Chapter 5: Burn the Witch

"The man I loved is dead."

"How did he die?"

"He left me for another woman and so, I killed him."

"Why did you kill him?"

"To complete the curse."

"What curse?"

"The curse of the snow woman."

"Why did she curse you?"

"Her lover left her for me."

"Was he the same man who left you?"

"Yes."

"What did the snow woman say?"

"That my lover will leave me and I will kill him."

"What happens when you kill him?"

"My heart will become like hers."

"What is her heart like?"

"An innocent heart filled with sadness."

"Why did you complete the curse?"

"I share her pain, but not her innocence".

"What do you mean by 'not her innocence'?"

"When he left her, she cried of sadness because she knew he chose another. When he left me, I cried of joy because I knew I was going to kill him…"

A few months into living with the Shinsengumi, they were beginning to trust her little by little. It all started when Saitou gave her a list of chores she had to do. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping, and tailoring. She happily accepted the chores forgetting that she was in a different era. Everything here was done by hand, so she greatly struggled to complete even one task. The captains eventually started taking turns to teach her how each chore was done. They were happy to see she was an excellent student. She listened carefully, and took mental notes. Within those weeks, she managed to learn how to do many of the things herself. Saitou also told her that if anyone asked why she lived there she was Hijikata's younger sister and to tell others to call her by her first name, so she wouldn't 'get confused'. Because she was treated with special attention, and her constant failures made her seem like a child, the lie was easily accepted as truth and the captains started to show some familiarity

Today it was her turn to cook and she wanted to show off to everyone that she can finally cook on her own. What she did not tell them was that somehow, her magic was beginning to grow much stronger than when she first came. Sometimes things will move on their own, or when she was searching for something it will appear right next to her. Other times words would escape her lips, and she would cast a type of spell that made her tasks less difficult. She was scared that the little progress she made would be reversed if they found out.

"Incendere ignis," she whispered, and there was fire on the stove. She quickly clasped her hands over her mouth, shocked that she had said such a thing. It had happened several times before, but each time she would feel horrified. She did not know what the words meant or how she knew them. She was afraid that someone might see her or that she would say the wrong thing and hurt them. She was afraid to get hurt, reject, killed, or humiliated. Here they trusted her, here they accepted her, here they treated her like another human being, here she was safe. Am I? The thought left her just as fast as it came to her. She needed to focus on dinner. The men can get quite rowdy if dinner wasn't served on time. She felt honored that the men enjoyed her cooking when she made it correctly. She even stared adding a little more or less of the ingredients to make the taste more satisfying and her cooking experiments usually worked.

She decided to cook nakujaga today. Her father taught her how to make it. It technically wasn't invented until later in this century, but a little earlier wouldn't hurt the course of history, especially considering how her mere presence here has already changed it. She took out the ingredients she needed from the cabinet and began chopping them away. She may have come across clumsy, but that was only because she had no idea how things worked in this era. She was actually good at doing the chores since she and her mother lived alone and her mother was horrible at things like these. She smiled proudly at herself as she put the vegetables in the boiling pot of water. She began stirring it when she remembered that she had forgotten about the noodles. She searched for them desperately hoping the vegetables in the pot wouldn't burn. Once she found the noodles, she was happy to see the food didn't burn. She put the noodles inside, stirred for a while more, and then began making the rice. She finished early today, but that was a good thing, now the food had a chance to cool down.

At last dinner time came. She placed the pots and plates outside for the soldiers to serve themselves. The captains all helped serve the men and Hijikata gave the men the usual lecture, 'if any man doesn't finish his food, he will have to do all of Akira's chores for a whole week.' The punishment on its own wasn't so bad, but when added to their regular routine, they did not get enough rest and their stamina wouldn't hold. After the soldiers ate she went on to place the captains' trays in their respected place. As they ate, they themselves became lively. They talked about the hooligans they beat up and the beautiful woman they saw. They teased and played and Akira laughed. She always felt like she was at home with the captains. They were her fathers and brothers at once. She didn't know how she even lived a life without them back at her time.

"Did you make any progress on that translation, Akira-chan," asked Heisuke. It was now often teased that Akira and Heisuke probably were probably siblings by the way they knew what the other was thinking before they even said anything.

Akira replied to Heisuke with a smile, "I did. Ni-hi-su, nivis, means snow. So now we have gu-ra-di-o of the Lord of snow and cherries." Everyone was glad at the small progress. It might not seem like much, but the Shinsengumi already knew that whatever their enemies were looking for had the titles of Snow and Cherries, so they could get rid of anything that was just one of the things and not both.

"Speaking of which, how did you figure it out?" asked Shinpachi. He liked making conversation with her, even if was just about nonsense. He grew fond of the girl during her time here. He was the only captain who had patted her head when she got something right. He once told her it was because he always wanted a little sister.

"I was playing with the pronunciations of the word based on the Latin routes, when I came across nivis. It just made more sense than any of the other things I thought of."

Harada looked at her suspiciously. "Was that really all you were doing?" he questioned her. Usually Harada and Shinpachi were on the same page on nearly everything, the great exception being Akira. He didn't trust her. Ever since she admitted she had the powers of a witch, although only because of her bloodline, he took a strong dislike towards her. When it used to be his turn to help her, he would always be wary of her and never allowed her to escape his sight. Shinpachi told her it was because a witch killed one of his lovers that he was planning to marry. He didn't give any more details than that.

"I'm telling the truth," she stared into his eyes like she always did with Saitou. He tsk-ed and that was the end of the conversation…at least that's what she thought.

"Are you sure," Okita teased," I saw how you were making the spoons stir the pot all on its own when you were making dinner."

Everyone choked, spit, or stopped eating as they all turned to look at her. Akira herself had a look of shock on her face. She never saw the spoons move on their own.

"Is this true?" demanded Hijikata.

"I-I never saw the spoons move," she replied. She hoped her indirect answer would go unnoticed however; nothing went unnoticed in Saitou's eyes.

"You did not answer the question," he pointed out. He gazed into her eyes and knew she was hiding something, something important.

She lowered her voiced, "I don't know." She squeezed her hands together. It was a habit she developed when she felt uncomfortable with something. Not scared, or nervous, just uncomfortable. Almost like she had a bad feeling about something.

"What do you mean you don't know," Harada growled.

"Calm down Sano," Shinpachi cautioned his friend. "Please explain Akira-chan," he encouraged.

She kept her eyes on the floor mats. She didn't want to say it. It made her feel like she was back in Europe, in her era. The other children would yell, burn the witch! Burn her alive! They didn't mean it; they were only children but once they got older, their words became more and more frightening. The words echoed in her head. "It sometimes happens," she said softly, "usually when I'm by myself. Things move on their own. There are times when I notice and other times I don't, but when I do notice I try to stop it."

She quickly glanced into each of their eyes. She knew those eyes. They're scared. Of her and her potential power. Of what kind of things she could do to them. Of the truth that she was a witch. It pained her to see that the people she was learning to love were slipping away because of this cursed power she was born with. She felt hurt and defeated. Just like that time. What was 'last time'? She didn't know. She only knew that she has had this familiar feeling of loss before.

Hijikata cleared his throat to break the silence. "Well now that that's settled, let's finish our dinner," or so he said, but even Hijikata was hesitant to touch his dinner.

Akira knew this feeling far too well. The tension in the air, difficulty of breathing, avoiding her eyes. They were forcing themselves. Even Shinpachi and Heisuke whom she had developed a sister-like relationship with couldn't look at her. Abscondere tristitia, she muttered.

Heisuke looked up at her, once he realized this, he turned away again. "Hey did you say something," he asked staring at the floor.

If Heisuke would have looked up, he would have seen that she gave him a kind, serene smile. "No, not all," she lied. She got up and picked up her tray. "I need to put down the sheets from the laundry. Just leave the trays in the kitchen like always; I'll clean them up later." Heisuke nodded his head. When Akira finished with the sheets, she went back to the kitchen. All the plates were already washed and there were traces of food in the trash. She felt the pain in heart again.

"Abscondere tristitia," she said aloud but the pain was still there.

"Abscondere tristitia," she tried again as the tears were building up in her eyes.

"Abscondere tristitia, abscondere tristitia!" The more she insisted, the less effective it was. She slid down the wall and ended sitting on the floor. Her mother had told her that a witch has to be calm to cast a spell; otherwise the spell might not work. Akira knew that, but she desperately wanted it to work. She didn't want to feel like this. Tears slid down her cheeks, sobs escaped her lips. She felt like she lost him again. She cried in the darkness by herself.

"I wanna go home. Mommy, come take me home!" she called out in the middle of the night, knowing she would never go back home.

"Who's there?" called Saitou's cold voice.

Akira's heart froze. In the briefest moment, she calmed herself and whispered once more, "abscondere tristitia."

She wiped her tears and stood up. "Sorry Saitou-san. I finished with the sheets so I came here to wash the dishes, but I found they were already washed." She smiled a peaceful smile, a smile full of lies. She knew that. She knew he would see through it. She practically wished for it. She wanted to be called a liar and asked why she was lying. She wanted it.

"I see," he said and walked away.

He didn't even bother to search her eyes. He merely glanced in her direction and then turned away. I see. Now these were the words which echoed her mind. It wasn't rejection. It wasn't death. It wasn't humiliation. She simply no longer existed. Look at me, she thought. Look into my eyes like you always do. Tell me I'm a liar. Tell me to tell you the truth...

"Tell me you're not scared of me," she whispered into the emptiness of the kitchen.

When she returned to her room the spell was broken, but so was she. Streams of tears fell down her cheeks again. Cold, blue lights began to emerge from around the room. They slowly began to swirl around her, each of them softly landing onto her skin creating a layer of light.

"Dues spatii et temporis, placere

Me reduceret

Ubi i felix fuit."

Voices screamed in fear and confusing. She heard Hijikata yelling orders and the other captains did the same as they were trying to calm their men.

"We have to get Akira from her room before the flames spread!" she heard. It was a soldier.

How kind, she thought, that a soldier cares for my well-being.

"Leave that witch to burn alive! We have to get out of here!" this time it was Harada's voice.

"But…" began the soldier, but he didn't finish.

Akira looked at the roof above her. The place was burning and they were leaving her to burn with it. How fitting… for a witch, she thought. The flames that were to burn her never touched her as she disappeared. To where? Not the past, or the future. She was still in this present, but in a place where she was happy. Happy inside her own lies, waiting for the truth to tear her apart again.

Author's Note:

I know it sounds so depressing and I skipped time a little too fast, oopsy, but I needed it for the next chapter. I'm actually in a depressing mood right now, so yeah. Beware of possibly more depressing stuff. And before I forget (I forget things really easily), here is the translations :D

"Abscondere tristitia" - Hide Sadness

"Dues spatii et temporis, placere - God of Space and Time, please

Me reduceret - Take me back

Ubi i felix fuit." - When I was happy

Why did I have to choose these stupid words T-T