STRAWBERRY PANDEMONIUM PART 6

Author's note: Don't read this story if you are prudish or one of those stuck up literary types that jerk off to Shakespeare and worship Harold Bloom. You won't get that kind of stuff here. While I'm on the subject, although the rating has been changed to teen, this is strictly for TEENS and up. I trust that all of you (well, most of you anyways.) possess the maturity to handle profanity and sexual jokes. If you are a prepubescent little twinkie shit who hasn't even dropped his balls and still cringe at the 'F' (G-g-g-g-gasp) word, seriously, get the fuck out. If you are under prepubescent age, what in the flying fuck are you doing in and in STRAWBERRY PANIC of all places? Pfft. Anyways, here's the story, and don't forget to review! Flames are welcome, but be prepared for a venomous rebuttal. Also, please note that you will need a decent amount of knowledge about internet culture to properly 'get' this fanfic.

Yaya stood over a gaggle of felled anonymous. Some of them reverted back to adolescent schoolgirls, while some turned into stranger things such as mannequins.

'That would explain the ones that don't move....' Yaya clutched her knees and breathed heavily. The Anonymous were easy enough to beat up, it was all a matter of dodging their hands when they attempted to shove a 'Knife hand? I'm pretty sure that's what my Tae Kwon Do Teacher said....' into your chest in hopes of turning you into a faceless green freak.

Kaname was still clutching Momomi as if she were some kind of magical totem pole that could grant her immunity.

'No thanks to you two.' Snarled Yaya, 'By the way, I've always wanted to do this....' She stepped over to Kaname and cocked her fist.

'Wha-what the fuck are you doing? We apologized already!'

'Sorry, not enough. It doesn't make up for the time you tried to finger me in the janitor's closet.'

'Wait-'

Yaya's fist connected with Kaname's nose and snapped it inwards. A satisfying crack sounded.

'Arrrrggghh!!! You buh-buhloke by dose!' She writhed around on the ground, spurting blood out between her fingertips.

'You bitch-

Yaya shut up Momomi with a back kick to her face, making sure she had a clear imprint before she retracted her foot.

'I'll bubbing bet oo, oo bidth!'

'Sorry, what was that?' Yaya flipped Kaname off before marching with a self satisfied grin on her face, 'That'll teach those two....it will be a long, long time before they think of raping other students again....'

In her self satisfied reverie, she bumped into something that was as tall as her thigh.

She looked down and saw Pedobear with a newly regenerated 8 inch dick.

'What....in....the....dickens....are you?' In her astonishment, she even forgot to utilize her potty mouth.

The bear made some kind of incomprehensible noise before sending Yaya a telepathic signal.

'The name's Pedobear, little children is my game.'

Yaya raised an eyebrow and shot back a thought, 'I'm not sure what you're talking about, but you're blocking my way.'

'Oh, I'm going to do much more than block your way, girlie, how old are you?'

His member flopped up and down like a beached whale. Yaya sighed.

'Why do all of you inter dimensional entities have huge wieners? It's kind of ridiculous, really....'

Pedobear's stuffed mouth gave a little lopsided smirk, 'All the better to fuck underage girls like you with? Let's get on with this, I've had enough of waiting-

Yaya sidestepped with three foot tall pervert and marched with heady deliberation towards the south entrance.

'What!? You can't just walk away from me like that! I am PEDOBEAR! THE GREATES T MEME KNOWN TO MANKIND!!'

Yaya turned around, 'You're an internet meme?'

'Sure I am. Don't you ever go online?'

'Yeah, I go online, but only to MSN and Facebook. What kind of loser gets these kinds of things you speak of?'

'IT'S INTERNET CULTURE!!'

'Whatever.'

'I'll....I'll make sure that Zalgo gets you when he's summoned. He is the bringer of the end!'

Yaya coughed once or twice and spoke aloud, 'Look, I have no time to play with an ugly stuffed bear with an oversized dick, so if you'll excuse me-

Pedobear reappeared in front of Yaya, 'It won't be quite as simple as that. As long as I'm in the proper range, You will never defeat me.'

Yaya rolled up her grass stained sleeves, 'Alright then, get ready for an ass whupping then.'

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The dining room was in chaos. There were roughly a hundred Anonymous crammed into the room, clamouring for a piece of Shizuma as she sat on top of a chandelier. She was out of reach for the moment, but as stupid as the Anonymous were, it would not be long before they found a way to bring down Shizuma's perch.

Chikane fired a grenade into the crowd.

To her dismay, the grenade simply disappeared within a foot of impact.

Lucy frowned, 'I.....don't get it though....I thought it worked on the staircase....'

Shizuma yelled from her perch, 'THE CLOSER THEY ARE TO THE BOILER ROOM, THE MORE POWER THEY HAVE!!' The din of the Anonymous reciting the internet rules almost drowned out the message.

'BUT WHAT ABOUT OSHIBARU!? HE CUT OFF TWO OF-

Lucy decided that it was best not to reveal her Diclonius heritage, 'I MEAN, OSHIBARU WAS WAY FROM THE BOILER ROOM, AND HE HAD THE POWER-

'OSHIBARU!? That girl is insane....' Shizuma muttered the last bit to herself.

The crowd of Anonymous suddenly noticed the new presence in the room.

'Took them long enough....' Lucy thought in a daze.

Chikane gave a frightened yell and wasted all her grenades on the advancing Anonymous.

'Smooth move....' Lucy mumbled as she slowly backed away, 'C'mon, we can outrun them....Just get them to the staircase, and then you can slice them up, right, Himeko? Erm....Himeko?

Chikane was frantically shrieking Himeko's name and cursing Anonymous.

Lucy realized Himeko had been turned when she wasn't looking.

'Oh crap....there goes number one on the death list....'

An agonized scream pierced the air as Chikane chest was punctured by a slimy green hand. Her facial features flickered for a bit before melting into a faceless green. Her former red and white school uniform twisted and distorted itself before turning into a suit with a strangely satisfying sounding 'Schloop!'

Lucy's stomach turned to ice.

'This is the end. Not killed by Kakuzawa, not killed by the military, not even killed by Hamasaka, but killed by a bunch of faceless green men in fucking SUITS!!'

Lucy's mind raced over the possibilities. There was the slight chance she could do one of those whizzing disco slides through the spaces between the Anonymous' legs, but who knew what their dimensional barriers would do to her?

Shizuma called from the chandelier, 'SORRY IT HAD TO END THIS WAY!! I WOULD HELP YOU IF I COULD, BUT I'M STUCK!!

Lucy muttered, 'Save yourself then....this is the end, I guess....' She braced herself and thought about what Kouta would be doing at home right at that moment.

'He would probably be mulling around the computer typing up fan fiction or studying for his biology mid terms....' She smiled when she pictured Kouta's oversized glasses he got at a discount sale at Hakim Optical.

The jingle rang loudly in her head as Anonymous' hand reached into her.

Inexplicably however, nothing happened to her.

Lucy raised her eyebrows in surprise and muttered, 'What....the hell?'

The Anonymous in front of her suddenly developed a mouth that encompassed his entire face and screamed with the voice of a rusted trumpet.

The mouth opened wider and wider until with a sickening crack, the upper jaw drooped backwards like a Pez Dispenser. The skin turned from a bright green into a feeble gray as the Anonymous dropped to the floor.

'My Diclonius genes. It's incompatible with Dicloniuses. Who would have thought?'

The other Anonymous slowly backed away from Lucy, giving her a wide berth as she walked cautiously out of the room.

Shizuma squealed, 'You can't just leave me here! I'm fucking stuck!'

Lucy murmured, 'Isn't that what you said to me when I needed help?'

Shizuma's eyes rolled around wildly, 'Get me down from here! They'll get me, I know it!!'

'Cool your jets, Shizuma. You and I both know that the moment you step down from that chandelier, you're going to get turned. Besides, Chikaru and company are going into the boiler room as we speak. This is all going to be over before you know it.'

Lucy went into a slow jog towards nowhere in particular before turning back and asking, 'Pardon my asking, but where's the boiler room?'

'Why should I tell you?' Shizuma said in a blubbering voice, 'You won't even help me!'

Rolling her eyes in disgust, Lucy snarled, 'Stop your whining! I'm going to the boiler room to stop this fiasco! Just tell me where it is, granny!'

Shizuma's eyes suddenly glazed over like an old doll, 'Granny....granny....it's been a long time since I've been called that....'

Lucy huffed, 'Okay, I take that back! Where's the boiler room?'

'Granny.....granny....granny....it's been a loooong time....'

The Anonymous had as tense air about them. Most of them had their fists clenched in anger from not being able to turn the pink haired nuisance.

The frustrated Diclonius gave a frustrated barrage of obscenities before barging out of the room.

The Anonymous turned back to that ever-so-tempting prey dangling on the chandelier.

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The boiler room stank of sulphur, feces, and carried the slightly comforting smell of hot steam.

Chikaru cocked her Uzi's.

'Careful troops, I've got a bad feeling about this.'

Tamao cuddled close to her girlfriend, 'Chicky....I'm scared....'

A loud thump caused by the bubbling hot water in the boilers went Ba Bump!

Tamao jumped a little and hit her hips on the railing while still holding on to Chikaru. The action almost caused the two to fall off the catwalk railings.

'Just....calm down Tamao. We're almost there. You don't need to worry....I'll protect you....'

Remon and Kizuna were sweating heavily from their respective loads.

The two oversized guns clicked and clacked against Remon's bullet belt as she swayed to and fro from heat exhaustion, 'It's....boiling....in here....' She breathed, 'Chikaru.....there's too many grenades in my backpack....'

Kizuna hoisted her rocket launcher slightly higher, 'C'mon, Remon. Remember the exercise club? It can't get much worse than that.'

Remon remembered Chikaru's 200 burpee program and immediately resumed her normal pace.

A high pitched giggle sounded through the rustic chamber.

Chikaru stopped dead in her tracks and signalled for her troops to crouch down.

Remon held her breath as she cocked her .45's. The only gun she had ever fired in her life was a .22 practice rifle in the Target Practice club.

'This should be easy enough....these .45's are so much smaller than .22's, it should be easy....' Armed with this new false comfort, Remon pushed up her fogged glasses and waited.

Heavy steps of moon boots clattered methodically through the maze of railed catwalks, drawing nearer and nearer to the four.

Kizuna bit the bottom of her lip as she loaded a rocket into her M72 LAW.

Tamao was given an Uzi by Chikaru.

'Remember Tamao....don't shoot until I give the order....you know how to turn the safety off, right?'

Tamao hyperventilated like a dying hamster. Her trigger finger bounced back and forth spastically. Thankfully her safety was still on. She nodded ten times in two seconds.

Upon closer listening, the high pitched laugh belonged to a man. A man who had not yet transcended the gates of puberty.

'The laugh of a basement dweller....' Chikaru thought in dismay. She was in charge of Lulim's email filter, and she had seen her fair share of basement dwellers attempting to request lesbian sex videos from mostly herself and Shion.

'I don't even like that blonde bitch....' Chikaru toyed with one of her ribbons and tried to hold back her shivering, 'How did it even get to this? I remember this morning I was still knitting anime faces into my blankets....'

A corpulent shadow filled the reddish light cast by the bits of rust in the air and the mysteriously red coloured pot lights.

'I'm going to kill the idiot who suggested that for aesthetics....' Chikaru thought in a daze, 'On that note, This boiler room should be renovated....'

The pallid face of a Caucasian man in his mid twenties peered out from obscurity. He was wearing a red and blue striped shirt barely holding in his immense girth. He wore tight pissed soaked jeans and wore a yellow retooled medallion of Sonic the Hedgehog's head.

He smiled and revealed a two rows of yellowed teeth. Chikaru could have sworn she saw a piece of vegetation growing from his overly red gums.

'Hello, my name is Chris Chan, and finding my one true love is my game.'

Chikaru cleared her throat, 'Erm....can you kindly step out of the way? We're in the middle of something important here.'

Chris Chan took several steps closer, 'All of you are....so sweet and beautiful looking. Would any of you like to be my sweetheart?'

Chikaru aimed her Uzi at the man made of fail.

'I'm warning you! Take one step closer, and you're mincemeat.' Her hand shook.

Chris Chan's face darkened, 'Do you have a boyfriend?'

'What?'

'I said....' Chris Chan slid forwards in slow and shuffling steps, 'Do you have a boyfriend?'

Chikaru's face changed from incredulous to angry to incredulous and reverted to simply being amazed, 'I-I'm gay. My girlfriend's Tamao over here.'

Chris Chan slid closer, 'So....I see....I'm handsome, don't you like me?'

'Y-y-y.....' Chikaru shook her Uzi, 'DON'T COME ANY CLOSER!!'

The corpulent man child looked at Remon and Kizuna, 'So I'm guessing you two are homosexuals too?'

Kizuna pushed up her glasses and said in a shaking voice, 'If you have any idea where you are, you would know that 99 percent of this school is gay!'

Chris Chan's eyes glowed feverishly, 'It's....bad to be gay....it's....unnatural.'

Tamao prepared to turn off the safety.

The hulking man child continued, 'God says it's....bad. Don't do that or else you'll get the pricklie wicklies.'

'What are you talking about? God says to be accepting of everyone!' Tamao squeaked. Her hand shook violently.

Kizuna was the first one to notice the bulge in Chris' pocket.

'Look out! He's got something in there!'

A wide foolish grin spread over his pasty cheeks, 'We-ell, I guess you found out my little present.' Before he could fish out a jet black gun with a nozzle shaped like a dildo, Kizuna opened fire.

The small but deadly M72 LAW sighed with a dejected hushing sound before farting out a pointed anti-tank projectile.

Chris Chan only had time to spout out, 'Darn you all!' before the rocket took away most of his upper body. Shreds and chunks of striped shirt and flesh flew in an upwards arc before raining down in a spectacular shower gore upon the girls.

Chikaru burped and almost had a torrent of vomit force its way through her throat, 'This is like one of those badly drawn third rate guro mangas.'

Kizuna's knees shook and her mouth quivered, 'I-I killed him.'

'No shit, Sherlock.' Chikaru muttered as she tried to turn the smoking goblets of viscera plastered on her shoulders into mere pink bubble gum.

Tamao suddenly gave a shriek, 'Look! Something's happening!'

Remon pushed her glasses up and made sure it wasn't the fog that was responsible for what was taking place in front of her.

The remaining lower half of Chris Chan's body had been miraculously left standing after his encounter with the missile, and the broken bloody candy cane that was the remnants of his spinal cord started to shake violently, squelching and squealing as bits of a brownish substance started to rise from the cauterized top of his lower body.

Tamao pinched her nose, 'It smells like shit!'

'That's because it is shit.' Chikaru breathed, 'I can't believe he's regenerating, and with feces of all things.' She held her nose, 'Guys, open fire.'

Tamao clumsily switched off the safety of her gun after several fumbles. Remon blasted away with her .45's and was immediately knocked flying by the immense recoil. The bullets missed, ricocheted, and almost took off Chikaru's head, mangling one of her ribbons instead.

'Remon! What the fuck!?' Chikaru screamed absentmindedly as she barely held out against the staccato recoil of her Uzi.

Tamao's bullets sprayed everywhere. Most of the bullets entered the ceiling pipes, causing hot steam to burst through the wounds. The girls were forced to duck for a small period of time as Tamao screamed, wailed and caterwauled in a crazy square dance with her spazzing Uzi. It was either Lady Luck deciding to give Tamao a break or simply her clumsiness, but Tamao tripped over Remon's leg and fired a full three rounds into Chris Chan's cha-cha-ing crotch.

The feces that spiralled upwards trying to form itself into a passable shape of an upper body gave an angry congealed roar and sped up it's recovery.

The bleeding hole that was put in the middle of Chris Chan's jeans oozed and spurted out crimson tides of blood and dick. It was almost like watching someone piss blood, except there was nothing for Chris Chan to piss with in this case.

'He's distracted!' Let's get out of here!' Chikaru screamed.

In their excitement, Chikaru's two henchmen dropped their backpacks and skirted around the feces covered internet celebrity. Tamao, in a last act of desperation, threw her uzi at the twirling spiral of shit trying to form into a body and successfully planted a hole through the quivering mountain, causing a massive and messy collapse of bodily waste in all directions. It stank like a sewer to high heaven.

'C'mon!' Chikaru yelled. Her other ribbon fell off.

Tamao covered her nose and ran around the festering pile of doo doo that was attempting to crawl back onto the foundation that was the cauterized lower half of Chris' body. Tamao felt something wet and warm cling onto her ankles and found out in utter dismay that it was a hand shaped mound of crud composed of blackened constipation styled poop and a touch of dripping diarrhea.

She gave a loud and lengthy shriek, 'CHICKY!! HELP!! HE'S GOT ME!!!'

Chikaru spun around, bumped into the catwalk railing and almost fell off. Her eyes widened in horror as she witnessed her girlfriend attempt to pull away from the fecal based monster.

The mound of brown goodness formed another section, turning into a crap shaped effigy of Chris Chan's head, 'I have my sweetheart now. Don't worry. She'll turn away from her evil gay ways with me.'

Chikaru gave a furious growl and abandoned all but a miniscule sliver of rationality as she leapt towards the crap shaped arm, 'Let....go...of HER!!' She screamed as she pulled on the steaming stinky arm.

Chris Chan's face laughed in a strangely chocolately voice, 'She's my sweetie, you can't do nothing about it! Come to think about it, you'd make a good sweetheart too!' Another shit arm, this time thicker and dripping with more diarrhea wrapped itself around Chikaru's waist.

'You'll never get away with this!' Chikaru shrieked, 'How the scat play fans will love this.' A strange inner voice intoned. She flailed like a dying fish for several moments before realizing that in doing so she would be simply covered in more shit.

A small shadow appeared behind a petrified Remon and Kizuna.

'Well, it seems that you have reached farther than I'd expected.' The familiar voice of Kagome lilted.

'Kagome!' Spat Chikaru. The thick length of shit around her waist was edging ever so close to her mouth, 'You little traitor, why are you doing this!? I didn't even know you were capable of wiping your own ass without that stupid little bear-

Chikaru tried valiantly to tilt her head away from the brown snake but only succeeded in straining her neck.

Kagome's eyes however, were non-existent. She had either dug them out manually with her sharp little fingernails or with a spoon. All that was left were two gaping bloody holes that showed a little bit of her brains and some webby looking things that looked like dried up membranes. She had been exposing her two eyeholes to open air for two long.

Chikaru's voice faltered as she felt her throat go completely dry, 'Kagome chan....what....happened to you? Where are your.....eyes?'

Kagome laughed and put up her hands, 'Can't you see? Where we're going, we don't need eyes.'

'What are you talking about!?'Tamao struggled a little more against the Rodin-esque hands that bound her to Chris Chan, 'You need to go a hospital right now! Why would you do this to yourself!?'

Kagome gave another chilling laugh, 'You see, this is the seventh mystery of Astrea Hill. There's a gateway to hell in the boiler room!' She threw back her head and cackled dryly, 'I found out the hard way when I wandered down here with Oshibaru, and met the demon Belphegor. He told me the truth about anime, and I saw....I SAW!!!' Kagome suddenly shrieked, 'I saw that our mere existence is a facade caused by the manipulation of the super strings in the tenth dimension by those....those wretched HUMANS!!'

'What are you talking about?' Remon asked in a small voice, ' We are human....'

Kagome gave another maniacal giggle and said in a voice tinged with venom, 'What I have seen can only be shown, and if I showed you, you would dig out your own eyes too!!' The little girl twitched a little bit before cocking her head sideways in a rather animalistic way.

Chikaru was slightly disturbed by what Kagome was spouting. She had always wondered why her pupils were so ridiculously red and big, 'Wait....so you're saying our entire existence is a fabrication?'

'Damn right!' The Kagome thing threw back her head and cackled, 'The only way to find out for yourselves is to cross over into the other dimension, which is precisely what I'm trying to do here!'

Chikaru struggled against the fecal restraints and inhaled some of the lumpy brown substance in the process, 'It tastes like nothing. I was expecting it taste a little more pungent....' Chikaru thought as-a-matter-of-factly. She gagged and feebly continued her struggle.

'It's no use now, Chikaru sempai.' Kagome murmured in a voice dripping with malevolence, 'Soon, you will be consumed by shit, and your friends here will get to see what I have seen!'

Remon gave a snarl and opened fire with the remaining bullets in her chamber. Unfortunately, the kickback was so immense that it caused the weighty firearm to hit herself in the forehead, causing her to cross her eyes and pass out.

One of the bullets happened to hit Kagome, but the cackling little thing opened her palm and revealed that she had caught the bullet.

Clean out of firearms, the three girls watched helplessly as their leader Chikaru was consumed by Chris Chan, while Kagome laughed in an almost supersonic screech and started to chant satanic hokey pokey.

The boiler room rumbled and shook like the belly of a dying beast. A shining portal opened up at the central boiler, a black hole that emanated a blast of Antarctic wind.

`Now, who`s going to walk in first?' Kagome smiled, 'You know, this black hole's not going to stay stable for long. It will inevitably swallow up this world, so you might as well just give up.'

Remon hugged Kizuna and confessed in a shaky voice, ' If it's going to end like this, I want you to know that I've always had a crush on you.'

Kizuna reciprocated the sentiment in a blubbering mess of tears, snot, and barely audible vowels. Tamao simply froze and gazed into the void. Her stomach was a pit of ice from the loss of Chikaru.

'I'll go first.' Tamao said in a deadpan voice.

'Don't do it, Tamao chan!' Shrieked Remon. Lying through her teeth she screamed, 'You know Chikaru's alive! Kagome's bluffing!'

'Actually, I'm not.' the eyeless thing intoned in a robotic voice. She hissed through her teeth, 'I haven't got all day, you know. Step into the void and feel my pain!'

A single tear rolled down Tamao's cheek as she whispered, 'I'm coming to meet you, Chikaru.'

'NOOOOO!!!! DON'T FUCKING DO IT!!!' Shrieked both of the cowering girls.

Unfortunately, the plotline advanced according to the laws of reality and saw Tamao walk into the void. Her figure distorted into a whorl of black, blue, white, and some skin tones before disappearing forever into God knows where.

Remon gave a pained cry, 'You bitch!! You fucking bitch!'

'Alright, who's next?'

A whiny voice suddenly cut into the drama, 'When are you going to grant me my sweetheart!?' Chris Chan had apparently morphed back into his human form, 'She's a DYKE! CHINA! And she doesn't fill my stomach all that well. When are you going to find me a boyfriend-free-girl and-

If she actually had globules of eyes, she would have shot him a venomous look, but apparently two empty sockets did the trick of shutting the corpulent loser up.

'Now, where were we? I calculate about ten minutes until the stabilizers collapse.'

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Yaya Nanto panted and puffed. She hadn't expected the bear to be such a tough fighter, but she won out nevertheless. Thanks to an old lawn mower she stumbled upon in the tool shed while in the throes of battle. She wiped some sweat off of her brow and gave a huge groan.

The remnants of the pedophile were scattered in gory ribbons around the manicured grass. She had expected stuffings to come out of him, but apparently he was a biological being.

Yaya sat down on the ground and ignored the moaning and rather pronounced b's from Kaname's broken nose. She murmured, 'Shut up.' To the terrible two before wandering off into the tool shed to find some other treasures. However, her luck took a turn for the worse when she spotted another legion of anonymous stampeding her way.

'Fuck. Me. Sideways.' She snarled as she made for the toolshed. She could have sworn she spotted a chainsaw in there somewhere......

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Lucy found her way into the boiler room, only to find a smiling girl with bloody eye sockets and a corpulent man standing in front of a wormhole.

'Oh no.....' Lucy felt her knees weaken, ' I'm too late....'

'Damn right you are.' Kagome cackled, 'Five more minutes until this planet implodes. You've seen that new Star Trek movie, right?'

'No. That doesn't come out until next month.' Lucy said in a numb voice.

'Shut up! I SAW IT ON THE ONLY DEVICE DOT COM!!' Kagome yapped in a hoarse voice.

'She's completely insane....she's batshit insane....there's no reasoning with her....' Lucy realized with an all too familiar sinking feeling in her gut.

Kagome gave her best impression of the Wicked Witch of the West, 'I have you now, my pretty! Step inside the hole and feel my pain-

Lucy made use of her self-taught gymnastics and did a distance front flip right into the Kagome thing.

All she felt was a tangle of limbs, a dismayed wail, and the nasally voice of, 'We had a promise!' before feeling being encased in ice and losing consciousness.