7. Water, Water Everywhere

Larry awoke to a violent rocking that could only mean they were about to be capsized. He threw his hands out to steady himself and was about to grab the nearest life vest when he realized the weather was perfectly calm. The sky was blue and the sun was shining, the sea was still. Then why was the boat...? That's when Balki's contently singing voice reached his brain.

"Rock the boat. Don' rock the boat, baby! Rock the boat. Don' tip the boat over!"

Larry sat up and turned toward the stern to see Balki. The Mypiot had his back to him and a hand on either side of the boat and was rocking along with the song. Larry brought a hand to his queasy stomach. "Balki stop it!"

"Oh, Cousin! You're finally awake." Balki turned and moved beside him.

Larry glared at him with seething irritation. "Don't you ever, ever do that again."

Balki's eyebrows rose innocently. "Do what?"

"Rock the boat."

Unable to resist a cue like that he sang. "Don' rock the boat, baby!" He threw out a hand toward Larry as if prompting him to add the next line.

Larry stared at him in open-mouthed disbelief. "How can you sing at a time like this? Don't you understand? We are in major jeopardy."

Balki scanned the vast ocean surrounding them, then turned back to his cousin, eyeing him uncertainly. "I don't think so. No Alex Trebek here."

He was about to retort when a wave of dizziness hit him with startling suddenness and Larry brought a hand up to his forehead, trying to make the spinning stop. He let out a small wavering moan.

Balki's face was the very picture of sympathy. "Oh, Cousin," He moved to put an arm around his shoulder but Larry waved him back. "I'm sorry you're so sick. I wish there was something I could do."

"Just…just don't rock the boat again." Larry answered weakly, trying to keep his eyes focused on the horizon, which wasn't all that hard considering it was just about all there was to look at. "How long have I been asleep?" Larry asked, suddenly wondering how he possibly fell asleep with such danger and discomfort.

"Since sometime last night."

Larry sighed despondently. "Balki, what are we going to do?"

The Mypiot gave a small shrug. "We could play a game."

Larry scrunched up his petite nose and stared at his cousin. "We are in the middle of the ocean, about to die of thirst and starvation and you want to play a game? Aren't you scared?"

"Of course I'm scared. But right now there's nothing we can do to make things better. So we might as well pass the time."

If his head hadn't been spinning and he didn't feel like throwing his guts up he surely would have come up with a reasonable argument. But as ill as he was, any more argument would have taken too much effort. "What game?"

"How 'bout charades!" Balki's face lit up excitedly.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because the way you play you'll tip the boat over."

"Oh, right." Balki nodded. "We're not rocking the boat. Forgot. Umm. Ooh! How about 'Ding Dong Binki Dinki Sploosh!' First you close your eyes, then you…"

"How about Twenty Questions." Larry interrupted, before Balki could get too far into the rules of a Myposian game he had no intention of playing.

Balki gave a small grunt at being shot down right in the middle of his sentence. "Well, okay, but it's not as fun."

"But it's safe." Larry crossed his arms on the lip of the boat and rested his chin on them, keeping his gaze fixed on the watery horizon. "You go first."

"Okay, uhh." He tapped his chin, his brows furrowed in deep concentration. Then he smiled and chuckled softly to himself. "Got it."

"Person?"

"No."

"Place?"

"Uh, uh."

"Thing?"

"Nope."

"Animal."

"Yep."

"Sheep?"

Balki's jaw dropped in amazement. "Wwow! That was fast. You're good at this game."

"The best." Larry mumbled dryly.

Completely missing the sarcasm in his cousin's voice Balki clapped his hands in excitement. "Let me try again. Let me try again. I'll stunt you this time."

"Go ahead."

Balki bit his bottom lip as if that would help him think harder. After a moment he grinned slyly and gave a self-satisfied nod. "You'll never get this one."

"Person?"

"Yep."

"Wayne Newton."

"Now that's just uncanned!" Balki shook his head in complete awe.

Larry frowned for a moment then said: "I think you mean 'uncanny.'"

"How you did that so fast? Do you have ESPN?"

"No."

"HBO?"

"No."

"PMS?"

Larry gave his cousin a look that crossed between amusement and disgust. "Uuh, no. Besides, it's my turn." He thought a moment then nodded faintly. "Okay."

"Person?"

"No."

"Place?"

"Yes."

"Ooh, that's a hard one. The Ritz?"

"No."

"Our apartment?"

"No."

"The Park?"

"No."

Balki really had no skill at the game so half an hour later he was still asking questions and getting no closer to the answer.

"Mount Rushmore?"

"No."

"The 7 Eleven across the street from Pizza Hut?"

"No." Larry raised an eyebrow as his cousin bit his lip in frustration. "Give up?"

Balki shrugged. "I run out of places."

"It's…" An odd gurgling sound interrupted. Larry frowned. "Was that your stomach?"

Balki put a hand to his midsection and grinned sheepishly. "It's telling me it's hungry. We haven't eaten anything since yesterday lunch."

"Or drank anything." Larry added, the issue inducing him to unconsciously lick his increasingly chapped lips. He stared at the water around the boat longingly. "They say you're not supposed to drink seawater." He said with a despondent sigh.

Balki shook his head emphatically. "It make you very sick."

He gave a small shrug. "I'm already sick, so what difference would it make?" He wasn't seriously considering it…yet. But now that the subject had been brought up he couldn't get the thought of a nice cold drink out of his mind. The corner of his mouth turned up wryly. "Water, water everywhere, but not a drop to drink."

Balki gazed at his cousin appraisingly. "That's profound, Cousin. I didn't know you were a poet."

Larry turned and gave his cousin a long hard look before admitting: "That wasn't original. It's from…" His voice trailed off and his eyes narrowed. A strange rippling was growing in the previously calm waters. "Balki, what is that?" Larry sat up straight and pointed to the choppy disturbance that seemed to be growing closer.

"I think it was my tummy again."

"No, not that." He pointed at the choppy water. "That."

"Fish!" Balki exclaimed exuberantly. He rose to his feet, rocking the boat and eliciting an unbridled curse from his cousin. "You see them?!" With one leap he dove overboard.

"Balki!" Larry shouted and leaped to the edge of the boat, ignoring the queasy feeling the sudden rocking induced. "What are you doing?! Get back in the boat!" There were so many fish that visibility in the water was nearly zero. It was as if his cousin had simply disappeared. His breathing began to quicken along with his pulse. How strong was the current? Was there an undertow? If there was, was his cousin a strong enough swimmer to fight it? He didn't dare jump in after him. Larry's swimming skills had much to be desired, even in a swimming pool. He could keep his head above water but little more. And after nearly drowning after falling overboard he was loath to face the water again. But Balki was taking a long time and if he didn't come up soon Larry knew he would have to do something.

Balki breached the surface several feet from the boat. He shook his wet, ebony hair out of his eyes and turned to his cousin, easily treading water. "Hard to catch them when you're swimming." He remarked casually, before diving again.

"Balki, wait! Get back in here! Are you crazy?" Larry shouted at the water where his cousin had vanished. Movement off to the left caught his eye and his head snapped in that direction. His heart leaped into his throat and for a second he thought he might faint. Several large, gray fins skimmed the surface of the water. They were heading right for the boat. "BALKI!!" His voice rose to a high-pitched shriek. "Get up here, now! There are sharks. Balki!"

He still couldn't see anything but fish. Balki was nowhere in sight and the fins were coming closer. Larry's pulse pounded in his ears as scenes from Jaws flashed through his mind.

There was a small splash and Balki's head appeared next to the boat, the same goofy, oblivious grin on his face. "They're pretty fast, but don' worry. I'll get one."

Before Balki had a chance to dive again Larry's hand shot out and grabbed a handful of his cousin's dark hair. "Will you get in here!" He demanded as he struggled to drag his protesting friend into the boat.

"Ow! What are you doing?" Balki cried as he was hauled roughly over the edge and into the bottom of the lifeboat. He rubbed the top of his head and glared accusingly at his cousin. "Why you did that?"

"What's the matter with you?" Larry shouted accusingly. "You don't just jump into the ocean!"

Balki cocked his head innocently. "Why not? The water's calm. Not much current here."

"There are sharks!" Larry stabbed a finger at the gray fins that were now circling the boat. "You want to be eaten alive?"

Balki started at this revelation, looked at the water and laughed. "Cousin, those not sharks." He sounded as if he were reassuring a frightened child.

"Balki, I'm not stupid. I know what a shark looks like. I've seen Jaws."

"Cousin, they not sharks." Balki insisted.

"Then what are they?" The short, curly haired man demanded.

"They're…" Balki's voice trailed off as a confused frown crossed his face. "Well, sink my ship and call me Skipper! I don' know what the English word. But they not sharks." He leaned over the edge of the boat and splashed the water a few times with his hand. "Here, I show you."

Larry watched nervously as one of the fins approached, ready to jerk Balki back if the creature turned hostile. He leaned over not quite sure what to expect but he was certainly surprised when a gray head popped up and he got a face full of water. With a startled gasp he fell over backwards, banging his head on one of the oars.

"It's not going to hurt you." Balki assured as Larry scrambled to his feet.

"It's a dolphin!" He exclaimed, watching in amazement as Balki ran a gentle hand over the creature's wet snout.

"Is that what you call them?" Balki made an odd clicking sound that brought two more heads to the surface. "My uncle Philo call them a lot of things. He don't like them because they take his fish."

"Too bad one of them is not Flipper or we could send him for help."

"You want pet him?"

Larry eyed the dolphin uncertainly. "Balki, it's a wild animal. I really don't think that's a good idea."

"He won't bite you." Balki turned to the dolphin closest to the boat. "You promise not to bite Cousin Larry?"

It bobbed its head up and down and made a high-pitched clicking noise.

Larry raised an eyebrow. Maybe it really was Flipper. Either that or Balki had studied under Dr. Dolittle. In the end he decided that it was just a coincidence.

"Are…are you sure it won't bite?" He asked, a bit of childish excitement welling up inside him. As a kid he had always wanted to go to Sea World. Unfortunately his family was far from rich and taking nine kids plus two adults to a resort like that would have cost a small fortune. Not to mention Flipper had been one of his favorite shows when he was little. It would be a pretty awesome experience to touch a real wild animal like that.

"He won't bite." Balki assured again. "You better hurry before he decides to leave."

With a tiny, self-conscious laugh he moved to the edge of the boat and leaned over.

"Go on." Balki urged gently. "It's okay."

He reached out slowly, hand outstretched toward the smiling face. As he came closer the dolphin retreated under the water. He pulled his hand back. "I guess it didn't like me." He sighed, sounding a bit disappointed as he still leaned over the brim of the boat. Suddenly the head popped back up, inches from Larry, and spewed a shower of water directly in his face.

"I guess not." Balki was unable to keep himself from laughing.

Larry glared at his cousin. His lips were compressed into a thin line and water dripped off the tip of his thin nose. "It's not funny." He said through clenched teeth.

"Well…eh…Cousin, you have to admit it was a little funny." Balki was trying his best to suppress an amused smile and he was failing miserably.

The dolphin nodded its head and made a sound that Larry thought sounded suspiciously like mocking laughter before disappearing under the water.

"See? He thinks it's funny."

As the day wore on no food or water presented itself and the weather became increasingly hot and they had to take shelter under the canvas. The silence of their solitude was broken only by seawater lapping gently against the boat and, of course, Balki's singing.

"Come on down to my boat baby. Come on down we'll sail away. Fish all day, sleep all night. Father never let's her…"

"Stop it!" Larry shouted. The lack of food and water and the mind-numbing monotony was making him increasingly irritable. "Will you stop it? Stop singing. I'm sick of it!."

"Well, somebody got up on the wrong side of his head this morning."

"I didn't get up on the wrong side of anything." Larry insisted testily. "If anybody else had to be subjected to this for hours on end they would be fed up too!"

"'Fed up'? When did you eat?" Balki demanded, sounding a bit indignant.

"It's…an…expression." He said through clenched teeth. "Just stop singing. It's driving me crazy."

"You got a better way to pass the time?"

"Yes. Sit quietly."

"That's no fun."

"Balki, I'm sick. I'm tired. I don't want to have fun. So just shut up!"

Balki shrank at the unadulterated anger in his cousin's voice. "Okay." He said meekly. "I be quiet."

Hours passed in silence as the tiny boat drifted aimlessly, nothing but the gentle rippling of the water breaking the tense silence.

"Cousin, can I see your watch for a minute." Balki asked quietly.

Larry glanced at Balki, shrugged indifferently, unbuckled his watch and handed it to his cousin.

Balki turned it over in his hand, looking at it from every angle. "Maybe there's something on it we can make a fish hook."

Larry's eyes widened and he sat up straight. "No way!" He opened his hand demandingly. "Give it back."

"But it might…" Balki jerked it away from his cousin's grasp, unfortunately in doing so he lost his own grip on it and it sailed over the edge of the boat, landing in the water with a crisp little 'kerplop'.

Balki's eyes widened as he peered over the rim into the murky depths. There was absolutely no sign of Larry's watch, not even a ripple. "Uh oh…" Was all that escaped his mouth before he found himself knocked flat on his back, his airway being constricted and Larry's face inches from his own.

"My Dad gave me that watch for graduation!" Larry shouted, both hands tightly gripping his cousin's collar and shaking him vigorously.

"Cousin, I…I can't breathe when you do that." Balki managed to croak.

"How could you do this to me!?" His eyes were wide in what could only be a cross between panic and blind rage.

Balki, desperate to break his cousin's throttling grasp, reached around and grabbed a handful of his Larry's curly hair and gave it a hard yank. The next thing he knew he was engaged in a kicking, hitting, boat-rocking, hair-pulling brawl.

"How could you get us into this?!"

"Me? I no the one who go outside during a tycoon!"

Balki finally managed to pull out of the fray and stood up. "You are really being a pain in the neckbrace today. What your problem is?"

Larry was on his feet in an instant. "You! You are my problem! How can anybody…" He took a threatening step toward his cousin. The boat rocked to one side with the movement throwing him off balance. His eyes widened and he took in a sudden gasp as he toppled sideways. He made a wild grab for Balki, who in turn reached out to catch him. Their hands locked and Balki instantly realized that Larry's weight, the added momentum of his cousin's fall plus the instability of the boat were far too much for him to control.

Then next thing he knew he was in the water. He came to the surface and was relieved to find that the boat had not capsized. He turned abruptly to the splashing behind him.

"Balki!" Larry's frantic voice was cut off as his head dipped below the surface. He was thrashing wildly, trying to stay afloat, but obviously losing the battle.

With one hand the Mypiot held onto the edge of the boat and with the other calmly reached over and grabbed the back of his cousin's shirt, lifting his head and shoulders above the water. "You really can't swim worth babasticki." He pulled Larry over so he could hold on to the dingy.

The smaller man clung to the edge of the boat for dear life and coughed. "Thanks."

Balki easily treaded water beside him, looking mildly concerned about his friend. "You got to relax when you're in the water or you gonna sink like hole in the head."

Soon they were both back in the boat, the warm sun beginning to dry them. Larry once again was slumped in the bottom of the boat with his chin resting on the lip of their tiny craft staring off into the distance. Balki sat quietly on one of the benches staring at his hands. After that whole incident he didn't dare make a sound.

"Balki, I'm sorry." Larry took his eyes from the horizon to face the young immigrant. He shook his head in frustration and remorse. "I don't know what came over me. I guess I just lost it."

"It's okay, Cousin." A small, reassuring smile turned one side of his mouth. "I understand. Papa used to say 'an empty stomach and a bag full of worries can make even a wise man lose his head'."

Larry turned his gaze back out to sea with a look of hopelessness that was almost painful for Balki to behold. "Balki," He said with a sorrowful sigh. "I don't think we're going to get out of this." A deep depression seemed to take hold of him then and there. Throughout the day he sank deeper and deeper and no matter how hard he tried Balki couldn't seem to pull him out of it. Around evening he fell into a fitful sleep leaving the Mypiot all alone with nothing but the ocean to keep him company.

--

"Cousin, Cousin. Wake up."

An insistent hand upon his shoulder shook Larry from the relative security of sleep into tortured and queasy consciousness. He shoved Balki's hand away roughly not even opening his eyes. "Balki, I want to die in my sleep where the world is nice and stable. Now, leave me alone."

But the shaking persisted. "Cousin, listen. Do you hear that?" Balki's voice was edged with excitement.

"Hear what?" He mumbled groggily still trying to hang on to the last vestiges of sleep. Then he heard it. A dull roar. His eyes opened and he sat up. It was just before dawn and stars still scattered the dark sky above. But faint light rimmed the horizon announcing that the sun was soon to make an appearance. "What is that?"

"Either it's waves breaking on a beach or we're about to fall off the edge of the earth."

Larry was instantly alert. "A beach? You mean land?!" He squinted into the faint but growing light. His heart jumped at the sight of dark shape silhouetted against the morning sky. "It is land! Ha ha! Balki, were saved!" Then the boat dipped into a gully between two waves and Larry's hand instantly went to his stomach. "Ooh."

"Cousin, the waves are getting bigger as we get closer to the beach, and they'll start breaking soon. You should put on your lifejacket just in case we..."

Before the words were completely out of his mouth the deafening sound of splintering wood tore through the morning air. A sudden, jarring impact capsized the small craft pitching its occupants violently into the dark, angry surf.

After several disorienting moments of tumbling head over heels under water, Balki breached the surface with a loud gasp. He turned around in the dim light, searching for the boat. He could see it several meters away, upside down and half underwater. Splinters of wood floated by. They must have hit a submerged rock, he surmised. He ducked under the water for a moment to let a large wave pass over him. When he came up again a horrible thought hit him. Where was Larry?

"Cousin?!" His head whipped from side to side, searching the dark water around him. "Cousin Larry, can you hear me?" He shouted at the top of his voice. When no answer came a deep fear rose up in him, tying knots inside his chest. The day before Larry had graphically proved his ineptitude in the water. Could he possibly make it safely to the beach on his own?

It was only moments before he felt sand beneath him and he stumbled onto the gently sloping shore. He scarcely allowed himself time to catch his breath before rising to his feet and scanning the beach, which was now glowing in the warm pink of sunrise. The beauty went completely unnoticed, however. There was only one thing on Balki's mind. He cupped both hands around his mouth and shouted at the top of his voice. "Cousin! Cousin Larry!" The roar of the surf and a gull crying overhead was the only reply.

For a brief moment he was torn. He knew he had to search for his cousin, but which way to go? He wished there were two of him so he could go in both directions at once. Without any further thought he chose left and started down the beach, calling as he walked.

He paused briefly to drink a couple of handfuls from a small stream that trickled out of the jungle.

In only minutes he came to a small ridge of black volcanic stone that stretched from the tree line to several meters into the ocean. It wasn't very high and he climbed it easily. As he cleared the rise and got a good look at the sandy beach beyond he froze, certain that his heart had stopped cold.

Up ahead, waves lapped gently at a motionless figure, laying face down in the wet sand. He would know that compact form anywhere. It was Larry.