Disclaimer: everything belongs to Charlaine Harris

The morning after I raised my boss from the dead, I got up to find him sitting half-dressed in my backyard on my chaise lounge.

He shied away a little when I passed him a mug of coffee, sat beside him, and declared, "We have to talk."

Sam shook his head, not meeting my eyes. "I can't, Sookie. I died, you saved me. I feel weird, and I can't talk about it yet."

"Of course you feel weird. I used a very strong and one-time-only piece of magic on you. I watched you die, and I made you come back. I hope you're not angry with me for that." I thought about how I'd always felt about being allowed to die a normal human death.

Sam finally looked up. "Mad...Sookie, I...thank you. Whatever you did, thank you. It's just the shock."

It must have been the shock that had Sam rolling shirtless in my lush grass moments before I came outside. I looked around the yard and was bemused to find its inhabitants expanding with enthusiasm.

I'm not sure which I thought first - "Wow," or "Niall."

I had to shake it off. I needed to know something important, needed to make sure Bill and Eric weren't on to something.

"Sam, how often do you purposefully block me from your thoughts, and how hard is it for you?"

His eyes widened. "Sookie, I know you don't feel comfortable reading people's thoughts."

"How often, Sam? You can either answer honestly, or have sex with me, just once, as an experiment." I had too many possibilities for impending doom on my plate to skip a little flirting and mischief. I was pretty sure Eric would have appreciated this approach, if I'd ever needed to try it on him.

Sam froze for a split second, then I followed him as he rose. I was determined to resolve this once and for all, so I stripped off my own shirt as I stepped forward into Sam's warm chest.

"Sookie..." Sam groaned. I slid one arm around his back, the other hand up his chest to his neck, and quietly begged, "Don't block me."

Sam might have relaxed a little then,but then I nuzzled my way from his chest to his lips. I heard everything - first a swirling mass of shifter feelings, then Sam's more human thoughts. I didn't care what they were, I just needed to know how strongly I could feel them. I would not ask Sam to go through life working as hard to block me as I do to block humans. In that moment, I knew that he'd have to.

"We can never be," I declared, pulling away from his mouth and body to simply hold his hands. I'd be letting go of certain possibilities with Sam the moment I dropped them. "I love you as a friend, Sam Merlotte. Don't believe anything you hear. I'll explain what happened soon. You can rest in my guest bedroom if you like."

Sam pulled away, stunned, and muttered that he'd better be getting home. I felt like I could let him go in good conscience, knowing I'd call his mom the moment he left, and she could be here by tomorrow. "Take care, Sam." I watched him climb into his truck and waved as he turned down the driveway. Sam needed some time to recover, and I needed to make a plan.

I simply couldn't foresee a real relationship with Sam, not because of who or what he was on its own, but because of what I could do. That much skin to skin contact with Sam was just uncomfortable, and he had to work too hard to block me. As my skills improved, it would only get worse. Maybe I was being high-handed, short-sighted, or even a little prejudiced against all the creatures I could read, just for my comfort. Right now, I wanted to waste energy fighting my gift as little as possible, and didn't want to miss nearby threats because I was busy trying to stay out of someone's mind.

I had enough on my plate without worrying over any lost opportunities with Sam. I was sure - because of my use of the cluviel dor - that Eric would now think he had no option and had to go to Oklahoma. Not that he'd bothered to talk to me afterward, or tell me his plans. As much as I wanted to wallow in that sadness, I needed to figure out my own new situation. If I could, I'd like to provide a choice for him, some relative safety. I didn't know what he would do with them, but I hated to see him not have either. More importantly, I needed to assess the current threats to my own safety. After calling Sam's mom and getting her promise that she'd be here tomorrow, I made a pot of coffee and tried to focus on making a plan for my future.