Thank my husband for this chappie, we've been having fun throwing out what would make Snape faint.
"Severus! Severus Snape you narrow ass minge, I will never sleep with you again! You could coat your dick with gold and cum diamonds, I hate you!"
Severus cringed at the projection the tiny witch managed to get the whole labour and delivery probably heard that one, he looked at the selection of Weasly men and Harry Potter all fathers themselves
"Is it like this every time?"
Bill laughed
"Hell no Professor if it's really bad you may find your bits hexed, Fluer hexed my bits, I was the size of a mouse by the time she was done with me, for 2 days I needed muggle tweezies and a spell too piss!"
Severus looked at him aghast, he had just seen Bill Weasly paw his half veela wife not 4 hours before, in fact Severus quite believed he had tried to impregnate her while dressed in the hallway of St Mungos, grinding himself on the witch as she whispered in his ears as if he hadn't seen her mere hours before. Severus refused to believe William had sex with the french witch still after she's hexed his bits? Clearly these Weaslys had way too much yardage between the gold post, he'd have to make sure his son never played quidditch the bludger hits to the head impacted mental ability clearly.
If Hermione Granger Snape hexed him he would never touch the terror of his wife again, ever!
Arthur laughed
"Molly hexed me, I shared her labour pains with Ronald and Ginny, after that I had a muggle vas-ce-to-me!'
Harry paled.
"yeah she taught Ginny that one, one more and we are done, I wanted 5-6 kids but no way am I going thru that 4 more times"
The man who lived shook himself as if awakening from a nightmare, Severus thought possibly he had misheard the pair of wizards
"Sirs you are telling me that your wives placed a spell on you which enabled you to share their pain of child birth? And you have allowed your wives into Hermione's birthing suite?"
Harry chuffed and mouthed "Allowed" at his father in law, Ron cackled, Arthur shook his head Severus and Hermione had been only married 2 months when the petite witch fell pregnant they hadn't even had 1 year together yet, he'd learn, you didn't allow your wife a thing.
Severus stood and rushed to the door of the labour room pushing it open, he was greeted to the sight of Hermione's nether regions spread wide a cap of black hair crowing, if he had still been lucid after seeing that he would have felt the 3 hexes hit him, he would have felt the pain as his daughter finished crowing earning her mom 2 small stitches, but Severus was on the floor, he'd fainted dead away.