Sebastian's P.O.V

One month had passed since Ciel's death now. It was the beginning of February and I was going to visit his grave today, I did at least once a week to lit a candle and leave something for him, often red roses and I would scoot away snow from the gravestone.

My car stopped at the parking lot and I got out to take out the flower and candle I had with me. I locked it and made my way to the big gate. I knew the way to his grave by heart already. I had come here with Alois three times and he always cried so I told him he shouldn't go here, it hurt him too much and it hurt me too see him cry this much.

Oh how I miss you. My dear Ciel, how I want you back in my arms.

It was a short walk through the hundreds of graves and when I came there something new was on the grave, a photo that was framed in black. I kneeled down and took it in my hands, the photo was of Ciel and Alois as younger. He had probably been here to put it up with Claude. I looked at the photo for a long time. They both looked so happy….

I set it back down and set the red rose down across of the grave and took the two candles out from my bag and lit them, setting them on each side and smiled softly.

"Ciel, how are you today?" I said softly and sat down on my knees, the most of the snow was gone so I didn't get wet or that cold by it. "My day was okay…" I whispered and wished I could brush that soft hair again. "My boss told me I looked sick so I came here a bit earlier than planned, I hope you don't mind. Well, he tells me so every day. That I seem to have lost it since you died, and I guess he is right."

I smiled as I felt a tear fall down my cheek. "I'm so lonely without you Ciel. I want you back. I can't move on, I've even been to a therapist to talk about it. But she just sits there and nods, saying 'I understand', she even tried to flirt with me. After telling her I lost the love of my life." I said and I felt my voice began to quiver.

I wiped the now many tears away and took a deep shaky breath. "It's lonely back in the apartment as well, I live in your hose still. I can't leave it behind. I haven't touched or moved a thing in your room. If I take it up, I put it back where it was. And I wash the clothes that I use as a safety blanket. But your scent is starting to fade from it all and I'm scared that it'll vanish in its time."

I sat there for a long time and talked to him, like always. I told him about my day and how I felt. It all was sick if you would ask someone else.

"Well Ciel. I'll see you very soon…" I said quiet, scared that even a bird would hear me speak. I caressed the ground before me and smiled through my tears. "Give me a hour and I'll be back." With that I arose and walked back to my car.

I'm crazy.

I started it and drove down to now my apartment and stopped outside, not bothering to lock it anymore.

Back at the cemetery again I shove my jacket into the car and locked it, putting the keys in my back pocket and walked back. Once again sitting at his grave I took the bracelet he had given me. I put it in front of the photo and opened my bag.

"I can't live like this Ciel, without you." I mumbled and took out the knife Ciel had used himself to take his life. I put it in the snow and wiped my eyes again. "It's to pain full to know you won't come back to me." I chuckled slightly and sat down on my knees again. "It's not like I have anything left in the world now, my parents are dead as well. My mother died only some days ago, she lost to cancer and my father was in a school shooting."

As I spoke I thought of everything, everyone I was close to died eventually. My father, mother and Ciel. I'm happy that Alois didn't. "I'm cursed, and the only way to stop it, and my pain." I took the knife up again and clinched my fist around it.

"Is death."

I took the knife up to my throat and closed my eyes. "I'm sorry Ciel. I love you." I whispered and put pressure on it before I slit it over the thin, soft skin. I dropped it and took a deep breath but ended up coughing blood on the snow. I stood on all four and stared at the blood that in a fast rate flowed out of my throat.

I really am crazy.

The crimson red looked so beautiful on the pure white snow on his grave. I collapsed on the ground and laid there, taking my last breaths of air as I looked at the name Ciel Phantomhive and smiled. "I l-love….you, C-c..iel Phantomhive.." I choked out.

The very moment my vision turned black, I swore. I swore I could hear Ciel's soft voice whisper into my ear 'I love you too'. I smiled faintly and tears fell down my dying eyes and I closed them slowly, knowing it was over.

Everything is over now.

Come Ciel, let's take a walk. It was a long time since I saw you my love.

My Ciel, my sweetheart.

I'll never leave you now.

We are together again, right?

My Ciel, I'm sorry it took so long for me to find you again.

I'm sorry.

Ciel, I love you.

I love you too Sebastian.