I Love Nobody, Except Somebody
Disclaimer: All rights reserved to KOEI TECMO, TECMO and Team NINJA. I am nor Yosuke Hayashi.
Pairing/s: Ayane/Eliot
A/N: Wow! It's been nearly (or probably is) a month since I last updated! Sorry. I've been busy with schools and my finals are coming soon so...this is just a one shot to remind you that I am currently alive :P
Don't forget to R&R!:)
Now I've made up my mind
I love nobody, I'm going to love nobody,
I'm not going to tell any lies about it
and it's final.
-D.H Lawrence
"I'm leaving you," Hayate had said to me, "I'm tired of you and your dealing. I can't- Hitomi is better for me. She's pretty and she doesn't do drugs. She doesn't have other men over to deal." My cheeks were stained with a mix of mascara, eyeliner and tears. He was leaving me for another. He was breaking my heart.
"I promise I won't ever do it again, Hayate!" I cried, latching myself onto his arm, "please, don't leave me. I love you, I love you so much. Is that not enough for you?" I whimpered. Hissing, he pushed me to the ground.
"No! Stop lying! If you truly loved me, you would have stopped when we met!" He then stomped out the room. I tried to go after him, but I knew that by the slam of the door, it was already too late. I sunk to the floor. Tears started to flow down my cheeks once more. I cried my heart out. He wouldn't be coming back. If only I wasn't so messed, he would still be with me...
I barely remember when it started. I think it was when my parents and sister had died in a car accident when I was seventeen. I remember the sadness, the depression. And as if it was not enough, everyone blamed me. I was in the car accident, on my way to my dance competition when we swerved and crashed. I was the lone survivor. Everyone had told me, if I didn't go to that competition, they would still be alive. I was forced to leave my parents' house to live with my aunt, but I left because she began to be abusive towards me. The other relatives didn't want me, and so, when I turned eighteen, I began to deal.
It happened by accident. I had somehow managed to pay for my studies at the local university, and I found it there, in an alley. There was a sac. I didn't know what was in it. When I had opened it, there was loads of money and the drugs next to it. I sniffed it once, twice, three times, and I was done for. I wanted more, much more, and so I managed to find people who were willing to deal. I gained so much, and for a while, I returned to normal me.
I had my first boyfriend, Brad, who also dealt. He was heir to great money, but his whole family was murdered. He was then thrown out of his house by the criminals and forced to live on the streets for years. He had a best friend, Mila, who sold her body to live. I was so tempted to join her, to sell myself, because I felt useless, because I was just a body, but Brad refused. I think that's how we fell in love. However, the next month was horrible for us. He began drinking heavily, sometimes trying to abuse me. Then one day, he left.
I cried myself for days, and sank deeper into depression. I began to deal more and more drugs, taking them, smoking them. Anything to keep the pain at bay. I never knew why I never tried suicide. Or cutting. But I think drugs were less painful.
Another of my boyfriend was Jacky. He was such a good boy, sweet and kind. He loved me like I loved him. I was slowly going back to life with him...but then my bad luck rubbed off on him. His sister, Sarah, was shot the night of her wedding. I tried to console him, but it turned out that Jacky was not the boy that I thought he was. He began calling me names, making me do things that I normally didn't do. He attempted to murder me along the way, and finally broke my heart by leaving me. I fell even deeper, if that was even possible, into depression. I thought I would never love again. And then came Hayate. The biggest love of my life. We were together for three years, and then my 'old friends' from drug dealing wanted to deal with me again. Hayate had said he could bear it. But he didn't. He took the last piece of my heart away.
I loved so many people. I loved my parents, sister, friends...they either died or abandoned me. My numerous boyfriends, I loved...yet they left me...
Everyone I loved leaves me.
That's why I made the decision.
I'm not going to ever deal again.
And I'm never, ever going to love ever again.
I watch as my beautiful baby giggles at me for the umpteenth time. I tickle her stomach, and she grabs my fingers with her little hand, as if to make me stop. I grin at her brightly. God, I love her so much.
"Hello, my loves." A soft hand ghosts over my head. I instantly look up, feeling my insides melt.
"My love," I whisper, as his blue eyes light up. He picks up our baby, places her in her crib and makes me stand so he can kiss me. I relish in our kiss. I love this. I'm in love with him...
"Ayane," he smiles, "I missed you so much." He pulls me closer. I hug him back. I'm almost in tears, but they're happy.
The day that I had sworn myself to never love again was the day that I met Eliot. He was a British boy looking for someone to call his, like he stated. We became friends quickly, even though we were completely opposite each other.
A time, I was driving my very old car, when a truck had crashed against me. At that time, I thought I would die. I would find my parents and sister and rest with them. But I did not die. Instead, I was in hospital with no one other than Eliot by the side of my bed. He was crying, he was dirty, he had dark circles under his eyes, but he didn't leave my side once according to the nurses. I was confused, not once had anyone cried for me. I was sure that if I were to die, everyone would rejoice. But there he was, crying, bawling his tears out.
I asked him why he was here for me while he could be with the one he secretly loved from afar, but he had told me that I was that person, and that I had been for a long time.
Stubborn me, I didn't want his love. Well I thought so anyways. I had loved too many times, and I was tired of giving love and not receiving any back. I thought he was lying to me, I thought he didn't truly loved me...
And for the first time in years, I had broken someone's heart.
It was satisfying, yet, my heart bled. I didn't know why. I didn't love him. Sure, he was good-looking, but I didn't love him. I couldn't love him.
But he made me love him.
After breaking his heart, we still remained friends. I don't know how he did it. He just took me in his arms, and I wanted to reveal my love immediately. I wanted to kill those feelings, yet I also wanted to welcome them. Then on a bright, sunny day, I told him, and I felt it.
One day he proposed, another one he married me. And then one day, on the exact day of his birth day...I gave birth to our daughter Akari Kasumi. I named her after my dead sister, whom I had the closest relationship to. Akari, like her name states, was the brightest light to my darkness, right next to Eliot. I had stopped dealing right before our wedding, I had stopped being depressed. I needn't be depressed.
Because I knew, that even if I had loved and lost so much, there was always light. And that light was reflecting over Eliot's golden blond hair.
A/N: Well that was cheesy *nervous laugh*. Hope you liked it.
I will update my other stories soon, be patient:D
Don't forget to R&R!:)