I got an extremely nasty review for my last chapter. It was mean, ugly, and completely uncalled for. I do not appreciate it. I don't mind getting constructive criticism, but outright meanness I do mind.

Keep your ugly comments to yourself. You know who you are.

The rest of you, thank you for your support. I appreciate it.

Bella's POV:

I looked like crap.

Alice had done her best, but even she couldn't disguise the bags under my eyes or the lifeless look to my hair. Despite their continued promises, and the fact that someone was with me all the time, I couldn't get rid of the nagging fear.

Or the nightmares.

The sedatives made it worse. I didn't tell Carlisle or anyone else that; they were feeling guilty enough. Jasper could hardly bear to be in the same room with them. They thought they were helping me – but it only made it impossible to wake up. I had to endure them, with no hope of escaping them.

And I got roughly the same amount of rest anyway.

Seth and Jacob were coming to see me today.

Esme heard them coming down the hall way before I did. She rose from her chair gracefully, laying aside the book she'd been reading to me.

She smiled back at me. I did my best to return it.

"I'll be right back," she promised.

I tried not to panic, faced with the silence of an empty room. Breath in. Out. She's just outside. Breath in. Breath out.

An eternity passed before Seth cautiously opened the door and peeked in.

"Hi, Bella!" he said, his infectious smile making me smile, too.

"Hey, Seth," I said, clearing my throat.

"So, uh, how are you doing?" he asked, coming all the way in. "Esme had to go make a phone call. So you're stuck with me."

In spite of my fear I smiled again – Seth had that effect on people.

"So, how are you?" he asked again, pulling a chair up next to the bed and plopping down in it.

"I'm okay," I answered automatically, then flinched. It was a painfully obvious lie, and both of us knew it.

"So how does it feel to be a hero?" I asked quickly, to move his attention off of me.

He flushed a little. "I didn't do anything," he said. "Except maybe get you shot."
"Oh, no you don't," I said heatedly. "You can't blame yourself, too. Geez, there's enough self-blame going around her to suffocate anyone."

"Fine then, I'm a hero," he said cheerfully.

I gaped at him, caught off guard by his easy assent.

"Esme said not to upset you," he defended himself. "So cool, I'm a hero. Next topic?"
I had to laugh. "You've got to be the easiest person in the world to get along with," I told him.

"That's what they tell me," he said, lifting one shoulder.

"So what were you doing in the bank?" I asked the question that had been nagging at me ever since my mind had started functioning somewhat correctly again.

"Well, turns out my mom knows Lily Duvall, and she wanted me to stop in and say hi…"

I sighed. "Seth, you're a horrible liar. Anyone ever tell you that?"

He looked sheepish. "Actually, yeah."
I stared at him until he sighed and dropped his gaze. "Fine. But you have to promise not to get upset. Or else Jake will kill me. And possibly Edward."

"Okay…"

He heaved another sigh. "And you have to promise not to get mad at me."

"Seth, it would have to be pretty bad for me to get mad at you."

He muttered something I couldn't hear. "Jake told me to keep an eye on you while you were in town with Carlisle."

"Why?" I asked, puzzled.

Seth looked at me reluctantly. "He said it was an opportunity."

My drugged brain took a moment to process this.

"You mean he thought…"

"Carlisle was giving you an alibi for the weekend."

I groaned. "Does Jacob never give up? Seriously? He thought I would do that…just disappear over the weekend? Leave Charlie and everyone else with no warning?"
Seth looked anxious. "Look, Bella, forget I said anything. Jacob didn't mean any harm. He likes you. I do too."

I thought about something else just then. Seth had nearly gotten himself killed…because of me. My fault. He was in town because of me.

"Bella, are you all right?"

He leaned over, peering closely at me. "I think I should get someone."

"No," I gasped. "Please, give me some water."
He willingly held the glass while I drank. "You don't look so good," he noted.

"Thanks a lot," I muttered. "Seth, I'm glad you didn't get hurt."

"Hey, no prob. Heroes are invincible, remember?"

I leaned back against the pillows, exhausted. "Hey, you should probably go make sure Edward and Jacob aren't tearing each other apart out there," I whispered.

He stood reluctantly. "I'll come visit again soon, okay?" he asked uncertainly.

"That would be great, Seth. Thanks."

Alone in the room once more, I fought to control my panic. I had hoped to never feel this way again. After Edward…left, the pain had threatened to tear me apart from the inside out.

This time it was a different pain. Guilt burned at the heart of it.

Guilt that I was responsible…and fear that they would realize it was a mistake to ever come back for me in the first place.