Chapter 7: The Best Laid Plans
April 10th, 2154 C.E. 07:30 UT
"I still don't know what's going on; what does he even want us to do?" Ashley asked as they walked.
Andrew gave an honest 'I dunno' shrug; "Eh, something stupid and borderline insane probably; he was a little vague. I see how he roped you in to help, Heh."
"Funny." She deadpanned, obviously not liking their current situation.
They walked down a relatively intact sidewalk on a relatively intact street in a relatively intact neighborhood just outside downtown Toronto, completely alone save for each other, though both situations would likely change for the worse sooner rather than later. Andrew wore a tight grey T-shirt overlaid by a like-coloured hoodie and fresh-pressed black track pants, both of which complimented his deep tan. Ashley wore a similar getup, with her leather jacket in the stead of the hoodie accentuating her body. Both carried their concealed sidearms; old, battered Colt Model 1911's with modern furnishings. Andrew hoped they wouldn't need them, but he had a lingering, sneaking dread that said he would. The wind had a nip in it, and reddened his hands and face. He missed his bed.
"Where we going?" He asked, following his fiancee dutifully.
"Younge and Adelaide; Shepard said to meet him there; something about 'gearing up', whatever he means by that."
Andrew stopped moving for a moment and grabbed Ashley by the arm to divert her. "Woah, what? That intersection's right near ground zero! There's radiation and all sorts of crap down there! " He could fight any person in a straight-up brawl and come out on top, but you can't resist the irresistible. It was so... insidious.
"Relax you big baby! There isn't enough radiation there to cook a chicken, let alone a big oaf like you. So shut up and cope." She quickened her pace once more and gave him a swat to the shoulder. "Doofus."
"I'm not worried about dying just yet, but what about cancer and shit like that? You know, bleaching and hair loss and, y'know..." He cupped his more private area; "...infertility?" He patted down his crew cut with anxiety.
"If you keep this whining up, castration and baldness will be the least of your worries." She was rather amused by his concern for his life, given his association with Shepard, Strauss and the Reds in general. It was almost endearing.
And still he continued; "Is that a threat?"
Ashley turned and smiled at him with her menacing grin that conveyed the 'I'll injure you' sentiment. "It's a promise."
Andrew brought his bottom lip over his top lip and nodded sarcastically; "I'm sure it is."
"Keep talking Williams, and you'll never be in a situation where fertility is a problem again."
"Ahh, low blow Ash."
"See, now you're getting it!" She enjoyed this far too much.
"What's that supposed to... ohhhh! Smooth."
"I thought so."
He still wasn't all that reassured by his lover's browbeating, for whatever reason, and he frowned at the prospect of being irradiated at Shepard's bequest. Ashley piped up once more for his sake; "Don't worry babe, I'm sure we'll have lots of little babies. I'd say... five at bare minimum, wouldn't you?"
"I'd settle for four... heh" Forty-four seemed like an unreasonable number.
"Knowing your luck, they'll all take after me."
Forming a mock fearful expression, he continued; "Don't scare me like that Ash!"
Laughing together, they neared the corner they had been approaching for some time, and checked the twisted and faded sign on the curb to make sure they were going in the right direction;
Yo-e St.
"Hmm..." Andrew mulled over the sign. "It sounds pretty close. Yoe...yong...younge...Yeah! Yeah, that's probably it." He smiled at the fact their hour-long walk was nearly over; he wasn't built for endurance, and long walks made him cranky. "Hey Ash, what intersection again? God damn this walking is... damn it! I'm getting cantankerous over here!" He swatted at a growing cloud of those annoying glowing flies circling his head.
"Again, Adelaide. Again, grow a pair. Jesus, It's like dragging around a kindergartner. A seven-foot tall-"
"Seven-foot two."
"Seven-foot tall, meatheaded kindergartner who uses words like 'cantankerous'. Want some apple juice while we're at it, junior? Maybe take a potty break? We're still pretty far away, and trust me, I'm not looking forwards to dragging your piss-stained corpse."
They both stopped walking once more and looked at each other, Ashley with a smug look on her face, Andrew with a hint of hurt. He broke their gaze knowing she wouldn't let up, and continued on. "Let's go meet Shepard. I must lose myself in action..." He trailed as he thought ahead.
"...Lest I wither in despair." Ashley finished. He glanced her way and smiled at her; "So, I take it you've been reading my stuff up? Finally indulging me?"
She reciprocated his gaze; "Yeah, may as well seeing as I'm stuck with you. Beefstick."
"You love it, don't try and fake it." He extended his hand to her.
"I only ever fake one thing when I'm with you, honey." She looked him over, pausing at his hand, before crossing her arms and looking him over skeptically.
There being little to say, Andrew huffed without a hint of amusement and offered his red, pan-sized hand to her once more; "My hand's cold." She looked at him as if he were a Martian for a moment, then smiled warmly; "Strange, so are mine." Hand-in-hand, they continued on to meet their friend.
She snapped her head around and looked straight at him; "Wait, would people living on Mars count as Martians?"
One hour later
Finally, after a horrible, treacherous walk through the quasi-obliterated downtown of Toronto, they made it to where they needed to be; the intersection of Younge and Adelaide, or as the signs said, "Y-g-" and "-delai-". Being right near the old jerry-rigged nuclear plant that had gone critical, the area was predictably completely deserted, save for a pair of scavengers trying to pry old circuit boards out of abandoned ATM, who were promptly driven off by the prospect of fighting Andrew.
They looked around, and true to the area around it, the intersection was basically a ruin; there were multiple office buildings around them, all of them falling apart through neglect, and scoured by radiation. Infesting everything were the clouds of mutated blue-glowing flies, who hung near the likewise mutated red weeds that sprouted from every crack and crevasse, growing to over a meter high. Alongside were dozens of cars just abandoned in the street, whose antiquated make placed them as two decades old, with their rear panels revealing them to be made by a company they had never heard of, "Aldrin Labs". All the while, an eerie tainted fog -more accurately smog- hung low over the ground, obscuring everything it touched with a pale tint. Ashley momentarily considered attempting to hold her breath, but gave in and accepted the inevitable, taking a deep breath. "Mmm, fresh air."
Her companion staggered forwards to a wreck of a car curiously; He had seen some ruin and desolation before, but this was a whole other league of ruin and desolation. "Ash, check it out." Andrew said as inched forwards. He lifted the rotted and rusted hood and checked the engine, which was mostly missing, likely stripped for parts years ago. "Look. Petrol tanks, outdated pieces of shit". He smacked the derelict, whose rusted frame collapsed like a house of cards. "Unexpected, ha!."
Completely ignoring him, Ashley looked for Shepard, who was conspicuously absent. "Shepard?" She called. "Hey Shep?! Shepard! Where you at!?" Her cries were fruitless, as he was still nowhere to be seen or heard.
Completely ignoring her, Andrew moved to another car that was minding its own business, rusting happily, surrounded by weeds. "Ash come on! Watch! It's cool!" He smacked the new car, only for it to reverberate and shake off some rust.
"Focus dumbass! The sooner we get this done the sooner we can leave this god-forsaken planet and get on with our lives!" She rolled her eyes, sighed, and called again; "Shepard?! Where are you you bastard?!"
He smacked the car frame again, which yielded identical results to before. "Hey, the only reason I'm here is to keep you alive and watch your back!" Annoyed, he hit the frame one last time, only for a shriek to come out , followed by the raccoon that made it. It fired off like a rocket right at his face and latched on with its claws, causing him to fall like a lead life preserver.
"Escreeble scree!" Said the raccoon, "Ahh! Son of a bitch get it off!" Said Andrew.
It felt like the day had been dragging on for years, and it wasn't even nine in the morning. Ashley had taken enough. She slapped the raccoon off of her fiancee's face and roared at it. It scurried away to skulk somewhere else, but not before looking back at her and bearing teeth. She showed hers in return, just for show, and it ran away for good. She turned to her fallen idiot and helped him up, swatting off the dirt he got tracked onto his face and looking at his cuts. "Poor thing!" She said.
Cringing from pain, Andrew steadied himself; "It's okay, I'm fine."
"Not you! The raccoon! A little furry animal the size of a breadbasket just felled you like a redwood." She laughed at him.
"Laugh it up! I'm just following you, since you apparently lost all critical function and decided to help the resident lunatic 'I can move shit with my mind' Shepard! And I'm the one who gets mauled by some stupid-" Ashley's laughter bottomed out in a second.
"Wait, what? What did you just say?"
"The only reason I'm here is to cover you! Ingrate..."
An awful, sickening feeling settled over her; "Shepard... You better not have..."
"What are you saying?", said Andrew
"Nothing, at least, I hope it's nothing. For Shepard's sake, it better be nothing."
"What are you going on about?
She was even more annoyed now, but there was little to do about it. "It's nothing, everything's fine."
"'Kay."
There was nary a hint of Shepard anywhere, and they were stuck waiting like fools in the middle of the world's shittiest auto show. They shifted to sit on the raccoon's former home, and just as they sat down an armoured man materialized from nothing in front of them.
"Hey guys!" Said Shepard.
"Son of a bitch!"
"Shepard?! What the hell did you just do?!" Ashley exclaimed.
The thin man reached to the small of his back, struggled for a moment, and pried something from his body. Bringing it to his chest to show them; a small, flattened metallic oval with blue lights throughout. Written on the side;"X2a-Black Shadow". Shepard's helmet folded automatically and tucked itself on his back, revealing his smug face with his signature asshole smile. "Cloaking device; pretty neat eh?. He moved to put it back where it was, but before he could, Andrew grabbed it from him.
"Hey, give it back asshole!" he swatted at him, about as effectively as one could expect.
"Just a second! Cool!" Said the clearly impressed Andrew
"Holy hell where did you get this?!" The amazed and wondrous Ashley wondered audibly.
"Stole it from a guy." Said Shepard
"Who just carries around a hyper-advanced cloaking device?!" Asked Ash.
"Never said he was a normal guy, did I? It was in the Mars Authority headquarters; me and the guys slipped it out from under their noses like it was nothing when we went to secure... needed resources." He tried to play it cool.
"On Mars?!"
Seeing an opportunity to impress, he continued; "Yeah, Mars. You know, the planet with all the red stuff on it? That one I think.
Andrew sighed and exposed Shepard's half-truth; "Mars isn't red anymore, retard. And Ash? That mission ended with everyone but him dying horribly of asphyxiation. And gunfire. And explosive decompression. But mostly gunfire. Botched the mission from the start; I can't believe you used the 'would you rather ask the boss?' routine on Alliance soldiers."
"Hey! It still worked!"
"Something can work horribly, does that count?" Ash said, playing along
"Fuck off both of you and get over here!" Shepard said, moving towards an "alley" created by collapsed walls. There was apparently nothing there aside from concrete and roaches, but they complied and followed him in. Much to their lack of surprise, there was precisely nothing in the alley upon closer investigation, barring two sheets of corrugated steel on a wall. Shepard grabbed it and pulled. And failed. Huffing and catching his breath, he pulled again, only to fail once more. Getting angry, he took his favourite baggy of his favourite substance out of his armour's pocket, threw its contents in his palm, and threw his head back in turn to swallow it.
"Shepard, really man? Red sand?" Ashley asked.
Punching his chest once to get the blood pumping, he turned to her; "Yes, really."
"Isn't that dangero- you know what? Never mind." She dismissed.
"I'm glad you see things my way" He said as he stretched.
Looking at Andrew, who shot her an amused glance back, she muttered; "Nobody just does crack anymore..."
Remembering the precise movements needed, Shepard threw his arms forward and then back; "Pull!" He yelled as his body erupted in a blue corona. The metal complied with his demands, being jerked out of the wall by a sudden surge of blue-purple energy to reveal... more concrete.
"Ah shit! Wrong one again! Fuck!"
"Nice work Houdini. Conjure me up a hot bed to wait in would you?" Said Andrew.
"While you're at it, why don't you read my mind and tell me how much of a dumbass I think you are." Added Ash.
Their ignorance of biotics aside, Shepard still needed the other plate open, but that little failed display was trying. He grabbed the other plate and looked at his friends. "Shut up for once in your lives!" He pulled again and again, with results mirroring the first plate.
"Maybe you should cast a vulnerability hex on it, or sacrifice a goat?" Ashley once more chipped in. Not amused, he tired once more to pull of the metal, again failing. Unbeknownst to him, Andrew had moved up beside him silently, the only thing giving him away his shadow. He grabbed Shepard's shoulder and urged him gently to move so he could do what he wanted. Complying, Shepard watched as he grabbed the plate with both hands, and with minimal effort, lifted, then pulled the sheet from the wall.
"Maybe try using some finesse for once in your life. Not everything has to be a struggle Josh."
"Thanks Grandmaster Williams, now both of you get over here and I'll set you up." He nodded in appreciation, as he was loathe to say it verbally. He turned to the now-exposed cubby hole the sheet covered, revealing a large metallic container double the size of a person's torso.
He grabbed the big plasteel cylinder and tipped it over, rolling it over to his allies and righting it once more, with Andrew's help. He took out his glowing blue omni-tool and tapped a few buttons, which prompted the top of the cylinder to open, which reveal a cornucopia of weaponry and armour, alongside grenades, ammunition and other peripherals.
Shepard pushed a few more buttons and microfabricated a small ceramic table from his tool, which he started to pile the equipment upon.
"Hot damn Shepard, you're a high roller now aren't you?" Andrew said as he rooted through the box for more stuff.
Shepard continued to take out his things; "I settle for nothing but the- hey look! There's where I put my night vision goggles!"
Ashley just watched as the two eager men pulled out all the toys, until Shepard pulled out something quite distinct; a folded M19-Incisor, one of those three-burst-fire designated marksman rifles just unveiled by the Systems Alliance. A bleeding edge weapon, though she had experience with previous models.
"And for you, miss Espina, ever use one of these?" He tossed her the weapon, which unfolded mid-arc into its full length. Ash grabbed it effortlessly, locked the thermal clip in and pulled the charging handle in one fluid motion.
"Once or twice."
With an air of confidence, and she shared a rare smiling moment with Shepard, who always appreciated a little bravado.
"Oh boy... Shepard? What exactly are we doing here?" Andrew stepped back and put his hand to his forehead with stress.
Pulling out some basic armour exoskeletons and throwing them in front of his compatriots, he smiled once more.
"We're getting off this hellhole planet."