"Talking"
"Parseltongue"
Last time: (AN: That soo sounds like a TV opener)
"Oookay...So now what do we do?"
Chapter 3: Uncle Vernon
"Now I will teach you what you need to know. I will tell you who was and is loyal to your father; who was a spy and who might be; who you can trust and who you cannot. I will teach you about wizarding politics and how to act in accordance with your standing, how to act as the Heir of both Voldemort and Slytherin. Eventually you will learn magic. Even before you go to Hogwarts and I will also teach you to hide your true abilities and your true feelings so that until you and your father are ready, you can play Dumbledore's little games. Do you understand?"
"Umm...yeah. You're going to teach me stuff. Is that like school? I don't like school too much, I have to sit still andthe teacher won't let me hide from Dudley inside. She says I have to play outside, but no one wants to play with me."
"Yes, I'm going to teach you what you need to know and it will not be like school. It will mostly be stories I tell you. I will also stay with you and protect you. I will..."
"You mean it? You'll stay with me? Oh, sorry, I interrupted you didn't I?"
"Yes I'll stay with you. Don't worry about interrupting me unless I aks you not too. One of the first things you must relearn is that you don't need to apologize. You answer to no one except your father, me, and when at school, the Headmaster and Professors, but that is only at school. Now take me to your relatives, I want to meet them."
"Umm...I need to finish my chores before..."
"Chores? Nonsense! From now on, I teach, you learn, no more chores. Now take me to your relatives."
"Umm...but...I...umm...I have to finish my chores, I don't want to miss dinner."
"Miss dinner, why would you miss dinner?"
"Because I was bad."
Because you...tell me about your life here. All of it. I will know if you are lying."
"Um, Uncle Vernon said to never tell anyone."
"Childe, you are speaking in snake-speech, I cannot tell anyone. Now tell me about your life."
Harry then spent the next 20-30 minutes, with much prompting and many questions and interruptions,telling Nagini about his life with the Dursley's. How he lives inthe cupboard under the stairs and his cousin has two bedrooms; how he cooks their meals and gets their leftovers, if he's lucky and he's been good; how he cleans the whole house and his relatives watch the telly;and how he's never had a present and his cousin is spoiled rotten. When pressed he finally admits to being beaten, but claims it's only when he hasn't finished his chores, of course that wasn't his exact wording, or when he's been naughty. Their level of inhumanness appalled Nagini, and people said that Voldemort was bad. He would have simply tortured the kid for an hour or so, then killed him. He would have never subjected a child to this kind of treatment, especially someone he's supposed to be related to and caring for. She couldn't believe the incompetince of the wizarding world, or the complete and utter lack of caring by the fool of a Headmaster. Well, ok...maybe she could understand that, Harry was after all the son of his worst enemy and a simple pawn, used to bring down his father.
"Ok. I will accept that for now. Now bring me inside, and you will say exactly what I tell you. I can understand human speak so you will not have to translate for me, only from snake speak to human speak" Nagini explained.
"Umm...but I..." stuttered the frightend and suddenly timid boy.
"NOW," yelled an exasperated Nagini.
"Yes Ma'am," whispered the suddenly cowed five year old.
Harry stood up and headed inside. He was followed by Nagini. When he entered the kitchen he found his Uncle finishing lunch. His Aunt and cousin were still at the water park and were not planning on being back before dinner. Harrytimidly cleared his throat to get his Uncle's attention. When his did Uncle look up and catch sight of his nephew, his decent mood flew out the window and he snapped rather harshly, "What do you want, boy?"
"...U-u-uncle Vernon, meet Nagini, she was my father's pet. Nagini this is my Uncle Vernon." started Harry with much more confidence than he felt.
"What do you mean by this boy? I thought I warned you about bringing any of your freakishness in this house, now GET OUT!"
By the timeVernon had reached this part, his face was an interesting shade of purple and spit was flying all over the place. Harry, who attempted to fleeand cower in the corner of the room like he normally would, stood his ground. Not very bravely, but he did stand it, with help from some encouraging and supporting words and threats from Nagini.
Said snake slowly slithered forward until she was positioned between Harry and the enraged Hippo, err...I mean,Uncle. She then rose upand held herself ready to defend 'her' childe from his 'Uncle'. She then began to deliver her ultimatum, pausing to wait for Harry, who was still behind her, to stturingly translate her hissing.
"As I said this is Nagini. She was my father's familiar, his guide and companion. He sent her to take care of me. She says that if you hurt me in anyway and if you do not leave me alone, especially while I'm training, she will eat you or Aunt Petunia, or Dudley." At this point a suddenly hyperventillating Harry turned to Nagini, "you'll what? Nagini you can't eat them. Where would I go? I don't want to go to an orphanage."
"Sssh, hush childe. I'm threatening to eat them, that doesn't necessarily mean that I have interest in actually eat them, the men are too fat anyway, and the women is too bony."
"Oh, promise not to eat them?"
"Yes childe, now back to your Uncle."
"Oh, right. She also sa..."
"You need to speak English childe."
"Huh? But I am speaking"
"No, look at your Uncleas you repeat what I say."
"She also says that since Dumbledore is paying you,you should be able to feed and clothe me properly. Other then that you should probably ignore me, it's the least you can do. I will come down form meals, which I will not be cooking, and that is probably be the longest period in which you will see me. I will move into Dudley's second bedroom, you'll just have to throw away all the broken stuff. I will continue to go to primary school. Any questions?"
"Uh...Ah...Argh...You...You...YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING FREAK! You'll do what I tell you! Now go to your cupboard!"
Following Vernon's epileptic tirade Harry started to creep out of the kitchen and towards his cupboard. But was stopped when Nagini lunged at Vernon. She wrapped around him, immobilizing him and hissed menacingly in his face.
"You will do as he says or you will deeply regret it."
"She says that if you don't do as she demands you'll regret it."
"GET...OUT...NOW! I will not be threatened in my own home. I will NOT stand for this."
"Fine! Harry, tell him we're leaving but we will be back in a few years. But we leave on one condition, he must continue to write to Dumbledore, just as he has been. Also, he cannot tell anyone that you have left. If he does stop writing to Dumbledore, he'll also stop being paid."
"Uncle Vernon, Nagini says that we will leave, but we'll be back in a few years. She says we leave on one condition, you must keep writing to Dumbledore and you can't tell anyone I left. She says if you stop writing to Dumbledore then you won't get paid anymore.
"Fine, fine, anything to get rid of you. Now GET OUT!"
"Goodbye Uncle Vernon."