"Need You Now"
"I'm always here if you need anything." The words played through her mind. It was something that had hunted her for a long time, years in fact. Those where heartbreaking words that Logan had spoken to her, because he didn't think that she needed him, that she ever needed anyone.
Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor.
Reaching for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind?
For me it happens all the time.
Veronica sat on the corner of the bed, looking at the mess on the floor. What had happened? She glanced back at the broken bedroom window and sighed, feeling the tears prick her eyes. Her home had never been broken into before, it was unnerving.
She looked at the broken glass on the floor, the pictures and papers thrown all over. She could feel a sob forming, her throat growing tight with emotion that she didn't want to set free.
The police had just left, taking her statement, looking for what was taken, why her home. They told her that it was just random. Places get broken into all the time, she just never thought that it would happen to her.
It was late when she finally let herself cry, curling into a ball on the bed, still fully dressed. She didn't feel safe now. Something about knowing someone could break in and take things, mess with things, it made her feel uneasy, not safe.
Wiping the tears away she reached for her phone and hovered over pressing one of her preset speed dials. She could hear his words, still replaying in her head. She could always hear them in moments of need, but her stubbornness never let her make the call.
There had been so many times before that she had wanted to call him. After her break up with Piz, when Wallace was in a car accident, during her FBI training, late nights when she just missed the sound of his voice. But she was never able to do it, she couldn't give in.
She had tried her best not to follow him over the years, to keep tabs on him like before. When they broke up over the Madison thing, she decided that she just couldn't do it anymore, no matter what, she couldn't trust herself or him.
[Chorus:]
It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.
Said I wouldn't call but I've lost all control and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without.
I just need you now.
"Hello?" his voice was hard to hear over the background noise.
"Hello?" he asked again.
What could she say? She wasn't sure if she could say anything now, hearing his voice. It brought on a whole new wave of emotions, and she could feel her stomach contracting, holding back the sob.
"Dude, I can hear you breathing." He sighed. "617. 617." His voice was softer now, and the noise was less. "Veronica?" he breathed out in a whisper.
That was all it took, was hearing him say her name again. "Logan," he breathed out before the sob could escape.
"Veronica, where are you? Are you okay? What's wrong?" all the questions seemed to fall from his mouth at once.
She couldn't speak yet, the sobs still ripping through her body. And the fact that he kept saying sweet things and asking her questions didn't make it any better.
"Are you okay?" he asked again after a few minutes, when he couldn't hear her sobs anymore.
"I just," hiccup, "I just needed to hear your voice."
"Where are you?"
"My apartment, in Boston." She couldn't make herself say that she was home. In all the places that she has lived, she has never been able to call any of them home.
"And you're sure you're okay?" he asked again. "Your dad and Wallace, they are both okay?"
"Yeah, everyone is fine." Her voice was horse from all the crying. "Someone broken into my apartment, and, and I just I needed you."
The words were enough to make his heartbreak.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called you." Veronica said quickly, pushing herself up on her bed, looking at the mess all around her. "I am so sorry Logan, I don't know what I was thinking."
"No, Veronica-"
"It's a Friday night, you're busy. I'm sorry." She said before hanging up the phone.
Another shot of whiskey, can't stop looking at the door.
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind?
For me it happens all the time.
Over the last five years he had spent a lot of time in this bar, waiting, hoping to see her. He knew that it was a long shot, she wasn't in town anymore. But he also knew, that if she was, this is where she could come.
"Another?" the bar tender asked, looking at the empty glass.
"Yeah, sure." Logan sighed, pushing the glass away from her. "Thanks man."
"You want to talk about?" he asked leaning on the bar in front of Logan.
Logan glanced towards the door, blowing out a breath before looking at the man in front of him. Gerry had owned the bar for as long as Logan could remember. He remember coming here with his mother when they first moved here, looking for a spot to host their first part because their house was getting painted. His connection with the bar grew over the years. It wasn't fancy, or nice, not like the Grand, it was just that place to go, where you could get a drink, see your friends, shot a game of pool.
"Nah, I'm good."
"You heard from her?" Gerry asked.
"Who?" Logan asked. "Veronica?"
"Yeah, I haven't seen her since graduation."
"Neither have I." Logan asked, raising the glass to his lips. He hadn't seen Veronica in years, and it had been even longer since he'd heard from her. Their relationship was always strained, their past making it impossible for either of them to fully give themselves to each other. He had hurt her to much in the past for her to ever trust him, and she had never really given him a fair chance, always holding him at such a higher stander than anyone else. They both had trust issues, and that always stood in their way.
There had been so many moments over the years that he wished she'd call, things that had happened that he wanted her to need him, to want him. But it never came. She didn't call when Wallace was in the hospital, he found out through Mac. It hurt to think that maybe she truly was never going to need him.
He sat his drink down when his phone started to vibrate in his pocket. He never looked at the number, because only the people he gave his number to had it. He was private, always had been.
"Hello?" he asked, hoping that his speech wasn't to slurred. He waited for a response, but none came. "Hello?" he asked again wondering if they couldn't hear him over the noise in the bar. The closer her got to the door, the clearer the breathing was on the other end. "Dude, I can hear you breathing." He said stepping outside, pulling his phone away to look at the number. If this was another one of Dick's drunk dials, he was going to be pissed. "617." He read the number, he didn't know that prefix. "617." He said again when it started to dawn on him. "Veronica?" he whispered, "Veronica is that you?" was she finally calling him, after all this time?
[Chorus:]
It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now.
Said I wouldn't call but I've lost all control and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without.
I just need you now.
He might have been a little drunk, but the tears in her voice were real, and the simple fact that she needed to hear his voice meant everything in the world to him. Before he had even gotten into a taxi, he was booking a plan ticket. It would only take six hours, and he would be there. His flight would leave from LAX in two hours. He would go straight to the airport, despite the look he got from the cab driver. He would arrive in Boston just before 8 AM.
Oh whoa
Yes I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all.
She was groggy when she woke up. The alarm on her phone going off, signaling that it was 8 AM. She only allowed herself to sleep in on the weekends, when she got that was that. She looked over the side of her bed, broken glass, frames, pictures, everything was still scattered around. She couldn't bring herself to clean any of it up. After she hung up on Logan, she didn't have the strength to do anything. She laid in her bed until she had finally fallen into a restless sleep.
The light was coming through her broken window, and the reality of it all seemed to hit her all over again. Someone has been inside her apartment, the place that she was meant to feel the safest in. She sat up and ran her fingers through her hair a few times, taking out the tangles before she made herself get up on the side of the bed away from the broken window. She needed to call her dad, because she didn't know what else to do. But she couldn't call him yet, it was still too early on the West coast. And thinking about that made her think about Logan again. How could she have called him last night? She was sure that she never crossed his mind, not anymore.
But she couldn't think about that, not anymore, not now. She made her own plan of action in her mind. She would shower first, then deal with the mess. Hopefully by then it would be late enough that she could call her dad.
It was a half hour later that she stepped out of her bathroom in a pair leggings and a t-shirt. "Thanks for the mess." She muttered as she bent down to start cleaning up the glass.
"Damn it." Veronica said dropping the dust pan filled with shards of glass. She cradled her left hand in her right, close to her chest, watching as the blood started to drip. She got up to go find a towel but walking to the bathroom, she stepped on shard of glass, and felt the tears well up in her eyes, as she saw the blood prints on the carpet.
She shook her head looking at the gash in her hand, as she held a towel to it, trying to stop the bleeding. Using her chest to apply pressure to her hand, she bent over to look at her foot, pulling out the glass she had stepped on, wincing at the pain.
She had started to look for a band aid when she heard a knock on her door.
"Seriously!" she shouted, fighting back the tears. She hobbled towards the doors, trying to keep from getting more blood spread around. She tore the door open, only to feel her breath catch with the smirk that was waiting for her.
"Veronica." he smiled, knowing that he had surprised her.
"Logan, what are you doing here? How did you get here?" she asked.
"You said you needed me." He smirked, looking her up and down, his smile fading at the sight of her hand, and the drops of blood under her foot.
"What happened?" he asked reaching for her hand, before picking her up.
"Logan." Veronica said in protest. "Put me down!"
"You're bleeding." He told her, carrying her into her kitchen, and placing her on the counter, so he would be able to look at her foot.
"It's fine, I'm fine." She whispered, still shocked at the sight of him.
"You're always fine." Logan said, not stopping as he crouched down to look at her injured foot. "What happened?"
"I was cleaning up the broken glass." Veronica rolled her eyes. "Someone broken in through a window."
"That would explain the state of your apartment." Logan sighed, grabbing paper towels to hold to her foot.
The two were silent while he worked to stop the bleeding on her foot before taking her hand. Her palm had seemed to stop bleeding, and he smiled up at her.
"What are you doing here?" she whispered again.
"I told you, you said you needed me, so here I am." He smiled.
"I believe I said I needed to hear you voice."
"Details Mars."
"Reality Echolls." Veronica smiled. All the worry from the night before, even that morning seemed to melt away while she looked at him. "You're actually here." She sighed, feeling the tears well up in her eyes, shaking her head.
"Yeah, I am." Logan smiled, standing up so he could hold her in his arms, tucking her head under his chin, rubbing circles on her back. She could feel him sobbing into his chest, as her arms circled around him, holding him tightly. "I'm here." He whispered, kissing the top of her head. "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."
"Good cause I need you." She chuckled, she had never thought she would actually speak those words, but it felt so good to finally let them out.
[Chorus:]
It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.
And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now.
Well I don't know how I can do without.
I just need you now
I just need you now.
Oh baby I need you now.