The Life and Times of the Kazekage's Assistant

Disclaimer:I don't own Naruto. This story is inspired by a novel by Lauren Weisberger. I do, however, own Imamura Tsubasa, Tenchi Hoshiro, Suzuki Sorachi, Sendo Kanoka, and Kawasaki Tazuna, any other Ocs and the plot.

Author's Note: I hope you enjoy this seventh chapter because Tsubasa finally gets some swagger. ;)

Chapter Seven: New Girl's Got Swag

I'm not sure exactly how Temari continually managed to creep herself into my already stress-ridden life to bark orders, requests, and demands at a rapid shuriken throwing pace from day break 'til dawn. My bleating cell phone sounded and I didn't have to look at the caller ID to know who it was. I was about to greet Temari but she began first. "Tsubasa! Are you there? Don't breathe into the phone girl!"

"Hai, Temari-sama… I'm here," I said, audibly sighing into the phone.

"I don't understand why you keep breathing into the receiver," she started off with me, "What are people supposed to think when all they hear is breathing? Hmm? It is not good for the industry, understand?" Oh yes, the industry. The industry, the industry, the industry! The industry could have me bend over just so the industry could kiss my ass, and then the industry could turn me right side up and tell me what a wonderful time they had kissing said ass. But of course, I didn't tell Temari that. I valued my job and my credibility.

"Hai, Temari-sama. Gomen nasai. I will no longer breathe into the phone," I said in a monotone voice. I felt like a drone whose sole purpose was to serve.

"Well good. Now after wasting all that precious time… I need you to call Miyoshi and make a reservation for six o'clock. Okay?"

"Ha—" I was going to say, 'Hai' but the click beat me to the punch yet again. Did she have a problem with staying on the line for more than one minute or something? I sighed into my phone a good three times and began to puff air into it because I wanted Temari to know that I would breathe into it whether she liked it or not (I only did this when I was certain she hung up).

"Am I interrupting something," asked the voice I knew to be that of my boss's. He was standing in front of my desk. I looked up sheepishly at him. I could even feel a small blush spread across my cheeks. Why was he always catching me in my embarrassing moments? Was he waiting for me to do something embarrassing or was he just lucky enough to catch me at them?

"No… not at all," I replied nervously. He gave me the amused look I loved yet unloved too as I put the phone back to its rightful (actually it didn't belong there because my boss didn't call me on it; Temari did) place on my hip. I can't say I didn't enjoy his eyes when they looked entertained by my stupidity but it was also a bit nerve-racking to know that he was amused. I wasn't a clown. I was a future highly esteemed council… oh hell, what was the use? If he wanted me to be a dog and roll over and fetch, I would do it if it meant pleasing him.

He nodded and I could see his cute ear pop out for a brief moment from his amazing red hair. I smiled at him, resisting the urge to nibble. "I have to give a speech soon… I understand you are very good at writing speeches?" He understood I was good? Oh, now he was just playing with me. I had written speeches for him before. He didn't just understand, he knew. It was so cute when he would joke around with me… It nearly melted my heart!

"Hai, Kazekage-sama," I told him, "I've written many speeches and I'm good orally." I almost smacked myself in the forehead. 'I'm good orally'? That sounded so wrong and like something Matsuri would say to try to get him to pay attention to her sexually (yet another moment of my utter embarrassment due to lack of grace under fire in front of my boss). His eyes had widened at my words and then he began to nod as his lips twitched into a weird smile. It was the kind of smile that you knew that was stifling laughter.

My self-esteem dropped to about half as he continued speaking. "I need you to write me a speech about Suna's hunger problems so I can assure the public not to worry… I also need an idea on how to fix it… I can alert the council members to help me but I'd rather not." I knew that my boss loathed asking the council members for help on anything; it wasn't his style.

"I'll write one by tomorrow morning," I said to him, "As for Suna's hunger issues…" I began to wonder about ideas for the hunger tribulations. "I got it!" I shouted, nearly flying out of my seat. I think I startled him a bit but he nodded for me to share my idea. "All we have to do is ask Konoha for aid with the food shortage in exchange for some of our new weapons and technology. We were going to share it with them anyway but now we can offer it to them as a trade. It'll also strengthen our relationship with them, which by what Kankuro has told me, is weakening due to our lack of communication with them."

He thought it over for a couple moments and nodded. "I trust you can handle this on your own," he asked me, "I'd assist, but I have an excruciatingly long meeting with the council members. It will last all day for the next week. Also, my paperwork is going to collect, and since I won't be able to fill it out…"

"Don't worry," I assured him, "You go to your meetings, and I'll handle everything." Boy, was that a stupid thing to say. I was S-C-R-E-W-E-D, screwed.

"Arigato," he murmured as he left the assistant's suite and ventured to the other parts of Sand Castle. Sometimes I felt sorry for him because he always had a meeting to tend to but then I reminded myself that I was sorry for me because I was stuck with all the work while he was gone. Plus, Kanoka and Matsuri were nowhere to be found (not like that was uncharacteristic of them). My heart skipped a beat as the bleat of my phone reached my ears. "Moshi, moshi. This is Imamura Tsubasa," I said, this time without excess 'breathing into the receiver'.

"Did you call and make reservations yet," demanded Temari from the other line.

"No, I was talking to the Kazeka—" Click. That was nice of her, I smiled bitterly thinking this. I wanted to crush the stupid phone, but I knew she would have my head for it later. I picked it up, dialed Miyoshi, and made Temari her reservations. I had just hung up with Miyoshi when Temari called back. "Moshi! Imamura Tsubasa speaking," I said into the receiver. No breathing, I reminded myself as I pulled the receiver away from my mouth for a moment as Temari talked my ear to death.

"Did you make my reservations for seven o'clock at Yoshiba yet," she asked angrily from the other end. I could just picture putting her hand on her hip and tapping her foot impatiently.

"You told me six and at Miyoshi," I told her, "Not seven."

"Bore someone else with your stupidity. I said seven. Perhaps you should get your hearing checked!" I could hear her angrily hiss into the phone as she spoke. "No. I want them at Yoshiba! At Seven o'clock, Tsubasa. Seeeveeeen. Make haste!" she cried and then came the infamous click. I sighed into the phone again, blowing air into the receiver as much as I could. I even coughed on it. Then I dialed Miyoshi to cancel, dialed Yoshiba, scheduled the reservations, and then went to my desk to finally do the tasks my actual boss had set forth for me to do.

"Pick up my dry cleaning."

"Did you write my speech?"

"Get me that purse I like at that one store."

"File paperwork."

"Buy me those heels I'm fond of."

"I know you're busy, but can you take a look at Kankuro's puppet? I'm tied up right now."

"Call D&S to confirm."

"Schedule a meeting with Feudal Lord Fukima."

"Get me my hot searing coffee."

"Temari-sama needs disinfectant wipes… I'd get them but I'm busy."

"Buy me the magazines I like."

"I need you to accompany me in the next council meeting."

"Why is no one working?"

Blah. Blah. Blah. BLAH!

My head was reeling by the end of my first few months of work. I couldn't handle this garbage I was being put through and I swore that I would go insane by the time I hit seventeen in July. I needed a vacation but I only had Sundays off. I almost wished that the Kazekage would send me on a death mission to relieve me of the stress. I had told myself that that morning would be different. I would only do what was asked of me to do by the Kazekage; my boss. Anyone else would have to shut up and suck it. Suck what? Suck an egg or something. I was sick and tired of it all. The only thing I had to look forward to was the fact that today was the day to show off everything new about myself. I would go into the office with my hair and makeup done beautifully and wear my brand new outfit. It was very exciting for me! All that training I had done and practicing my walk for Tazuna would finally pay off that day.

I was about to walk into the assistant's suite when I heard Matsuri and Kanoka gossiping about me. Naturally, I pressed my ear to the door to listen in.

"I have no idea why Gaara-sensei hired her." That was definitely Matsuri.

"Me neither," said the whiny voice of Kanoka, "About two months ago, I dropped my Shimura eyelash curler and she picked it up for me asking, 'What's this thing?' Can you believe it?"

I heard Matsuri's laughter as she began to speak again. This was my cue for me to enter the room and put an end to their gossip. Tazuna had been training me vigorously on how to enter a room, how to dress, how to do my hair, how to use makeup, and how to be a model (it wasn't really my thing at first but I must admit that I did enjoy feeling confident in myself for a change). Eat your hearts out, I thought as I walked in, expertly doing my catwalk strut. Matsuri couldn't even finish her sentence.

"Oh, believe me, the moment I saw her I knew that she was…"

I let my pink hair flip across my shoulders like the way Tazuna had shown me (fierce model with an attitude style is what she called it), my trademark braid dangling carefree in my hair like a wildflower would. Yes, my muddled locks of pink matted hair were no more! They had been replaced with silky smooth pink hair styled in a trendy layered cut with side bangs on the right part of my forehead and adorned with expensive Japanese hairpins (my new obsession). And the best part of all was that I received a makeup lesson.

At age thirteen it would have been great to have but better late than never was something I learned to accept. With a bat of my eyelashes, which had been enhanced by a Shimura eyelash curler and mascara, I smiled brilliantly as I floated gracefully to my desk, my shimmering Suzuki-Toima lip gloss shined like nighttime constellations. My lime green short dress kimono with purple flower designs complimented me (and my pink hair) perfectly and I had to admit that I did adore the way my butt looked in the purple spandex shorts and how toned my calf muscles looked when I wore heels (well worth the pain of throbbing feet and squashed toes).

I placed my designer Desert Passion purse (the purse that was worth more than Matsuri's old one) gently and so it faced the gawking, lazy assistants in front of me. The phone began to ring and I answered it expertly. Inwardly I was squealing like a school girl at the perfect timing.

"Moshi, Lord Kazekage's office," I said nonchalantly yet fabulously into the phone, "This is Imamura Tsubasa speaking. How may I help you?" The other person responded by asking for Temari but I quickly said, "Gomen nasai. She is currently unavailable but I'll let her know you called. Buh, bye." I took my seat at my desk and waited.

"Are you wearing the—" Ahah! It was my cue again.

"The one of a kind short dress Kimmora Kimono and the Desert Kitsune high heels? Yes, I am." I grinned as I began to fill out some paperwork my boss had left on my desk for me to work on. Tazuna was an absolute angel!

"You… you look pretty," murmured Kanoka as she received a dirty look from Matsuri. She seemed appalled that her little crony Kanoka-chan had given me a compliment. "What," asked Kanoka in a whisper as Matsuri complained, "Well… she does."

"Shut your mouth Kanoka," hissed Matsuri as she busied herself with, what I would guess to be as, some doodles of her and Gaara.

Satisfied, I grinned. Neither of them thought that someone like me, the new girl, could ever have swagger like a runway model. That was something I was indefinitely proud of. I'd cherish their stupefied looks forever.

My boss began to call for me from his office and so I rose (confidently and gracefully like the way Tazuna had shown me and not like the clumsy, unattractive way I used to). As I walked into his office and closed the two doors behind me, he worked steadily on his paperwork without looking up. He had asked me to close the blinds because he didn't want Matsuri or Kanoka peaking in anymore for the rest of the day. He also informed me that he would see no one today unless it was of the utmost importance. That meant that somebody had to be dying or comparable. "Imamura," he murmured as he finished up with his last sheet of paperwork, about to tell me whatever it was he had wanted. He looked up at me and looked a bit shocked but then his face returned to his normal expressionless one. "Imamura?" he said, but it seemed to be more of a question.

"Hai," I responded with a smile and a smooth voice that Tazuna had taught me to use (I was beginning to wonder who was helping who in getting men). I could even see his nose twitch slightly, confirming that he indeed was picking up on the scent of my Harem's Secret perfume; playful daydream. I was so fond of my new look (new everything) and I felt ready for the world; ready for anything it could throw at me.

His teal eyes were locked onto my own sultry blue ones as he regained his composure (I would have to thank Tazuna later and cook her dinner or something. How was I to repay her? Oh yeah… duh… I was finding her a husband… she was repaying me… I could still pay her back…). "The Fright Carnival was a great success," he said to me; something I already knew but hadn't taken credit for (partly because I was out for about half of the carnival due to Kankuro's lovely puppet Karasu). Temari, in fact, had taken credit. Stupid bitch. All she did was put on that gay runway show (forcing me, of all people, to participate in it because she had a model down). Yeah, you heard me right. Gay. It was positively homosexual, if you ask me. "This winter there is the annual Sakura Blossom Festival… I want another success like your first. Temari will be putting on another fashion show," he said as he rolled his eyes at the last part. I knew that Gaara didn't really approve of his sister's obsession for fashion. I couldn't help but agree although I was sporting her Desert Kitsune heels. I guess that made me guilty as well. "Any ideas?"

"I have a few, actually," I admitted as I took my usual seat in front of him. I accidentally slid my foot underneath his desk so I could stretch my leg when I unintentionally touched his. I embarrassedly pulled my foot away and began to blush slightly as I mumbled a quick, "Gomen nasai." Grace under fire was such bullshit because I had none.

The young man before me nodded but I wasn't sure if he was nodding to the fact that I had said I had some ideas or the fact that grace under fire had failed me yet again. Maybe he was nodding to both. "I'd like to work in tandem with you on this," he said to me as he began to pull several sheets of paper out from his drawer, "I don't like sticking you with so much work… I know Temari takes advantage of you as well." Yes! Finally! Some acknowledgement for all my hard work! Could it be? "Anyway, I have free time this month and no scheduled meetings so far so I can assist you with the plans. Shall we begin now?"

"Hai," I said with a nod as he began to show me what was on the papers he had pulled out from the drawer.

"Here are some design plans," he mumbled as he turned some of the papers around to face me. He watched my face for a moment, most likely noting that I was wearing makeup, and then spoke again. "Are there any you like?"

"I do like this one," I said as I pointed to my favorite design. I decided to explain why I liked it so much because I didn't believe in giving an answer at times like these without giving an explanation to go along with it. "It allows open space for people to sit out with blankets and watch the Sakura Blossoms and also space for concession stands and musical bands. It's wintery and it's pink so it is just the right colors for a Sakura Blossom Festival. Don't you think so?" I did want to know his opinion, after all.

He simply nodded and said, "I will make some calls to get it set up. I'll leave you to decide which concession stands should have what and perhaps a blanket stand for those who need them?"

"Yeah," I said excitedly, "We can make some extra profit by providing some specially made blankets with the year printed on the corner and a sakura tree as the design." He nodded again as I went on and on about different things we could do. He made some suggestions now and then; it was enough to keep me content and know that we were working in tandem and I wasn't doing everything alone. It was a good feeling. Another good feeling was the fact that I had ordered about three dozen grown Sakura trees toward the beginning of November so that the Sakura Festival would be a bit nicer. It was a smart move I had thought of to make. I smiled to myself; I loved being prepared and organized.

Kankuro had then walked in. He greeted Gaara first and then me. He gave me a second glance and smiled. "Whoa. Long legs don't give me no head rush in the morning," he complimented with a wide grin, "Tsubasa-san, you look great!" He was looking at me the way he did when he was checking out Kanoka or Matsuri. It was a nice feeling; to be looked at that way. I gave him a small bow and thanked him for his kind words. He was staring into my eyes with his brown ones. His eyes flickered flirtatiously at me for a moment and I could feel myself blushing from the attention (not that I sought his attention but because I rarely received any attention at all). "So what are you doing after work," he asked me as he leaned over toward me, still smiling. I could smell his minty breath and wondered if he had just eaten some mints or chewed some gum. It smelled good.

Gaara cleared his throat as he glared over at Kankuro. "Kankuro," he said firmly, "That's enough. You are being indecent and lewd. Be a gentleman." It was almost a hiss and I wondered why he had gotten so upset suddenly. I hadn't thought Kankuro's remarks were coarse or rude. I thought he was just giving me a compliment. I could feel my eyebrows beginning to furrow into a puzzled look as I gazed over to Kankuro. He had his hands in the air, waving slightly; his apologetic look.

"Gomen, gomen," Kankuro said hurriedly, "I didn't mean to be like that Gaara… I just came over to ask you if I could have those mission reports and noticed that Tsubasa-san looked very appealing this morning."

"Here," Gaara said as he shoved a stack of paper at his brother, "Leave." Kankuro nodded, and I wasn't certain, but I could have sworn that he was smirking as he left my boss's office. Had he intended on making Gaara upset or was he just being stupid? It wasn't like Kankuro to be disrespectful. He had something up his sleeve but it just wasn't clear to me what it was (yet…). "Where were we?" Gaara asked me as he looked me over for a moment. Something I hadn't seen from him before flashed through his eyes and I wondered what it could be. He seemed a bit upset over what had just occurred.

"Kazekage-sama," I murmured to him, my eyes cast in a downward glance, "You seem upset… are you okay?"

"I'm fine Imamura-san," he replied softly, "Let's talk more later." He placed his hands underneath his chin, the way that I liked, and gazed over at me.

"Hai," I said and was on my way out but not before giving him a last glance. He was so… (This would be the part where I sigh like Matsuri and Kanoka do when Gaara's wearing his Kazekage garb and not his usual shinobi outfit) wonderful.

After finishing up my discussion with Gaara, I walked out of his office and then to my desk. Matsuri and Kanoka were eyeballing me, and I heard Matsuri murmuring something to Kanoka about me going into the Kazekage's office a little too much with the blinds down and that it must have been a funny sight to see Kankuro walk in on it all then leave the room wearing a goofy smirk (in which Kanoka replied by saying she liked his goofy smirk, thus making Matsuri retort with, 'You would, you skank'. The two girls then sent themselves into a giggling fit. Did the madness never end with them?). I rolled my eyes as I answered a telephone call. Surprise, surprise; it was Temari. "What can I help you with today Temari-sama?" I asked her politely, wanting to maintain my new and improved attitude.

"I'll be coming in shortly," she said brusquely, "I want my hot searing coffee to be waiting for me." Click. It didn't even bother me this time that she hadn't waited for my response. I almost laughed inwardly as I diverted my gaze to Matsuri.

"Matsuri," I said to her with a firm quality about my voice, "Temari-sama wants her hot searing coffee when she arrives, which I would guess to be in about five minutes. Make haste." I grinned to myself, loving how the words 'make haste' sounded when I was ordering Matsuri around. The little brunette didn't look excessively happy but she nodded and took off to do as she was told. Kanoka seemed to have nothing to do so I gave her a fake task. "Temari-sama also wants her dry cleaning picked up. Kanoka, be a doll and go get it for her. I'd hate to see Temari-sama disappointed… Make haste." Temari hadn't told me to pick up her dry cleaning (yet) but I knew she'd tell me to do so after she arrived. That's how Temari was. She liked to keep her assistant(s) hopping around on one foot trying to retrieve everything by performing a juggling act for her. Kanoka nodded obediently and got up to retrieve said dry cleaning. Once she closed the door behind her I could relax in my chair. I leaned back and stretched out my arms. I then made a call to check on one of Suna's magazine publishing companies. Temari had wanted one of the magazines today, a full day earlier than when they were supposed to be issued. She wanted to show off her power to obtain anything. The woman assured me that the magazine would be hand delivered to the assistant's office in an hour. I grinned because somehow my job felt a little easier that day. All I had left was some paperwork to fill out but first a letter to Saima down at the magazine company.

Dearest Darling Saima,

I was informed by Tsubasa, an assistant of mine, that you are the darling heart in which I owe my deepest gratitude to for getting me a copy of Harem Weekly a full day earlier. I wanted to extend my deep appreciation to you, and I'd like to return the favor some time. You let me know if there's anything I can do for a fabulous, sweetie such as yourself. Please don't hesitate to ask for anything. My utmost thankfulness goes out to you. Remember you have a friend in very high places.

XOXO,

Temari

I laughed out loud as I signed her name with a perfect flourish from practicing (I could sign her name, Gaara's, and Kankuro's without anyone ever suspecting it wasn't them, and I did it flawlessly). There was absolutely no way in hell Temari would write such a thing but I couldn't help myself. It wasn't like she would ever find out about the silly thank you letter and I highly doubted that the ditzy girl at Harem Weekly would ask for anything. She was only a junior assistant that had managed to pull some strings and get a copy for Temari. Still laughing, I finished up the remainder of my paperwork. Once I was through with it all, a mysterious smile appeared on my face that would linger there for the rest of the day.

Author's Note: That's the end of this chapter. Please review and share your thoughts.