Chapter 5

"Oh, really?" said Van Pelt as Anthony finished off his story. "And how exactly do you suggest you get me to believe you?"

"I'm not asking you to believe me," said Anthony. "No way that's ever gonna happen. But Ian is acting way outta character, even more than normal given what we do for a living. I think I have the right to be a tad bit suspicious."

At this point, Jane walked in, bearing a pile of photos. "Grace, I'm sorry, but Lisbon said to hand these to you and-" He spotted Van Pelt's visitor. "Oh. Hello, Mr. Padilla."

Anthony frowned. "Mr. Padilla? Seriously? You're not gonna start dropping shit on the floor and yelling 'Omigodtheresadeadguyinthebuilding?'"

"Well, considering I already knew you were still alive..." Jane laughed. "What, you thought you could fool me? Really? Don't tell me my job. I know chicanery like nobody's business."

"Yeah, Ian was right," grumbled Anthony. "You're way too Genre Savvy?"

"What's that mean?" asked Jane.

"It means you know too much, and Ian's gonna try and kill you, probably."

Van Pelt raised her eyebrows. "But if Ian's dead, how can he kill anyone? I'm confused."

Anthony kneaded his forehead. "Look, the way I see it is, there's some kind of monster looking just like Ian, taking his place. A Body Snatcher, you know what I mean?"

"And how would you know there's a Body Snatcher?" Van Pelt asked.

"Easy," said Jane. "He saw some kind of monster parts growing in his best friend's skin. You don't need a mentalist to guess that." He looked aside and his mouth perked up in a smile, as if he were giving a signal to someone on the other side of an invisible wall.

"Well, yeah," said Anthony. "When your best friend grows a nasty long claw and drinks his own blue blood, that to me means he's turned into A Monster of Some Kind."

At this point the building shook slightly, and a faint banging sound could be heard from very far away. Rigsby barged into the office and flicked the TV on. "Boss?" he called in the direction of Lisbon's office. "You're gonna want to see this."

A split second of the ongoing Dark Angel rerun and then a Breaking News banner burst onto the screen, with an almost comically grave-faced reporter announcing that A Monster of Some Kind was rampaging through the streets of Sacramento, making a beeline for the downtown district. The Monster was a big, vaguely reptilian thing, some kind of cross between Godzilla and Bigfoot, tromping through the streets like a spoiled child having a temper tantrum. Adding to the effect, it was screaming loudly, with a very slight delay between the scream sound on TV and the increasingly loud real screams echoing over the city and penetrating the walls of CBI headquarters.

"Wait a sec," Cho said. "Is it saying, 'Grace?'"

Everyone present took a closer listen. "God damn," said Anthony. "I think you're right, dude. It does sound like it's saying 'Grace.'"

Everyone present (except Anthony, who didn't know Van Pelt's first name) looked at Van Pelt in wonder. "Don't look at me," she said. "It must be a coincidence."

"GRAAAAAACE VAN PELLLLLLLT!" the Monster yelled on screen. Van Pelt paled in fear.

"Okay, that's just sick," said Anthony. "And I know sick. Have you seen what Ian does to pink frosted sprinkled donuts? That's something you can't exactly un-see."