The Life and Times of the Kazekage's Assistant

Disclaimer:I don't own Naruto. This story is inspired by a novel by Lauren Weisberger. I do, however, own Imamura Tsubasa, Tenchi Hoshiro, Suzuki Sorachi, Sendo Kanoka, and Kawasaki Tazuna, any other Ocs and the plot.I also own any designer brands and magazines/newspapers named.

Author's Note:I was very surprised (and pleased) to find that I had eleven reviews for the last chapter (and hopefully counting). I always try to hope for at least five reviews for each chapter to help fuel me further, but eleven is more than twice that amount. Needless to say, I'm very flattered and touched. Thank you to those who reviewed. Your reviews help inspire me to update quickly and continue this story.

Chapter Twelve: Tough Luck

That little orange jumpsuit wearing nuisance was getting on my last nerve. He was beginning to make me very, very sorry for accepting what Gaara had instructed. I ran a hand through my hair and fiddled with a tiny braid I had in it, remembering what Gaara said to me.

"Naruto will be staying with us here for two weeks. Would you mind looking after him?" Gaara had asked me that sexy voice that couldn't possibly be resisted. And his teal eyes! Oh damn those wonderful orbs of hues of greenish blue. They did awful and unspeakable things to a girl like me. They made me bend to his will… anything he asked of me I couldn't help but comply.

"I don't mind," I had answered stupidly. But could I be blamed for doing everything Gaara asked of me? I doubt there is any girl in Suna that wouldn't do what Gaara asked of them. He was simply that magnificent.

Snapping out my reverie, I decided I needed a break away from that whiskered Leaf shinobi. "Naruto," I said to him in a fake sweet voice, not bothering to add 'kun' to his name. "Why don't you go to the Desert Palms? They have a small ramen shop there," I offered to him, my smile couldn't possibly be any falsely sweeter.

"That's nice," he said to me as he narrowed his eyes to a squint, "But the ramen won't be as good as Ichiraku's."

I tried very hard not to hurt him. I really did. However, sometimes instinct just took over. "Get your ass to the Palms and stay there!" I screeched at him as I shook him by the shoulders. After realizing what I had done I took many deep breaths to calm myself. I straightened my clothes out a bit subsequent to releasing his shoulders from my clutches and said, "I mean Naruto… why don't you go busy yourself with fun things in town while I do really, really boring girl things?"

"Girl things? What kind of girl things?" he asked me as if he might be interested in accompanying me to some of them.

Though I maintained a calm composure (which was as difficult as not picturing Gaara naked), my mind was frantically searching for some girl things that would completely disgust Naruto. "Well," I told him in an air-head girly voice, "I gotta like get the nails done and the toe nails. Then I gotta like totally get my eyebrows tweezed and like shave my legs. After that I totally have to get some tampons for Matsuri because she says she is on the rag like a waterfall in the Wave Country. Oh and then I totally have to like try on a billion clothes to decided which pair of shoes goes best with which outfit. Oh AND then I have to like totally admire myself in the mirror for a good hour before going out in public again." I nearly applauded myself after that. Naruto looked completely mortified.

"You're worse than Sakura," he shouted as he took off out of Sand Castle faster than you could say 'Bitch faced Matsuri needs tampons!' I grinned as the orange jumpsuit was no longer in my view. I calmly walked to my room, deciding that I should go for a nice swim. After all, I deserved it. Taking care of Naruto was no easy task.

Wearing my ninja sandals, I walked in my bikini. I was attempting to cover myself up with a towel. I was very much embarrassed to be showing so much skin. Tazuna had been so kind as to throw away my one piece swimsuits in the trash. Then after I retrieved them she found them again. The second time she found them she chopped them all up into pieces with a pair of scissors that way I could no longer wear them. It was cruel and unusual (is how I had put it) but she insisted she had good intentions. She forced me to go shopping with her at the Coconut Hut and bought me ten different bikini swimsuits (I did, however, talk her into letting me get a one piece but it turned out to be just as revealing as the bikinis). I had to admit, I did like the bikinis she bought me (revealing or not).

The bikini I was currently trying to hide was a cute white swimsuit that showed off my desert tan (nearly everyone in Suna was tan with the exception of our palely handsome Kazekage). My whole back, equipped with a sultry tan, was completely revealed (with the exception of my behind) but Tazuna said it was good to show off a little. Basically, the cloth wrapped around my neck and then covered my boobs, revealing the sides of my stomach and my belly button as well. My whole middle of was showing. The cloth then pulled all the way to my bottoms (which was a skimpy little thing but at least it wasn't a thong). I prayed that no one would be in the pool to witness my nearly nakedness. The less people to see me dressed like that, the better.

I traveled down the stairs and went out the patio that led to the courtyard of Sand Castle. There was a lovely courtyard in the center of Sand Castle and I liked to walk through to get to the other side of the castle. It was a shortcut and the scenic route at the same time. I was sad to be at the other side of the castle so soon as I walked in through the sliding doors. When I finally got out to the backyard of Sand Castle, I breathed a sigh of relief. It was nice to have some peace and quiet. I grinned until I saw some maids rushing away from the pool area. It made me wonder if something was wrong and I cursed myself inwardly for leaving my two Akomeogi in my room.

"Hey," I called to one of the maids, "Why are you guys all leaving the pool area?"

"Kazekage-sama is in it," she said to me, "We like to leave him to himself to relax… Even Matsuri-san and Kanoka-san don't venture to the pool area when he's there." I gave her a nod to dismiss but I couldn't help but think how stupid that sounded. The pool area was for all of Sand Castle's staff to enjoy (it was big enough to fit all of Sand Castle's staff at once with much room to spare), from the Kazekage to the maids and chefs. I didn't see why it couldn't be shared simultaneously. Gaara always seemed to be alone and it made me wonder if he ever grew lonely…

Poor guy, I thought as I continued my walk over, He probably would like some company.

I put on a perky smile as I entered the pool area. The Kazekage was swimming a couple laps around the pool. His broad shoulders looked even greater when they were doing the butterfly stroke. My overly perky smile turned into a fond one as I set my things down (my sunscreen, my goggles, and my towel). I carefully removed my ninja sandals and left them on top of one of the lounge chairs next to my other items. I dipped my toes into the shallow end of the pool just as Gaara had finished up his laps. I was about up to my knees in water when he looked over at me.

"Konnichiwa Kaze… Gaara-sama," I said to him, nearly forgetting that he preferred it when I called him by his name rather than his Kage title. "Do you mind if I swim with you?" I felt a blush spread across my cheeks and immediately tried to suppress it but that never worked when I was around Gaara.

"By all means," he said to me with his soft and amazing voice. His hair looked so undeniably sexy when it was wet. "Go ahead."

"Arigato," I murmured as I went halfway into the pool. I sat on one of the steps in the shallow end of the pool and then looked back to him, smiling.

"You said swim not sit," he pointed out with a slightly amused look.

"I'll swim once I get used to the water," I said to him as I raised one of my eyebrows. He swam over, drawing near me. I could feel my heart thumping like a beaver's tail (when it's slapping it's against the water to warn all the other beavers danger was near), and danger was near. I was on the verge of a heart attack as Gaara took a seat on the steps next to me. He looked just deliciously appealing with his hair dripping wet. It could make a happily married woman swoon like a hormone ridden, boy crazy, teenage girl.

"I'll wait then," he said to me softly as he gazed into my eyes, they wandered downward for a brief moment but then flickered back up. I could feel the blush approaching and by Kami; I would stop it this time! I dipped my fingers into the water and dripped some of the residual water onto my face. This cooled my cheeks down, but only slightly. "You enjoyed the festival?"

"I enjoyed it very much," I replied gently as I wrapped my hands around my knees, hugging them slightly. His eyes seemed to float lower than what was considered eye contact again and I wasn't sure what he was looking at. I lowered my legs back into the water and I brushed a hand across my chest (around my clavicle, not my boobs) in case there was something there he might have been looking at but there wasn't.

"Next festival is Hearts Grow. You don't have to accompany me if you don't want to… You should go with a date," he offered quietly as he gazed out to the pool. I placed my arms around my knees again to hug them to my chest.

"But I don't want a date, I want you," is what I wanted to say to him so badly but I didn't. I couldn't bring myself to but at least I wasn't too much of a coward because I did manage to stutter something out of those stupid pouty lips of mine. "Gaara-sama… I always thought that… well…"

Spit it out Tsubasa, I thought to myself angrily.

My nails were digging into my knees practically! "I've thought of you as my date when I attend with you… Excuse me please if I shouldn't have," I murmured in a low voice (a scared to death voice). Did I really just say that? I guess I did because he was staring back into my eyes and he almost seemed a bit happy at the thought that I considered him to be my date (a date that is not a date because he didn't really ask me to be his date; just his assistant).

His lips curved into a small smile as he spoke his next words. "Would you like to be my date to Hearts Grow then?" Now I wasn't sure if I hallucinated that part or not so I stayed quiet. If I didn't answer he might repeat the question. If I did answer he might have asked me to go watch Naruto and I just imagined a completely different question. I wasn't about to screw myself over by agreeing to something I would regret. "Tsubasa-san?"

"I'm sorry I think I just… spaced out," I said, quickly coming up with an excuse. "What was it you asked me… said?"

"I asked you if you'd like to be my date to Hearts Grow…" He was speaking in such a soft voice; I nearly melted as the sound reached my undeserving ears. I noticed a strange look in his eyes and recognized it instantly; fear of rejection. He had now subjected himself to either be accepted or rejected. He had put himself out on the line, so to speak. I remembered Tazuna's party and how I had sort of rejected him there. He wasn't good with a rejection (but then who was?), I had noticed.

"I'd like that very much," I responded finally in an almost inaudible whisper. I couldn't help myself; I was so shy in front of him at times. I found myself so flustered when around him and my ruffled feathers hardly helped me in getting me closer to him.

"There you are," said a voice and I cringed because I knew who that voice belonged to. I turned around to see Naruto standing there in his swim trunks. He was smirking as he looked down to me and Gaara. "You didn't say flirting was one of the girl things you had to do," he exclaimed and then cannon balled into the pool. If I was lucky, he wouldn't resurface. If I was lucky he would just drown. I wasn't lucky. He popped his little blonde head out of the water and swam over to Gaara and me. I was so embarrassed at the moment that I could find nothing to say to explain myself. "So Gaara... any hot girls around here?" Naruto asked and surprisingly, I wasn't surprised (hah, an oxymoron). However, I couldn't lie. I was definitely eager to here Gaara's reply.

"You'd have to ask my brother about that," said Gaara with a slight shrug of the shoulders, "I wouldn't know." I was so grateful to hear that Gaara wasn't visiting any harem strip clubs like his brother Kankuro. Now Kankuro could be a dog sometimes. It was the best news to hear that Gaara didn't do things like his older brother did.

"So who's the hottest of all the assistants?" Naruto asked suddenly, a wide grin on his whiskered face. If I were to just pretend like it was an accident, could I strangle him? "Matsuri-san is cute but she's a slut, neh? Kanoka-san is pretty as well but way too infatuated with Kankuro to notice any other guy… Tsubasa-san is beautiful and single with no sign of attachment 'ttebayo." Naruto glanced at me and gave me a wink. What the hell was he getting at?

"I think you just answered your own question then," Gaara said finally. It was a smart answer. It saved me from being angry if he selected Matsuri or Kanoka over me and it saved from embarrassment and timid bashfulness if he didn't.

"Ah, I guess I did, didn't I?" Naruto then looked at me again. "So who do you think is cute Tsubasa-san?" That little… booger. That's what he was! He was a snot! A little itty bitty booger snot.

"I think you're cute Naruto-kun," I said to him in a flirty voice, "Who wouldn't?"

"Really?" he asked me, clearly surprised. He then changed his attitude to a more egotistical one. "I knew it… All the girls like me," he said triumphantly and I rolled my eyes. I think Gaara caught me. I was glad he did so he would know that I was joking with Naruto. "Poor Gaara… She doesn't think you're as cute as me!" Gaara chuckled softly for a brief moment. That's when I noticed it again except Naruto was the one doing it now. His eyes floated to my chest area and realization hit me. He was staring at my boobs; my cleavage! He was trying to get a sneak peak at things that were mine!

"Are you staring at my chest?" I asked him in a growl as I stood up. I nearly felt the wind knocked out of me as I realized something else. Gaara had been doing the same thing but he was just more subtle about it. Even though they were being the perverts, I felt like the idiot for saying anything without any chance of saving grace. I clenched my fists in sheer anger; another moment lost due to my grace under fire deficiency. "You… little… pervert," I hissed at him angrily.

Oh shit, I thought to myself, you're blowing it Tsubie!

"'Bout time you noticed," grunted Naruto, not at all bothered by the fact that I had just called him out. "I've been staring and so has—"

"Naruto," Gaara hastily said, "I think its best if I have Kanoka or Matsuri tend to you from now on." I was amused at the fact that Gaara was getting nervous. I already knew what the ending to Naruto's sentence would have been. He would have finished by saying that Gaara has been sneaking peaks at my chest as well, thus rendering Gaara quite embarrassed (better him than me for a change).

Yes, I thought, let the little bitch face watch over him and be tortured.

I almost immediately regretted it. Though Naruto deserved to be stuck with bitch face and bitch face deserved to be stuck with him, I didn't want Matsuri corrupting Naruto's naïve and innocent mind (yes innocent because he obviously had never got laid even if he had said otherwise). "I'm leaving," I said, unable to take anymore idiocy for one afternoon. "Forgive me Gaara-sama but I'm going to be taking the day off…"

"That's fine," he murmured gently as I arose from the pool. I walked over to my towel and tried to ignore Naruto's wolf whistling. It pissed me off even more that he was whistling for two reasons. One reason was that it was rude and perverted. The second reason was that Kiba used to do it to me when he and I were dating, and I had found it attractive and appealing of him. I clutched my towel and wrung out my hair. I then wrapped around my shoulders to warm up from there after drying my body off.

As I stormed off I heard Naruto say, "She's a real babe Gaara… don't you think?" Stampeding elephants would be jealous of how hard my heart was pounding against my chest. I almost couldn't hear Gaara's answer because my heart beating was now sounding off in my head like a timely metronome (just a lot faster). I was even angrier at Naruto because instead of waiting for Gaara to answer he said something more. As if he hadn't said enough! "I think she's hot," I heard Naruto say with a chuckle. "I should ask her out, huh? Maybe I'll ask her for Hearts Grow and then come back to pay another visit!"

Oh please, I thought to myself as I slowed my walk into an angry 'I'm storming off' to a steady turtle pace, Gaara say something. Tell him I'm going with you.

"I had asked her," Gaara said quietly. I almost leapt for joy but then he added, "But she didn't give me an answer…" Give him an answer? I gave him his damn answer! It was yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, and YES! My heart just sank down to the elephant graveyard to lay down for good this time. He hadn't heard me. My 'almost inaudible whisper' really was an inaudible whisper. This was the worst thing that could have ever happened to me… ever.

"I guess she doesn't like you much then 'ttebayo," said Naruto cheerily. His expression softened for a moment (I know because I had hid behind some bush to spy on them). "Tough luck 'ttebayo. I guess she really does like me more… I'm going to catch up to her and ask her right now."

Yes, I thought, I had a chance to reject his little ass and crush his hopes like he had crushed mine. Oh sweet revenge…

"Tsuuubaasaaa-saan!"

I quickly high tailed it out of my hiding place and pretended to be still storming off. I felt a hand on my shoulder within a few seconds and knew it was Naruto. "Can I help you?" I asked him with an attitude; he was to naïve to realize that I was using one with him.

"I was wondering Tsubasa-chan… Would you like to be my Hearts Grow date?" he asked me. There was so much hope in his eyes. That look reminded me of someone… Oh yeah me. This is where I would crush it right out of him.

"Naruto… its kind of you to offer but I'm already going with Gaara," I replied to him sweetly. It wasn't straight out destruction but I could see his resilience beginning to fade and I could see his hope dying out like a tiny ember. I resisted the strong urge I had to cackle, "Mwuahahahaha!"

"Oh…" His eyes fell. It meant my plan was working. "Next time then," he said cheerily. I didn't understand how his optimism just floated out of his ass (almost like chakra).

"We'll see," I said, praying that Gaara and I would be married with a billion children whenever 'next time' came around but that was definitely ridiculous. Naruto gave me a nod (glanced one last time at my chest) and ran back to the pool, telling me he'd see my cute self later or something like that. I would have ran after him and kicked him in a place that I call 'the nutters' but that was yet another urge I managed to resist no matter how intense it was. Instead, I quickly ran back to my previous hiding place to listen in on the conversation between him and Gaara.

"Gaara," I heard Naruto say in a false angry tone. I immediately knew that Naruto was pretending to be mad at my beloved Kazekage (well not really mine but I wish he was). "You lied to me." I could tell that Gaara had chosen to remain quiet rather than respond to the comment. He wasn't going to deny and seem guilty; I knew this to be true. "You said that Tsubasa-chan didn't give you an answer… She told me that you were her date to Hearts Grow."

Peaking through the bush I was hiding in, I could see a wave of relief wash over Gaara's face. Perhaps he really did like me… Nah. He was probably upset that he had finally gotten a date for something (because he had told me he didn't date) and then Naruto was going to take that away from him. He should be relieved that he had a date after all. What a burn it would have been if Naruto were to snatch me right from under Gaara's nose! "Tough luck," I heard Gaara muse as I caught him looking over at my great (poorly picked) hiding place. I felt so embarrassed for the fact that he was staring over at me; he knew I was eavesdropping. His eyes went to Naruto. He had one more thing to say. "I guess she likes me more," he stated with a small smile and then he glanced over to my bush's direction but by then, I was already running back to my room (embarrassed enough for the day).

As I fell into my very comfortable bed, I couldn't help but grin. For a moment I thought I was delirious because I knew it wasn't really a grinning matter (it was an 'OMG I'm so embarrassed and will never live this down' matter). Yet there I lay, grinning like an idiot. Was there a chance… just a small chance that Gaara was maybe the slightest fond of me? I hugged one of my pillows tightly to my chest. I sniffed the pillow to smell its fresh scent. It smelled like sakura blossoms and I felt at peace as I remembered the events that took place only two days ago.

Maybe, I thought with a dreamy smile, Gaara isn't just slightly fond of me… but really fond of me…

Author's Note: The end is here. I hope that the chapter was entertaining and humorous. I really enjoyed writing it. Naruto can be such a pest. I want you all to know that even though Tsubasa isn't too fond of Naruto, I personally really, really love him. He's my absolute favorite :')

Anyway, the reason Naruto and Tsubasa don't get along so well is because I usually make my OC his friend or even a love interest. I wanted Tsubasa to be different and find him rather annoying. I think he'll one day grow on her though. He's got a knack for that.

Review and tell me what you think of Naruto. Do you find him annoying? Do you love him as much as I do or hate him as much as Tsubasa does? Do you think that Naruto should play even more tricks on Tsubasa and keep up his prankster reputation? Let me know!