Chapter 2

Van Pelt stayed behind at the house for a couple of hours to question Ian. "And you're absolutely sure this was a spontaneous event?" she asked. "Nobody came into the house that you know of?"

"Yes and no," said Ian, sighing. "Who knows what happened here? Not you, not me, not nobody. I guess."

"Hmm." Van Pelt shuffled her notes and pocketed them, then she accidentally fumbled her bag as she attempted to lift it off the back of the chair.

Ian stepped up and said, "Whoa, lemme help you with that." He made to grab the bag, but Van Pelt politely declined the offer and picked it up herself. "If there is a killer out there," Ian said tentatively, "well...I really hope you get him. Nobody kills my buddy and gets away with it, know what I mean?"

"I know," said Van Pelt. "Don't worry, we'll do everything we can." She shook Ian's hand, and Ian shuddered very slightly with the contact. Van Pelt could feel it like the minute haptic buzz that came from touching a touch-screen phone. She left, and Ian surreptitiously snapped a picture of her from behind with his own touch-screen phone just before she left the door. Then he entered his room, tapped the wall in three precisely-located spots, and stood back as a small panel slid away to reveal a keypad. Pressing the keypad, Ian entered a hidden closet with a column of four TV screens stacked up on the far wall.

Tapping the third screen, Ian observed a live feed from what he really hoped was the correct lab in the Medical Examiner's office. As it turned out, it was, because the coroner soon dropped a neatly-wrapped corpse onto the table. Ian knew who it was right away. He tapped the screen again to shut it off, grabbed a small vial and eyedropper from underneath the bottom screen, got into his car, and drove up to the Medical Examiner's lab. Despite his lack of a properly authorized ID, he was able to get into the room without any trouble, with nobody disturbing him as he entered a room whose electronic lock had been temporarily disabled so he could drip the contents of the vial into Anthony's mouth.

Anthony blinked, inhaled, and sat up on the metal slab. "It's time?" he asked. When Ian nodded, Anthony said, "Mmmkay. Let's go, then." He slid off the table, causing Ian to turn away in disgust. "What? It's not like you haven't seen me naked before," Anthony pointed out. "The things we do for fame, dude. Just gimme my clothes if it disturbs you that much."

"I...I kinda forgot them," Ian said.

"WHAT?!" yelled Anthony, almost loud enough to wake the corpses that actually were dead. "How do you expect to get me out of here with no clothes?"

Ian cast his eyes around until he spotted a gurney. "Tell me this is the one you came in on," he said.

"Uh, yeah," said Anthony. "Why?"

"'Cause you're gonna ride on it again for a while," said Ian. "Just till I get you inside my trunk."

Anthony sighed heavily. "Fine," he grunted, drawing the word out to its logical length limit as he lay back on the gurney. Sliding the blanket back over himself, Ian wheeled the cart down the hall and into the parking lot, where he unceremoniously dumped Anthony's "corpse" into the trunk. Then he wheeled the gurney back inside (minus the blanket, which Anthony would use to cover himself) before getting into the car and lowering the backseat to allow Anthony to clamber out of the trunk.

"Hey, bet you'd love to see this," Ian said, handing Anthony his cell phone and showing him the picture he'd recently taken of Van Pelt.

Anthony let out a loud wolf-whistle. "That's some girl," he said. "Totally hot. She's the lady detective who came into the house, right?"

"One of them," said Ian. "And she's mine, so don't get no dumb ideas."

"Aw, dang it," Anthony said. "She is totally hot, you know."

Ian turned around to take his phone back. "Dead people ain't supposed to be doing that, you know," he said, pointing at the bulge distinctly visible underneath the thin blanket.

"Ever heard of death erections?" Anthony asked.

"Ever heard of 'shut your frickin' face?'" Ian retorted.