~~~SHUT UP AND PLAY WON AND I ALREADY POSTED THE FIRST CHAPTER!!! SO GO CHECK
IT OUT~~~

Bella's POV

"Please Phil stop!! Oh please, don't!" I yelled

"Bella, Bella! Wake up!"

I looked around the room and saw a very worried Edward. He has been staying nights with me since the…accident. Though Charlie thought he was spending the nights in Emmett's room…but hey what Charlie doesn't know won't hurt him. Plus it is not like Edward would ever try anything. Plus, I couldn't sleep without him because I have always felt safer in his arms and for the most part kept the nightmares away, so I asked him to stay with me. He couldn't have been more than happy obliged my request.

"Edward," I whispered as I leaned into him, sobbing uncontrollably. My heart was racing and I couldn't breathe. I feel like I'm having a heart attack.

"Here Bella," Edward handed me a little paper bag. "Breath in and out of this,"

I did what I was told. He kept one arm around me and softly rubbed soothing circles up my arm.

I continued to breathe in and out of the bag, willing my heart to slow down. This has been happening every night since Phil's death. I couldn't get him out of my mind.

"Feel better?" Edward asked once my breathing had evened out a bit.

"Y-yeah…thanks" I said while giving him a weak smile. My heart was calming down and I put the paper bag on the floor.

"You're welcome. Do you think you can go back to sleep?"

"Not yet" I told him. Truthfully, I didn't want to sleep. I always wake up to these attacks and now I'm kind of scared to sleep. "But you should go back to sleep. I'll be fine."

"That's okay, I'd rather stay up with you... Are you excited about your session today?" he asked while laying us down on our pillows.

"I guess I am. I think she is helping me," I told him. I laid my body against his chest and heard the steady rhythm of his heart. This was always my safe haven. And Edward would always rub my back until I fell asleep.

"Well, she can't be worst then the last one," I said trying to be light hearted but I saw Edward shutter, probably remember me overdosing. I had to admit I still shuddered a little remembering that stupid lady and what I did.

"That's for sure," Edward responded and started running his fingers through my hair.

We stayed like that until I had to get up and get ready for my session.

**

"Tell me how you feel today?" Dr. Fetto asked

"Fine," I told her.

"Good. Do you mind if we talk about Phil today?" She asked.

I gave a huge sigh. I really didn't want to talk about him again. Ever since the accident, everyone kept bothering me to spill what happen. Charlie got worried and told me to go back to therapy. He asked Carlisle to recommend one so we would not have repeat of the last one. He recommended Jennifer Fetto who specializes in post-traumatic stress disorders. I really like her; she's actually really easy to talk to.

"Well, I suppose that's fine" I told her.

"Okay, tell me about your interactions with Phil before you moved to Forks" Dr. Fetto asked while keeping the pen and notepad close to her face.

"H-he used to beat my mother. When he would get bored with her, he began hurting me." I whispered that last part.

"How did he hurt you?"

"He used to beat and r-rape me" I slowly started to feel the tears growing behind my eyes and threatening to spill over, just remembering what he use to do to me.

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" She asked while writing something down.

"I was scared. I thought he would kill my mother."

"You weren't scared he was going to kill you?" she asked looking up from her notebook.

"I could handle if I got myself killed but I could not handle getting my mother killed."

"That's a lot of responsibility at such a young age" She looked into my eyes. "Do you blame yourself for what Phil did to you?"

I couldn't hold back the tears…It was all my fault. "Y-Yes, I-I shouldn't ha-have let him fall. It's all my fault" and the tears continued to fall free down my face and I could not look at her anymore.

"Bella please look at me," I looked up into her understanding eyes. "It's not your fault. None of it was your fault. He did this to you because he was a sick man searching for his own form of domination. He felt weak for failing as a baseball player and wanted to make you feel as bad as he felt. You had nothing to do with what he did to you. Understand?" She asked with a concerned face.

"But-"

"Bella it is NOT your fault…okay? It is not your fault," She kept repeating it until I finally looked back up at her and wiped my eyes dry again.

"How do you feel right now…Please be descriptive,"

"My heart is pounding out of my chest. I-I can't stop shaking. I want to leave this room. I w-want to stop talking about this," I told her

"Okay, I understand. How about you tell me about how you felt when you saw him dead. I read in your police report that you saw him lying through the windshield and that you acquired some wounds."

I tried my best to even out my breathing.

"I was scared. I thought he was going to get up and attack me again. Once Charlie put me in the ambulance, I f-felt….relieved." I shuddered at the thought. "Then I was mortified. What kind of person is happy that someone died? How could I feel so grateful that he died?" I asked crying once again.

"Bella, you're not happy he's dead. You're happy that, for the first time in a long time, you are safe. Your happy that he could never hurt you again," She explained and it made me feel slightly better.

"But I'm still scared. I still feel like he's still going to hurt me. I'm constantly worried that another monster like him will come and get me. I can't stop thinking about that. I mean, it's always on my mind. I can't ever sleep and I hardly eat. I'm always looking behind me, aware of everything that is going on and who comes into a room. It's all so overwhelming." I sighed frustrated. I don't even remember the last time I had a good night sleep.

"I know. And you need to understand that he won't hurt you ever again. He is dead and gone forever…Never will he touch you again. And I know you're stressed out so I'm going to give you something for the stress. But I have to give it to a second party. I'll let you choose who." She told me.

"Why?" I asked

"Well, I know you need medication to slow your heart rate. I do not want you have any more panic attacks whenever someone enters into your 'safe zone' or you get scared. But I know about your suicide attempt with pills. I trust that you would not do that again, but I want to be extra cautious for the first few months. Who would you like?"

"I guess my brother Emmett. We're going to go to the same college this fall. Actually we just signed a lease for an apartment…Emmett, Edward, Alice and I, are all going to be sharing the apartment. It is right next campus. Plus, I know he'll take on that responsibility with a smile on his face…Actually, I won't be surprised if he carried a stethoscope and deflector headpiece for a while." I gave a shy laugh. Emmett would rise to the idea of playing doctor.

"That sounds wonderful. I know you and Edward are dating, but how do you feel moving in with two guys?" Dr. Fetto asked, anticipating my reaction.

"Oh, Edward is fine. He's a perfect gentleman. I know he would never hurt me. And Emmett is a big goof ball and to be honest, he helps calm me just about the same amount as Edward does," I told her, completely confident.

"That's fantastic. I'm thrilled that you are still confident in men. Many assault and rape victims have a difficult time dating and being around men. You seemed to fly by that," She smiled.

"They are the ones that always take care of me. If it wasn't for Emmett and Edward, I probably would have died at Phil's new house months ago. I trust Emmett and Edward with everything I have." And that was true. They were my rock, my solid.

"How long have you two been dating now?" She asked.

"About four weeks." I told her

"Are you two having sex?" She asked pulling her face away from her notebook.

I blushed. "No."

"That's good Bella. I want to strongly advise you against sex for a while. I know it will be difficult for you because you obviously have strong feelings for him. But I need you to wait for at least six months. I want to give you time. I want you to wait until you don't need the medication anymore. Do you think you could do that?"

"Yes. I'm not really interested in sex right now" I actually never thought about it.

"I know that. But trust me Bella, the topic will come up and I want you to explain to him why it's not such a good idea. I don't want you to relive any bad memories while conducting an intimate act. Do you understand what I'm trying to say?"

"I understand. No sex until I'm ready-"

"And until he's ready too, of course," She laughed.

"Well yeah, that goes without saying." I laughed too.

"Good. I really enjoyed our session Bella. I'm really glad you're opening up to me. I promise that I'll always have your best interest at heart." Dr. Fetto smiled.

"Thank you" I smiled back. I really think she could help me.

"Now, I saw that you said you're having trouble sleeping. I'm also going to give Emmett a prescription for you to help you sleep. I honestly don't think you'll need it too long, but I would like for you to get into a healthy sleeping habit."

"Any help would be great. I hate not sleeping. I feel like a zombie"

"I know, insomnia is a terrible disorder. You really need to maintain a good night's sleep. With that I think this is a good place to stop. Who brought you here today?"

"Emmett and Edward. After we finish here, we're going to start packing up for our new apartment." I told her excitedly. I want to start a new life.

"Great. I'll walk you out and give Emmett your new proscriptions. And I would love to meet this boyfriend you rave about," She gave me a full smile. I really like her.

"This way then," I pointed to the door. We walked out together and I was met by two beautiful green eyes. He looked at me with apprehension and noticed I was content. He smiled back at me and came towards Dr. Fetto and myself.

"Dr. Fetto, this is my big brother Emmett and boyfriend Edward" I noticed Edward smile get bigger when I used the word boyfriend.

"Nice to meet you boys, Emmett, would you mind if I speak with you for a second?" She motioned towards her office.

"Sure thing, doc" He nudged my shoulder and followed Dr. Fetto into her office.

"How did it go?" Edward asked me.

"Fine, I really like her. She doesn't push me too hard…I really feel like I can talk to her" I smiled.

He gave me my favorite crocked smile. He walked closer to me slowly, asking me with his eyes if he could put his arms around me. I knew he took this as a precaution. His dad is a doctor and probably told him to move slowly with me. So he wouldn't scare or intimidate me. I smiled knowingly at him and met him half way.

He put his arms around my waist and kissed my forehead. I love these little chaste touches.

Emmett came back out with a smile on his face. I noticed he was holding my prescription in his hands. He approached me and Edward with a mischievous look on his face.

"Bella, I want you to call me Dr. Muscles from now on." He laughed as he waved my prescription in his hands. Damn, I should have picked Alice….

"Be good Emmett." I smiled back at Dr. Fetto. "I'll see you next week?"

"Sounds wonderful. See you soon" She took my hand in hers and shook it. She smiled at the boys and went back into her office.

"I can't wait to get my doctors kit!" Emmett laughed. "I bet Rose would love to see me in a white coat. OOH. Hey Edward, you think your dad cou--"

"No he won't give you a white coat, Emmett" Edward laughed. He looked at me. "Ready to go?"

"Yes." I smiled and kissed his cheek.

"Hey, none of that in my jeep," Emmett chuckled in front of us.

I laughed holding onto Edward's arm.

I feel pretty confident on where my life is going. I still have problems and I really don't want to get any more panic attacks. But I'm thankful for my support system. My family and friends are going to be here with me. Rose and Jasper are even going to get an apartment in the same complex as us. We are all going to go to the same college and I think I want to major in journalism.

I looked up at Edward and kissed him lightly on the lips. He stopped walking and hugged me closer to him and I sighed contently.

"Thank you" I smiled.

"For what?" Edward asked.

"For being here" I told him.

He kissed me one more time before we starting walking towards an impatient Emmett and his large Jeep. A large smile played across my face as I walked in and hand with Edward. This was a happiness I never thought I would know.

Ok so I did not write this chapter I just changed a couple of things… this chapter was written by roxymar (the story she is working on of her own is below and it is amazing) Ok hope you guys liked it and there will be a sequel… Don't worry I am just first writing Shut up and Play first but I will come back to this story…I promise and I have a lot of ideas I want to do with it. Please review and tell me what you think and go look at my new story and tell me what you think…even if you flame me I am just happy to get feedback…lol well once again thanks so much Roxymar and check out her story it is good!

Trying to Escape by Roxymar

Orphans: Bella, Rose, and Alice are running for their lives. The attacker would stop at nothing to have them. Who is the attacker? What does he want? Would anyone save them? Warning: Contains strong language and some sexual content