Chapter 32: Breathless
"So were going to tell Ashley today and once her blood pressure returns to normal we can tell my dad because lord knows Ashley is going to flip out more than he will" Connor told Becky as they drove to the John's home.
"Why does your sister care so much I meant you are an adult?"
"Ashley has been like a mother to me and Keegan since our mom died … we've been through a lot of shit that you couldn't even imagine" he remarked not wanting to go into details.
"Damn I wish my own sister cared half as much as yours does"
"Believe me sometimes it gets annoying but Ashley is just trying to keep the people she loves safe, believe me she has always been like that and more than likely always will"
"How do you think she'll take the news?" Becky asked.
"She can't really comment because the last time I checked she isn't married either," he said pulling into the driveway.
"Besides her kid's dad is John, now don't get me wrong I love the man like a brother but would you really want him raising your kids … I don't know about you but I wouldn't. The man is still a kid himself"
"Well here goes nothing" Becky said getting out of the car.
They walked up the driveway together and knocked on the door. They could hear little feet running to the door and then it opened to reveal Dean and Phinnigan.
"Unca" Phinnigan hugged his uncle's leg.
"Hey there Munchkin" he picked Phinnigan up and threw him over his shoulder.
"Hey Dean-O you seen Munchkin?" Connor asked the 5 year old.
"He's on your shoulder Connor" Dean laughed.
"So he is," Phinnigan giggled as Connor put him down.
"Mommy Unca … Mommy Unca" he yelled running away.
Ashley came from the back of the house. She was smiling which Connor was glad for maybe she wouldn't freak out as bad as he thought she would.
"What's up little brother" she hugged him tightly "what brings Detective Benoit by?"
"What can't I come visit my big sister without having an ulterior motive" he grinned.
"You are forgetting I know you better than you know yourself bro so I know something is going on" she crossed her arms over her chest.
"Spill" she ordered tapping her foot against the hardwood floor.
"Hey Ash" Becky announced her presence.
"Oh hey Becky I didn't even see you there" Ashley greeted the young girl.
She cocked an eyebrow "Both of you are here … should I be worried?"
"No, not at all big sister in fact you should be the opposite"
"Ok now I have officially moved from worried to terrified" Ashley said.
"Well sis you are going to be an auntie" Connor wrapped an arm around Becky's waist.
Ashley normally serene face turned immediately red. She took in a few deep breaths before opening her mouth to speak.
"CONNOR JOSHUA BENOIT ARE YOU FREAKIN' CRAZY," she yelled.
Dean and Phinnigan peaked out from the living room to see what Ashley was yelling about. Both seemed to take solace that they weren't the ones getting yelled at.
"OoOoOo Connor is in trouble" Dean whispered to his partner in crime.
"Uh huh" Phinnigan agreed.
Both boys went back to what they were doing. Ashley was pacing by now muttering things to herself and every once in a while glancing up at the two young people before her.
"Connor you are only 24 years old" she finally said.
"You were the same age I am now when you adopted Phin," he pointed out "I have my own place and I have a stable job with good benefits"
"Well are you two at least dating?" she asked.
"Well no …"
"Oh great so basically what happened is you two very stupid kids probably got drunk and had unprotected sex and now you are going to have a baby" she began to pace faster "well dad is gonna have a field day with this one … I thought you both were smarter than this"
"Well nothing is going to change what has already been done" Connor stated "try being happy for us"
"Do either of you realize how incredibly hard it is having a baby … especially you Becky you are barely 20"
"We can handle it" Connor said confidently.
"Oh so you think … you know what you two get to baby-sit tonight," Ashley said.
"I don't remember volunteering" Connor protested.
"You two want my blessing then you are going to earn it, Randy is going out tonight and I'm going to get John to help me move some stuff into my new apartment so you two get to take care of all 3 kids tonight and if you manage to survive the night then you can have my blessing"
"I've babysat Phin before Ash it's not that hard"
"Oh Connor my sweet boy you have no idea what you are in for" she began laughing at him.
"No idea" she continued laughing as she went to go find John.
--
"John will you hurry your slow ass up" Ashley was waiting for him at the foot of the stairs.
She had a very heavy box in her arms and John has the keys to the apartment. She sighed a little and waited.
"I'm here" he huffed climbing the last few steps "you know you could have put the box down"
"Yeah and you could not be a jackass" she replied.
"But then I have no fun" he stuck his tongue out at her.
"Unless you plan on using that put it back into your mouth" she said.
"Oh I'll use it baby just let me know when"
"Eww John you are so gross" she slapped him in the arm.
"Can you grab the keys out of my pocket because my arms are starting to get tired?" he asked.
She smirked as she grabbed the keys out of his pocket. She opened the door and they both went in.
"Just put those things in the corner," she told him.
She pulled out her cell phone and dialed John's home phone. After talking to Connor for about 10 minutes she shut her phone. There was a huge grin on her face.
"The kids are starting to get to them I can tell plus I bribed the boys with ice cream sundaes and told them to be on their worst behavior"
"Now why would you do that?" John asked shaking his head.
"Because they need to learn that kids are always around, the good, the bad, and the really ugly. They need to see that once this kid is born they can't just wish it away because it's crying or throwing a tantrum"
Rain pelted the windows hard. Both adults look toward the windows and grimaced.
"There is only one more box I'll grab it and then we'll just wait here till this storm dies down" John told her.
"Ok … I might as well light a fire in the fireplace because you are gonna be freezing when you come back"
John left and returned 5 minutes later completely sopping met from head to toe. He took off his shoes and left them by the door. Placing the soggy box in the small kitchen he went to go sit near the fireplace. Ashley had set out a blanket for them to sit on instead of the hard floor.
"Here give me your shirt" she held her hand out.
He peeled off his shirt and handed it to her. She carefully hung it above the fireplace to dry.
A loud crack of lightning and an even louder boom of thunder crashed right outside the window. Ashley jumped a little bit as the lights went out, she had a phobia of thunder and lighting that went back to her experience from the home she had been put into. She had a seat near John. He could see that she was shivering. He got up and sat behind her so she could lean up against him, which she did gratefully. He ran his hands up and down her arms in a comforting manner.
"It's ok I'm right here to protect you" she had told him of her fear of thunder storms right after they had began dating but it was only recently had she explained where the fear came from.
She stopped shivering and enjoyed the feeling of John's arms around her.
"You ok now?" he asked.
"I am knowing you are here," she said.
"I'm always going to be here for you Ash you know that"
"I know but what about you I mean when do you get to be happy?" she asked.
"What makes you think I'm not happy?" he retorted.
"This isn't how I pictured life you know" she said.
"Well how did you picture it" he laced her fingers with his.
"I don't know I just pictured it differently"
"Well I like the way my life turned out, I have a great career and two beautiful kids"
"But doesn't it bother you that you are single?" she asked.
"A little … I'm getting older and I think it would be nice if someone made an honest man out of me"
"You aren't that old John" she rolled her eyes.
"Let me ask you a question are you sad that things didn't work out with you and Shane?" he asked.
"Yes and no, I'm glad that him and Marissa were able to work things out but what I had with Shane was special and I would have like to have found out what would have happened if we had stayed together"
"I hated that you were with Shane" he felt no need to lie to her.
"Why?"
"I'm not going to pretend that I was ok with him raising my son because I wasn't and the fact that you were with him and not me made me mad too. I told you once that I will always love you and I meant it"
"Then if you love me why Kelly?"
"You broke my heart when you ended things and lets face it I'm a guy and guys can't go long without sex"
"So how long has it been since you last had sex?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.
"7 months ago" he replied.
"Damn "Ashley found herself saying.
"Yeah … but I was only with Kelly for the sex I always knew that I was in love with you and that she could never compare. When she told me she was pregnant I was only doing what I thought I was supposed to not what I wanted to do"
"The truth is I don't want you to move out … I don't want to just be your friend I want to be the one who picks you up when you fall, I want to be the one you come home to at the end of the day for the rest of our lives, I want to be the one you want to have the huge family you always wanted with, I want to be the one you want all your dreams to come true with"
She was taken aback by his sudden confession. She wanted to tell him that she felt the same way but she was afraid something would come in the way like it always did.
"If you tell me you don't want all those things then just tell me and I will never bring it up again"
"Right now all I want is to be in your arms," she said before kissing him with all the passion she had been holding back. He laid her down and managed to get her shirt off while still kissing her.
"Wait something isn't right" he said breaking away from her "gimme your phone"
Ashley gave him a look before handing her phone over to him. He played around with it for a few seconds before setting it down. Breathless by Better Than Ezra could be heard coming out of the phone. Ashley's phone was also an MP3 player.
She rolled her eyes at him "you are such a corn ball"
"A corn ball that loves you"
As the thunder and lighting raged outside Ashley didn't seem to be afraid anymore because she knew as long as John was around she would always be safe. They didn't make it home that night. They spent the night on the living room floor of Ashley's new apartment in each other's arms and for that moment everything was perfect.