Hino Kahoko could not believe she chose snowboarding until she actually held one in her arms. Looking around her, Kahoko suddenly realised she was definitely the odd one out. Not to mention how everyone skilfully locked their feet onto the board and as if they were flying, slid and hop they went down the ski field, whereas other than making sure the board doesn't fall off her hands, Kahoko had not the faintest idea what to do next.
Unlike her however, the tall handsome youth with magical green eyes stood confidently next to her as he comforted noticing the doubts in Kahoko's eyes. "Don't worry, Hino-san. Learning how to snowboard is like learning how to ride a bike. Once you get the hang of it, you would be able to do it with your eyes closed."
"Kaji-kun, I am really not sure if I should go straight into snowboarding, I mean, I have only skied for a few times, and I was not particularly great at that either…" Taking another look at the big board in her arms, Kahoko felt herself turning into a gutless chicken.
"Don't worry, Hino-san." Responding with a gentle warm smile, Kaji said. "I will teach you how to snowboard. Instead of looking at how the other people did it, we will spend the whole day today learning how to stand on the snowboard."
"Stand?" A little surprised with what Kaji said, Kahoko took another look at her board. "It takes a day just to learn how to stand on the snowboard?"
Just when Kahoko thought Kaji was underestimating her ability, she immediately understood what Kaji was referring to the moment her feet were locked onto the board. Trying to stand up from the ground, realising how she was unable to keep her balance because both her feet were locked dead onto the board, with a scream, Kahoko fell forward immediately.
"It's alright, I got you." Chuckling, Kaji held onto Kahoko.
Not expecting to fall right into Kaji's arms like one of those useless heroines Kahoko remembered reading from storybooks, and most of all, to her horror, Kahoko found her heart beating so fast being so close to Kaji.
Maybe it was because the supporting strength that came through Kaji's arms reminded her that he had strong toned arms, or maybe it was because standing so close, Kahoko could see how long his eyelashes were, and that he was truly beautiful, and in the middle of this icy cold surrounding, it felt really nice to lie in a man's arms.
No, wait! What was she thinking?? In shock, Kahoko pulled herself hastily away from Kaji. Unfortunately, Kahoko had forgotten that her feet were still pinned onto the snowboard, losing her balance once again, Kahoko fell right onto her bottom.
"Ouch..." Although it was soft snow she fell on, Kahoko still moaned feeling her backside numb.
"Hino-san, are you alright?" Crouching down next to Kahoko, Kaji asked in concern.
"Yes...yes, I am fine!" Unable to face Kaji because of her own created romantic imagination a moment back, Kahoko replied quickly. "I, I will try to stand up again!" Following her sentence, with all methods she could think of, Kahoko struggled back onto her feet. Horribly, the moment Kahoko stood up straight, against her will, she sensed the force of gravity pushing her forward right into Kaji's bosom.
"I am so sorry!" Kahoko wished there was a hole she could hide in. She bet that in Kaji's eyes, it looked like she had done that on purpose.
"No, it's okay." Chuckling, Kaji comforted as he held onto Kahoko's arms to help her keep her balance. "It is normal for people to fall backwards and forwards when they try the snowboard for the first time."
"I find it hard to believe that you ever went through this, Kaji-kun." Kahoko laughed for she could never imagine Kaji in her miserable position.
"Of course I did," laughing too Kaji replied. "I just made sure no one else was around me when I tried it."
Trying to feel the stability with the help of her arms, Kahoko said. "Alright, I think I got my balance, so you can let go now."
"You're sure?" A little worried, Kaji asked.
"Yup, I think I can feel it." Although she felt some slight forces going forwards and backwards, but like riding the bike, Kahoko felt she could control it. However, the moment Kaji let go, Kahoko felt her control left with him too as with a scream she fell right into Kaji's arms again.
"This is really embarrassing..." Kahoko sighed.
Unlike her, Kaji did not seem bothered at all as he continued to smile. "It's alright; we have an entire weekend to learn how to snowboard. You will eventually pick it up."
Blushing with what Kaji said, Kahoko lifted her head and apologised. "I am so sorry, Kaji-kun. You know what? You don't need to waste your time here with me. Just go ahead and have fun, I will be able to learn how to stand on my own."
"Fufu...but I am already having fun, Hino-san." Kaji said sincerely as he helped Kahoko once again to stand still. Seriously, how could he not be having fun? Kaji felt he had won the lottery when Kahoko decided to try snowboarding. To him, it was like she had made a choice to spend time with him instead of the other suitors. Maybe it was selfish of him to think so, but he had hoped that Kahoko would not pick up snowboarding fast so she would continue to depend on him like this.
---
"I did it!!" raising her arms up into the sky, Kahoko felt like she could cry when finally, without Kaji holding onto her, and without falling back onto her bottom, she stood firm on the snowboard.
"Well done, Hino-san." Kaji applauded for Kahoko's achievement. "Starting from tomorrow, we will learn how to break and turn."
"Tomorrow? We are not learning that now?" It was not until Kaji said that did Kahoko realise that the sun had already set, and she seriously and honestly took an entire day just to learn how to stand on the board. Feeling really guilty, Kahoko took a look at Kaji's snowboard that lay so lonely beside them. "Oh, but Kaji-kun, you did not have fun at all today. Just go ahead and have a last run before we return to the resort for dinner. I will wait for you down here."
"Are you sure?" Kaji asked.
"Of course," Nodding, Kahoko chuckled. "Besides, I am dying to see you on the snowboard. Prove to me that snowboarding means more than falling forwards and backwards all day."
"Fufu...okay. Hopefully it will regain your interest in snowboarding." Turning to his own snowboard, after locking his feet onto it, unlike Kahoko, without a single struggle, Kaji stood up straight.
Seeing that, Kahoko sighed. "Geez Kaji-kun, you really made me look bad."
Laughing, Kaji waved goodbye as skilfully he moved his way to the lifts. After Kaji left, Kahoko finally freed her sore feet from the board and sat down on the snow. After about a few minutes, Kahoko saw a very skilled snowboarder skiing down the hill fast and swift.
"Wow, check that guy out!" Kahoko heard the people beside her called out. From the clothing, Kahoko recognised immediately that the snowboarder was Kaji.
For the next few minutes, Kahoko thought she saw magic as Kaji flipped and literally flew his way down the steep ski field so amazingly that Kahoko could not keep her eyes off him. Finally with a smooth sharp turn, Kaji stopped right before Kahoko as the people around applauded Kaji for his stunning performance. However Kahoko did not respond as she continued to keep her eyes on Kaji, captivated with how handsome and intrepid he was just like the day she saw him compete on the tennis court.
"Hino-san?" Noticing Kahoko's blank stare, Kaji called as he took the goggles off his face in case she did not recognise him.
"Ah, hi!" Finally realising that she had been so rude by staring at Kaji, Kahoko cleared her throat quickly and said. "That was stunning, Kaji-kun! I am so envious of you."
"Fufu...don't worry, Hino-san. You will be able to do it too." Beaming beautifully Kaji encouraged. "Shall we return to the resort? I believe we are both very hungry by now."
Nodding, Kahoko followed Kaji as they returned to the resort. However, Kahoko could not help but notice all the other girls awing and admiring Kaji as they leave the ski field. Kahoko knew Kaji had always been extremely popular with girls, and she had no trouble finding that out when she went to attend Kaji's tennis match. Yet, for the first time Kahoko discovered, all the admiring focuses were starting to bother her.
---
"Dinner was delicious." Amou rubbed her tummy in fulfilment as they all sat down at the private lounge reserved just for Yunoki and friends. Relaxing on the soft couch with the fireplace lit right before them, this trip was not only lavish but also romantic somehow.
"So did you have fun today?" Tsuchiura asked Kahoko as both he and Kahoko were at the mini bar making a nice warm cup of hot chocolate.
Laughing dryly Kahoko gave a sigh, "I was on snowboarding all day today. It would be fun if I knew how to stay on the board."
Laughing, Tsuchiura teased. "I guess you wouldn't have much of a luck considering you were never that athletic."
Blushing, Kahoko puffed her cheeks in complaint. "Yes I know I am not as athletic like you, but still, I bet if you had tried it, you would too fall flat on your bottom!"
"Sounds like you spent all day falling onto your bottom," Tsuchiura laughed even more. "I feel for poor Kaji. I bet he didn't have much of a fun except helping you stand all day."
Kahoko blushed even more knowing Tsuchiura was dead on. At the same time, Kahoko felt guilty that she had wasted an entire day for Kaji. With the thought, Kahoko took out another mug and decided that the least she could do was make him a nice cup of hot chocolate.
Returning to the lounge, Kahoko found Tsukimori reading on the couch, Yunoki and Ousaki were having a normal conversation, but Kaji was nowhere to be found. Approaching Amou, Kahoko asked. "Amou-chan, have you seen Kaji-kun?"
"I think he is out on the veranda." Amou replied whilst keeping her eyes on the magazine she was reading. "Not sure why he would rather be out there in the cold than to be in here enjoying the nice cosy fireplace."
With Amou's answer, Kahoko smiled in understanding as she opened the back sliding door that leads onto the porch. Just as Amou described, the moment Kahoko sensed the freezing cold wind brushing against her face, she found Kaji sitting comfortably on the outdoor couch, wrapped in a large woollen blanket.
"Hino-san? What made you join me in this cold?" Upon Kahoko's appearance, a stunning joyful smile painted Kaji's handsome face.
"Well," Approaching, Kahoko handed Kaji the mug of hot chocolate she had prepared for him. "I thought you might like this."
Never expecting the girl of his dreams to make a cup of hot chocolate for him, Kaji wrapped his hands tightly around the mug, just like the comfortable touch of his freezing cold hands against the heated cup, his heart felt really warm too that he had forgotten to say thanks.
Not knowing the thoughts inside Kaji of course, Kahoko seated down next to Kaji as she took a sip of the hot chocolate from her own cup. "Wow, it is really cold out here, but kind of nice and refreshing."
"Oh here," Pulling himself together, Kaji took the woollen blanket off and wrapped it quickly around Kahoko.
"But then you will be freezing," Kahoko shook her head and returned the blanket to Kaji.
"In that case," Knowing there is no point pushing the blanket back and forth; Kaji placed the large blanket around them both. "I guess we can share."
With her body right next to Kaji, sharing the same woollen blanket, for some reason Kahoko no longer felt cold. It was like the heat from Kaji's body transmitted subtly onto her own, and although the icy cold breeze was still blowing onto her face, she had only sensed her cheeks burning.
"So, so how come you are out here by yourself?" Trying to act normal Kahoko asked.
"I am looking at the stars." Kaji replied softly turning to the starry sky. "Different from the city, here in the mountains of Hokkaido, you can see it so much clearer."
Looking up too into the sky, Kahoko's eyes widened in astonishment, "Oh wow, it is so beautiful!" Indeed, it was like what Kaji said, even better than when he took her to a romantic outdoor dinner under the stars. Sinking gently onto the couch, Kahoko was really starting to enjoy spending her night here in the cold too. "Kaji-kun, do you have any more constellation stories to tell?"
"Of course," Most willingly Kaji responded to his girl's request. "Let me start with the one relating to that set of stars over there."
As Kahoko listened on to the enchanting myths spoken from Kaji's gentle tender voice, once again Kahoko sensed peace and serenity just being with Kaji. How long had it been since she felt so safe and protected like this? Not needing to think too much, but just be simple and appreciate all the wonderful things that were around her.
However, just when Kahoko was appreciating the tranquillity and beauty of nature, she noticed Kaji suddenly stopped talking as his body leaned into her own. Unsure if Kaji did it intentionally or not, Kahoko did not know how to react whether to move away or pretend she did not notice and just let it be.
To Kahoko's surprise, not sure what had gotten into Kaji as it appeared, instead of leaning closer to her, Kaji's body fell right on top of her as he pinned her down onto the couch.
"Ka, Ka, Ka, Ka, Ka, Kaji-kun?? What...what are you...? Wait, wait, Kaji-kun!!" In horror Kahoko startled feeling her heartbeat thumping so hard with Kaji's sudden outrageous action.
---
Kahoko is not here in the lounge.
Yunoki noticed it a long time ago as a displeased frown came onto his perfect stunning face. It already bothered him that she had decided to spend an entire day snowboarding with Kaji, and yet, for some unknown reason, Kahoko and Kaji were both again missing from the lounge room.
"Amou-san," Calmly with a smile Yunoki approached Amou Nami. "Have you seen Hino-san?"
"Oh, I think she is on the veranda with Kaji." Tilting her head Amou replied. Then with a grin she added. "They have been out there for a while actually; maybe we should not disturb them?"
Not disturb them? Yunoki cursed within. He did not plan this ski trip so Kaji could make his move on Kahoko. However, still maintaining his beautiful smile of course, Yunoki replied. "I am just worried they both might catch a cold staying out there for so long."
Unfortunately Amou did not pick up on Yunoki's true intention as she joked. "I am sure they both were willing to catch a cold for it."
From the other side of the room, Tsukimori although kept his eyes on the book he was reading, Yunoki and Amou's conversation entered word by word into his head. Secretly moving his eyes onto the sliding door that he remembered seeing Kahoko opening a while ago, Tsukimori felt his heart ached recollecting the night when he saw Kaji confessed to Kahoko.
"I am sure they wouldn't mind catching a cold together," Making sure he was still smiling Yunoki chuckled with Amou's joke. "I will just go see if they want some more hot drink or some more blankets to keep warm."
"Wait, wait, what, what, what are you...Ka, Ka, Kaji-kun?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
As Yunoki turned to head for the sliding door, to everyone's surprise they heard Kahoko screamed at the same time. Knowing the tone of Kahoko's voice did not sound normal, everyone in the room exchanged a look as the same thought hit them—did Kaji just attacked Kahoko?
With the thought, even Tsukimori put down the book he was reading as all got up from where they were and ran straight for the veranda.
"Hino-chan??" Running onto the balcony Amou called quickly. "Are you okay?"
Instead of the Kaji attacking Kahoko image they had in their minds, when everyone arrived at the balcony, they saw Kahoko kneeling on the floor as her arms wrapped tightly around Kaji. Lifting her head, fear and panic were shown in her eyes as she sobbed. "Please, someone help, Kaji-kun is, Kaji-kun is..." Not able to put together a proper sentence Kahoko's eyes turned to look at the man in her arms again as terror took over.
Not sure what had happened, everyone's eyes landed on Kaji when they saw, Kaji had collapsed on the floor, his breathing heavy and rapid, his eyes opened but it did not appear he was seeing.
"Hello? Can you send an ambulance over immediately?" Yunoki was the first person to respond as he took out his phone and called for help immediately. Despite the fact he was cursing Kaji a while ago, Yunoki knew when it was time to do the right thing.
Kahoko watched in panic as the ambulance showed up, after some kind of emergency procedure, a helicopter arrived because according to the medical staff, Kaji's condition was critical and needed to be flown to a major hospital.
"Can, can you please tell me what is happening to him?" Shaking, Kahoko approached one of the medical staff. "Is he going to be okay...?"
"We are unsure of the cause yet, but there seems to be a failure in his peripheral nervous system." The staff replied giving Kahoko an answer that although did not make sense but indicated the severity of Kaji's condition.
"A what system?" Amou interrupted. "Can you please explain in a way we can understand?"
"It basically means due to the attack on his peripheral nervous system, his brain was unable to smoothly send signals to his nervous systems and therefore caused his whole body to be severely paralysed." Patiently the medical staff explained.
"Paralysed?" Kahoko took a deep breath with the word. All of a sudden, Kahoko recalled the incidents where Kaji accidentally dropped his tennis racquet, or how he was making odd mistakes in the middle of the orchestra practice.
"We have to leave now!" Before the medical staff could explain further, another staff called out from the front of the helicopter.
With a nod, the medical staff that was talking to Kahoko left quickly leaving her in fear and confusion as she watched the helicopter took off causing a wave on the snowfield that was once peaceful and beautiful.
---
It has been a week already; Kahoko had not seen Kaji after that night when she watched him collapse. Due to the startling incident, the ski trip was cut short as the group returned to Yokohama with heavy hearts. It was worse for Kahoko because she was with Kaji when it happened. Although it was a week ago, Kahoko could still vividly remember the detail, and the pain and discomfort that was going through Kaji as Kahoko held him in her arms.
She remembered wanting to help Kaji but there was nothing she could do. She knew he had wanted to say something but he was unable to express it. Returning from the ski trip, Kahoko learned that Kaji's family had taken over the situation and hospitalised him in the major hospital owned by the family.
To her horror, the moment she went to the hospital, the entire place was swamped with the media. Apparently as the only son to the famous Senator, Kaji Aoi's sickness was no longer a personal matter. Not wanting his son's personal life to be published all over the country, the Senator had placed a strict order that only hospital staff were allowed anywhere near his son's ward. As a 'nobody', Kahoko therefore had no chance of visitation, and as any news on Kaji Aoi's condition was closed, Kahoko felt she was left out in the cold.
"Some of you were already aware that due to illness, Mr Kaji Aoi will no longer be performing with us in the Yokohama Symphony Orchestra." With a saddened voice Maestro Schinkel said. Turning to another youth he added. "Mr Moriyama, you would be taking over the position of head of viola from now on."
With Maestro Schinklel's announcement, Kahoko felt her heart sank even deeper into despair. It was all her fault; she had already seen the symptoms but how come she never picked it up? Maybe if she had noticed earlier, Kaji's sickness might not have gotten to this stage!
"Are you going to the hospital again, Hino-san?" Ousaki asked when he saw Kahoko packing her things immediately at the end of the rehearsal.
"Yes, although they still might not let me see him today, but I will keep trying." Squeezing out a smile Kahoko replied.
Unfortunately when Kahoko arrived at the hospital, as expected, the security guards immediately sent her away. "Please, I am not some suspicious person, I am Kaji Aoi's friend and I really need to know whether he is okay!" In plead Kahoko gave another bow in sincerity.
"No, we cannot let you through." Unmoved the security guard said.
"Please, I really need to know..." Feeling tears forming in her eyes Kahoko sobbed. "I was there next to him when he collapsed, he was suffering terribly at the time, I just...I just wanted to know if he feels better now...please..."
"I am sorry, but we were given strict orders that only his family was allowed to visit him." A little softened the security guard gave a sigh.
"What's going on here?"
When at this time, a deep voice appeared from behind Kahoko. Turning to the voice, Kahoko saw a middle-aged gentleman with emerald green eyes, and there was this aura of power he carried.
"Kaji sensei!" The security guard bowed immediately in respect upon the appearance of the gentleman. "This girl insisted on visiting Aoi-sama...I am just sending her away."
With the security guard's reaction, Kahoko learned immediately the tall authoritative looking gentleman was Kaji's father. Hastily with a bow too Kahoko explained. "Sorry, sorry to cause such a fuss, my name is Hino Kahoko. I am a friend of Kaji-kun, I, I was with him when he collapsed so, I really would like to know if he is okay..."
"So you are Hino Kahoko..." To Kahoko's surprise, the man walked up to her as his eyes examined her.
"Yes…yes." In extreme nervousness Kahoko lowered her head and nodded.
"Very well, I will let you see him." Finally with a warm smile that resembles his son Aoi, the elder gentleman consented. "Follow me."
Upon the consent, Kahoko was overwhelmed with joy as with another bow, Kahoko followed quickly after Kaji's father. When they came before the ward, Kaji's father turned to Kahoko once again, this time there was a most serious look on his face.
"Before you enter, there is one thing you must know." Looking straight at the young girl before him, the elder said. "Men are strange creatures with stubborn pride. Before the girl they love, they have only wanted the best of them to be shown. Knowing Aoi at his prime time, would you still care for him after you see his current condition?"
"I," A little surprised with what Kaji's father said, Kahoko lowered her head and replied. "I know Kaji-kun is a very attractive person, but to me, he was more than that. I am not sure how to best put it, but I know he is my very special friend, and no matter what happens to him, I will never forget that."
"I am sure Aoi would love to hear that from you personally." Nodding, Kaji's father finally opened the door.
Entering the room, Kahoko was stunned with what she saw. Lying on the hospital bed was indeed Kaji, but it was nothing like how Kahoko had remembered of him. With a tube down his throat and many other instruments plugged into Kaji's body, that wonderful gentle smile Kahoko had remembered of Kaji was like a memory from a generation ago. Instead, there was a human body, merely kept alive by the advanced medical equipments.
Unable to handle the cruel scene before her, Kahoko covered her mouth as she whimpered in grief. "Kaji-kun…oh my god…"
"Due to the attack of his peripheral nerves system, his brain could no longer send signals to his body, paralysing all the muscles in his body including the heart and lungs. Without the machines you see here, Aoi would have died." In a bitter voice, Kaji's father explained.
"Is…is there no cure?" Kahoko asked.
"The surgery is scheduled this Saturday, although we are unsure how successful it would be, but it is our only hope." His eyes fixed on his beloved son in sadness, the elder replied.
"Can, can I be there when the operation is carried out? I know there isn't much I could do, but I just wanted to be there for Kaji-kun." Wanting to be Kaji's support one way or another, Kahoko requested.
"It would be a long surgery though, could be for several hours." Touched with Kahoko's sincerity, Kaji's father was starting to understand the reason why his son was so attracted to this girl.
"I don't mind." Almost immediately Kahoko responded. "I will be here!"
Turning to his son who lay silently on the bed, the old man whispered. "Did you hear that? With her support, it would be embarrassing now for you to lose this battle..."
---
There was one important thing Kahoko forgot though. After the rehearsal today, Maestro Schinkel reminded everyone that the first dress rehearsal would be on Saturday, the same day Kaji was to have the operation. In fear and trembling Kahoko approached Maestro Schinkel and told him of the situation and asked to be excused for the day.
"No." Was the Maestro's simple answer. "Need I remind you that although a dress rehearsal, the tickets have already been sold to schools for excursions? It is the same as a full house open performance. As the head of the second violinists, Miss Hino, you must not be absent."
"But, Maestro..."
"If you do not show on the day, Miss Hino, there will be no more need for you to show for the rest of the production." Still in his strict unyielding voice, the Maestro warned.
Not knowing what to do, Kahoko felt her heart in a mess. She had promised Kaji that she would be there for him, although he may not be aware, but she felt he needed her support.
"Kaho-chan," Hihara saw the whole situation from where he was, although he was not present when Kaji became ill, as a friend, he too had been worried about Kaji's wellbeing. "Maybe you could try talking to Yunoki about it. Although Maestro said no, but as the project manager, he should be able to grant you the time off."
Knowing what Hihara suggested was a good idea, Kahoko immediately approached Yunoki. To Kahoko's surprise, after she had explained the situation to Yunoki, instead of the empathy she was expecting, Yunoki frowned as he asked coldly. "Why do you think Maestro Schinkel declined your request in the first place? Do you think he did it just to be mean?"
"Eh?"
Seeing the puzzled look on Kahoko's face, Yunoki sighed. "Or let me ask you from another angle. Why do you need to be there for the operation? Are you a medical staff? Is your presence going to make a difference to the medical procedure?"
"I, I..." Unable to answer any of Yunoki's questions, Kahoko lowered her head in shame. "I know there isn't anything I could do, but, but I," biting her lower lip in sadness Kahoko said, her voice thin. "I just know that I need to be there..."
Yunoki kept silent as he observed Kahoko. She was always like this, always wanted to be helpful not knowing her kindness could at the same time be cruel. Although knowing he would regret it, but Yunoki knew like in the past years, he needed to point her to the right direction.
"You need to be there?" Lifting his eyebrow in mocking, Yunoki asked. "Why? Because he collapsed before you so you felt responsible?"
"No, it's not about the responsibility..." Kahoko shook her head quickly. "Kaji is a very special friend, I couldn't..."
"Friendship?" Yunoki smirked when he heard what Kahoko said. "You are not Kaji's only friend, so what makes you so special that you need to be there?"
Kahoko became speechless upon Yunoki's cruel statement knowing although sharp and harsh, he was right. As one of Kaji's many friends, what made her so special? She knew Kaji has feelings for her, but what about her? If what existed between her and Kaji was only friendship, shouldn't she visit him during normal visiting hours bearing flowers and gifts?
"I will have a word with Maestro Schinkel to work out an arrangement." Knowing what he said had an effect on Kahoko, Yunoki gave a sigh. "But I certainly hope this day off was worth it."
"Thank you so much, Yunoki senpai." Although she still does not know the true reason why being there for Kaji was so important to her, Kahoko gave Yunoki a bow and thanked him with all her heart.
---
Just as Kaji's father said, the surgery went on for several hours. Kahoko sat silently outside the operating room with the same questions repeating in her mind. The questions Yunoki raised, asking her why was it so important to her that she is there for Kaji while he battled his illness? What was the reason she sat there for many hours, her heart and mind filled with the thoughts of Kaji, eagerly anticipating and hoping that she could just hear him speak, to see his kind gentle smile that always brought her peace. Even though his flattering words always made her blush, it did not matter. Kahoko discovered that she would give and do anything to have him make her blush again.
It was not until the doctor approached Kaji's parents did Kahoko finally pull her wondering mind back to reality.
"How is Aoi? Is he going to be okay?" Kaji's mother asked the one question everyone present was dying to know.
"We are not sure of the answer yet." The doctor replied as he gave a sigh. "We are keeping him in ICU under close watch until his condition shows improvement. I recommend that you all return home and we will be in contact with you the moment anything happens."
"I understand." Kaji's father nodded and turned to Kahoko. "It has been a long day for you so you should go home before it gets too dark."
"But I," Kahoko felt she could not just leave not knowing the outcome.
"It's okay, once the doctor contacts us, we will keep you updated too." In a warm smile Kaji's father said. "Besides, I did not raise him to be a weakling. He is a strong boy, I am sure he will pull through."
Nodding, Kahoko gave Kaji's parents another bow. "Thank you for letting me be here."
"No, we should thank you." Kaji's mother replied. "It meant a lot to us that you are here for Aoi."
With another bow, Kahoko said goodbye to Kaji's parents. The entire way home, Kahoko felt an indescribable discomfort pressing against her chest. On the train, on the walk back home from the station, the whole time Kahoko's mind thought about Kaji. Everything Kaji used to say, everything he did swamped Kahoko's head and she did not like that. It was as if she knew she may not share any more memories with him, it was like good-bye…
---
Without receiving any news on Kaji's status for three days, before Kahoko die of anxiety, finally the call came through on the fourth night. "Aoi had just regained his consciousness," Kaji's father told Kahoko, obvious indescribable joy showed through his voice.
"Real…really?" Kahoko felt all the weight, all the miseries from the past weeks vanished in one phone call as she held onto her head not knowing what to say.
"Yes, he just opened his eyes a few minutes ago, and without the help of the medical instruments, he was breathing fine…" With great relief Kaji's father explained. "Would you like to come see him tomorrow?"
"Of, of course!" Kahoko held tightly onto her phone. "I will come over first thing in the morning!"
Hearing the happiness in Kahoko's voice, Kaji's father smiled. "Don't worry, just come over when you are free. As I can recall, tomorrow was supposed to be the first opening day for the Madama Butterfly opera right?"
Knowing Kaji's father was right, Kahoko gave a sigh. Unlike the dress rehearsal, there was no way Kahoko could take tomorrow off. Not to mention, for the next few months, she probably would be spending majority of her time at the production. "Yes, it's true. I will come over once the performance is finished."
After his conversation with Kahoko, Kaji's father turned to look at his son with a big smile. "Aoi, that was Hino-san on the phone."
"…Hino-san…?" As if it took all the strength in his body, Kaji repeated the name, the first word he had spoken since his recovery.
"Yes," Sitting down next to the hospital bed, Kaji's father said. "She was here with you the whole time when you were in surgery. Now you have finally regained consciousness, she will be here tomorrow."
"Father…" Whispering, his eyes looking at the ceiling Kaji said. "I have one request…"
---
The opening day of Madama Butterfly was a success. Thunderous applause, endless words of praises, but none of these mattered to Kahoko. Immediately packing her things, Kahoko left the theatre as fast as she could and head straight for the hospital.
"No, no one is allowed to visit Kaji Aoi-sama."
Kahoko thought her ears malfunctioned when the security guard stopped her at the door. Squeezing out a smile, Kahoko explained patiently. "My name is Hino Kahoko, I am a friend of Kaji Aoi. I was here just yesterday to visit him…"
"No, access is strictly limited to family members only." Like starting from scratch, the security guard told Kahoko the same sentence that she had heard a thousand times already.
"Please double check with Kaji sensei, he knows I am his son's friend." A little frustrated Kahoko said.
"I doubt it," Shaking his head the security guard said. "He had only just re-enforced the rule this morning. From the list of names he gave me, I am sure Hino Kahoko is not on it."
Like a bucket of cold water poured down on Kahoko, she felt her body turning colder. What had happened? She had only received the call last night to come and visit Kaji because he has finally regained consciousness, how come all of a sudden she was shut out?
Sensing her head spinning, Kahoko left the hospital feeling like the whole world had gone crazy. When at this time, a man approached her. Lifting her head, Kahoko recognised him to be the guard that she met on the day Kaji's father gave her permission into the hospital.
"Hino-san?" Taking a look around him to make sure no one was around, he whispered. "Aoi-sama is actually no longer in the hospital."
"Eh?" Not expecting that, Kahoko asked quickly. "What, what happened? Where is he?"
"He had been transferred to a rehabilitation clinic by the Yokohama Harbour," Kindly the guard explained. "But for some reason, when Kaji sensei gave us the restricted name list this morning, your name was not on it."
"Did, did he forget to put my name on it?" Kahoko asked although she sensed already something was going on.
"I am not sure, but I doubt it because Kaji sensei is not a careless person like that." Shaking his head the guard said. Noticing how Kahoko's face turned paler with the disappointing news, in sympathy the guard handed Kahoko a piece of paper. "This is the address of the rehabilitation clinic, maybe you could go and find out for yourself what had happened."
"Thank you so much!" In joy Kahoko gave the kind guard a bow.
Following the direction on the paper the guard gave her, Kahoko came to a beautiful, serene Victorian building that outlook into the ocean. Seeing the surroundings, Kahoko was glad that Kaji would be recovering here.
"I am sorry, but this rehabilitation centre is not opened to the public." Unfortunately Kahoko received the same treatment as she approached the entrance. "It is crucial for us to keep a tranquil and soothing atmosphere for our patients."
"No, I am not a suspicious person. I am not with the media or anything," in eagerness Kahoko explained. "My name is Hino Kahoko, I am a close friend of Kaji Aoi. I was advised that he has regained consciousness so I could come visit him. If you are unsure, please double check with Kaji sensei."
Shaking her head again, the nurse repeated. "I am sorry, but I cannot let you in. Kaji sensei has left for the day, I will check with him once he returns tomorrow."
"I see..." Not wanting to cause any trouble Kahoko finally gave in. "I am not sure what happened, but I will try again tomorrow. But please do double check with Kaji sensei for me."
---
"Aoi-sama, how are you feeling today?" Approaching the handsome youth who sat quietly by the window in a wheelchair, the nurse greeted with a warm smile. Gently placing a vase of fresh flowers on the table the nurse smiled. "A new bunch of flowers again today, your friend has really made this room into a flower garden."
However the youth did not respond as his clear emerald green eyes continued to look out the window through the small opening between the curtains, his eyes followed a girl who unknowingly of the gaze walked calmly out of the front gate. Observing the youth's reaction, the nurse secretly gave a sigh as she attempted once more. "Aoi-sama, should we try to stand up again today? You never know if you could do it unless you try."
Finally, when he no longer could see the girl, the youth closed the curtains as he said softly, "Please, I would prefer to be alone right now."
In understanding, the nurse nodded and left the room. As she returned to her station, another nurse asked when she saw the look on her face. "How is Aoi-sama today?"
"The usual," With a sigh the first nurse replied. "He would sit by the window and watch the girl leave, yet he refuses to meet her when she comes."
"I really feel for the two of them. That Hino Kahoko girl despite numerous rejections continued to visit with a bunch of new flowers everyday, and knowing she would be here, Aoi-sama would wait, and sit by the window and watch until she leaves." The second nurse sighed too in sympathy.
"It's so sad to see them like this," The first nurse groaned. "I don't understand. It is clear that Aoi-sama cares and misses the girl, but why wouldn't he meet her?"
"Maybe," The second nurse replied in pity. "Maybe Aoi-sama could not bear to let her see him in his current condition? What if she was disappointed? I mean, who would be willing to spend time with a paralysed man?"
---
Stretching forth his right arm, Kaji attempted to touch the vase of flowers with his fingertips. Frustrated with how much effort it was for him to accomplish something so simple, Kaji sank back into the wheelchair as he closed his eyes in despair.
It was a punishment.
Kaji knew he was chastised because he had desired something that was not his. The sin of covetousness was one of the top ten sins and he was guilty of it. Already clear of the moral behind the Greek myth of Icarus, the man who flew too close to the sun, Kaji did the same thing. Like Icarus, his wings melted and he had also resulted in the sea of death.
Although he no longer required the instruments to help him breath, or keep the heart pumping, Kaji's legs remained paralysed. The doctors advised that due to the prior failure of his peripheral nervous system, it must have affected the rest of his body. He could recover again, but he must endeavour to work hard on the rehabilitation, forcing his muscles to move again.
Unfortunately the progress had not been positive. Doctors were unable to help further because, if Kaji had lost the will to fight, he could never recover. No one knew the reason why Kaji had given up on hope except himself. He had accepted the result, and felt it was a punishment he deserved.
The next day, when Kahoko returned to the rehabilitation centre with another bunch of flowers, the nurse stopped her before she walked away. "Hino-san, today when you leave the premise, remember to look up to the left when you walk pass the main fountain."
Before Kahoko could ask further on what she meant, the nurse turned and walked into the building. Tilting her head, Kahoko repeated the sentence in her head, and as she walked pass the main fountain, as told, she lifted her head to the left.
It was then, Kahoko felt a huge thump when she saw the face of the special friend she had not seen for months. When her eyes met up with those magical green eyes through the window, Kahoko ran up in haste. "Kaji-kun!"
Unfortunately it was only for an instance as Kaji quickly closed the curtains. Seeing that, Kahoko knew she was not going to let this chance go so easily! Running back towards the front door, before anyone had a chance to stop her, Kahoko head straight for the door she knew connected to that window.
"Kaji-kun!" Knocking anxiously on the door Kahoko called. "Kaji-kun, please open the door!"
Kahoko felt despair, melancholy whirled up within when she realised no matter how she called and knocked, Kaji did not open the door for her. It was then, the question she had for the past weeks was finally answered. Kahoko learned that it was not Kaji's father who shut her out, but it was Kaji that refused her visitation.
When that idea hit her, Kahoko felt all the strength left her as she collapsed before the door weeping. "Why...? Why? Kaji-kun. Why won't you see me? Did I do something wrong? It was my fault right? I knew I was the one that did not help you when you were sick, I know you are angry at me, but please..." Sobbing bitterly Kahoko pleaded. "Please don't shut me out like this...please..."
On the other side of the door, Kaji felt his heart tore into pieces with what Kahoko said. How she wept so bitterly, how she blamed herself for the result of his sin. Placing his hand against the door Kaji closed his eyes as tears rolled down his face.
"...Hino-san..."
Kahoko's body jumped when she finally heard the tender voice that she thought she could never hear again.
"…Please do not blame yourself, it is not your fault." Kahoko heard Kaji said, his voice sounded so hurt. "If you still treat me as a friend, please do not come back to see me again..."
"Why? Why?" Shocked with Kaji's request Kahoko asked. "I want to see you, I want to know if you are okay..."
"Please just go..." Kaji pleaded again, there were sorrows he could not explain. "Please just remember me as before any of this happened. My only desire was to remain in your memory as who I was. That simple foolish admirer of yours..."
Yes, if there were one last wish Kaji had in this world, it would be that he could remain forever in Kahoko's memory in the best times she had known him. He would rather die than for her to see him so destroyed, so useless...
Kahoko became speechless upon Kaji's request. All of a sudden she was reminded of what Kaji's father said to her. It was a man's stubborn pride wanting the girl they love to only see the best of them.
"I understand, Kaji-kun..."Slowly rising onto her feet again, Kahoko calmly dried her tears. "But I just want you to know, no matter what happens, you are already wonderful in every way to me."
When Kaji heard what Kahoko said, all the morose, heartache took over as Kaji wept silently.
When she heard no more response from the other side of the door, Kahoko gave a bow as she turned and walked out of the building. The question Yunoki asked her returned once again to her mind. This time, Kahoko discovered, she might finally know the answer.
---
"Hino-san,"
After the performance, while Kahoko was quickly packing away her things again, a man approached her.
"Le...Tsukimori-kun?" Kahoko called in surprise when she saw the person. Ever since the ski trip, although they meet at the production everyday, Kahoko discovered that she actually had not conversed with him.
"Have you collected all the member survey from the second violinists?" Unlike her, calmly Tsukimori asked.
"Ah!" It was not until Tsukimori mentioned it did Kahoko realise that she had totally forgotten that as one of the duty of the head of each instrumental group, she was to collect member surveys for business purposes. As the violinists, Kahoko was supposed to work together with Tsukimori to come up with a combined report. Holding onto her head, Kahoko gave a sigh. "I am sorry, I have been caught up with Kaji-kun's situation in the past months, I have totally forgotten about it."
Observing the expressions on her face, Tsukimori finally asked. "How is he doing?"
Responding with a smile, Kahoko replied. "He is doing better now. After the surgery he can breathe and eat on his own now. I even managed to talk to him yesterday."
"Managed to talk to him?" A little surprised Tsukimori asked. "The past months where you visited him everyday, you have not been able to talk to him?"
"Well, as you know there were strict access to his visitation, but I finally got through yesterday and managed to speak a few words!" Trying to act as positive as possible, Kahoko explained not mentioning any of the sad, depressive truth behind her effort in the past months, because to her, being able to finally hear Kaji's voice again was really all that mattered.
Noticing the genuine happiness in Kahoko's voice, Tsukimori felt his heart ached with the discovery. "You will be able to remain beside him, for there is no way Kaji could turn away since he finally earned your love in return."
"Eh...?" Not expecting the statement from Tsukimori Kahoko felt her mind so clear. So, that was the reason why she spent the past months day and night, every moment thinking about Kaji.
"I will collect the surveys for you then." Without exploring further into the topic, Tsukimori said as he turned and walked away.
Kahoko's eyes followed Tsukimori's tall figure as a gentle smile came onto her face.
Thank you Len and good-bye...
---
She is really gone and will not return.
Kaji sat in the room as the thought continued to eat him up inside. But, this was what he wanted her to do right? At the same time, the look on Kahoko's face when she saw him through the window, the ecstatic joy, the way how her already beautiful delicate face lightened up immediately when she called his name made Kaji think otherwise.
How could he be so foolish? He knew already that she does not belong to him and why wouldn't he stop longing after her? Without anything to offer her, what right does he have? Yet, none of these reminders and warnings could stop Kaji from hoping, from anticipating Kahoko's return. If he could hear her music again, he was willing to enter into hell again.
As if his sinful longings were answered, Kaji heard the sound of violin travelled in the air. Although Kaji may be paralysed, his perfect hearing remained. Every note played by the violinist created ripples of emotions inside him until they resulted in crashing waves that severed all the barriers within him.
"You are cunning, Hino-san. You knew there was no way I could resist the sound of your violin."
Kahoko stopped immediately when she heard the voice from behind her. Feeling her visions blurring because of the tears that formed rapidly in her eyes, Kahoko saw the handsome stunning youth there, a most tender smile on his face.
"Kaji-kun..." Kahoko sobbed and approached him cautiously, scared that he might disappear again.
With a self-mocking smile, Kaji said looking to his wheelchair. "Yes, I am still paralysed and I am far from worthy of you..."
"It's not true, Kaji-kun." Kahoko shook her head quickly as her arms came around Kaji, holding him tight. "It's not true..."
Upon the touch of Kahoko's embrace, Kaji finally gave in as he slowly closed his eyes and leaned his head against her shoulder. Whispering with a most sincere and tender voice, Kaji asked. "But as pitiful as I am, am I still allowed to love you?"
Feeling her heart so moved by Kaji's words, Kahoko held him even tighter as she said. "I remembered once you said, if I was Eurydice and you were Orpheus, you would be willing to follow me to Hades. But now," smiling, Kahoko gently placed her hands on Kaji's face as she whispered with all her heart. "I am going to be your Orpheus. This time, I will follow you to Hades."
Upon Kahoko's confession, Kaji felt the sunshine he had lost returned to him, and this time, it was here to stay. "Thank you..." Gently overlapping his hand over Kahoko's, Kaji gave her the warm charismatic smile she had missed for so long. "Kaho-san."
---
"I am going to miss you Kaho-san," With the soft sea breeze brushing pass both he and Kahoko's faces Kaji said wholeheartedly. "Every time I close my eyes I will think about you, nothing would be the same if you are not here with me."
Feeling her heart so warm and sweet with Kaji's loving words, Kahoko gently leaned her head against his shoulder and whispered in shyness. "I will think of you too, Aoi-san."
After Kahoko and Kaji had finally learned of each other's feelings, Kaji regained his strength to recover. Working closely with Kaji, Kahoko contributed greatly to Kaji's rehabilitation. After another month of hard work, Kaji can finally walk now with the assistance of a walking stick.
Unfortunately, as the Madama Butterfly Production is coming to an end, Kahoko will be spending the coming two months performing in another city, Kobe.
"But it is only two months!" Kahoko said quickly. "After two months I will be back here, so during my absence, you must not slack on your rehab."
With a long sigh, Kaji muttered in disappointment. "As your number one fan, I cannot believe I could not attend any of your performances and already the production is coming to an end."
Blushing, Kahoko justified. "It's not my performance. I am just a member of the orchestra. You won't even hear my part in the entire opera."
"Fufu...you underestimate my hearing ability, Kaho-san." Beaming Kaji chuckled.
Not sure if Kaji was exaggerating or not, Kahoko giggled too as she held onto his hand. "You can always call me while I am in Kobe, then once the production is over, I will be on the first flight back to Yokohama to see you."
Although Kahoko stressed that it was only two months, but it felt like the longest period ever to her. Counting down the days, finally, accompanied by thunderous applause, audiences standing from their seats in appreciation on their final performance, Kahoko was glad that in less than 24 hours, she would be able to see Kaji face to face again.
"Where do you think you are going?"
Before Kahoko could secretly sneak off hoping to not having to attend the celebration party, Yunoki caught her.
"Good evening Yunoki senpai," With a bow Kahoko greeted. "I was just going to go now since the production is over, and, I didn't think the celebration party was compulsory..."
"Did you not receive the message that the guest in VIP Box 21 wished to congratulate and complement the head of each music instrumental group?" Ignoring what Kahoko said, Yunoki asked instead.
"Do, do I have to go?" In disappointment Kahoko asked.
"Are you not the head of the second violinists?" Yunoki asked coldly. "Get over there now since everyone else already left ten minutes ago."
Totally unenthusiastic, Kahoko headed for VIP Box 21. Seeing that no one else was around, Kahoko realised like Yunoki said, she was really ten minutes late. Hoping she could sneak in without being noticed, Kahoko quietly opened the door.
To her surprise, after she opened the door, none of the other orchestra members were in there. Rather, there was only a gentleman dressed in a tuxedo standing right by the balcony of the VIP Box that looks right down at the entire theatre.
"Thank you for coming, Hino Kahoko-san." Calmly, the gentleman turned around as he greeted Kahoko with a warm smile. Noticing the stunned look on Kahoko's face, the gentleman walked up to her as he handed her the bouquet in his hands. "Would you accept the congratulation and admiration from your number one fan?"
Holding the bouquet in her hand Kahoko thought she was dreaming. In joy Kahoko ran up and held the gentleman tightly. "Aoi-san, Aoi-san!"
Responding, Kaji's arms came around Kahoko's tiny waist as he held her firmly and closely to him, sensing her presence right there in his arms. Too overwhelmed with joy, Kahoko still could not believe that Kaji was standing before her, here in Kobe, fully recovered and not only that, he made it to her performance.
"Are you really here, Aoi-san?" Kahoko whispered in disbelief although she could hear his heartbeat, sense the gentle touch of his fingers against her cheek.
"I am here," Kaji replied softly. Lovingly brushing his thumb over Kahoko's soft lips, Kaji knew he was beyond help. The more he was with Kahoko, the greedier he became. "Is it okay if I kiss you?"
Feeling her heart pumping crazily like a little girl in love, Kahoko blushed and nodded in shyness to Kaji's request.
When Kaji's hand lifted her chin, in nervousness Kahoko closed her eyes. The moment she sensed the gentle touch of Kaji's lips against her own, Kahoko thought she was going to pass out. As a reflex, her hands gripped onto Kaji's sleeve as she leaned back into his supporting arms allowing him to stoop deeper into the kiss.
Different to any of the kisses she experienced before, this kiss with Kaji was something deeper and more solid. A manifestation of what they have gone through together. It was not a puppy love, but something more assuring, something Kahoko and Kaji knew no matter what happens, they will be there to support each other forever.
---
"How come Yunoki senpai told me that the head of each music instrumental group need to be here?" Sitting on Kaji's laps, Kahoko asked in curiosity. From the looks of it, Yunoki senpai should have known that it was Kaji waiting in this room and not some random VIP guest.
"To be honest, I was quite surprised myself that Yunoki-san would actually really pass the message on…" Kaji said as he thought to himself. "Considering how he actually was…" Stopping, Kaji smiled in understanding as he concluded. "I guess his love was genuine after all."
"Huh?" Clueless to the secret battle between Kaji and Yunoki, Kahoko blinked.
"Nothing," Smiling, Kaji leaned in and gave Kahoko another kiss on her cheek causing her to blush again. "I had wanted to make it for your performance no matter what, so I worked extremely hard on the rehab while you were away in the last two months, and I contacted Yunoki-san for a ticket but he said that the only ticket left was the VIP one." Chuckling Kaji added. "It cost me a fortune for this room. Made me think whether Yunoki-san purposely tried to rip me off."
"But was it worth it?" Giggling too Kahoko asked. She could just picture Yunoki making Kaji pay for last minute tickets.
Fondling Kahoko's soft hair in love, Kaji smiled and leaned in to kiss Kahoko once more as he whispered. "It was worth every yen…"
Epilogue"As the head of the Seiouka Hospital, I, Kaji Aoi sensei welcome you all on board, and I believe we will have a wonderful working relationship together."
It was just another year of new recruits in the Seiouka Hospital, as usual, whenever the head of the hospital makes the welcome speech, he would attract numerous admiring glances from ones who were too busy awing at his charm and handsomeness than to hear what he was saying.
"Is Kaji sensei married yet?"
The senior nurse sighed when she heard one of the new nurses asked. The question she would hear every year from new recruits.
"No, he is not married yet."
"Oh my god, that is so great! I wonder what type of girls does he like?"
Same response as well. But this time, the senior nurse knew she could finally give a different answer. Grinning, she turned around and said. "Don't event think about it. Kaji sensei is not married yet, but he would be this weekend."
"Eh?"
Seeing the stunned look on the new nurses, the senior nurse smiled. "Don't forget that all the hospital staff are chipping in to buy him a wedding gift, so I will come and collect the money later today."
---
"Hino-chan, you are so beautiful~" Amou felt she would be in tears soon seeing how stunning Kahoko looked in her wedding dress. Adding on to that, the blissful smile, and the genuine happiness that expressed from Kahoko made Amou truly happy for her.
"I knew you and Kaji would end up being together." Mio and Nao, Kahoko's two best friends since high school said too. "I remembered how the two of you sat next to each other in class, how he was always admiring you…"
"Mio…" Kahoko blushed even more reminded of the time when she first met Kaji. Never could she imagine that she would soon become his counterpart forever. Quickly changing the topic, Kahoko asked. "Has all the guests arrived?"
"Yes," Amou nodded while she helped Kahoko straightening her veil. "Tsuchiura-kun, Ousaki senpai, Kanazawa sensei, Shimzu-kun with Shoko-chan, Hihara senpai, Yunoki senpai and his new wife Miyako-san." Stopping Amou concluded. "Tsukimori-kun cannot make it but you know that already."
Nodding Kahoko felt her heart ached a little when Tsukimori's name was mentioned. After the completion of the Madama Butterfly Production, Tsukimori returned to Vienna with Maestro Schinkel, and since then he remained there. Now a world-class violin soloist, Tsukimori had been very busy with his concerts.
"Excuse me," While the girls were talking, the door knocked as one of the wedding event staff entered with a exquisite elegant bouquet. "This has just arrived for you, Hino-san. A gift from overseas."
"From overseas?" Receiving the bouquet Kahoko saw a card in it. Picking it up, she saw in refined handwriting a short and simple message.
Wishing you all the happiness in the world,
Tsukimori.
"Kaho?" Noticing tears forming in Kahoko's eyes, Nao asked in concern.
"Ah, I am fine." Quickly replying with a smile Kahoko said as she took another look at the bouquet in her hands. "I want to use this bouquet as I walk down the aisle, is that okay?"
"Of course." Everyone nodded agreement.
With another knock, Kahoko's sister and mother entered. "It's time. Can't keep the groom waiting."
Nodding, Kahoko took a deep breath as she felt like the happiest person in the world. Especially when she walked down the aisle, when she saw how Kaji smiled at her, how he held onto her hand throughout the ceremony, Kahoko knew from deep within, although it was a long journey, but now she could say—I do.
Fin. Kaji Aoi side