11. Rocks and Fish
"Cousin. Cousin wake up. You've got to see this!"
The first thing Larry noticed as he was so rudely awakened was that he felt gritty. There was sand everywhere, in his hair, in his ears, in his mouth and worst of all in his underwear. To say the least it was not a pleasant sensation. The next thing he noticed was something trying to drill into his cheek and it hurt. He lifted his head slightly and looked down. It was fairly dark but he was able to make out what the problem was. He had been sleeping on the plastic buckle of his life vest. Gently fingering his still sunburned face he could feel the impression where the buckle had pressed against his skin. He also realized he was in bad need of a shave.
"Come on, get up." Balki shook him urgently, excitement bubbling in his voice. "Rise and be shiny. This is important!"
Larry groaned and pushed himself up. There was a glow around the horizon but it was still a long while until daylight. "Balki, are you going to make a habit of waking me up before sunrise?"
"Look!" Balki stabbed a finger straight out to sea.
Larry followed the gesture. "What?"
"Do you see the lights?"
"Lights?" He squinted into the fading darkness wondering if his cousin was going island happy. Then suddenly he saw them, just on the edge of the horizon; two small dots of light, a red one and a blue one. They were moving in synchrony ever so slowly from left to right. "It's a boat."
"Are they coming to pick us up?"
Larry shook his head with growing hope. "No. They're heading for the other island." He turned suddenly to Balki. "Do you know what that means?!"
"They're on a three hour tour?"
"It means that there are people there! It means we can still be rescued!"
Balki gave his cousin a brisk slap on the back. "See, I told you not to give up hope."
"All we've got to do is figure out a way to get over there."
Balki stared intently at the island in the faintly growing light, trying to judge the distance. "I could maybe swim that far."
Larry turned abruptly to his cousin in surprise, startled by the dire risk involved in his cousin's offhanded suggestion. "No way! That's got to be at least ten miles of open ocean. You'd never make it."
Balki smiled a bit and gave a small shrug. "I don't mean to blow my own nose, but I am a very good swimmer. I won second place in the sheep stroke at the 1979 Myposian Olympics."
Larry shook his head emphatically. "Absolutely not. Forget it. I won't let you do it. It's too dangerous." His tone left no room for argument.
Balki let out an imperceptible sigh of relief. Truth be told it was a very long way and the thought of the undertaking frightened him. But he had felt obligated to voice it as an option.
"Besides, if anything was to happen to you where would that leave me? Being shipwrecked is one thing. Being shipwrecked alone is on a whole other level of disaster. No, we'll have to think of something else." Larry's forehead creased in concentration.
"Well," Balki said with a smile. "There's more than one way to sheer a sheep."
Larry snapped his fingers triumphantly. "We'll build a boat!"
"A boat?" Balki asked, looking quite unsure of the idea.
"Sure. Strap a few logs together..." He gave a small shrug. "How hard can it be?"
"I don't know, Cousin. If the Professor, a guy with three esp's can't build a decent boat from things on an island…"
"That's 'phd's'. And the Professor couldn't build a boat because then they would all be rescued and that would have been the end of the show! Now, as soon as it gets light we'll go out and look for some wood."
Later that morning, after a thorough search they learned that there were three types of wood on their little island: Palm trees, miscellaneous brush and driftwood. The palm trees were simply too big and heavy for either of them to make use of, and with Balki's pocket knife as their only tool there was no way to cut them into a more manageable size. Brush was simply out of the question. The only thing it was good for was kindling. And the available driftwood wasn't much better. The biggest pieces they could find were about as big around as a bowling ball but none were long enough to serve any useful purpose besides firewood.
Building a raft was no longer an option.
"We've got to come up with another plan." Larry said determinedly as he took another bite of coconut. It turns out they were a bit easier to open than he had previously thought.
He stared hard at the island in the distance. Now he truly understood the meaning of the saying 'so close and yet so far'.
Balki sat in the sand, using the log as a worktable as he tried to drill holes in the shells he had collected with his pocket knife. It wasn't working too well and he had already had a cut on his index finger, but he resolutely kept at it. "If we had a bottle and some paper we could send them a note and tell them we're a couple of poor unfortunate souls and need somebody to come get us."
Larry rolled his eyes at the suggestion. "Then I suppose Haley Mills is supposed to come and rescue us? Even if we had a bottle and paper it wouldn't work."
Balki looked up from his craft project. "Why not?"
He gave his cousin a condescending smirk. "No stamp." After a moment his face alit in revelation. "But we could write a note where they might see it."
The young immigrant glanced at him quizzically. "Where that would be?"
"On the beach! We'll write it big enough so that if a boat comes close enough or a plane flies over they'll have to see it. We can make the letters out of those black rocks." He gestured vaguely down the beach toward the small ridge of volcanic stone that stood in the distance.
"Cousin, that's a great idea! Now, lets see, we need something simple and to the point." Balki tapped his chin thoughtfully. "How about 'if anyone happens to fly over and reads this, please rescue us because we're stranded and want to go home'?"
Larry gave his cousin a long look before saying: "How about 'help'?"
"That would work too."
--
"Alright. You're doing good. We're almost there. Just a little ways more. Keep coming."
Balki carried a large rock in his arms while Larry directed him with exaggerated gestures to their nearly finished 'H'.
"Cousin, I've been thinking." Balki stopped as he reached his cousin, obviously struggling to hold on to his burden.
"Yes?"
"Why it is that I'm doing all the work and you are just stand there and talk. I don't need directions, you know. "
Larry shook his head. "Balki, Balki, Balki. With any team project there has to be order. There's the management." He put a hand on his chest, indicating himself. "And the workers." He gestured to Balki.
"Why I can't be a magnate for a while?"
"Because I'm the one with the bad back."
With a defeated sigh Balki let the rock drop along side the other ones.
"Gaaaa!" Larry leaped back grabbed one bare foot in both hands and hopped around in a little circle.
Balki took in a dismayed gasp and clamped both hands over his mouth. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"
Larry suddenly dropped his foot, stood up straight, gave Balki a devious smirk and said: "Gotcha."
Balki let out an indignant huff. "That's not funny! I thought I broke your foot."
His smug grin quickly turned to curious frown. "Hey, look."
Balki turned. There, in the gentle surf, something large and white turned in the waves.
"It's the canvas from the boat." Larry decided as he started toward the water.
Moments later they came out of the water, wet up to the waist, pulling the large cloth up onto the beach. It turned out to be quite useful to their project. They were able to pile several rocks onto the canvas at once and, working together, pulled it to the work site.
Only about an hour later they were finished. Both Balki and Larry stood with hands on hips admiring the twenty-foot letters.
"Looks pretty good if I do say so myself." Larry rubbed a shoulder absently. The work had left him a bit sore. "They won't be able to miss that."
"Well," Balki cocked his head, appraising. "knowing me, knowing you, it's the best we can do."
"Now all we have to do is wait." Larry turned and stared out to sea toward the island as if he expected a boat or plane to appear any second. After a minute or two Balki clamped a hand on his shoulder making him jump.
"I got an idea for what we can do while we wait. Come, I teach you to fish."
Larry laughed at the suggestion. "Me, catch fish with my hands? I'd never be able to do that."
"Oh, come on, Cousin. It's so easy a caveman can do it!"
---
"Balki, we've been at this for an hour now. I don't think I'm going to get the hang of it." They stood waist deep in the gently lapping surf. Balki stood directly behind his cousin, looking over his shoulder and gently guiding his hands through the water.
"Romacos was not built in a day." The Mypiot said matter-of-factly. "It was built in three."
"I'm not fast enough."
"Just, keep trying. You'll get hung soon."
"That's comforting."
"Here comes another one!" Balki whispered urgently as a foot long fish swam casually in their direction. "No, just move your hands. Don' take a step or you'll scare him."
Larry held his breath as he allowed Balki to guide his hands so they were hovering on either side of the fish. He felt excitement build up inside him. He was so close! He might just catch this one. "Now?" He whispered so faintly he had barely heard himself.
"Not yet. Make your horses wait."
What could he possibly be waiting for?
"Now! Grab him!"
In an instant Larry brought his hands together. To his complete shock and elation he felt something slick and scaly struggling in his grip. "I caught it!" He laughed in disbelief as he brought his hands up with a splash, triumphantly displaying the flailing fish. "Balki, I did it! Look at that. Ha ha!"
"You did it!" Balki applauded enthusiastically, sharing the excitement of his cousin's victory. He clamped a firm hand around Larry's shoulders. "See? What I did tell you?"
Larry turned to Balki, still laughing. "I can't believe I did this!"
"Now all you gotta do is konk him on the head and cook him up."
"I never thought fishing could be so much fun!" It had given him such a rush he could hardly contain it. "Here." He handed the fish to Balki who took it with a rather puzzled expression. "I want to see if I can catch one by myself."
Smiling at his friend's enthusiasm, he gave him an encouraging slap on the back that practically sent him face first into the water, before sloshing up onto the beach. He laid Larry's very first fish out on the nearest rock and sat down to watch. Larry made several failed attempts but to Balki's surprise it did nothing to dampen his confidence. He was so glad that Larry was finally allowing himself to forget their predicament for a little while and have some fun.
"Hey, Balki, you should see this fish!" Larry hollered up from the water. "It's pink with dark strips and has these crazy fins. It's not very fast. I think I can catch it."
Balki's leaped to his feet with a sudden gasp. "Not that fish!"
Larry was either too absorbed in what he was doing to hear his cousin's warning or was simply ignoring it.
Balki took off toward the water as fast as he could. "Cousin, stop! Not that fish!"
"I've almost got it!"
He splashed right up to his cousin and gave him a firm smack upside the head.
"Ow! Hey!"
"What the matter with you is?! Have you gone stork and raven mad? I said not that fish!"
"It's just a fish." Larry said, looking extremely irritated.
"Cousin, those fins got spikes on them! You grab that fish and your hands swell up like baboons and burn like a ring of fire, you get a headache, you throw up and you feel like babasticki for hours."
Larry's eyes widened and he instinctively pulled his hands out of the water. "Why didn't you tell me?"
Balki rolled his eyes with an exasperated sigh. "Talking to you is like talking to a chicken. They got ears, but do they listen?"
Larry suddenly cocked his head, something else suddenly catching his attention. "Do you hear something?"
"See what I mean? I rest my face!"
"Balki, listen!"
A strange whirring sound rose above the gently ripping water. They both looked around in confusion for a moment until Larry took in a loud breath and shouted:
"It's a helicopter!"