Chapter Three
Kaji Aoi was a man with a gift.
It was not the kind of musical gift that Tsukimori, Kahoko, or the rest of the group had. To be quite honest, Kaji Aoi failed at being a successful musician. Compared to the rest of the ensemble group, he always had to practice twice as hard in order to cope with the progress of the ensemble.
He knew he was never a talented musician right from the beginning.
When Kaji was small, the first music instrument he learned was the violin. Not knowing his limits, Kaji happily attended the Annual Junior Music Eisteddfod. There he was defeated, mercilessly by a boy of his own age, a very talented, brilliant child who performed at a standard that exceeded by far what you would have expected from a child.
After the cruel defeat, Kaji never picked up the violin again. Instead, he became a violist, maybe because, viola was more known as a supporting instrument, so Kaji could still be a musician, but he would not have to compete. He would just be the background voice, better not to be noticed.
Despite the fact Kaji Aoi may not make it for a brilliant musician, he had the gift and ability that no one else in the ensemble group inherited. It was the gift of hearing.
With his perfect hearing, Kaji could tell a good music from what was not. That was why when he accidentally overheard Kahoko's practice three years ago, he knew it was the music he had been looking for. Standing there amongst the gathered crowd, Kaji's entire being was captivated and mesmerized by Hino Kahoko.
You could probably call it love at first sight. Although Kaji did not know who the performer was, but still, Kaji knew, she was the one.
Day after day, Kaji returned to Rinkai Park, where he first met her, hoping to hear her perform again. It was lucky for Kaji that the mysterious girl returned not many days later. This time from her school uniform, Kaji learned that this wonderful musician attended schooling at Seiso Gakuin.
Immediately and without hesitation, Kaji made arrangements to transfer out from his current elite, prestige school into Seiso Gakuin. Such decision was of course frowned upon and opposed by his family, but Kaji's father supported his son's idea.
"It would be good for Aoi to see things from a different view. It will help him grow."
With elation, Kaji Aoi enrolled into Seiso Gakuin half way through second year of senior high school, a very odd time to be transferring for any student preparing for a university entrance exam the following year. However to Kaji it did not matter. He thought his life was starting to go uphill when he was the lucky boy that sat next to Hino Kahoko in class.
With his limited ability in music, Kaji was most joyous when Kahoko invited him to join the ensemble. Hoping not to drag the whole team down, Kaji would always secretly practice harder than anyone. Unfortunately it only appeared clearer to Kaji that no matter how hard he worked, he could never be like the others in the group.
The torture for Kaji did not end there however. It was at the ensemble Kaji Aoi met the same boy that defeated him in the Junior Music Eisteddfod many years ago, Tsukimori Len.
"Kaji, are you serious about being in this ensemble?" In a strict and cold manner, Tsukimori put down his violin and asked in displease. "You made so many mistakes throughout the practice."
Feeling a prick in his heart, Kaji quickly laughed along. "Yeah, you're right. The viola was killing the entire ensemble. But that part was kind of hard…"
Unfortunately Kaji's words only seemed to provoke Tsukimori further as in an unyielding tone, Tsukimori replied. "If you thought the music was too difficult for you, doesn't it mean that you just have to work harder?"
It was at such a low, depressed moment like this, Kahoko approached Kaji. It did not seem to bother her that he was not a great musician and he was dragging the whole group down. Instead, with a warm, kind and understanding smile, Kahoko encouraged him.
"I really love music," Kahoko would smile and say. "Unlike the rest of the group, I did not know music until recently. There were of course times when I thought I couldn't go on, but when I realised how deeply in love I am with music, I wanted to spread the joy of music to as many as possible."
Looking at Kahoko's beautiful smile, Kaji felt that he had fallen for her all over again. Endeavouring to keep that smile on Kahoko's face, Kaji worked even harder. Everyday after school and after the ensemble rehearsal, he would practice in secret so that no one would see. If his original effort were not enough, he would just have to work twice as hard!
"You have indeed spread the joy, Hino-san." Smiling in return Kaji replied. "That is why I am your fan!"
Blushing with Kaji's words, Kahoko complained. "Kaji-kun, stop teasing me already. You and I both know that compared to everyone else, I am such an amateur. "
"That's not true, Hino-san." Kaji insisted. "Although I may not make a brilliant musician. But I have perfect hearing. I know your music is although still raw, but there is something special, something marvellous that I have never heard before."
"Really?" In embarrassment, Kahoko asked quickly hoping to take the emphasis off her. "Does that mean you can understand everyone else's music as well?"
Nodding, Kaji started to interpret what he had learned. "Tsukimori's music was of course perfect, extraordinary, highly skilled, and already a musical genius, he still worked harder than anyone. I really respect his attitude towards music.
Shimizu inherits perfect skills like Tsukimori. He could precisely play any piece like how it was written on the textbooks, and the fact that he was always seeking to learn more really impressed me.
Fuyumi-chan's music although sounded soft and timid, but it is one of the most beautiful performances I have ever heard. She just needs to boost up her confidence, and it would be perfect!
Tsuchiura's piano performance although outwardly appeared powerful and strong, yet I could hear the smallest detail and preciseness that he input into his performance. In a way, he is very similar to Tsukimori also. Despite having the talent, Tsuchiura worked hard to achieve his skills.
Oh, and Hihara-san's music always made me smile. It was the kind of music that can touch people's heart, because you could tell Hihara-san really enjoyed it, and his joy was able to influence those around him."
Nodding, Kahoko must admit that she agreed with Kaji's interpretation. In curiosity, Kahoko asked. "How about Yunoki senpai?"
"Yunoki-san?" To Kahoko's surprise, Kaji hesitated a little upon her question. Then squeezing out a smile he asked instead. "Err…that flute Yunoki-san has was quite an expensive flute wasn't it?"
"Yes, I think it was." Kahoko nodded, but in astonishment she asked quickly. "You don't think Yunoki senpai's music is beautiful?"
"No, no, that's not what I meant." Kaji justified quickly. "Of course Yunoki-san's music is beautiful. He is as talented and skilful as the rest, it's just that…" Pausing, Kaji did not know how to best describe the odd impression he had with Yunoki's music. "I don't know, but whenever I listened to Yunoki-san's performance, it felt kind of like, err…you know, like he is glaring at you? There was something dark and bitter beneath that beautiful sound…"
"Really? It's sad to know that my music gave people that kind of feeling."
Before Kahoko answered, a familiar voice appeared from behind Kaji. All the blood in Kaji's body immediately rushed to his feet in terror when he recognised the owner of the voice. Feeling cold sweat in his palms, with few dry laughter Kaji whispered to Kahoko. "Is…is Yunoki-san standing behind me?"
"I have tried my best to perform, but if my music really gave people that feeling, I must say, I am really saddened." Pretending he did not see the fear in Kaji's eyes, Yunoki sighed as sorrow painted his face.
"Err, I, I must have been wrong." Quickly turning around, Kaji explained. "I am sure Yunoki-san's music is wonderful, so ignore what I just said. Anyway, I got to go!" Like fleeing from there, Kaji gave Yunoki a bow and quickly ran off.
"That Kaji is one arrogant prick." After it was only Yunoki and Kahoko left, immediately the smile faded from Yunoki's face as he turned to Kahoko in irritation. "Especially the way he wags his tail around you like a puppy dog…" Stopping, Yunoki concluded with a smirk. "Maybe I should squash him before he grew wings..."
Not knowing what to say, Kahoko laughed along. Deep inside, Kahoko must say, Kaji indeed has perfect hearing. He was a hundred percent right about Yunoki!
---
So, that small incident triggered a long prolonged cold war between Yunoki Azuma and Kaji Aoi. Unlike everyone else, that is, every single person that studied in Seiso Gakuin, Kaji Aoi was the only person who did not seem to buy Yunoki's forever-perfect gentle smile.
Yunoki knew that of course and to him, Kaji Aoi's presence was like a thorn in the side. Now they have all grown up, unfortunately like a cruel joke, Yunoki and Kaji ended up in the same university.
"Kaji-san, you're the best!"
"Kaji-san!!!!!!!!!"
A mocking smile crept onto Yunoki's lips as he watched the girls screaming and cheering around the campus tennis court. In the middle of the court was a tall youth with beautiful green emerald eyes returning every shot coming at him in a most skilful way. In a polite manner, the youth nodded and smiled in return to the girls only to cause more screaming and cheering from his female audience.
"Kaji-san," Yunoki saw one of the girls approached the youth as he walked out of the tennis court at the end of the game. In a sweet smile, the girl lowered her head and stuttered in embarrassment. "I…I was…wondering if…"
Yunoki knew immediately what kind of scenario was happening, maybe because he himself had too many similar experiences. "Thank you for flattering me like this," As expected, Yunoki saw Kaji Aoi apologised with a charming smile after the girl had confessed. "But I am really not the kind of person you are looking for…"
"I knew you would reject me…" The girl sobbed and interrupted before Kaji could finish the sentence. "Everyone said you already had a girlfriend."
"That's not true," Kaji replied still in his kind gentle smile. "You have been misinformed."
"You…you don't have a girlfriend?"
"There is a girl, but she is not my girlfriend." Kaji replied as a blissful smile came onto his stunningly handsome face. "She is a wonderful, fantastic person. Although this admiration was only one way, from me to her of course, but I believe I will continue to admire and adore her for the many years to come."
In sadness, the girl sobbed as she turned and ran off. Not expecting Yunoki to be standing there, the girl covered her mouth in shock and embarrassment. However, as smooth and polite as he always was, Yunoki gently handed the girl a handkerchief. "Here, please use this."
"Thank…thank you Yunoki-san!" Immediately, the sadness on the girl's face was replaced with indescribable joy for she could never imagine being rejected by Kaji Aoi could win her Yunoki Azuma's handkerchief! Knowing she won herself a pretty good deal, the girl skipped off in joy.
"A polite gentleman as always, Yunoki-san." Kaji gave Yunoki a smile. "Sorry to have to let you see that embarrassing scene."
Unmoved, Yunoki replied Kaji also with a smile. "It's a pity such a popular person like you would decline all these admirations over a girl you knew that does not love you." Pausing, The smile on Yunoki's face deepened as he added. "That girl you were referring to, I believe her to be Hino-san?"
Kaji knew Yunoki's simple question was of a deeper meaning. He noticed a slight challenging, displeased tone in Yunoki's voice. And why would Yunoki show such unpleasant attitude towards him when Kahoko was mentioned? Kaji knew, there was only one reason.
"Of course the girl I referred to was Hino-san. She was the reason I transferred to Seiso Gakuin in the first place." To Yunoki's surprise, Kaji made no attempt to deny as he replied shamelessly. "It was love at first sight. Everything about her mesmerised me."
"I see," Yunoki nodded, the smile still has not left his beautiful face. "Are you really satisfied with just being a friend and admirer that you never planned to make a move?"
"No." Shaking his head Kaji replied. "I knew that I was never good enough for her, so I would not even dream about being the match of her life. However," Kaji stopped as the smile left his face. "I have determined to make sure I would do anything to protect her from pests that try to go anywhere near her."
"Pests?" An icy coldness came upon Yunoki's face upon what Kaji said. "Would you care to enlighten me?"
Not at all intimidated by the black aura shooting out from Yunoki, Kaji continued. "Such as engaged man who could not fight for what they want, or man who walked out on her years ago."
"Walked out on her?" As if he did not hear the sarcasm aimed at him in the first part of Kaji's sentence, Yunoki asked instead. "Was it Tsukimori that you were referring to?"
Kaji did not respond to Yunoki's question, as he kept quiet. Three years ago, he had already noticed the change in Tsukimori's music as time went on. Initially, Tsukimori's music was, sharp, skilled, yet it lacked the power that could move people's heart. However, as all of them assisted Kahoko in the ensemble, Kaji noticed the change in Tsukimori's music. Whenever he practiced with Kahoko, Tsukimori's music transcended into another level. What astonished Kaji the most was that this change was not one-way but mutual. Whenever Kahoko and Tsukimori performed together, there was such a bond, a connection that spoke clearly to Kaji of their mutual attraction.
Knowing although a cold, unfriendly person, Tsukimori was more sincere and absolute to what he was passionate about than anyone, Kaji believed Tsukimori's love towards Kahoko would be the same. Unfortunately it appeared Kaji was wrong when Tsukimori abandoned Kahoko and went to Vienna.
It destroyed Kaji when he saw how Kahoko tried so hard to stand strong when deep inside she was so hurt and devastated with Tsukimori's departure. It was at the lowest times, Kaji noticed one person that stood by Kahoko selflessly and brought her through. That person endeavoured to make Kahoko smile again, and his energy and cheerfulness really placed that genuine smile and happiness back on Kahoko's face again.
Finally turning his eyes to look at Yunoki, Kaji stated in determination. "Hino-san's happiness means everything to me. She was hurt three years ago, but now finally she was able to smile again, I don't want her to lose that." Stopping, Kaji added. "No one should come in between Hino-san and Hihara-san, not you, or even Tsukimori."
With Kaji's open challenge, Yunoki's beautiful eyebrow lifted a little. If it was a battle that Kaji had declared against him, with gladness will he take it.
---
Feeling her heart heavy, Hino Kahoko let out a sigh as she left the train station heading towards the concert hall where their daily orchestra practice was held. Although it was just another day of the routine orchestra practice, Kahoko knew it was no longer the same.
First of all, the man that occupied her entire being three years ago had once again returned to her life. Whether Kahoko liked it or not, that man would be there at the practice, performing with her just like how they once did three years ago. Unfortunately that anticipation and joy from long ago had now turned into bitterness and dread. Knowing Tsukimori would remain only for a short time, Kahoko did not want to be hurt again. Seeing the person you love walked out of your life once was enough, Kahoko did not want to taste that devastation again.
The second difference was, Kahoko arrived the concert hall today alone. Week after week, it had been so normal and natural that Hihara would accompany her to the practice together. Unfortunately, the person that would greet her with a warm, cheerful smile first thing in the morning was not there when she arrived campus this morning. Throughout the day, no matter where Kahoko's searched, that familiar, tall figure was nowhere to be found.
Of course Kahoko and Hihara did not have prior arrangements to meet up on campus, so there was nothing odd if Kahoko did not see him today. Still, Kahoko could not help but hold the thought that Hihara was avoiding her. Especially the look of sadness on Hihara's face last night when he asked Tsukimori to walk her home, it was not hard to see what Hihara was thinking.
Yunoki once told Kahoko that Hihara was like a piece of white paper. Whatever was going through his mind, it would reflect straight away on his face. Kahoko was not foolish and noticed the change in Hihara occurred upon Tsukimori's sudden return. With that, Kahoko was confirmed, Hihara knew about her past relation with Tsukimori.
With another sigh, Kahoko gently opened the door to one of the preparation rooms. To her surprise, the moment she opened the door, she saw the face of the person that she was looking for all day.
"Ah…Kaho-chan…" Immediately the look of sadness came on Hihara's face, as he looked away avoiding Kahoko's eyes.
"Hihara…senpai." Kahoko greeted softly not knowing what to say.
Upon the way Kahoko addressed him, Hihara felt his heart sank as despair took over. The night when Kahoko called him 'Kazuki senpai', where he thought their relationship had taken a step closer had now returned to it's starting point. To Kahoko, he was nothing more than a senior, a friend. Therefore, the best thing he could do was to step aside now, his desire to have Kahoko as his girlfriend must be abandoned.
Quickly squeezing out a smile, Hihara said in abnormal cheerfulness. 'It's wonderful isn't it that Tsukimori has returned! He is now a most successful, brilliant violinist and was entrusted with such an important role as the first seater of the first violinists. That's why…" Stopping, Hihara felt his heart bled as he clenched his fists tight. "That is why Kaho-chan, the request I made earlier…please pretend it never happened."
Although Hihara's voice toward the end of the sentence was soft, hardly audible, still to Kahoko it felt like a lightning had hit her. Hearing her own voice shaking, Kahoko replied. "Tsukimori-kun and I…we are not…" Unable to continue further, Kahoko apologised. "I am sorry, I…I suddenly remembered something, I…I will be back later." Before Hihara could stop her, Kahoko ran quickly out the room frightened Hihara would see her tears.
"Kaho-chan!" Hihara stood up from where he was when he saw the look in Kahoko's eyes just before she ran out of the room. Self-hatred and frustration immediately flooded Hihara as he collapsed back into the seat. What had he done? How could he upset Kahoko like that?! No matter what happened, Kahoko had always smiled for him, and yet he managed to take that away from her!
Slowly taking out his mobile phone, Hihara felt his heart twitched in pain when he saw the sticker photo that Kahoko and he took when they went on their "first date." On the photo, Kahoko was smiling, she was happy…
When at this time, the door opened as a person entered the room.
As a reflex, Hihara immediately hid the phone behind him as he looked up quickly. However when he saw the face of the person, Hihara greeted with a weak smile, "Hi…Tsukimori."
"Good afternoon Hihara senpai," Not knowing the storm that occurred in the room before his entrance of course, Tsukimori greeted calmly as he placed the violin case gently on the table.
"Err…Tsukimori,' Hihara stuttered, his head remained low. "Did…did you see Kaho-chan on your way here?"
"Hino…?" Not showing any sign of emotions, Tsukimori replied simply. "No, I haven't."
"I see…" Hihara held onto his head in frustration. What had he done? How could he say that to Kahoko? Sinking his head deep into his hands, Hihara asked the questions again and again inside him.
"…Something happened?" Unstirred and without looking, Tsukimori calmly took the violin out of its case as he asked. To Tsukimori's surprise, Hihara suddenly stood up from where he was.
"I…I will go look for her!" Without wasting a single second there, Hihara ran quickly out the door after Kahoko.
Finally when it was no one left in the room, slowly Tsukimori turned around as his eyes also looked towards the door. Although he knew not what had happened before he entered the room, but from Hihara's reaction, Tsukimori knew it was related to Kahoko. Something had gone wrong, and Kahoko must have stormed out the door.
At this time, something on the chair caught Tsukimori's eyes. Walking up to it, Tsukimori found it to be a mobile phone. Although suspecting it probably was Hihara's property he had accidentally left behind, to be sure, Tsukimori picked it up.
Tsukimori sensed his heart ached when he saw the sticker photo on the back of the phone. On the photo, together with Hihara, Kahoko was smiling. It was so different to what Tsukimori remembered of Kahoko. Together with him, Kahoko did not smile, rather, she was weeping…
---
"Kaho, don't forget your lunchbox!"
"Okay!" Grabbing onto the lunch bag her mother handed to her, Kahoko ran quickly for the front door because she saw, from her bedroom window, that he was already here.
"Good morningi,"
The moment Kahoko stepped out the door, the tall, handsome youth greeted with a gentle smile as he calmly packed away the book he was reading.
"Sorry to have kept you waiting," Kahoko apologised quickly. "…Len."
After Tsukimori Len's confession to Hino Kahoko at Christmas, no longer just fellow members of the ensemble, Tsukimori and Kahoko was finally a couple. Hoping to spend as much time as possible with the girl he loves, Tsukimori suggested that he would from then on escort Kahoko to and fro from school.
Although it meant that Tsukimori had to get out of bed an hour earlier than usual, it did not matter. Being able to hear Kahoko greet him with a soft 'good morning', and having her walk next to him all the way to school, it was all worth it.
"So this is the view you see when you walk to school everyday," Tsukimori said softly. "It's nice to know now I will be able to share this view. See what you see everyday, experience and live the life from your perspective."
Blushing in bliss, Kahoko lowered her head and realised no words could come out for she was too overwhelmed with joy. Even on a freezing cold January morning, Kahoko felt her heart so warm.
As the pair walked on, Tsukimori took off his own gloves as he handed them to Kahoko. "Your hands must be cold. It's mid-winter and you do not have gloves on."
"But what about your hands? You will be cold too." Shaking her head Kahoko asked quickly.
"I am fine," smiling in response, Tsukimori replied. "Your hands are the hands of a great musician." Gently holding Kahoko's hand in his, Tsukimori helped Kahoko put on his own gloves. "As I expected, my gloves are too big for you."
Although Tsukimori's gloves were too big, but it only helped Kahoko to realise, although with fine, perfect feature, Tsukimori was after all a man. His big gloves that covered Kahoko's hands were like a sign that he too would be there to shield her, protect her and keep her warm.
When the two arrived at the school gate, with a sigh Tsukimori said. "It's a pity that the distance from your house to school is quite short. Not only so, the building of your faculty and mine are at different locations, we don't even have any classes together…"
Kahoko felt that she too did not want to be parted from Tsukimori so soon, unfortunately, knowing she was not a music faculty student like Tsukimori, there really weren't much time to spend together during school hours. With the thought, Kahoko suggested quickly. "In…in that case, Len, do you want to have lunch together? I packed two lunchboxes today, I thought we could eat together or something…"
To Kahoko's surprise, she noticed a shade of redness came onto Tsukimori's face. "You packed lunch for me?"
Lowering her head, Kahoko nodded in shyness. "Yes, that is if you don't mind eating lunch with me…"
"Of course not," In genuine happiness Tsukimori replied. "I will see you then."
Waving good-bye, Kahoko turned and walked off towards her building. However from the corner of her eyes, she noticed Tsukimori walking out the school gate. "Len?! Where are you going?"
"I am just going to go sit at the park for a while." Noticing the puzzled look on Kahoko's face, Tsukimori explained. "I know there isn't much time until class starts, but I need to go and cool my head down for a while." Stopping, in a softer tone, Tsukimori whispered. "My face is still hot, I can't go to class like this..."
Never expecting Tsukimori to say such a cute thing, Kahoko felt her heart all fuzzy and warm. Knowing running up and holding him tight would only make it harder for Tsukimori to "cool" down, Kahoko nodded in understanding and waved good-bye instead before she finally walked off to her classroom.
Throughout the entire morning, Kahoko would look up at the clock over and over again. After a period that felt like a century, finally when the lunchtime bell rang, Kahoko stood up from her seat and grabbed the lunch boxes.
"Ah, Hino-san. Going to lunch?" Calling out from beside her was Kaji Aoi.
"Yes, I am." Hoping to act as natural as possible, Kahoko replied with a smile.
"Is it okay if I join you?"
Kahoko could have sworn she sensed the smile froze on her face with Kaji's question. With a nervous laughter, Kahoko finally said. "Yeah…sure."
Unfortunately, Kaji was not the only person as when Kahoko and Kaji walked down the corridor towards the cafeteria, on came Tsuchiura. "Yo, Hino and Kaji. Going to lunch?"
---
Outwardly looking calm and cold as usual, Tsukimori made sure he looked like he was concentrating on the book in his hand although his eyes would constantly look towards the cafeteria entrance for someone.
The moment the familiar figure of the person he was waiting for walked through the entrance, the stern, stiff expressions on his face softened. However the frown returned immediately onto Tsukimori's face again when he noticed the group that rocked up together with Kahoko.
"Oh, hello, Tsukimori!"
"Hello, Tsukimori. It's rare to see you at the school cafeteria. Mind if we sit next to you?"
Trying to look as normal as possible, although the usual grimace on his face deepened, Tsukimori still greeted. "Good day, Hihara senpai, Yunoki senpai." Then moving his eyes to the other two boys Kaji and Tsuchiura, crossing his arms, Tsukimori let out a sigh.
"Hey, not that I want to eat lunch with you either." Irritated with Tsukimori's attitude, Tsuchiura groaned.
"Sorry…" Whispering softly in guilt, Kahoko seated down next to Tsukimori as the rest of the boys also joined them at the table.
"Ah, having a mini party? Mind if I join?" Popping out from behind them, Amou asked. Then waving to the two first years that just entered the cafeteria, Amou invited. "Shimizu-kun and Fuyumi-chan, over here!"
"Sorry…" Knowing their wonderful lunchtime together had turned into a crowded party, Kahoko apologised again.
"It's alright…" With another sigh Tsukimori whispered in return. "Tomorrow onwards, I will come find you instead…"
---
"Your violin skills really have improved," With an encouraging smile Tsukimori said to Kahoko. Although knowing he will soon leave for Vienna, still, both Kahoko and Tsukimori treasured the remaining time they had together. In diligence Tsukimori would assist Kahoko in her afternoon practice. Picking up his own violin, Tsukimori placed it on his shoulder as he instructed. "The quick change between bar 58 to 60 would be easier if you switch your fingers this way."
Kahoko watched in admiration when the same melody she played a few minutes ago came out from Tsukimori's performance a hundred times better and more skilled. Placing her own violin against her shoulder too, Kahoko tried to play the music once again in the new skill Tsukimori just taught her. To her joy, the melody that was produced was now more smooth and soft.
"I did it!" In joy Kahoko turned to Tsukimori. "I didn't know just by changing the order of how my fingers move could affect how smooth the rest of the melody would follow."
"There are a lot more techniques and skills you have not yet learned. Although they may be basic, but practicing the techniques over and over will help you play any piece easier." Unlike how he was towards anyone, Tsukimori explained patiently to Kahoko.
Knowing Tsukimori was never a person that would waste his precious practice time on anyone, yet day after day, Tsukimori would accompany her after school, train and teach her the basic techniques and skills that Kahoko never knew. Unlike everyone else, Kahoko never had a teacher that taught her how to play the violin. It was only after spending time with Tsukimori like this, for the first time Kahoko understood why Tsukimori spend so much of his time practicing, for there was much to learn.
Smiling in tenderness to Kahoko's accomplishment, Tsukimori suggested. "Let's try it again from the beginning, this time, I will be the piano accompaniment for you. This will help you better grasp the mood and feeling of this piece."
Following his sentence, Tsukimori seated himself in front of the grand piano in the practice room. Kahoko watched even more in amazement when she saw Tsukimori's fingers that produced the beautiful melody on the violin a while ago now performed a magical and beautiful tune on the piano.
Closing her eyes, Kahoko allowed her fingers and bow to move along the violin as a most beautiful music was produced together with Tsukimori. It was totally different compared to when she practiced with her piano accompaniment. Like how they performed the violin duets together, Kahoko discovered her music and Tsukimori's music harmonised so perfectly. Knowing Tsukimori's main instrument was not piano; Kahoko felt her respect for him grew.
At the end of the song, with a sigh Kahoko put down her violin, "It's amazing you could play the piano so perfectly too."
"It is no miracle for music students like me to know how to play more than one instrument." Calmly Tsukimori replied. "Yunoki senpai also knew how to play the piano, Hihara senpai knew how to play the drum, and Ousaki senpai could play piano and viola too."
"Really?!" In astonishment Kahoko called. "How is that humanly possible?"
"Of course it is," Tsukimori explained. "It is a requirement for any music major student to know at least two instruments."
Nodding Kahoko replied. "I remembered Yunoki senpai told me the same thing as well. He mentioned that if I was to continue onto the Music Faculty in Seiso University, I have to know at least another instrument other than violin." With a sigh, Kahoko added. "If I had known, I should have said yes when he offered to teach me piano. Now there is only one year to go, I might not be able to make it."
The frown came onto Tukimori's face with what Kahoko said. "Yunoki senpai offered to teach you piano?"
"Yes, he even gave me all his old piano books."
Tsukimori kept silent for a while but the look of unpleasantness remained on his beautiful face. In cautiousness Kahoko asked, "What's wrong, Len?"
"Nothing," With a sigh Tsukimori replied. "Are you free this Saturday?"
"Yes, of course."
"Would you like to come over to my house?" A shade of redness came onto Tsukimori's face as he asked softly, embarrassment shown. In a soft lower voice, Tsukimori added. "I will teach you piano, so you don't need Yunoki senpai to teach you…"
Wait? Is Len jealous? Kahoko couldn't believe her ears when a person like Tsukimori, someone who never reveals his emotions to people would make a possessive statement like that. Feeling her heart so warm and joyful, uncontrollably a blissful smile came onto Kahoko's face as she nodded. "I understand."
---
"Ara, Hino-chan, good morning." Opening the door to the massive Tsukimori mansion was a beautiful lady that has the same beautiful eyes as her son Tsukimori Len.
"Good…good morning!" Not expecting Tsukimori's mother to be the one opening the door, Kahoko bowed quickly as she greeted with nervousness. With an understanding and beautiful, kind smile, Tsukimori's mother, Hamai Misa iiinvited Kahoko into the house. "Nice to have you come visit, Len should have invited you earlier."
"Kahoko," Standing behind Hamai Misa was Tsukimori himself. Different to how Kahoko knew him at school, not in his school uniform anymore, Tsukimori wore a pair of beige pants and a blue knitted top. Kahoko felt her heartbeat increased when she finally discovered that she had stepped into Tsukimori's personal space, his family, and his home. Although this was not the first time Kahoko visited his house, last time she came with Tsuchiura and Hihara returning Tsukimori's school blazer. However, this time, Kahoko knew it was different.
Seeing Kahoko and Len's expression, Hamai Misa smiled secretly in perceptiveness. Although her son had not mentioned a word about his relationship with Kahoko, but to a mother, it was not hard to see what progress her son had made with Kahoko. Most of all, throughout her son's life, not once had he invited a friend over, so Hamai Misa knew immediately how important Kahoko was to her son, Len.
Noticing the smile on his mother's face, Tsukimori turned and explained. "Kahoko and I will be practicing piano in my room. She had decided to enter the music faculty of Seiso University, so she would like to learn another instrument."
"I am sure you will be a good teacher, Len." With a beautiful smile, Hamai Misa replied. Turning to Kahoko, she added. "I also have some piano lesson books that Len used to use when he was a child, I will ask Len to hand them to you too." Knowing her presence will only make Kahoko more nervous and embarrassed, Hamai Misa left the two youngsters to be.
When they were finally alone, gently reaching out his hand, Tsukimori held Kahoko's tiny soft hand in his own as he led the way. "Let's go."
Kahoko's heartbeat was already rapid the moment she entered the Tsukimori residence, now feeling Len's big warm hands holding onto her own was making it worse. Despite that, Kahoko still hoped Tsukimori would not let go of her hand. She liked to hold hands with Tsukimori, it was always like a silent confirmation that he will protect her and he was beside her.
Every weekend and everyday after school, Kahoko would learn to play the piano in Tsukimori's bedroom. It first amazed Kahoko how Tsukimori's room was big enough for a piano, but Tsukimori explained since he would usually practice til late, his parents thought it would help if he had a piano in his own room.
Just as Hamai Misa said, Tsukimori turned out to be a very good teacher. It was amazing how he was so intolerant toward others, yet when he was with Kahoko, he taught her in a most clear, patient way. Only a month from her first piano lesson, already, Kahoko was able to play a few simple Bach pieces.
"Chopin?"
Nodding, Kahoko smiled as she pleaded. "I know it is still too hard for me to play Chopin's pieces, but I know Chopin songs were only meant for piano, and I have always loved them. And not being able to play them on the violin, I really wanted to be able to play it on the piano."
Walking up to the bookshelf, Tsukimori took a book off the shelf as he flipped to a page. "In that case, you can try this piece. Although it is one of the easier Chopin pieces, but you would still need to practice twice as hard to be able to master this piece."
"Thank you Len! Thank you so much!" In joy Kahoko immediately placed the music on the piano. Swallowing a big gulp of saliva, Kahoko discovered that it was indeed a lot harder than the Bach practice pieces she learned before.
"You play the right hand notes, and I will play the left hand with you." Sitting down on the long piano stool next to Kahoko, Tsukimori instructed. Although the piece may be a little too hard for Kahoko at the moment, but since Tsukimori assisted her in the left hand accompaniment, Kahoko managed to play the main melody in a slow yet smooth way.
To her joy, when Tsukimori's harmony joined Kahoko's main melody, a most famous and familiar tune was produced. Unable to believe that she was able to also perform a famous Chopin piece, Kahoko concentrated harder to make sure she wouldn't drag Tsukimori's left hand harmony down. Unfortunately, when she came to the next page, when the keys made a sudden change, Kahoko found it hard to follow.
"Here, use the second finger instead of the third, and you will be able to follow on." Gently, Tsukimori advised.
"The second instead of the third…" Kahoko repeated to herself as she tried to play the tune switching her fingers as Tsukimori instructed. Unfortunately, when she switched the fingers, Kahoko realised she had lost the rest of the flow.
"No, it's like this…"
To Kahoko surprise, Tsukimori's right arm came around her shoulder as he overlapped her hand with his own. Immediately Kahoko found her heart thumping hard and her face turning hotter when she felt Tsukimori's breathing right next to her. Not sure if Tsukimori knew the effect he had on Kahoko, Tsukimori moved Kahoko's fingers along the piano keys as he continued to explain. "Use the second finger here and now switch to the thumb and over to the second again…" Finally as if he also discovered how close the two bodies were against each other, Tsukimori stopped suddenly. Kahoko noticed that Tsukimori did not move away, but instead, his hand that was holding onto her own tightened.
Unable to make out a word, Kahoko found herself leaning deeper into Tsukimori's embrace responding to the heat that came from Tsukimori's body making her dizzy and taking away her consciousness.
It had been more than a month since they have become a couple, although both Tsukimori and Kahoko had tried to spend every moment together, but Tsukimori had always been a gentleman and never was he this close physically to Kahoko.
Tsukimori was surprised with his own action too when he held Kahoko's soft tiny body in his arms. Worried that he had frightened Kahoko, Tsukimori was about to quickly let go of her when totally unexpected, Kahoko responded and leaned deeper into his bosom. To make it worse, the slight natural fragrance that came through her hair, and the warmth from her soft tiny body transmitted directly onto his own, threw his remaining logic out the door.
Leaning down, Tsukimori's lips landed softly against Kahoko's soft cheek. To his horror, that soft little touch seemed to have released something more from within him as out of his control, he found his lips moving softly from Kahoko's cheek onto her forehead. In obedience and without any sign of struggle, Kahoko slowly closed her eyes as she allowed Tsukimori to kiss her so gently, so lovingly. As if the temperature in the room had suddenly heated up, and Tsukimori's kisses were like magic that took away her strength, Kahoko's fingers overlapped Tsukimori's that were on her hand as she allowed Tsukimori's lips to kiss her eyelids, and then finally…her lips.
When the two lips touched, Kahoko felt her body sinking, and time had stopped around her. No longer were their minds in control when Tsukimori and Kahoko responded to each other's kisses, longing to be closer, to be more intimate. Unnoticed Kahoko let out a soft sigh between the kisses when she discovered for the first time, how strong and passionate love could be. As if Tsukimori felt the same way, his arms held her tighter as he leaned in deeper, kissing Kahoko with the passion he never knew he had.
Just when Kahoko thought she was really about to faint from the heat and craze, she sensed Tsukimori left her lips. Holding her tightly in his arms, Tsukimori whispered gently and deeply, "I love you Kahoko..."
Although as usual Tsukimori did not say much, but upon such sincere tone, Kahoko felt tears filled her eyes as she also held Tsukimori tight. "Me too, Len. Originally I blamed Lili for bringing me into the music concur, but now I really thank him with all my heart. It was because of Lili, I have come to know music, and now, I have met you Len…"
Feeling his heart moved in great compassion with Kahoko's sweet confession, Tsukimori leaned down once again as he kissed Kahoko's forehead with love. Smiling in bliss, Kahoko closed her eyes and enjoyed the love only Tsukimori could give her.
Unfortunately, when Kahoko felt she was in heaven, and could not be happier, a thought popped into her head and made her shiver. But will this happiness last? The deeper you fall in now, the harsher it would be on the day when Len leaves for Vienna.
Noticing the soft tiny body in his arms shook a little, in concern Tsukimori asked. "Kahoko? What's wrong?"
Quickly shaking her head, Kahoko responded with a smile. "Nothing, nothing's wrong."
Although Kahoko said there was nothing wrong, from deep inside, Tsukimori kind of knew what Kahoko was thinking. When the thought of leaving her entered his mind, an indescribable pain and misery struck him. But why should he feel this way? When he made the decision to study abroad, he already knew such choice required his whole being.
Not knowing how long he would spend studying in Vienna, how could he ask Kahoko to sacrifice her future for him? As much as he desired after Kahoko, Tsukimori realised he could not ask her to wait for him. But was it really that bad to be selfish for once? Would Kahoko really despise him if he had asked her to wait for him?
With both their minds in such chaos and confusion, Kahoko and Tsukimori continued on normally in the next few weeks as they have always had. Hoping not to be reminded of the day when they finally had to be parted, neither of the two ever mentioned the topic again.
One Saturday morning, as usual Kahoko came to learn piano at Tsukimori's house. Opening the door to welcome her arrival was Hamai Misa again. Although by now Kahoko was not as nervous as when she visited for the first time, still with a quick polite bow Kahoko greeted. "Good morning, sorry to bother you again."
"Not at all, do come in." With an elegant smile, Hamai Misa invited Kahoko in. "Len is in his room, so just head straight up."
Feeling her cheeks turning hot in embarrassment, with a nod and shy smile, Kahoko headed up the stairs for Len's room. Knocking gently on the door, Kahoko called softly. "Len, it's me."
"Kahoko?" Tsukimori's voice came from inside. "Come in."
Opening the door, to Kahoko's surprise, she found cardboard boxes all over the room, and Tsukimori was standing in front of the bookshelves placing some books into one of the empty boxes.
"This is…?"
"I am just packing," While looking through his bookshelf Tsukimori explained. "Since I do not know how long I will be in Vienna, so I am not sure what things I will need."
Sensing a prick in her heart, Kahoko asked, "You know your departure date already?"
Tsukimori did not answer Kahoko's question. Silently putting the books in his hand into the box, Tsukimori finally gave a nod. As if a lightning struck her, Kahoko felt darkness came upon her. Although knowing this day will eventually come, but when it actually happened, it was a harsher blow than Kahoko had ever imagined.
"Wh…when…what is the date?"
"Next Wednesday…" Tsukimori replied softly as if it will also ease the pain in both their hearts. Noticing how pale and white Kahoko's face had become, Tsukimori walked up to her. "Kahoko, I…"
"Wow, so soon!" To Tsukimori's surprise Kahoko interrupted with a big smile. "In that case I guess there isn't much time left to pack. Need a hand?"
Seeing Kahoko's reaction, Tsukimori kept quiet. Maybe it was best not to talk about it. Tsukimori had a feeling that both of them were not ready to face it yet. Although both Kahoko and Tsukimori conversed normally as if nothing had happened, Kahoko helping Tsukimori pack away the boxes, help him decide what to take and what not, there was an awkwardness travelling in the air.
"We have run out of sticky tape." Kahoko said as she helped sealed up on of the boxes.
Standing up from where he was, Tsukimori said. "I will go get some more from my father's office downstairs."
After Tsukimori left the room, Kahoko let out a deep breath as she closed her eyes. She must smile, she must not become a burden for Len. Len had mentioned already that to him, music requires his whole being, and therefore he was ready to study abroad and pursue music despite the sacrifices.
While Kahoko was still trying to convince herself to stay strong, she saw a few rolls of sticky tapes covered underneath one of the books. Knowing that they actually have more sticky tapes here already, Kahoko went out the door after Tsukimori to call him back.
"Len, have you really set your mind now to go to Vienna? What about Hino-chan?" As Kahoko walked along the corridor, she heard Hamai Misa's voice. Since her name was mentioned, as a reflex Kahoko stopped moving and stood still while she listened on.
"Kahoko is…" Kahoko heard Tsukimori replied, after a pause, he added. "I have made up my mind to pursue music further in Vienna before I have met her. So her presence will not interfere with my study."
Although Tsukimori's voice was calm and cold as usual, to Kahoko it was like thunder that hit her head on. Although she knew Tsukimori always had an absolute and determined attitude towards music, but it was devastating to know that her presence meant nothing to him. She had hoped that maybe somehow and somewhere within Tsukimori, she would be as important to him as he was to her. Not wanting to hear anymore cruel words, Kahoko ran quickly back into Tsukimori's bedroom. Not knowing that Kahoko was outside of course, the two people continued the conversation.
With a sigh, Hamai Misa shook her head. "No Len, that's not what I meant. I have no doubt that you will concentrate on your study abroad. But have you left Hino-chan any promise?" In an even tender tone, Hamai Misa added. "You are my son, Len. I know you have never bothered to waste time or emotions on anything else other than music. However in the past few days, I could tell how much she means to you. I am sure even if you have gone to Europe, your heart will think of her every single day right?"
Tsukimori did not respond knowing her mother was right. He had known Kahoko, captivated by her in every way; there never could be another girl that would mean as much to him as Kahoko ever could. Finally with a sigh, Tsukimori replied. "Kahoko is…she is not like me. My whole life had been just music, the same thing after another, day after day. I could live with loneliness but I cannot place the same requirement on her. She will need someone to protect her, be there with her when she is happy, be there for her when she is upset. But since I am in another country, how could I be that person?"
"Len…"
"I have nothing more to say." Not wanting to dwell further on this topic, Tsukimori gave his mother a nod as he left the room. Closing his eyes, Tsukimori let out a deep sigh. Maybe in everyone's eyes, he was a cruel, heartless person. But he knew, this was the best for Kahoko. If he could not be there for her, he must not place the burden and restraint on her future.
Returning to his room, he found Kahoko sealing up another box. Upon his return, she smiled. "I found some more sticky tapes in your room, so I just went ahead sealed up another box for you."
"Thank you," Sitting down on the floor next to Kahoko, Tsukimori helped placed pressure on the box so it would be easier for Kahoko to seal the box. When suddenly, Tsukimori noticed droplets of tears rolled down Kahoko's beautiful face as the tears landed drop by drop onto the box.
"Kahoko…??"
Unable to pretend anymore, Kahoko broke into tears as she sobbed. "I can't do it anymore, Len…I can't…" Covering her face Kahoko wept bitterly. "I am so sorry…Len, I can't go on like this. If you are not beside me, I will feel insecure, doubting whether you have forgotten about me. I can't imagine spending days thinking about you not knowing whether you will return to me…"
Tsukimori did not know what to say as he felt his heart tore into pieces seeing Kahoko weeping so bitterly. He had known that no matter what happened, even when all the strings broke on her violin in the middle of the concur, even when everyone attacked her of her music, Kahoko never shed a tear. She always worked harder, endeavouring to smile for others. How ironic that it was him that finally broke Kahoko. He was supposed to be the man that protects her from harm, yet he was the man that caused Kahoko to weep like this.
"I am sorry, Kahoko."
Kahoko's whole body jumped when she heard Tsukimori apologised. Looking away, Tsukimori whispered trying his best to endure the indescribable pain within him. "I did not know I hurt you so badly…if I," Secretly taking a deep breath Tsukimori finally said. "If I am not the person to make you smile, I am sure there will be another."
Tears once again flooded down Kahoko's face with Tsukimori's words. No, this was not the kind of things she wanted to hear from him. She only wanted to know that Tsukimori would miss her and think of her while he was in Vienna. It did not matter how long she had to wait, as long as she knew Tsukimori loves her, she was willing. Unfortunately Tsukimori did not give her the words she wanted hear, instead, with a soft sigh, Tsukimori whispered. "I will take you home now."
The entire walk back home was in silence. Although her heart was wounded in despair, Kahoko knew what she had to do. Just before Tsukimori turned to leave after he escorted to her front door, Kahoko stopped him.
"Len," Not able to look into his eyes, Kahoko said softly, for she had no more strength left. "I think it is best for the both of us if we do not contact each other anymore."
Tsukimori kept silent as he finally turned and gave Kahoko a smile. "I understand."
Returning to her bedroom, Kahoko collapsed onto the floor as once again tears rolled down her face like mad. Wrapping her legs with her arms, Kahoko locked herself in the room and wept for several hours. All she knew was, she had lost Len's love, and this pain within was unbearable.
There was also another that experienced the same agonising pain. After Kahoko ran inside the house, Tsukimori did not leave as he stood outside the house, just underneath Kahoko's bedroom window…
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Yes, three years ago, before he left for Vienna, that was Tsukimori's last memory of Kahoko. How she wept so bitterly before him pleading him not to contact her anymore. They were like strangers even until the day of his departure. As they never had classes together, and since they were both avoiding each other, there was no chance of seeing each other.
Well, it was better that way for Tsukimori anyway. Knowing how deeply he had hurt Kahoko, how could he face her? Returning once again to Japan with his teacher Maestro Schinkle this time, Tsukimori was glad to see Kahoko smile again. He was glad that because he had not contacted her, he had not bothered her, she could be happy again. From what Amou said last night at the party, and from both Hihara and Kahoko's expressions, he knew it was Hihara that could give Kahoko what he could not.
Holding Hihara's phone tightly in his hand, Tsukimori knew what to do. Walking out the door, he found Hihara still running all over the place looking for Kahoko. "Hihara senpai,"
Hihara held onto his head in frustration when he saw Tsukimori approached him. "I can't find Kaho-chan, she must be very upset."
"I am sure any misunderstandings between the both of you will be solved." Tsukimori replied as he handed the phone to Hihara. "I believe this is yours?"
With Tsukimori's question, Hihara blushed and panicked immediately when he remembered that there was the sticky photo of him and Kahoko on it, and Tsukimori must have seen it! "Ah, Tsukimori, you saw the sticker photo right? That…well, that was, I mean,"
"You do not need to explain, Hihara senpai." Without showing any emotion, Tsukimori interrupted. "It is none of my business who you take sticker photo with."
Not expecting that response from Tsukimori, Hihara stopped all of a sudden. "What? You mean, you didn't mind that Kaho-chan…"
"Hihara senpai," Tsukimori stopped Hihara before he went on further. "I am here to assist my teacher to ensure this major production would be successful. I do not have time to waste minding people's business."
A little shocked with how cold Tsukimori was, Hihara asked in anger. "You are saying that you do not care about Kaho-chan at all? After all these time, after how you have hurt her, you are just going to pretend nothing ever happened?!"
His face still stern and cold, Tsukimori replied. "Nothing ever happened. And if there was nothing else, I need to return to practice." Before he turned and walked away, Tsukimori added. "Don't forget that both you and Hino need to show for the practice too. Do not be late."
Hihara felt anger aroused within at how heartless Tsukimori was towards Kahoko. Immediately a courage that Hihara did not know he had whirled up in him as he called out to Tsukimori. "If that is the kind of heart you have towards her, then you do not deserve her!"
Although sensing a pricking pain in his heart with what Hihara said, not letting the slightest sign show on his face, Tsukimori walked off pretending he did not hear any of it. That is right, he knew he never deserved her, for how could someone that makes Kahoko weep so miserably like that ever be her match…?
i This going to school together was an actual event from the game Kiniro no Corda 2.
ii Tsukimori Len's mother Hamai Misa is a famous world class pianist. She was Tsuchiura's inspiration and idol, and as mentioned in chapter 2, she was also Urahara Miyako, Yunoki's fiancee's piano teacher