A/N

So, I got WAY more hits than reviews last chapter. D: It makes my day to see a review… so review review review; please! It helps me write faster. :)

On another note, to all the other writers, do you make a list of sorts? Haha. XD I don't want to contradict my characters' stories and traits later in the story, so I've made an elaborate list of everything about all of them. Lol…

Annnd… writer's block blows. XD

Also, I got an idea from a few other fanfics. If you have an out-there quote you think would be funny for me to incorporate into my story, feel free to tell me. :) I'll try. Haha.

Ps- words like this are song lyrics. :) Neither of the songs really fit… so, I combined the 2. XD If you have another song suggestion, please feel free to make one. :D

Many Shades Of Black

Ch. 2:

Chapter In Which Taxi Cab Drivers Are Ignored, Brad Pitt Is Ogled, And Breakfast Is Made.

Song(s):

The Suffering - Coheed and Cambria / Almost Easy - Avenged Sevenfold

So, instead of staying and letting him talk me into this nonsense, I walked over to the front door, turned around, and said, "Goodbye Emmett." And ran down the 3 flights of stairs from the fourth floor to the first, and ran out and caught a cab.

I gave him directions to my house, sobbing the entire way.

Would he really refuse to sign those damned divorce papers?

"…miss? Miss…? MISS?"

I blinked rapidly, feeling only slightly embarrassed I had tuned him out so much. I threw the money for the trip at him, and rushed into my apartment on the second floor.

Imagine my chagrin when I noticed I wasn't the only person in my living room.

"Babe? I-" "GET OUT!" "But-" "GET! THE! FUCK! OUT!" "No, wifey."

I was seething. Emmett was lounging on my deep purple loveseat, full-out grin on his face, arms behind his head, the epidemy of relaxation.

"I'll call the cops." I said, glaring.

"And tell them what exactly? 'Officer! My husband is in my living room! Make him leave!' He'd probably laugh, and tell you to get laid more often." He said, grin still in-tact.

Listen well, will you marry me? Not now, boy…

"GAH! Please leave. Please. I can't deal with you."

"Nawh. You have food. I don't. I think I'll stay riiiiight here. Or, perhaps, I'll go into the bedroom, IF you care to join me… I found this magazine in your room, and this swing looks fun…" He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"If your goal in life is to make me want to drive my Porche into a brick wall and hope I don't live to tell the tale, you've succeeded." This earned a deep, booming chuckle as he walked across the wooden floor to my bedroom.

And this was when the doorbell rang.

"ALLLIIIICCCCEEEE! Open up! We picked up KFC! 11 special herbs and spices covering the non-steroid-fulled chicken…"

He was still rambling about KFC's magnificence when I opened the door, panicked.

"Jazzy? Bells? What the hell are you doing here?"

"Well, sis, if you remember, we made plans to lounge around your place tonight, watch movies, and pig out." My older brother said, smiling, bucket of chicken in one hand, trying to get around my thin, fragile looking arms. Bella just stood there, smiling knowingly, movies in hand.

"I'm surprised you're even here, Alice. I mean, you did seem rather bus-" I quickly stopped my best friend's sentence by ushering them inside, hoping for once Emmett would keep his (oh so adorable) mouth shut.

"ALI! When're you going to agree just to move into my place? It's so much bigger than your's. And these hardwood floors are killin' my feet! Then again, the wood floors lead to the topic of another type of wood- Oh, hello." He said, coming into the room, clad in only his navy boxers, hanging precariously low on his hips, shock all over his features. His musk/cinnamon/pine scent hit me like a brick wall. Was it cologne, or just him? No time to ask now.

"Move in? Ali? I'm your brother and I'm not even allowed to call you Ali! Who is this? And why's he …naked?" Jasper looked ready to kill.

"Does my being half-naked bother you, shorty?" Emmett replied. Jasper was a good 6'1", but Emmett still had at least 4 inches on him.

My glorious best friend decided to step in, since I was too frazzled for words.

"Emmett, Jasper. Jasper, Emmett. Now that introductions are over, who wants to watch Troy?" She announced, taking the large bucket of chicken from Jasper, and setting it on my counter.

While Emmett and Jazzy were in a stare-down in the middle of my living room, I popped Troy in my DVD player, and slipped into the kitchen beside Bella.

"Thanks, dear. I owe you." I told her, smiling, while putting a plethora of chicken pieces onto plates.

"Big time." She joked, nudging my arm. "By the way… he's hot." A smirk was on her flawless face.

"Can we not talk about my… husband?" I cringed.

"Fine. Can we talk about how fooineee your husband's ass is?" She winked, and flew into the living room before I could retort. Hmph.

Since my somewhat large 29" RCA television was in the back, right-hand corner of my living room, the 3-person couch, and 2-person loveseat were both in viewing range of the gorgeous man who was about to come on-screen – Brad Pitt.

Problem was, in the dark, everyone looks the same. Actually, that's a lie. I knew the larger silhouette from the other two, more slight forms. But, either way, I ended up sitting, not beside Emmett, but on him. Yes, on my husband's barely clothed (cringe) lap.

Come back to me, it's almost easy…

I sat there for a second, wondering why such strong deja-vu came over me. Then I remembered, I didn't remember most of last night. Damnit.

I quietly sat beside him, hoping neither my brother, nor Bella saw that. Looking across the room, I'd had no such luck. Both were staring, wide-eyed, at me.

But, Emmett being Emmett, didn't pick up on this tension. He got up, smiling and sashaying his hips, and went into the kitchen. I heard the familiar noise of the fridge opening, and the chink of bottles being carried together, and his body heat was quickly beside me on the loveseat once more.

"What was that?" I said in a forced whisper, referring to his little 'show' to the kitchen.

"Awh, babe, I'm just giving you an alcoholic beverage so you'll like me more. Of course." He replied in mocked earnestness.

I'm not insane, I'm not insane… come back to me… it's almost easy…

I hit his arm, took the beer, and crossed the room to the couch, where I plopped down beside Bella.

"Oohh, a little harsh, doncha think? He's like a big teddybear – he needs affection and warm hugs to function." She said, giving me a sad face. "He completes you." She giggled, putting her 2 hands together to form a heart, which I batted away.

In my peripheral vision, I noticed Emmett blatantly disregarding the movie – his bright blue eyes were focused on me. Hence why I was grimacing, even while Brad Pitt danced around on-screen in today's equivalent of a skirt. I quickly chugged my beer.

Before I knew it, the movie was over. Bella and Jasper joked around a little, mainly forced small-talk. They weren't dense enough not to feel the tension during our 'family' time. By the time they were gone, it was 8pm. I sighed, eyeing the mess all around my apartment. But, I was okay with it, because Emmett was nowhere in sight. I started humming the beat of Get Over It by Ok Go as I did dishes.

I'd always found chores to be soothing. As much as I'd rather be shopping – who wouldn't – it took my mind off things. Mindless hand work. Could I ask for much more at the moment?

It wasn't until I had dried, and put away, the dishes, thrown in a load of laundry, and quickly dusted my apartment, that I found where Emmett had disappeared to. My bed. My perfect, slightly long (I needed a long bed; even though I was abnormally short at 4'10", I was always afraid something was going to eat my feet in the night.) bed. In MY bedroom.

But somehow, Emmett didn't look out of place. It looked almost… right. Except, he was laying diagonally, snoring, my newest issue of Cosmo lying beside his outstretched arm, with no room (even if I WANTED to lay with him) for me. Hmph.

You may be invited, girl, but you're not coming in…

So, I took the pillow from beside his head, the blanket from his body, and went out to my couch, and slept. Like a baby. In my clothes and all. And so ended my first day of marriage. (You're lucky; I was going to end it here. O:)

~*~

Unfortunately, this made for a very cranky Alice the following morning. The old couch with a broken spring was no match for my Sealy Posturepedic bed.

Did I smell… eggs? And some kind of pig? I perked up. Maybe Jazz or Bells decided to come over and make breakfast. They both had keys to my apartment.

Of course, my brain was not functioning properly, because, I had momentarily forgotten my husband, and why I had been sleeping on the couch from 10:30 until 6, and who would most likely be in my kitchen.

But even fully functioning, I would never've guessed he would be naked except for the apron reading 'Kiss the cook' tied around his waist.

"Hey wifeyyyy! Are you hungry by any chance? I maaaade sausage, and bacon, and ham, and eggs. I don't remember you telling me which type of processed pig meat you liked, so I made three."

"Emmett, could you, by chance, put clothes on?"

"Aww, why wifey? If you decide to jump me, like last night on the sofa," he did that wriggling of the eyebrows thing again, "I want to be prepared!"

"I. Did. Not. Jump. You. I merely have bad depth perception, and I thought you were farther back than you really were. Hmph." I crossed my arms across my chest, taking a pork-filled plate. "And for the record, I like bacon the best." I retorted, sticking my tongue out like a 5 year old, and heading to the bathroom to shower.

I stepped into my relatively large bathroom. I loved the smell of a bathroom – so clean, and sanitary. I smiled unconsciously. I turned on the water, and slowly the bathroom filled with steam. I stripped, and got in the hot water, letting it roll down my back, soothing me in both spirit and body.

After spending a good hour in the shower, lavishing my hair, and washing my body repeatedly, I reluctantly exited.

But, my oaf of a husband had to ruin everything, it seemed, and decided to 'accidentally' forget I'd been taking a shower. I screamed, and quickly threw a towel around my exposed self.

"I'm going to call the cops on you for being a peeping tom!"

"But babe, we're married. And, I'd be a curious Emmett, not a peeping tom." He said, winking, and left the bathroom, without so much as an excuse as to why he had barged in.

I quickly dressed in a simple tight lack t-shirt, shrunken grey vest, cream colored mini, and black heels, and pulled out my phone.

I found the entry for Garrett; he owed me anyways.

"riiiing… riiiing… Hello?"

"Garrett? It's me, Alice."

"Oh, hello Alice! What a pleasant surprise. To whom do I owe the pleasure?"

"Just my husband, Emmett."

"Why Alice! I'm shocked! You didn't even tell me you were dating."

I hadn't really thought of how awkward it would be to call my lawyer friend – he was gay; so it wasn't awkward in that sense – and tell him I got married on a whim.

"Well… I wasn't. That's what the call is about, I'm afraid. I was actually wondering how fast you could come up with the paperwork that would be required for a divorce?"

Bahaha! I'm stopping there. :) My overloaded brain can't write anymore. Sorry about the delay – I'm late posting already, and it's only the second chapter, I know I know. D: Family stuff kept me, I apologize. :)

Yay or nay?

Review, review, review. Please. *puppy dog pout*

Xoxo,
Courtney.