Title: The Greatest
Summary: Before Jaken followed Fluffy he was the Greatest of all the toad demony things. But how did he become the greatest? By being a devious and sneaky little crapper, that's how.
It was that time again. Time to vote for a new Greatest Toad Demony Thing. But first things first: time for nominations. As usual, Jaken paid off one of the younger toad demony things to nominate him. This year there were a whopping seven nominations. (That's a whole lot for the toad demony things.)
Four nominees needed to be cut. Time for second nominations. Very quickly and un-sly like, Jaken stomped on the closest toad demony thing's foot.
"Jaken!" the toad demony thing yelled, holding his foot. Jaken snickered as the toad demony thing taking the second nominations put his name down. Jaken looked at his two opponents.
George W. Toad and Bill Toadton. How would he beat the opposition? He tried every year, you see, and failed every year as well. Things, however, were looking good for Jaken this year. George W. Toad only wanted to fight with the rival toad demony thing clan, and Bill Toadton had a bad habit of kissing all the girl toad demony things even though he was mated.
Jaken, however, did not know this. He may have been a devious little toad demony thing who wished to rule over all the other toad demony things, but he was very stupid.
Jaken, however, did not know this. For he was too stupid to even begin to consider the fact that he was stupid. But that's beside the point.
Now…to beat the opposition. He needed pictures. And not just any pictures. He needed blackmail pictures. How to get them…hmm. Jaken spotted the younger toad demony thing that he paid to nominate him.
"Hey, kid!" he said to the younger toad demony thing, "You wanna earn some more money?"
"You bet I do mister," the younger toad demony thing said, in a voice that reminded you of Prince the twelfth from Garfield: Tale of Two Kitties when he asked for more lasagna. Not that any of the toad demony things knew what a Garfield was, or a kitty, or lasagna, or who in the hell Prince the twelfth was. But again, that's beside the point.
"Then here's how you do it," Jaken said, whispering his devious little plan in the younger toad demony thing's ear. Jaken, being the stupid toad demony thing that he was, gave the younger toad demony thing his payment before Jaken got the pictures. Jaken never did get those blackmail photos. He had to move on to other ideas.
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