards the infirmary. Major Lorne had managed to get in a lucky shot, but that wasn't going to happen again. Especially not since he'd been interrupted by the approaching marines, and John knocked him out. Hearing footsteps approaching, John's eyes widened and he ducked into a room, swiping his hand over the controls and thanking whatever god there was when the door slid closed, silently.

Turning slowly, he rested his back against the door and sighed, looking at the flesh wound on his upper left arm. It wasn't serious, and he tore off the hem of his shirt to bandage it before taking a moment to look around more carefully.

Rodney's quarters.

"But… His quarters aren't on the way to the infirmary." John had the path mapped out in his head, but he frowned when he realized he'd been running all over the place, and by now probably wasn't on that path any more. "Damn!" He looked at the empty bed and felt his insides turn cold as he walked over slowly and stared at the unmade mess. His mind played over the shooting of McKay, and he shook his head forcefully when he felt tears coming to his eyes. "Not now, gotta stay in control."

"Why?"

Jumping at the surprising voice, John spun around and felt his eyes widen to see the smiling face of Rodney McKay behind him. The scientist was dressed in his usual off world uniform, and had his hands behind his back as he stood at the door.

"McKay…?" John couldn't believe his eyes. He shook his head again, feeling his heart beating painfully. "But, that's not possible."

Now Rodney raised an eyebrow. "And why not? I have just as much right to be alive as you. No, actually, you killed me." Frowning deeply, Rodney's eyes hardened. "I have more of a right to live, than you do." Pulling his arms out from behind his back, he revealed the two pistols he was holding. Taking quick aim at John, he continued glaring. "I was your friend, and you shot me!"

"It's not like I meant to!" John cried, taking several steps back and looking around the room. Only one exit, and it's behind psycho McKay. Great. "Look, I thought…" He realized it sounded stupid, but he needed to try and explain. "I thought you were a Wraith." He saw McKay's eyes darken further and swallowed heavily. "No, no! That's not what I mean. Look, I saw a Wraith, I shot it. I didn't mean to shoot you, honestly. I'm sorry."

"Yeah, well, so am I." Aiming again, Rodney began firing, and it was only through his new improved speed and agility, that John was able to avoid the incoming bullets. "Would you hold still?! I'm trying to kill you here."

"Yeah, and that's why I won't hold still!" John dodged more bullets and glared at Rodney, trying to think of an effective way of disarming him, without hurting him. Seeing Rodney get distracted, as his doorbell chimed, John ran forward and jumped him, knocking both guns from his hands and grabbing one before backing away. "McKay, let's talk about this!" He aimed the gun carefully as Rodney grabbed the other one and slowly got up.

"Nothing to talk about." The scientist was breathing heavily. "You killed me, it's only fair I get to kill you too."

"Fair?!" John's eyes widened and he held the gun higher as Rodney aimed his.

"Well, looks like we got a standoff. What'cha gonna do?" Rodney glared, but also gave a dry grin. "Let me shoot and kill you, or kill me….again, and get away."

Hesitating for a moment, John knew he made a big mistake when he slowly began lowering his gun, but he couldn't do it. He was all too aware that Rodney could and probably would kill him, but he couldn't bring himself to shoot his best friend again, not even to hurt and disarm him. He heard the other gun fire, and felt the searing agony as the bullet entered his leg. Screaming in pain, he collapsed, dropping the gun, ignoring when it fired as it hit the ground, and grabbing his leg as he struggled to breath through the nauseating pain that echoed through him.

Blood rushed between his fingers, and he knew the bullet had exited the other side from seeing the second hole. Looking up at the sound of a dull thud, his teary eyes widened as he made out the blurry form of a stocky body hitting the ground a little ways away from him. No… "RODNEY!" He blinked a couple times, trying his hardest to clear his vision, and when he'd succeeded, he made out that Rodney had a bullet wound in his throat. No… Not again…

There was a beep and the door to Rodney's room slid open with a hiss, revealing heavy mist on the other side, and a single figure.

(Infirmary)

"Get that wound wrapped, stat! I need blood transfusions, now! He's loosing a lot of blood!" Carson was holding a formerly white dressing to John's leg, which was bleeding profusely. "What the hell's going on in his head?!" The dressing was soaked through, and John was thrashing around on the bed. He kept crying out 'No!' and 'Rodney!'.

It had taken some mulling around, but Rodney had come up with the theory on how John was suffering gunshot wounds in his sleep. There was always the theory that if the mind believed a wound was real enough, it could actually happen. Sure, it seemed like heresay and myth, but on Atlantis... In another galaxy... Well, obviously, anything was possible.

John was locked in a dream he had to believe was real. As such, any wound he received in his dream, his body actually sustained.

It was all a little too confusing and eery for Elizabeth, Teyla and Ronon, so they kept their questions to themselves as they struggled to help out in any way they could.

Teyla was holding one of John's arms down, and Ronon on the other side. Elizabeth was doing her best to hold down his legs, but it took Zelenka's help to hold them completely still. Rodney was holding on to John's stomach, trying to keep him as still as possible.

Hearing his name, Rodney's eyes widened in shock before narrowing in confusion. "Somehow I just know I don't wanna know what he's dreaming of." He muttered barely loud enough for the others to hear.

"I've given him the antidote, we just need to get him to realize it's a dream!" Carson called, taking a dressing from a nurse at his side, and pressing it firmly over the wound. "We need to keep him still enough for me to make sure there's no artery damage."

It had taken them an hour to synthesize the antidote, once they were able to safely get the baseball-sized flower out of John's room. Having given it to him through his IV, they waited for it to take effect, but not long after the shot, he'd began thrashing and screaming. They all tried calling to him, to tell him it was a dream, but he seemed not to hear them.

"Rodney, you need to talk to him!" Elizabeth called, having formed an idea. There'd been a minute reaction when Rodney called his name. It wasn't much, but it was more than what he showed to everyone else, combined.

"What good's that gonna do?"

Sighing loudly, she raised an eyebrow. "It's a theory that people who are in a deep sleep, or even a coma can still hear the people talking to them. The way he's going on, something bad must've happened to you in his dreams. He's not responding to any of us..."

Rodney felt kind of awed that John cared that much about him, but literally scared to find out what happened to him in his dreams. "Uh, Colonel?" He hesitated and looked into the pale and sweaty face of his best friend. God, I've put him through so much hell, how does he put up with me?? "John, I'm here! It's Rodney, I'm ok! John, it's just a dream, you need to wake up!"

John cried out Rodney's name again and thrashed around even more

"Damn it John, wake the hell up!! It's just a dream! It's not real! I'm right here! I'm ok! Wake up, Sheppard!"

(With John)

"Wake the hell up! It's just a dream! It's not real!"

The figure in the door was shadowed by blinding light behind them, but they were of average height and stocky build. The mist was slowly fading, and John stared in shock as he heard the words. "It's feels pretty damn real to me!" He called back, gasping in agony and staring through his teary eyes at the fallen body before him. "Rodney…" It was just a sob as he clutched his leg and let his head drop.

"I'm right here! Wake up, Sheppard! It's Rodney!"

His head came up quickly, and he opened his eyes. There, in the door that was now clear of mist and bright light, stood Rodney. Unharmed, and not quite so psycho-looking. He looked upset and panicked, and he held out one hand.

"It's just a dream, you need to wake up!"

Just…a dream…? Well, it did kind of make sense. John realized he was no longer showing signs of the retrovirus, and after thinking about it, he'd killed McKay. Twice. And yet, there he was, standing in the door way as if nothing had happened.

"Come on, you gotta wake up, John!"

Closing his eyes against a massive headache, John groaned and let his head drop once again.

(Later, Infirmary)

Sitting up in bed, John winced as it pulled at the stitches in his leg. Frowning at the injury, he looked around, thankful that he was alone. I killed Rodney. Twice, in my dreams. Some part of him knew that it only happened because it was a constant fear that Rodney would get injured, if not killed, because of him, but it didn't lessen his guilt any. I killed him. Twice. I shot him.

"Good evening, Colonel. I see you're awake." Kate Heightmeyer walked into the room and smiled at him. Seeing his face, however, her smile faded. "Is something the matter?"

"I killed Rodney, twice, in my dreams." John spoke the words out loud, not sure whether he meant to, or it was just automatic. "I didn't mean to. The first time I saw a Wraith, at least, I thought it was a Wraith. The second time, he shot me, I dropped the gun and it went off as it hit the ground."

"Neither of those are your fault, Colonel." Sighing, Kate walked over. "I spoke to some of the other people who fell victim to the pollen and they all had one thing in common. You know what that was?" She paused for a moment. "Some of their worst fears playing out in their dreams. Three people died, John." She patted his shoulder. "It's not your fault."

"I still killed him."

Pausing for a moment, Kate looked thoughtful, then smiled again. "Well, I hear Carson is going to let you out today. How about when you get back to your room, have Rodney over for a movie? Just sit back and hang out with your best friend. Let the pain go, and just let yourself realize that Rodney is alive. None of that happened, and it's not going to."

"Barring Wraith mind-control, or some kind of hallucinogen or something. Or a freak accident."

Frowning at John, Kate handed him his radio from the small tray next to his gurney. "Call him. Sit with him and watch a movie." She made it out to be pretty much an order. "If you're still having problems with this tomorrow, I want you to come see me, ok?"

John looked at the radio and hesitated. "I dunno-"

"Colonel, do it." Her tone brooked no argument, as she held out the radio.

Taking the radio, John sighed and put it in his ear, hitting the button as Kate smiled a little, patted his shoulder and left. "Hey Rodney, what'cha doing tonight?" Maybe Kate was right. Besides, he really could use a good movie, and it was always nice to watch one with Rodney, despite his constant grumbling. "I got the 'Son of the Mask'."

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Hope you like it.

Written October 20, 2008

I was going for more serious, and trying to put more emphasis on John and Rodney's friendship.

R+R please

Thank you

Tenshi