Author's Notes: I do not own Doctor Who. Thank you for the reads and reviews. Hello, lurkers! Please let me know what you think and happy reading!
The Doctor had to fight the TARDIS to get her to land, lending credence to the sinking feeling that he actually was James McCrimmon. He stepped outside to the time and place that Donna had stated.
Donna Noble rolled her eyes as she followed a gaggle of women into a bridal shop. The Doctor hurried across the street as they went in. He snuck around the back and used the sonic screwdriver to get in through the side door.
No sooner had he gone in than he heard the whirring of another sonic device and saw a faint green light. He hurried towards it and too soon found himself next to a room of wedding gowns. Donna held one up against herself, looking longingly in the mirror.
"Donna, we're not here looking for you," said Sylvia. "Though time is ticking."
A thin blonde spoke up. "How about this one, Veena?"
"Oh, God, no, Veena," said Donna. "That's awful. Nerys is just trying to trick you into buying it."
"I would not!," Nerys shouted affronted.
"Behave yourself, Donna," Sylvia said firmly.
The faint green light emerged through a rack of bridal gowns and behind it a man in a bow tie, falling straight into Donna and landing on the floor on top of her.
"Um, do you mind?," asked Donna.
"Oh, that's just brilliant..." said the man. "Sorry, I didn't realize we were doing this today."
"You falling on me?," asked Donna. "Did you have that planned?"
"You might be surprised." He stood, helping Donna up. "Okay, then, let's get cracking."
A posh woman appeared from the back of the bridal shop, presumably the owner. "Doctor?"
He pointed a finger at the woman, still staring at Donna. "Nope. Not the Doctor. James McCrimmon is my name from now on, alright?"
"Okay, James..." said the woman. "What about those creatures? Can't you stop them?"
Donna frowned. "What creatures?"
"Never mind that, I'll get that sorted and be back here with a packet of Jammie Dodgers, then we can get started."
"Started with what?," Donna demanded, still bewildered.
"Everything," said the man with a grin.
The man stepped back beyond the racks of frocks.
"Well," said the man, "I suppose you're going to watch the whole thing, aren't you?"
The Doctor didn't answer.
"Have it your way. It's not going to be easy, you know, though I suspect this side is better."
The Doctor arrived at an autumn day. His future self was walking next to Donna in a park.
"You didn't have to meet me at my office," said Donna, nibbling on a sandwich as they walked.
"Of course I did. How's the new job?"
Donna rolled her eyes. "You know. The usual. It's a woman boss this time. She's got me filling out her daughter's school applications."
"Sounds like fun."
"Oh, yeah, lots of women bosses are very fun like that."
"Don't you like working for women?"
"I'd like it if they didn't just assume I was an idiot."
"Maybe you will someday," said the future Doctor. "Something permanent."
"Oh, that'll be the day."
"Well, not permanent," he said. "Nothing is permanent."
He turned and caught sight of the Doctor.
The Doctor waited outside a building. It was New Year's Eve from what he could tell. The door opened and the man in the bow tie was actually wearing tails. Donna stepped outside and pulled off one heel, then the other.
"How do you wear those?," asked the future Doctor. "They're all pointy."
"I could ask you the same thing," Donna said.
"Bow ties-"
"Are cool. Yes, we know, it was in Veena's wedding speech," Donna said, coming down the steps.
"I should hail a cab and get you home," he said.
"Or you could take me to your place."
"Hmm?"
Donna sighed and grabbed his lapel. "James, you should really take me to your place."
The Doctor rolled his eyes from behind a tree, wondering at what sort of a git he would transform into.
"Oh," said the man. He looked at his watch. "Uh, yes, we should definitely do that."
"Why did you need to look at your watch?," asked Donna.
"Just some scheduling, that's all. Yes, we should go to my place. Come along, Noble."
He summoned a cab and put Donna in. Before he got in himself, he looked back over at his past self.
"Are you coming?," Donna demanded.
The TARDIS landed with an even more angry thud this time. The Doctor wondered at the reason and then realized why as he stepped out.
It was the Daleks. He was crossing his own time line not once, but twice.
He rushed up the street to the Noble house and found the front hallway a bit cramped with a TARDIS. He squuezed past and found Wilf, Sylvia and Geoffrey all unconscious on the floor.
"There you are," said the future Doctor.
"What are you doing?"
"Just staying until the Daleks have gone, keeping watch. I know, leaving them on the floor is a bit uncomfortable but once the TARDIS came in there were all sorts of questions and things..."
"Where is she?"
The future Doctor motioned towards the sitting room. The Doctor rushed inside and found Donna lying on the sofa.
"You're just going to leave her?," the Doctor asked, seething.
"I have to. In case you don't remember, she is going to meet our ninth self and then you. If I'm around, it might just collapse the time line and be a bit awkward. Besides, you have to go now. Your TARDIS is out where the Daleks can see it. Suppose they follow you in here."
"And what am I meant to do?," asked the Doctor.
His future self looked upon him in silence. He couldn't answer and the Doctor knew that.
Donna awoke to find the Doctor standing over her bed.
"Sorry, can I help you with something?," asked Donna.
"Yeah, sorry, this was my room," said the Doctor.
"Oh, that explains the wardrobe," said Donna. "Why do you have a hat you need shoulder pads for?"
"It's a thing here," said the Doctor. "What made you think this was your room?"
"The door opened and I saw my hatbox. Where did you go?," asked Donna.
"Are those incense?," asked the Doctor picking a container up off the night table.
"I like them," said Donna. "Where did you go?"
"I don't really know an easy way to put this," said the Doctor.
"You could try."
"Well, I went back in time to watch my future self pass himself off as James McCrimmon, pursue you, impregnate you and leave you so as to not further disrupt my personal time stream by running into my ninth self."
"You're James McCrimmon?"
"I will be. At some point."
"You watched him impregnate me?"
"I'm going to do it someday."
"That's creepy," said Donna.
"I can't very well be my own stalker, can I?"
"Yet somehow you've managed it!"
"Shh! Don't wake the children!"
"Oh, now all of a sudden, they're ours?"
"Yes, they're ours!" He sighed. "Ella knew me."
"What?"
"When I regenerated, Ella called me by my name. When we went looking for her, I found her. She's bonded to me somehow."
"They don't have two hearts!," Donna protested.
"Have you checked?," asked the Doctor.
"They don't have two hearts or cold skin and their dress sense is... well, I grant you, Josh, but Ella is very good at matching. No, don't point at the tiara and tutu she wore at supper. She's on holiday."
The Doctor shrugged. "I thought she was just dressing for supper."
Donna's face dropped. "Oh, God, they dress like Time Lords," said Donna. "You're sure it was you?"
The Doctor nodded. "Pretty sure, yeah."
"I don't understand. They're not...Time Lordy."
The Doctor raised an eyebrow. "Time Lordy?"
"Josh doesn't even like science!"
"What do you mean he doesn't like science? How can he not like science?!"
"You're missing the point. They're just not..." Donna shook her head. "This whole thing is just weird."
"Welcome to my life."
"So, what do we do?," asked Donna.
"I'm going to need help from a friend of mine."
Donna narrowed her gaze. "What sort of friend?"
"Good friend, really. Well, when I say good, I mean he's been on the wrong path before, but I'm sure he's resolved all that now."
"Who is he?"
"The Master."
"I'm sorry, we need help from a bloke who calls himself 'The Master?' Have you gone completely mental?"