Chapter 21: Behind Those Eyes

3 days before the trial

John raised his fist to knock on the door of his current fiancée's home. He was still really pissed off that she had lied to him. His fist stopped half way, was he sure he really wanted to end everything this way. He took a breath and knocked he waited for a few minutes before Kelly's bright face greeted him.

"Hey baby what are you doing here?" she went to give him a kiss. He moved away from her before she could.

"What's going on?" She asked confused by his refusal of her kiss.

"We need to talk" his voice was cold and unfeeling.

She stepped away from the door and allowed him to enter. He noticed right away the casts that had been placed over both her hands.

"What happened?" he asked gesturing to her hands.

"Your psycho baby's mama attacked me with a baseball bat and shattered both of my hands which I needed to have immediate reconstructive surgery on"

"Now what would make Ash want to come all the way from Australia to do that?" John feigned ignorance.

"Gee I don't know she's crazy and always has been" was Kelly's reply.

"It wouldn't have anything to do with this would it?" John asked pulling the tape recorder out of his pocket.

Kelly's face paled at the sight of the oh so familiar object. "John I can explain"

"Well that's nice to know … cause I'm kinda confused" he ran a hand through his short hair.

"I … I just told her that so she wouldn't hit me with the bat again" Kelly lied.

"I don't believe you … damn it Kelly just tell the truth"

"What do you want me to say" she looked at the ground.

"The truth would be nice you and I both know Ashley wouldn't attack you if she didn't have a reason"

"Fine I lied is that what you wanted to hear" she crossed her arms in a prissy manner.

"I just don't understand why would you do something so hurtful … I lost almost a whole year with my son because of your lie"

"Why did I do it John … THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT TO KNOW" she began to yell at him "MAYBE BECAUSE YOU HAD YOUR HEAD SO FAR UP ASHLEY'S ASS I THOUGHT I WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO GET IT OUT UNLESS I DID SOMETHING DRASTIC"

"Kelly you messed with people's lives and it sounds like you feel no remorse at all"

"I did what I had to do and you know what it worked Ashley left and I got you all to myself"

"Well guess what princess we are done … finished … broken up"

"John what does breaking up with me serve Ashley is still with my cousin?"

"She may be with your cousin but at least this way I can be with someone who doesn't lie and cheat to get what she wants because she feels a little threatened and another thing I was going to break up with you that day and not only was I going to break up with you but I was going to apologize to you for cheating on you with Ashley while we were is Massachusetts telling my parents about Phinnigan but you know what I have never been happier about it then right now"

"You cheated on me?" Kelly asked shocked.

"You bet your ass I did" he smiled cockily.

"We can work this out you know … I forgive you for cheating on me I really do"

"How about hell fucking no"

"John please don't leave me I love you" she begged.

"You need some serious help" he said making his way to the door.

"Johnny … you don't want to leave me" she said in a seductive tone pulling down her shirt a little to give him a view of what he would be walking away from.

"I have been wanting to say this for quite a long time … go back to the doctor who gave you those and sue him for everything he is worth because that is the worst boob job I have ever seen in my life" with that he walked out of the door and made his way to his car. She was standing in the doorway watching him go and in that moment she swore she would get her revenge on Ashley and John if it was the last thing she did.

Day of the trial

Phinnigan fussed as Ashley tried her best to fix the tie he was wearing. Although he would not be in the court room with them today he would be staying with a social worker until custody was decided.

"You look very handsome little man" Ashley just looked at him and she could feel the tears stinging her eyelids. She blinked them away and focused on the task of dressing her son for what could very well be the last time.

"Phinney come here so I can talk to you for a sec" Ashley patted the spot next to her on the bed. Phinnigan walked away from the mirror he had been looking at himself in and had a seat next to his mom.

He seemed to know something was off today. He placed his little hand in her much larger one. She kissed his hand and let it rest on the bed.

"I have to tell you something ok and you might not understand it but I need to say it anyways so just listen to me ok" he looked at her with a quizzical expression on his face. He scrunched his eyes as if deep in thought but his gaze remained on his mother.

"Today me and Shane and your daddy are going to court today" she explained to him "I know you have no idea what court is but these people are trying to take you away from us but we are fighting as hard as we possibly can to keep you because we love you"

"You have no idea what I am saying to you do you?" she asked, he nodded his head.

"Well no matter what I want you to remember that I love you very much and that even if we are apart I will always be with you right here" she placed her hand over his heart. He placed his hand over hers and they just sat there for a few minutes.

There was a knock on the door and Ashley called for whoever it was to come in. A very somber looking Randy came walking into the room.

"How are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm ok for the moment"

"Ranny!" Phinnigan hopped off the bed and ran to hug his uncle's leg.

Randy picked the small boy up and tipped him over so that Randy was holding onto his legs and his head was dangling freely.

"You are going to hurt his head doing that" Ashley warned him.

"The kid loves it … listen he's laughing" he contradicted her.

She just rolled her eyes; Randy placed Phinnigan back onto the floor.

"More" Phinnigan pleaded using the sign language her had learned that meant more.

"Later baby we have to get going" Ashley told him.

"Everyone is waiting in the family room for us" Randy told Ashley as the 3 made their way to the first floor.

"Who is everyone?" she asked.

"Everyone … you know like the whole family" Randy reiterated.

When Randy said everyone he wasn't kidding. John and his parents and brothers were there. Along with Shane parents and Stephanie and Paul. Ashley's dad and Lilian were there with her two brothers. Courtney and Becky and Isabella were also present.

"There's my boy" John walked over to Ashley, they exchanged glances before she handed the toddler to his dad.

Phinnigan looked around at all the people and then his attention returned back to John. He smiled at his dad before resting his head on his shoulder. He stuck his thumb into his mouth and closed his eyes.

"Someone is tired" Stephanie observed.

"Well that could be because he was up all night crying because someone's son who shall remain nameless told Phinnigan he had to go away forever because he got mad at him for stealing his toy and then his father laughed his ass off about it"

"What … he's 5, he doesn't know any better" Randy defended his son.

"You are such an idiot" Courtney smacked Randy's shoulder.

"Woman why are you hitting me" Randy retorted.

"Because you are a dumbass" Courtney replied hitting him again.

"Carol can you please tell her to stop hitting me?" he begged his best friend's mother.

"Sorry Randy but my grandson is exhausted and somehow it is your fault"

"Yeah well my son is a good boy" Randy defended his son once again.

"Keep telling yourself that buddy and maybe you will get yourself to believe it" Ashley kidded him.

"You know what I hate you all!" Randy exclaimed.

"We should be going soon" Shane said gazing at his watch.

"Ok but I refuse to ride with Randy in the car" Ashley said.

"Like I would want to go in a car with you" Randy crossed his arms over his chest irritatedly.

"Ok kids that's enough" Chris decided to play referee before Ashley and Randy made each other cry which they had done before on numerous occasions.

"This isn't over" Ashley walked off.

"Just bring it baby anytime"

John just shook his head as he followed Ashley out of the house. He helped her put Phinnigan into his car seat. Phinnigan woke up as soon as he was put into the chair and he looked around confused.

"Hey buddy it's ok" John tried to ease his son's worry.

"Dada" he said holding out his tiny arms.

Both Ashley and John stopped what they were doing to look at the toddler. Phinnigan began to whine and held out his arms wanting to be picked up again.

"He just called me Dada … did you hear that" John grinned from ear to ear.

"Yeah great" Ashley muttered mentally going over everything before they got to the court house. She was leaning against the car door flipping through a spiral notebook.

"A little more excitement would be nice"

"Sorry I'm kinda concerned that we might not be bringing him back home" she retorted.

"We will so just relax"

"Damn it!" she exclaimed reaching into her the messenger bag she was wearing. Besides her notebook she also had an album she had made for Phinnigan and also carefully tucked towards the back was a bottle of tequila.

"Give me that" he snatched the cigarette away from her "you wanna give yourself cancer then fine but you won't be doing it near my son"

"Buzz off" she said.

"Sorry honey but you are stuck with me all day" he slung his arm around her shoulders.

"Don't you have to go call Kelly or something?" she asked taking his arm off of her.

"Nope I don't think she wants me to call her after I broke up with her and told her that her boobs were not only fake but horrible"

Ashley's mouth fell open "You did what!"

"Well I confronted her and she told me she lied and I broke up with her and then the crazy bitch had the audacity to tell me that we could work it out"

Ashley couldn't help but start to laugh. John laughed as well because he even had to admit that after the fact Kelly's face when he called her on her boob job was priceless. He enjoyed hearing Ashley laugh again.

"Friends?" he asked putting his hand out for her to shake.

"Come here you ass" she gave him a hug.

"Don't think that I have completely forgiven you for everything I'm just willing to try to make amends" she said pulling away from him.

"Anything is better than not having you in my life at all I know that now" he said.

"But I will admit I would have loved to be a fly on the wall when you told Kelly off" she cracked a little smile.

The rest of the people started filing out of the front door by now.

"Babe I'm going to catch a ride with my parents to show them where to go" Shane said.

"It's cool I suppose Jackass over here can ride with me"

"Shot gun" Ashley could hear Randy yell somewhere in the distance.

"Everything is going to be ok today so don't worry" Shane whispered to her. They were the only two people who weren't in cars.

"Thank you for supporting me even though I've been so crazy lately" she wrapped her arms around his neck and embraced him tightly. He rubbed her back a little and kissed the top of her head.

"I know this is really tough for you and I don't blame you for going off the deep end for a little bit" he said "all I care about is that you are back and Phinnigan comes home with us tonight"

"I love you" she said.

"I love you too" he gave her a quick peck on the lips.

They parted and each got into their perspective car. John was resting his head against the window when Ashley got into the car. Phinnigan had drifted back to sleep in the time they had been outside talking.

"I'm scared John … we could really loose him today" she admitted.

"I am too but we need to stay positive for Phin's sake because if he senses something is wrong it's just going to be harder for him no matter what"

"I was thinking Phin could spend some time with you at your house" she said pulling out of the driveway.

"Really?" John asked trying not to sound too excited.

"Yeah, after everything is said and done I'm going to rehab" she told him.

"Rehab for what?" he asked.

"You haven't heard I'm a drunk … not only am I a drunk I'm a big time drunk"

"Damn what the hell have you been doing since I took some time off"

"Well according to everyone getting drunk and partying like Britney Spears"

"I miss all the good stuff" he pretended to whine "but seriously if that's what you need to do then I support you all the way and Phin will be fine with me I'll take good care of him"

"I want to say I'm sorry John … I guess the fact that I might have to live without my son made me realize how hard it must have been for you to live without him"

"I'm not going to lie to you I was hurting really badly for a long time not having both of you in my life but I understand why you needed to get away, what Kelly did was inexcusable she took your one weakness and used it against all of us"

Ashley stopped at a red light and took a moment to glance at her son in the rearview mirror.

"He looks like an angel when he sleeps" she mused.

"Yeah he does" John agreed.

They pulled into the parking lot of the court house and could see paparazzi everywhere. Ashley began to panic, she and John made it very clear that Phinnigan remained out of the public eye.

"What is going on?" Ashley asked clearly beginning to panic.

"Ash relax I have a plan" John said taking off his suit jacket.

He got out of the car and went to the backseat to grab Phinnigan. He gently picked Phinnigan up and put his coat over him so he couldn't be seen.

"I'm going to kill Vince" Ashley said through gritted teeth as she got out of the car.

Cameras started going off as soon as she did. People came running over to her sticking tape recorders and microphones in her face.

"Ashley are you worried about loosing your son?" Someone asked.

"We are going to do everything we can to keep Phinnigan with us" was all she would say.

"Can we get a picture of the boy?" someone else asked.

"We would like to protect our son's privacy so no pictures at this time" John said helping Ashley move through the crowd.

"We will answer all your questions after" John said still fighting his way through the mob.

They met with Randy and Shane who helped get them into the building safely. Everyone was waiting for them in the foyer of the out building. Ashley looked around the interior was in desperate need of a paint job.

"Vince why are there paparazzi outside?" Ashley asked.

"Don't look at me I have no idea" he replied.

"I need a cigarette" she said stepping away from the group.

"I'll keep you company Ash" Randy said putting an arm around her.

"I thought you quit smoking" Ashley said after Randy asked to bum a cigarette off of her.

"I did but sometimes when I have a million things going on at once it's a nice stress reliever" he said bringing the cigarette to his lips.

"Yeah tell me about it"

"So how are you doing?" he asked concerned about her state of mind.

"I've been better" she replied.

"You wanna tell me what you are thinking"

"I'm scared Rans, Phinnigan is my whole world and if I loose him I know I'll go off the deep end"

"You won't loose him I promise you that" he assured her.

"Don't make promises you can't keep Randal" she threw her cigarette bud on the ground and stepped on it.

"Have I ever lied to you before?"

"Yes … multiple times"

"Well I'm not lying this time you won't loose him your family won't let that happen" he gave her a hug.

"When did you become my protector" she rested her head against his chest.

"A very long time ago" he kissed the top of her head "we are all worried about you kiddo"

"Once this whole thing is all over I'll be back to my old self I promise" they broke apart and he grabbed her hand and they walked back into the court house.

Phinnigan had woken up by now and he was sitting with his grandpa John. Ashley found herself to be suddenly cold so she wrapped her arms around her tiny frame to keep from shivering.

"You ok?" Shane asked.

"Yeah just a little cold" she said.

Shane took off his suit jacket and handed it to his girlfriend. She smiled at him and gratefully placed the jacket around herself. Shane put his arm around her and they just stood there comforting each other. The front doors to the courtroom opened and a two teens walked in they were followed by two sets of adults who Ashley assumed were their parents. The young woman looked up in time to lock eyes with Ashley. She found herself looking into eyes that were twins of her son's.

"Phinnigan's birth mother" she whispered to herself.

The young girl offered her a sad smile as her parents ushered her away. A few seconds later Ashley found herself greeting the social worker who would be staying with Phinnigan while everything was decided.

Ashley kneeled down so she was the same size as Phinnigan.

"I love you so much" she gave him a kiss and a hug "be a good boy for this nice lady ok"

It was John's turn now to say goodbye to him son "Be a good little guy and always know that no matter what you were loved"

"Luff yous" Phinnigan said giving his dad a hug.

Ashley came to stand next to Courtney who gave her a tight hug. Ashley closed her eyes and tried to get herself to relax.

"It's going to be alright" Courtney said.

The social worker grabbed Phinnigan's hand and they began to walk away. Phinnigan turned around and waved to "his family" one last time before he was taken out of sight. It took all of Ashley's strength not to break down at that very moment because god knows she wanted to. The court room doors opened.

"You ready to do this?" John asked taking her hand in his much larger one.

"As ready as I'll ever be" she replied taking the first steps at what would determine the rest of her life.