4. Pools and Proverbs

Larry lounged comfortably in the deck chair beside the pool getting that Baywatch tan he had always wanted. A cool tropical drink, complete with little umbrella, sat at his fingertips. His bare foot nodded vaguely to the rhythm of the live steel drum band. His motion sickness was nearly nonexistent thanks to the pills he was taking, allowing him to enjoy the luxury of doing absolutely nothing. He was glad that Balki had insisted on the trip and made a mental note to thank him.

"Hey, mom. Watch this!" Shouted a boy on the diving board.

"I'm watching!" The woman in the chair beside Larry called back without taking her eyes off the magazine she was reading.

Larry watched indifferently as the kid did a cannonball. He turned to the woman. "Yours?" He asked, motioning toward the pool.

She nodded wearily. "Yep."

"How old?"

"Ten."

"He's brave for ten." Larry said, obviously impressed. "Not many ten-year-olds have the courage to take on the diving board. Well, I didn't anyway."

She finally took her eyes off her magazine to give him a strange look.

"Hey, Cousin!"

Larry looked up to see Balki standing on the edge of the diving board in what he could only guess was Myposian swim trunks. They were black with a colorfully embroidered belt and a gold fringe on the hem of the pant legs.

"Watch this! Are you watching?"

Larry shrank slightly in his chair. Why did he feel that everyone's eyes were on him instead of Balki? "Yes, yes I'm watching."

Balki let out a trilling whoop as he made a running leap off the board and spun in the air like a twirling ice skater before splashing into the water.

The woman turned wryly to Larry and inclined her head toward the pool. "Yours?"

Larry rolled his eyes. "Yeah."

"How old?"

"Twenty three going on eight."

She shook her head and chuckled before returning her attention to the magazine.

Balki broke the surface, swam over and rested his arms on the edge of the pool. "Come on in, Cousin. The water's swell!"

"No, thank you, Balki. I'm perfectly content right where I am."

"But I think you'd have fun."

"No."

"But--"

"No!"

"Alright. If you want to be a dry blanket, suit yourself." With that Balki swam off, obviously a little hurt.

Larry took another leisurely sip from his drink as he watched his cousin make friends, mostly with the children. Pretty soon he had every young person in the pool, from six-year-olds in water wings to teens, (not to mention a couple of lighthearted adults) caught up in what appeared to be Marco Polo. After the game had went on for about ten minutes Balki emerged from the pool and hurried over to Larry.

"Cousin, come play." He was dripping all over the deck and grinning from ear to ear. "Everyone's having the time of their lives!" He grabbed Larry's hand and tried to pull him out of the chair.

Larry jerked his hand away. "I don't want to play. Besides, I'm no good at Marco Polo."

His mouth and eyebrows twitched slightly in confusion. "It's got nothing to do with an expedition to China. We're playing Ponki Donki Chikino Bambino."

Larry raised an eyebrow. "You taught all these people a Myposian game?"

"Yes, and they're all having fun." He motioned to the lively game that was still in progress. "Now, you can't be having fun just sitting there. Come and join us." He moved to grab his cousin's hand again but Larry pulled it away.

"Balki, I'm not playing."

"Oh, come on. You'll enjoy it"

"I'm enjoying myself right here."

"Why you wearing swimming trunks for if you're not going to swim?"

"I'm getting a tan, okay?"

"Come on. You'll have a good time."

"No I won't."

"Can you swim?"

"Well, yes, but--"

"Then you'll like it." He grabbed Larry by both ankles and tried to pull him out of his chair, but Larry held on to the armrests and wouldn't budge. "Don't make me do this the hard way." Balki warned, his eyes twinkling mischievously.

By this time it seemed everyone on deck was watching this interaction. "Balki, you're making a scene. Stop it!"

"Okay, Cousin. You asked for it." With that Balki simply lifted him out of the lounge chair and walked to the edge of the pool.

"Balki, don't do this. Put me DOWN!"

"Are you sure you want me to put you down?"

"Yes!" His eyes widened with sudden realization. "No wait!!" He could hear the whole crowd cheer as he hit the water.

He broke the surface coughing and sputtering. He pushed his wet hair out of his eyes to see Balki treading water beside him, smiling smugly.

"You should have seen your face when you hit the water. You look like a deer with head lice!"

"Head lights! Head lights! Deer in the head lights!" He stabbed a finger, shaking with pent up anger, at Balki's nose. "If there weren't children in this pool I'd drown you right now!" Turning abruptly he swam to the nearest ladder and climbed out. He could feel a hundred eyes boring into him. Everyone was watching. His cheeks felt warm and he knew he was blushing. He tried to avoid eye contact with anyone as he stormed across the deck toward the locker room.

"Cousin, wait!" Balki shouted, emerging from the pool and sprinting across the deck after his friend.

"No running!" The lifeguard shouted at him.

He slowed his pace to a hurried walk. By the time he reached the locker room Larry already had his pants on.

"Cousin, what's wrong?" Balki asked, water still running off him to make a pool on the floor.

Larry held up a hand. "Balki, I am not talking to you."

"Why?" He threw both hands out beseechingly. "What I did?"

" 'What you did'?" Larry asked in angry disbelief, mocking his cousin's errant grammar. " 'What you did'? You just humiliated me in front of at least fifty people! Everyone was laughing at me!"

"I…I'm sorry, Cousin." Balki said, his eyes squinting in penitence. "I don't mean to embarrass you. I just want you to have a little fun."

"Yeah, well, getting laughed at is not my idea of fun." He snapped back. After fastening the last button on his shirt he snatched his towel off the bench and started out the door.

Balki followed closely, trying desperately to meet his cousin's eyes. "Please…please don't be angry with me. I won't do it again."

Larry slowed to a stop, blew out a half sigh, half groan. Balki's kindheartedness and sincere humility made it difficult to stay mad at him for long. "Look, I'm sorry I yelled at you. It's just…it's just." He brought a hand up to wipe the side of his face. "It was the sixth grade all over again!"

Balki nodded knowingly. "This is another one of those childhood traumas, hoh?"

"It happened at Susie Swenson' s pool party." He was so irritated at the memory that he fairly spat his 'p's. "She was the most popular girl in school and the only reason I was invited is because I was the brother of the Great Billy Appleton. I was terrified of the diving board and everybody knew it. I was sick and tired of being teased about it so I finally mustered up the courage to try. I dove straight down, head first. When I came up I was so proud of myself. I just couldn't believe I'd done it. And then…" He paused a moment to undo his top collar button, obviously stalling.

Balki simply waited patiently.

Larry took a deep preparatory breath. "…And then I realized I'd lost my shorts. That's when the laughing and pointing began, but it didn't end there. Even after I graduated high school random people would come up to me and say 'hey, remember the pool party'. Ever since then I've had…trouble getting up in front of people.

"Well, Cousin—" Balki began but was interrupted as Larry continued.

"…and swimming pools."

Balki nodded and tried again. "As I was going to say—"

"…and jeering crowds."

The Mypiot looked at his cousin, a bit of impatience showing. "Are you finished?"

Larry nodded solemnly. "Yes."

Balki put a wet but comforting arm around his friend's shoulders. "Cousin, you've got to let these things go. On Mypos we have a saying…"

Larry warily raised an eyebrow. He never was too enthusiastic about Balki's Myposian sayings, generally because they required some sort of change on his part.

" 'Ohdriko banzi lavi izo biki fiki dang dang babasticki.'" He paused for a moment to let that sink in before he continued. "It says: 'If you keep your pockets full of babasticki there will be no room left for seashells.' Do you know what that means?"

Larry gave his cousin a long blank stare. "No."

"It means if all you think about is the bad things in life you'll never be able to have fun."

There was a lot of truth in that statement and Larry knew it. "You're right. But I've always had trouble…letting go."

"How 'bout I help you?" Balki offered with a reassuring smile. "We forget all about Susie Derkins and her pajama party and go have a nice lunch. I hear the restaurant have a live band. It's a good thing too, 'cuz dead people can't play." He instantly broke up with laughter, banging his fist on a nearby locker. "Where do I come up with them?"

"I often wonder that myself." Larry answered with a hint of a smile.