It was no fun when the person you're poking had no reaction.
In fact, Rukia thought it was boring, for each every poke of flesh only counts with—
'Hey, that's the sixth vein popping on his head…'
She thought poking was one of the most annoying things one could do to gain attention. And it certainly didn't fail her with Ichigo, Renji, and Grimmjow—the three who had the funniest outcomes when it came to "poking fun" at them. Ichigo topping it when he fell on their two-story building…He was the one dumb enough sitting on their (school) windowsill while he brooded.
Now that was hilarious.
But Hitsugaya Toushiro was a different matter altogether. The raven head had never met a person who had so much patience...if only she knew.
Rukia pursed her lips in a frustrated manner.
Very well then, she rarely resorts to this since it's not very hard getting attention with all the poking, but Toushiro was asking for it.
"Aizen and Momo seating in a tree!" she sang audibly with barely closed eyes, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips, sensing the white-haired male shake in suppressed fury.
But not for long...
"K-I-S-S—!"
"Shut up! What the hell do you want!?" emerald eyes turned to her in sharpened edges.
"Much better," Rukia leaned back on her seat, they were at their empty chem. class, at least ten minutes before it starts and she was finishing her late lunch with a moody Toushiro, who was ruining her ambience because of his all-encompassing dark clouds over his head. "Instead of keeping your anger in, you should let it out more."
"I. Am. Not. Angry." This girl had serious problems.
"Could've fooled me." Rukia took a swig of her water bottle, noting his clenched fist. "You know, I've been with people who had anger problems, and the first step is not to deny—"
"I'm not!! What is it with you being so fucking bothersome!?"
"What is it with you being so depressed?'
"I am not depress!"
"Oh, so you deny being angry and being depressed?" the raven head shrugged calmly, letting him take out his anger. She had never worked with someone who hadn't blown a fuse before, and this was no different. "So what? You got PMS?"
The white-haired male breathed in deeply and slowly let it out. "You—Kuchiki Rukia, are a fucking pain in the ass."
And the raven head laughed.
"Well, that isn't so hard to say now is it?" her eyes twinkled as she swiped a few stray tears from her laughing session. "You're not the first one to tell me that."
Getting that off his chest actually felt good, and Rukia was not the least perturbed and Toushiro was then at least able to think straight. But being angry at her still did not dissipate from his mind.
"So? Mind explaining to me why the hell the whole campus believed that we're a couple?'
Ah, there goes his anger…
"Well, before that," she tapped her chin in thought, "I have to commend you on your great job last night. I thought I needed to call the cops on you, but thank goodness—"
"You're not answering my question…"
"And besides," Rukia sighed exasperatedly for the umpteenth time that day, bluntly ignoring the irate younger man. "You're not the worst in my book."
"Tch. You insult me, and then compliment me. Where the hell are you getting at?" the white-haired male gave her an icy glare.
"While there are multiple flaws in your personality—"
"Look who's talking-"
Rukia promptly threw her sandwich wrapper at him, "Whitey-chan, I am trying to dissect a plan for your love life—"
"Please don't say "dissect" ever again-" his head connected with the desk.
He felt so violated when she used it. It was like she was prying to his personal life…which she was, and he truly didn't want to be reminded of his mistake in taking up her offer. The emerald eyed male was already far in too deep trying to explain that they were NOT a couple in the whole camp--to no avail.
"Fine, analyze—as you so wanted to eloquently put it."
"Analyze? Seems too brain consuming for you, isn't it?" he looked up at her with raised brows, "Then again you don't have one to begin with—"
"Don't talk down to the future psychologist of Japan, whitey-chan." Her empty water bottle was next to make an imprint in Toushiro's head
His eyes went owlish, his bruised skull forgotten in preference of gaping, "W-wha--? You? A psychologist?"
Never in his life had he been utterly dumbstruck.
"A psychologist's secretary?" he scratched his head.
"Ugh! No! You idiot! Psychologist! With the whole PhD, masters degree, "Dr. Kuchiki" kind of thing!" she glared at him, "Why does everyone get the impression that I'm going to be a stupid psychologists' secretary?!"
"Because it is more plausible than being the psychologist itself," the white-haired male couldn't keep his grin in.
"Argh! You don't know how hard it is to take two classes with Ichimaru-sensei! It's torture! Torture I tell you! And he always picks on me! Damned fox-eyed bastard!" Toushiro just gave her a bored look, clearly far from believing her dreams, "You know what? Forget it!" the raven head slammed her palms on her desk. "Now what was it you were asking me?"
Oh, hey look, they were actually back on their topic…
A vein made its pulsating way back to his forehead, angry at her (and a bit to himself) for being so distracted, "Why we are a couple?"
"Because it is more plausible than being just your friend," she mocked back, eyes glinting in amusement.
"We. Are. Absolutely. Not." He grounded out angrily, eyes burning to wring the little midget's neck.
"I'll give you a hint," Rukia smirked, glad to converse with an easy subject, "We went out for a date-"
"That was your payment!"
"You make me sound like a whore…"
"Maybe you are—"Smack!
"Stop getting off track!"
"You're the one saying irrelevant things!"
Both individuals huffed, Rukia massaging her temples and Toushiro rubbing his newly acquired bump to the head.
"It's my lesson #23." The raven head consented to spill her plan, seating back down and folding her legs.
"Oh yeah, that narrows it down." Came the sarcastically impatient reply.
"Shush! I'm not done." both glowered at the other, "I don't usually use it with my clients since they're not as desperate as you—"
"Dammit! I'm not!"
"Uh-huh," her eyes slanted in mischief nodding in silent hilarity. "Well basically, it's just a run-test. If Momo-chan gets jealous, then we could fairly say that she has feelings for you."
She explained it further, "At this rate, it would earn you a good fifty-fifty chance to sweep her off her feet. Besides, you and I need to work in close quarters so as to not make it overly suspicious—thus the couple idea. It's better to "declare our union" than doing it in "secrecy"-that would only jeopardize the plan if she found out. At least Momo-chan doesn't need to know that you're actually just taking suave orders from me—"
"Why does this sound more like a doomed plan than something oh-so-brilliant?" the white-haired male gave her a scrutinizing look. But in the overall outlook of things it was quite an…okay plan, given that it was her idea. But he wasn't fully trusting on the idea either--this was Kuchiki Rukia-the evil bitch in his life we're talking about.
But didn't she say she'd done this before?
"Fluffy—"
"Stop calling me that!"
"Have you seen that man's legs?"
"What?" he blanched, eyes in disgusted horror. She was not referring to that superman-impostor-professor of theirs was she?
"All women would want a piece of that—"
"I don't care!" and he truly doesn't, as the topic was sorely grating insult on his own stature.
"Well you should." The raven head gave him an 'are-you-insane-you-should-totally-do-it' kind of look as she stopped--eyes in disbelief. "Have you ever heard that almost 93 percent of women look at the man's legs on the first date?"
"Why the hell are you telling me this!?"
"Because!" she's going for the gold on this one, "Yours is not long enough!"
A gasps was heard coming from the door, five (male) students who came early to set up their experiment was unfortunate to stumble upon the two.
Completely, and understanding the last line in "In the Gutter" translation—being one of them as Asano Keigo, the largest pervert (his mouth foaming in utter surprise at the cutest girl in class saying such a daring thing, ) and Mizuiro the biggest playboy in Seiretei U, who had dropped his phone in shock.
They all knew that they just "started" dating but…it seems like it was the contrary.
No one knew Kuchiki Rukia was so bold.
And no one knew when Hitsugaya Toushiro would snap.
Well…it would be sooner that they all thought though…
OOO
OOOO
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OOOO
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I just love the last line, don't you? apologies for the rather short (but u gotta admit, amusing) chapter. Next, let's take a break and look into Rukia's other "clients/boys" this should be fun…heheh thanks for the many reviews, they're all loved! :) :)