In all her years of practicing law, Dara Jensen had seen her share of self-involved parents. Hell she had lived in Port Charles while the mob ruled it and no one was less concerned about their children's safety than that group in her opinion. But not one of the deadbeat dads, flighty irresponsible mothers, or parents who only seemed to realize children were involved when there was a hefty child support payment involved could touch Elaine Webber, Dara decided.

The stylish blonde had a certain cool charm, Dara allowed, if you liked ice queens. All during Diane's questioning, Elaine had not once looked in her daughter's direction. Her entire testimony had been a litany of what a normal family would have been considered stories of teenage exuberance. She had considered objecting many times, but then realized that despite the intentions of Diane Miller, this testimony was more than likely not going to help the Grimes case one bit.

Smiling sweetly, Dara stood up and approached the witness stand. When Elizabeth had told her what she had learned the night before, it had cemented her belief in karma. Diane Miller was going to learn what it felt like to see a bomb go off in the middle of your carefully orchestrated plan. "Mrs. Webber, you've testified that you and your husband have good relationships with your children overall, with the exception of your youngest daughter did you not?"

"That is correct."

"And this would include your son Steven?"

"I am very proud of my son." Elaine said curtly.

"That isn't what I asked Mrs. Webber. I asked if you considered your relationship with your son a good one."

"We have our ups and downs as any mother and son do."

"Ups and downs." Dara paced through the courtroom with an amused smile on her face. Technically she could force Elaine to answer the question directly by appealing to the judge, but this would be a much better way to go about it altogether. "That is an interesting phrase. Ups and downs. Mrs. Webber, your son decided to not back you or the rest of your family's decision to testify against your daughter is that correct?"

"Steven feels very strongly about Elizabeth and always tries to stop her from making her bad decisions. I'm confident one day he will learn, as we all have, that that is fruitless."

Dara resisted the urge to smack the other woman senseless. Turning back towards the table, she shot a wink in Lucky and Elizabeth's direction. The fun was about to begin. "Mrs. Webber, if you feel you generally have a good relationship with your son, and that eventually he would see things your way where his sister was concerned, then what is your explanation for him not informing you of his marriage almost three months ago?"

"Objection Your Honor!" Diane Miller nearly jumped out of her seat in her haste to stand up. "Steven Webber's marital status is of no relevance to this case."

"Overruled Ms. Miller." Judge Hendricks said coolly. "You opened this door when you called Mrs. Webber as a character witness. Proceed Ms. Jensen."

"Thank you Your Honor." Turning towards Elaine once again, Dara aimed her best smile at the other woman. "Mrs. Webber if you could answer the question please."

"I'm not a child. You don't have to patronize me. I don't believe for one second that Steven consciously made the decision to marry Georgie Jones. She obviously manipulated him. He didn't tell me because he was ashamed." Elaine decided.

"So your son has been manipulated. Your youngest is immature and incapable of making a rational decision according to your testimony. Mrs. Webber forgive me but it seems the only child you like is the one who followed your life plan for her."

"Your Honor!" Diane Miller yelped.

"It is her testimony Your Honor."

"Proceed. Ms. Miller, I will find you in contempt if you don't sit down."

Seeing Diane reluctantly sit down, Dara tried to resist the urge to perform a little victory dance right here, right now in the middle of the courtroom. "Let's move on shall we? Mrs. Webber have you met Cameron Spencer? Or your own grandchildren?"

"I've attempted..."

"Attempted?" Dara interrupted. "Attempted? Mrs. Webber your grandchildren are almost two months old. And Cameron Spencer has been in your daughter's life for a little over a year now. How have you only attempted to meet them?"

Dara smiled as she watched Elaine struggle for an answer. It was a bit hard to portray yourself as a concerned grandmother when you had never even met the children in question. Pulling a picture of the twins taken a few hours after their birth from underneath her legal pad, Dara moved closer to the witness box. "Maybe this will be easier for you to answer Mrs. Webber. Can you identify for the court which twin is which?"

"I'm sorry?" Elaine was clearly puzzled by the question and looked towards Diane for guidance. Obviously this was not a situation they had prepped for.

"Please identify for the court which twin is where in the picture." Dara slowed her speech as she explained for the second time. "And if you could use their full names, for the record."

"Their full names?"

"You do know your grandchildren's full names don't you Mrs. Webber? I would think that a woman as concerned about their welfare as you have testified to be wouldn't find this so hard."

"Of course I know their names." Elaine snapped, annoyed as she grabbed for the picture. "The one on the left is Jake Spencer and the one on the right is Grace." She offered the picture back to Dara. "Happy?"

"Thank you Mrs. Webber." Turning towards Judge Hendricks Dara handed up the photo. "Your Honor, I request the record show that Elaine Webber identified Lauren Grace Spencer as her brother and Jacob Patrick Spencer as his sister."

"So noted."

"Thank you. And I have no further questions for this witness."

*****

"You never did tell me what we're celebrating." Robin pointed her plastic spoon in Elizabeth's direction as they sat at a little white table in front of a long row of stores eating ice cream.

"Well as all good celebrations, the reason is three fold. One, you're home early. Two, you're being home early means Dillon no longer can torture me with every movie he deems a classic. Three, most importantly and probably the reason why I am a truly awful person, Dara made my mother's testimony look as important as being a mob lawyer who doesn't know exactly what her clients are doing."

"Did you take a picture? They last longer, you know? Blackmail never goes out of style."

"I did wish for a camera, but I got the feeling the judge would not approve."

"When can I get on that stand?" Robin asked, her tone almost passing for indifference. She stirred the chocolate chips in the bottom of her plastic cup until they started melting together.

"Dara said she would let you know now that you are back in town. And by the way, don't think for a second we aren't discussing why you are home early in the first place and why I did not get a phone call!"

"Calm down." Robin laughed. "We're miles from Port Charles, but I swear, I think they heard you just now."

"Excuse me." Elizabeth huffed as she sat back in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest. "But when I get a note at my house saying, 'I'm back, Call you later' from you when I think you are overseas for a least three more weeks, I'm entitled to do a little squealing. Especially after the night I had."

"How is Steven? Lucky said it was a hit-and-run?"

"Yeah. The doctors say he's healing, but he just won't wake up for whatever reason." Elizabeth smiled sadly. "I think he's just playing chicken."

"Playing chicken? Is he hiding out from that secret girlfriend, you think?" Robin lifted a curious eyebrow.

"More like the reaction about his secret wife."

"Secret wife?"

"Yes apparently my brother decided to elope while in Paris."

"In Paris? I don't under—" Robin's voice broke off. "Georgie. Georgie?"

Elizabeth nodded slowly. "Yeah. Apparently they were better friends than anyone suspected."

"She's married?" Robin didn't know what to do with this. It was all a joke. "Like, has a husband? Steven is her husband? I don't...I don't understand this."

"Trust me I'm still freaking out myself. And I'm a little fuzzy on details. But the bottom line is we apparently played matchmaker for them and they've been married for a few months now."

"A few months? I was just there! She didn't say anything! That little liar." Robin smiled.

"Hey I'm adjusting to the fact that apparently my children have an Aunt Georgie. And it looks like they were going to tell your uncle first and then tell everyone. Steven was on his way to meet Georgie and Mac when he got hit."

"This would happen when she decides to come clean. Uncle Mac is such a drama queen."

"To be fair he seemed to handle it way better than my parents. At least I didn't hear about him accusing her of making it up for reasons that don't make much sense to normal people."

"What do you mean?"

"My mother seems to think Georgie manipulated Steven into marrying her. Now she's not pregnant and my brother is not rich so I'm a little confused as to why anyone would manipulate him into marrying them. But I will say it was great to see Georgie kick them out and put a ban on them at hospital security."

"That—" Robin shook her head. "Never mind."

"Yes it's better not to think too hard on it." Elizabeth nodded.

"There's no way they'll be credible witnesses now." Robin smirked, tossing her finished cup in a nearby trashcan.

"Even if they were, my mother misidentifying Jake and Gracie sealed the deal."

"She couldn't tell them apart?" Robin's jaw dropped.

"No. If I didn't think it would send them straight to therapy down the line, it would be a funny story to tell them. Now we know why we are celebrating, so what exactly do you need to get ready for Patrick Junior here?"

"Oh everything. So far, he has one outfit and that's to come home from the hospital in." Robin explained. "It just kind of snuck up on me, I guess. I was in his, well what will be his nursery, and I got to thinking how unprepared I am."

"So we're talking clothes, furniture and the like?"

"Basically. Where do you think we should start?"

"Just one slight question before we completely decimate the credit cards. Have you told anyone in your family about the little one here? Because I'm thinking if you haven't, we probably don't want the delivery truck from Babies R Us sitting outside the penthouse."

"About that...we were thinking of having everyone over for dinner tomorrow night. Force everyone to be in the same room together, get the guys talking, pick Luke, Laura, and Lulu's jaws off the ground, and keep a defibrillator handy in case Uncle Mac goes into cardiac arrest." Robin was only half joking. With all that her uncle had been through this last year, this might very well finish him off.

Elizabeth let out a low whistle. "First off, way ambitious girlfriend. Secondly are you trying to top my brilliant announcement skills at the Christmas party?"

"I prefer a smaller body count." Robin smirked. "If at all possible."

"Oh that's probably impossible. While we walk, let's discuss something a little more attainable. Like making our stubborn boyfriends play nice."

"How do you think we should go about it, oh clever one?"

"Lock all three of them in a closet and refuse to let them out?"

"It's warm out. We could lock them out on the balcony."

"Unless the forecast calls for rain. And, unfortunately, I think they might see through that. I don't think you are going to like my suggestion, but I think we are going to need some assistance."

"What did you have in mind?"

"There is one person none of them would dare to cross."

"And that would be?"

"Laura."

"That's true. They wouldn't want to cross her. First, it was the threat of marrying them off. Now, it's something else entirely."

"And you know now that there are children involved." Elizabeth nodded her head and smiled knowingly. "You know she always envisioned their children playing together and being best friends too."

"She wouldn't like them messing up her careful plans."

"Not at all. Not to mention we bring her in now, she might forget to be upset with the whole not knowing about the pregnancy thing."

"You really think so?"

"So the main question is how do we approach Laura?"

Previews:

"The situation isn't going to be pretty and I really don't think it's right to put the baby in that kind of atmosphere when it can be prevented."

"It most certainly can be. Especially if you go prepared to be mature and deal with whatever it is that has you three acting like children."