Edward's POV
As I pack Carlisle's bookcase, I stumble over a few books I definitely had no idea he possessed. They're very explicit in sexual ways. One of them is about the art of copulation between males.
Really? I'm awestruck. Why would Carlisle have such a book?
I wonder…has he felt different toward me at some point before he met Esme?
This Jacob thing has opened my eyes on so many aspects of life.
Confused, mildly curious, interested, slightly aroused… a mosaic of feelings.
My eyes snap to the doorway where Jasper is leaning against the jamb; ankles crossed, arms folded, smirk on his face.
"Are you here to help me? I can't believe Carlisle abandoned me."
"Esme needed his assistance." You'll see in due time that you can't say no to your mate, no matter how absurd the request is.
"Jazz, are you going to help me?" I repeat, placing the book about male copulation to the side. I need to inspect that. Light reading before bedtime? I almost snort at my silliness.
Jasper closes the door of Carlisle's study and strides to me, picking up the book I just put away. He seems to be weighing it in his hand as he stares at me.
I read this a short time after we joined you.
Did Carlisle have it this whole time and I never crossed paths with it? Maybe he kept it hidden, but why now…? Oh, he must have done it on purpose. Sneaky of him.
"I see and feel all your conflicted feelings, Edward," Jazz says quietly, putting a hand on my shoulder. "It's understandable."
"How do you know?"
"Well, before…" You know when I was with Maria…there were times she engaged in polyamorous sexual acts. "I had no idea these acts weren't right. I enjoyed it. Heck, I loved it!"
Without knowing—I hope—he sends sparks our arousal my way. I can see it all in his head. He's alone with Maria in a tent, naked, intertwined, moving, and suddenly another man steps in the tent, immediately joining them.
"After I met Alice, I understood that wasn't exactly what people call moral or normal, because well…this wasn't common in that time. I never loved Maria, thus why I could share her with others. And she never loved me, either."
Now I can clearly see Jasper with another man. Maria is no longer around.
"That's Peter," he whispers to me, wearing a light smile. "He's been a great friend."
"And a little more," I add, feeling a tightening in my stomach as Jasper replays in his head his nights with his friends.
I thought there was something wrong with me, he admits in his head, staring me in the eye. To tell you the truth, when he met Charlotte, I was jealous. But never mind. Now I have Alice and I love her with all my being. That will always be part of me, my past, but I don't need it.
He steps away, and walks over to stare out the window.
What I mean to tell you, Edward, is that you shouldn't be ashamed of wanting Jacob. Bond or no bond, it's what your body desires. Give into the temptation. He turns his head to me, giving me a heated look. But do it away from us. It's going to be so intense, like nothing you ever felt.
He shudders. "God knows how much tension you've accumulated in a century." Oh, and do take his hint and spank the monkey. If not for kicks, just to know what to expect.
I'm speechless.
I can't actually process that my best friend has been with another man at some point. If I have picked up correctly on his thoughts, he's even found me attractive at some point. He's encouraging me to explore my relationship with Jake, to masturbate. I've always hated that term and its meaning.
A little self-loving hasn't hurt anyone, people say. But I always viewed it as an atrocious act. It may be because I'm from a time when being involved sexually with someone meant to actually love that person and give your whole person to them. Making love was to show them you adored them and worshiped the ground they walked. Making loved had the sole purpose of creating a new life.
"And Edward?" He grabs my attention. "This is a good book." He places it on the table, before walking to the door.
"Hey, wait!" I finally find my voice. "Help me?" I wave around. Out of the seven huge bookcases, I have only finished three.
"Sure." He grins and heads to the last bookcase. "I'll start with that one."
We finish well into the night.
I return to my room where I find Jacob's long body curled on my small couch. He's snoring, looking adorable. I approach him and crouch near his head, running a hand through his hair.
My hands seem to have a mind of their own. I can't stop touching him whenever I'm around him.
He's dreaming of us. I stare in fascination as his face, before closing my eyes and allowing his dream to take over me.
Jacob's in the shower, washing and humming to himself. I appear behind him, wrapping my arms around his strong body. The water feels nice on his heated skin, and my cold skin feels good against his back. I trail my hands over his chest, tweaking one of his nipples, earning a loud moan from him. He pushes his ass back into me, meeting my erection. I groan in his ear. Reaching behind him, Jacob grabs a fistful of my hair, his head falling back against my shoulder. I take advantage of the new position and kiss and lick his neck. He groans, turning around and smashing his lips to mine, his hands on either side of my waist. I'm surprised to see myself in his dream as I wrap my legs around his waist. Fuck, it feels good! His large, hot hands are under my ass, holding me. Our hard dicks are touching, bobbing and jerking. I wrap my arms around his shoulders, burrowing my face in his neck and inhaling his overwhelming heady scent. Then I feel something wet and round at my back entrance.
I stiffen and scream when he pushes inside.
To my horror, I realize the scream is real. And it isn't mine.
"OW, dude!" Jacob yells, clutching at his wrist.
I have no idea how I grabbed his wrist or that I was crashing it.
Damn, I was having a nice dream. Fuck, this shit hurts. He rubs his wrist, glaring at me.
"I'm so sorry!" I say fervently. "Your dream was more than nice," I murmur, kissing his swollen wrist, wrapping it between my hands. I'm sure my cold skin acts like a pack of ice on his toasty warm skin.
Can you call the doc? Jake searches my eyes. I might forgive you for breaking my wrist if you make that fantasy happen.
I moan, placing a sloppy kiss on his mouth. "Carlisle!" I call, turning my head to the door. "Can you bring the first aid kit here?"
You know how to pick 'em, bro! All of 'em accident prone! Emmett laughs from his spot in the living room where he's taking apart the audio system.
"Shut up, Emmett! It was my fault," I hiss, just as Carlisle appears in my room with his bag.
His eyes widen when he sees Jake's wrist. His wrist bone is definitely at an odd angle.
"It will hurt a little," he warns him. Distract him, son. Any way you can. I need to put the bone back in the socket.
I want to hurt myself for causing him pain, but do as Carlisle asks. Cupping Jake's cheek in my hands, I stroke it, lean closer, and brush my nose to his.
"Tell me how it ends—your fantasy," I whisper against his lips.
Blood rushes to his face as he averts his eyes. I take you in the shower—hard, fast, animalistic. You love it and claw at my back asking for more. I slam into you repeatedly until my legs grow tired, then you push me on my back on the soft carpet in the bathroom and riiiidee— "FUCKING HELL!" he shouts, his face scrunched in pain.
I kiss him, feeling a welcoming heat spread through my body. I'm so wound up.
Carlisle wraps his wrist in white bandage, warning me to be careful. "You'll heal fast, kid." He pats Jake's head then leaves the room, checking mentally if there's anything left to pack.
"You have no idea how sorry I am for hurting you. I was so captivated by your dream…"
"Don't worry. The doc's right. I'll heal fast, thanks to my wolf genes."
I smile, grateful of that. I hate to see him in pain more than necessary.
Stop worrying, seriously. It could have been worse. He pulls my bottom lip from my teeth. You could have bitten me.
My eyes widen. "Don't say such things! My venom will kill you!"
We don't know. Everything is upside down. I mean, you smell…pleasant to me. Maybe your venom won't kill me.
"Let's not test that theory," I beg. "Why don't you go back to sleep?"
"Uh, I need to use the bathroom."
"Sure." I watch him with a light smile as he walks to my bathroom. I never thought my heart could feel so full, almost beating again.
He returns to my side quickly, lounging back on the couch and yawning. His hands go under his cheek as he rolls to face me. "You don't have to stay here," he mumbles.
"Nonsense." I slide in front of the couch, resting my head back so it's close to his. "I promise not to touch you."
He chuckles, and soon he's fast asleep again. This time, his dreams are innocent, not molten like the previous one.
To give me something to do, I thumb through the book I borrowed from Carlisle. The text is explicit, but the images—the pictograms—they're downright graphic. It talks about pleasuring your partner, how to prepare for the sexual act, what to search for once inside—apparently, pressure on the prostate gland can bring immense pleasure.
I'm so into the book I don't see the dawn breaking, or hear Jacob stirring awake. Only when I hear his gasp in my ear, I realize he's up and checking what I'm reading over my shoulder.
Tilting my head back, I see him rubbing at his eyes.
Not seeing clearly. The fuck is he reading? Graphic novels?
I chuckle, pressing my lips to his cheek. "It's just a book. Did you sleep well?"
"Yeah," he croaks, wrapping his arms around my neck, burrowing his face into my shoulder. I could sniff him the whole day. So sweet.
"Thank you?" I word it as a question, teasing him.
He flushes bright red, whining against my skin. Then, surprising me, he licks at the column of my neck. I shudder as pleasure explodes in every pour of my body. Not thinking clearly, I swing him around, bringing him on my lap and devouring his mouth. I can't get enough of him.
EDWARD! Jasper yells in his head. I pull away from Jake, startled.
Shit. I'm getting carried away.
"Carlisle, you need to buy them a house away from us. Or better, leave them here and we can move to the other side of the country!" Jasper pleads.
Oops. Jake giggles, pressing his chest to mine, his black eyes sparkling.
I shrug nonchalantly.
His stomach makes a loud growling noise. Poor Jacob hides his face in my neck again, embarrassment clouding his mind.
I comb my fingers through his soft hair, trying to soothe him. "It's something normal to be hungry, darling."
Darling?
Almost everyone in the house repeats my term of endearment for Jake.
It's my turn to be embarrassed. It slipped, but it's nothing I don't feel.
"Guys, stop it! Too much. It's a rollercoaster of emotions around here!" Jasper cries out.
Alice comes skipping in my room with a bowl, carton of milk, and a cereal box. Jake looks grateful and once he combines them, he starts eating. I have no idea what's so appealing about those mushy cereals—they look disgusting, and smell terrible.
"Is it any good?" I am really curious.
He stops, his spoon suspended in the air. "It's fantastic!" He nods enthusiastically.
"I can't understand how that…thing is any good. Bella used to like it, too."
"It has proteins. Humans love cereal with milk."
I nod in understanding. "Hurry. I'm going to help the others fill the back of the truck with our belongings."
"What truck?"
"We have a truck and use it when we move away."
Like a real, big truck?
"You'll see." I wink, and leave him to finish his breakfast.
Emmett is the one who drives the beast every time. It is easier to do this ourselves, because having U-Haul help us every few years became suspicious. Even if we used different names, it happened that the drivers were the same and recognized us.
Jasper and Alice are inside the container, arranging everything Rose, Esme, and Emmett hand them.
"Come here. I need to know where you want to place the piano!" Alice calls, her voice echoing in the enclosed space.
"Between boxes so it won't get damaged if Emmett does something crazy while driving," I answer, jumping in the tow of the truck.
She immediately explains how she wants to organize everything, and how my piano will end up between the bed mattresses and other clothes boxes. I'm grateful for her. She's always cared about my beloved possession. I've had the piano since I was a little boy. Carlisle brought it one night to our hiding place when we were still in Chicago. It was the first time since I was turned that I wanted to weep, and couldn't.
Esme enjoys listening to me play. Carlisle is proud of me when it comes to anything piano related—whether I play a masterpiece, or one of my creations. Rosalie doesn't care much until she feels like playing herself—that's when we start fighting, because no one is allowed to touch my piano. Emmett always makes fun of me, telling me piano is for pussies or gay—that will fuel his comments now that I'm proving him right. As for Jasper, he's not really into the piano, but he never tells me to stop if I decide to play when he's around.
I hope Jake likes it. I find myself worrying he won't like it. Kids these days don't appreciate classical music at its righteous level. I'll teach him to love it.