Shuffle Chapter 6: Someone Like You, a veronica mars fanfic

"Someone Like You"

I heard that you're settled down
That you found a girl and you're married now.
I heard that your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you.

"Veronica." Mac called softly, coming into the apartment that she shared with her best friend. She was nervous, she wasn't sure how she was going to tell her this.

"What's up?" Veronica called from her bedroom, popping her head out into the hallway.

"The mail came." Mac said biting down on her bottom lip. She looked at the paper in her hands before looking up at her friend again. "Something came, for me."

"What is it?" Veronica asked looking at her curiously. She had never seen Mac act like this, it was strange. "You're freaking out me here Mac."

"Veronica, I really don't know how to tell you this." Mac said extending her arm, handing the envelope to her. Maybe this way would be easier.

"What is this?" Veronica asked taking it from her and looking it over, she pulled the card out, and still didn't understand what it was she was looking at. "I don't understand." She whispered opening the card and reading it. She ran her fingers over the top of his name.

Because you have shared in our lives, your friendship and love we,

Rose Anne Reeves

Logan Andrew Echolls

Together with our families invite you to share in a day of happiness when we exchange our marriage vowels.

'Time to put your game face on Mars, every move you make from here out is going to make you or break you. Mac is going to be watching, and she's obviously expecting some sort of reaction. So don't give her one. Hand her back the card, and smile. Ask what she'll wear to such a fancy shin dig. Do anything but cry, or show any real emotion at all. Indifference in key here.'

Veronica handed the card back to her roommate. "Should I feel hurt that I wasn't invited?" she asked. "Or is it bad form to invite your exs to your wedding?"

"I won't go." Mac said quickly.

'Damn you Mars. You forgot that this girl has lived with you since junior year of college, she can read your humor like a book. Plus she'd have to be stupid to think that this wouldn't have any sort of effect on you at all. She used to hear to crying in the middle of night. She was there after you were shot out and called out for him. She's not stupid, she's your best friend.'

"No you should. You two are still business partners. Rate my ass still brings in money." Veronica told her. She could pretend to be strong all she wanted, she knew it wouldn't work.

"That doesn't mean I have to go. Plus I wouldn't go alone, not to something like that. Dick could hit on me again, and I'd rather just not deal with that." Mac told her.

Veronica knew what she was referring to. It happened the last time they had seen Dick and Logan. It was only a few months ago, did she know then that Logan was seeing someone? Someone serious enough to get married?

They had gone home to Neptune for the weekend. Veronica was being forced to take some time off, something that happened to agents after big cases, or any case ended badly. And Mac wanted to go see Ryan for his birthday, so it was an easy choice to make.

They had been at the Hut, getting coffee when in walked the blast from their past. Neither of them had seen each other since graduation nearly two years ago. It was awkward at first, but they easily fall back into their routine of verbal sparring and banter. Dick tried to ask Mac out, but she shot him down without even blinking, and Logan and Veronica chatted the whole night away, not even seeming to notice the others around them.

"I-uh." She could feel the emotions stirring inside her, trying to find a way out. "I've got some case files I need to finish going over before tomorrow." She rubbed her eyes, hoping that would make it less obvious that her eyes were watering. "So I'll see you for dinner in about an hour, yeah?"

"Yeah, I'll order in, maybe run out and grab some ice-cream." Mac nodded before allowing Veronica to disappear to deal with the news on her own.

Old friend, why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light.

Veronica wasn't sure she wanted to go. She knew Neptune was going to be a mess the whole weekend, hell she was going to be a mess that weekend. She had wanted to spend it in her own drunken stupor, maybe with Wallace, or at some club. And to make matters even worse it was the weekend before her birthday. It should have been a joyful weekend, but she was finding it hard to find any joy in it.

"You know, I was fine with ordering in." Veronica announced again as they pulled into Cho's parking lot. "Dad even said he would pick it up on his way home." Somehow she had convinced herself that going back to Neptune the weekend of Logan's wedding was the right thing to do, the best way to show that she, Veronica Mars, was indifferent to what was happening in his life.

"It's your birthday weekend." Mac told her. "Plus I want to see if Corny is still working here. He still owes me like $300 for that computer job I did for him the last time I was home."

"I could have just looked him up from the comfort of my dad's couch Mac." Veronica complained as they walked towards the entrance. "And I don't care, my birthday isn't until Tuesday, I will celebrate with everyone that isn't my father then."

"Veronica, it's just dinner. Try and enjoy it?" Mac asked, opening the door for her friend.

Veronica was greeted with the shouting of surprise when she entered the pizzeria. She was a little taken back by the people standing before her, wishing her an early happy birthday.

"That and I don't think we could have snuck all these people into your dad's apartment without you noticing." Mac laughed.

'Maybe there is something good about this weekend.' She thought at she mingled with her friends, Weevil, Wallace, Mac and her parents, her dad, Cliff, Leo, Sacks, and a few other people filled the restaurant. It was all fun and enjoyable until the blond surfer and his best friend walked in.

"Ronster, happy birthday!" Dick laughed slapping her on the back.

"Yeah, thanks Dick." Veronica said unable to look at the man standing next to him.

"Happy Birthday Veronica." he finally whispered, causing her head to shot up and stare at him.

Was that how it was doing to be now? Using full names, and half hearted comments. At one point in time they had been so close to each other that they could carry on a conversation as though the rest of the world didn't exist around them. But staring at him, she knew that wasn't the case anymore.

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

He had knocked on her door once at 3 in the morning, the only difference was at the time, she had actually been hoping that he would show up at her door. She was sure that right now that wasn't the case. Veronica Mars was probably the last person that Logan Echolls wanted to see at 3:04 AM, just days before his wedding.

"Veronica?" he asked, opening the hotel room door. "What are you doing here?"

"I don't know." Veronica said shaking her head. She wasn't sure why she was there, not really. It was clear that Logan had moved on. And she had spent the last few months trying to accept that fact. But she had been laying in bed, trying to sleep, trying not to think about the way he acted when they saw each other at Cho's, that it seemed impossible. She couldn't hold it back any longer.

"You're getting married, and I'm stuck trying to wrap my head around that, and for awhile I actually thought I had, I mean I really thought I had it all figured out. And then I see you, and you act like you hardly even know me, and suddenly it all comes back to me, and before I know it, I can't sleep, and I'm standing in front of you hotel room." Veronica said brushing past him into his room. She paced back and forth in front of the couch.

"I mean seriously. I just saw you, not even six months ago, and you didn't even mention that you were seeing someone, you flirted with me, you acted like you've always acted. And then out of nowhere Mac gets this wedding invitation. You know that we live together, so you knew I was going to see it. And I have no right to care, I shouldn't care anymore." She stops and looks at him finally. "But I do care, every part of my cares, I've always cared."

"Veronica." Logan sighed running his hand through his hair, pulling on his ends.

"No Logan, you told me. You told me that we were epic, that we were about bloodshed, ruined lives, that our love would be spanning continents. You told me if I needed you, you'd always be there. You told me that you loved me." She shouts at him, angry at herself for revealing this type of emotion. "What am I suppose to do now?"

"What do you expect me to do Veronica?" he asks ashamed of himself. "Did you expect me to wait for you, to hang around until you were ready to put me through the ringer again? You said you wanted me out of your life Veronica. You told me you were done with me. I've only done what you've asked."

"I never asked you to stop loving me." Veronica couldn't fight back the tears while she told him. Every part of her heart was breaking. "I never asked you to give up on me Logan."

"You never asked me not to either." Logan whispered.

"I love you Logan, I am not ready to give up on that." She whispered back.

"I'm sorry Ronnie."

Almost as though the nickname triggered something inside her, her mask slipped back into place, the tears in her eyes drying up, and the reality of what she was saying dawned on her. With wide eyes she clapped her hand over her mouth, the feeling she had when she saw Kendall warp her arms around him the morning after Alterna-Prom set in, and she pushed past him again, this time headed for the elevator. She couldn't even apologize for what she had done, for the things she had said.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead"

She openly cried into the pillow on her father's lap, while he rubbed circles on her back.

"It's okay sweetie." Keith told her softly. "It's going to be okay."

"It wasn't over, not for me." Veronica tells him through a sob. She wasn't ready to give him up, to give up hope that they would be able to find their happily ever after in each other. She wasn't ready to admit that maybe, just maybe, he could love someone more than he loved her.

"I know honey." He tells his daughter. "But sometimes love lasts, and sometimes it does nothing but hurt."

She knew that her father would give anything to take away her pain, and she could give anything to be able to hide it from him. But she had never felt this broken before, this lost and hurt. It was a new level for her.

You know how the time flies
Only yesterday was the time of our lives
We were born and raised
In a summer haze
Bound by the surprise of our glory days

For most people high school and college was meant to be the time of their lives, their glory days, the days they looked back on and longed for. But it hadn't been like that for them. High school had been pledged by the death of Lilly Kane, and most of college was hunted by rapists and break ups. Things neither of them wanted to look back on. There were very few good times they had back then, that they could look back on.

They had those summers, those moments in time that they had figured out how to make it work, how to over look all the bad and evil that seemed to follow them, and just be. They had almost two whole summers together that weren't plagued by trust issues, fears, rapists, murders, or anything else.

There time together hadn't been very long, but it was enough to hold onto. Their feelings for each other were enough to leave the lasting impression that forever would happen at some point. But now, in what Veronica had thought would finally be their glory days, were turning into Logan's glory and her heart break.

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I'd hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

"You don't have to do this." Mac told her through the closed bathroom door. "No one in their right mind is expecting you to do this."

"No one in this town is in their right mind." Veronica supplied. "Plus, I have to do this for myself." She whispered looking at herself in the mirror. Her long blond hair was sleeked back in a low pony tail that gave it more elegant look. She slowly applied the soft pink lip stick before turning and opening the door.

"Well, at least you look good." Mac shrugged at her friend. She knew better than to try and talk her out of this.

"I always look good." Veronica smiled and gave a soft laugh.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."

"I've got to admit, I'm surprised you called." He smiled as they greeted each other with kisses on the cheek.

"So am I." Veronica gave him a soft smile in return.

"How have you been? I heard from Luke that you were in Neptune a few weeks back. Visiting your dad?"

"Yes, Mac and I went up for the weekend, I had a few days off from work." She smiled.

"That's right, I hear you're a real Federal Agent now days." He laughed as they followed the host of the restaurant to their table.

"And where do you hear all of this information?" she asked, truly curious. It had taken some digging on her part to find out what he was up to.

"Around, people. You know us 09ers, we love to talk about Veronica Mars." He smiled at her as he pulled her chair out.

"Well, I'd love to hear what the great Casey Grant has been up to." Veronica told him.

She hadn't stayed in Neptune any longer after the night she went to Logan's hotel room. She couldn't make herself stay there any longer, and Mac had no problems returning to North California with her.

When she got back, and rediscovered her groove in her life, she called Casey Grant. She was determined to move on, to find someone that she could love again, someone like Logan.

Nothing compares
No worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes
They are memories made.
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

Things with Casey were easy, they always had been. It was an easy friendship to form back in high school, and an easy relationship to start now. Veronica never had past issues with him. He was always honest with her, even if he was a jerk through most of high school. So she had no issues trust him the way she had with Logan. She could just be with him. And that's what she did.

Casey became a new fixture in her life, just like coffee, or Italian food.

Although there was still a large hole in her heart, one that she would became painfully aware of while she laid alone at night, but Casey did seem to ease that pain, and help to heal her wounds.

She knew that her love for Logan would never compare to the love she would have for anyone else. She had lost her chance at epic, and she was learning to deal with that, finding ways to cope.

That's how she ended up at a publishing party a mere seven months after her first date with Casey, on his arm.

"Don't let anyone tell you any different, you're the most gorgeous woman in the room." Casey whispered into her ear as they walked around the large ballroom. It wasn't a fancy party, but Grant publishing did nothing half assed.

"Should I share that fact with your mother?" Veronica laughed looking up at him.

"Absolutely." Casey smiled before leaning down to kiss her softly. "I'll stand by it, all the way."

"That's good to know." Veronica smiled when he pulled away. "Now tell me, who's the author we're trying to impress tonight?"

"How'd you know?" Casey asked, his face falling a little. He hadn't taken Veronica to many of the publishing parties because the dates always conflicted with something, or even he himself wasn't going.

"Because, this is too casual to be super important, and it's got to be someone big if you're here." Veronica looked around the room, trying to figure it out. "I'm FBI, remember?"

"How could I ever forget?" he laughed.

"Due to the amount of finger foods, I'm going to say it's a woman." Veronica observed. "She must be married, because I don't see Ethan in attendance, or has he been banned from all parties since he tried to cop a feel?"

"Actually when I told him you were coming tonight he said that he had other plans, and wouldn't be able to attend." Casey smiled at her. "But I do enjoy watching you use your profile skills. Although she's not married, but is in a relationship."

"Well am I going to get to meet her?" Veronica asked. "Or was that most beautiful girl in the woman, your way of buttering me up because she's drop dead gorgeous herself?"

"You're the most gorgeous woman in the room, hands down." Casey laughed at her, taking her hand and twirling her out a few feet making her red cocktail dress flare out.

"Okay, you've sucked up enough," Veronica said coming back into his embrace and hugging him around the middle. "Go speak to whomever it is that needs your attention. I'll mingle with the people I like." She reached up to kiss him once before shooing him away, knowing that he had people to talk to, and she would just be bored on his arm.

She walked around the room until she came to the buffet table, and slowly looked the food over, filling up her own plate. Before she would have loaded her plate, but now just picked at things, not really in the mood for food.

"There must be something wrong with my eyes." A voice floated from across the table, causing her to look up.

The pain was instant, but she wouldn't show it. She had gotten really good at hiding it from everyone.

"You're half way down the table, and there is still room on your plate." He joked.

Veronica looked down at her plate, suddenly her apatite had all together disappeared. "Maybe this isn't my first time through." She commented, looking for a spot to discard her plate. She didn't bother with anymore small talk, she found a waited, hander over her plate, and looked for an escape route.

"Running away from me again Ronnie?" he asked, coming up behind her.

"More like walking." Veronica commented. "These heels weren't really made from running. Although I'm sure I could out run you in them if I wanted to."

"There you are." Casey said with an arm gesture as Veronica walked towards him the group of people he was talking to. "Looks like you found Logan as well." He nodded towards the man behind Veronica.

"He actually found me." Veronica smiled, taking her place by Casey's side as his arm wrapped around her.

"Well Veronica this is Rose Reeves, hopefully our new editor over or magazine department." Casey said making introductions. "This is my wonderfully talented girlfriend, Veronica Mars."

Veronica froze looking at the woman, her black dress hugging her round pregnant belly. She could feel her stomach drop, and her eyes strong from the tears that wanted to form.

"It's a pleasure to meet you." Rose smiled, extending her hand. "I guess you already know my husband. Casey tells me you all attended high school together."

"It's a pleasure." Veronica was barely able to respond the woman, giving nothing but a small nod of the head before looking up at Casey. "I hate to do this, but I've been summonsed back to the office."

"Veronica works for the FBI." Casey explained to the group around them. "I'll walk you out."

"No, don't be silly." Veronica flashed a smile at him and then back at everyone in the group. "You're entertaining."

"Okay, fine you're sure." Casey smiled at her, leaning down to kiss her.

"It was a pleasure." Veronica said nodding at the group before turning, and walking as quickly as she could out of the room without it looking as though she was running.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."

She couldn't breath. That much she was sure of when she reached the elevators, away from the party. With a hand on her stomach, and one on the wall, she braced herself while she waited, waited for the elevator, waited for him. She knew that he didn't buy her story, she knew that if she chose, he could still see through her lies.

"Veronica." He said leaning casually on the wall next to her, not looking at her.

She couldn't control the rate her chest was rising and falling, her lungs were burning from the lack of oxygen, and her mind was racing with the image of the swollen, pregnant belly. She turned her head ever so slightly to look at him, to show him that she truly couldn't deal with this, with him. She wasn't ready for this. She wasn't sure if she would ever be ready.

"Veronica." he whispered, reaching out to touch her arm, to offer her comfort, but she flinched away.

She was sure that she would have died right there if he touched her, her heart would have finally stopped, and his pretty brown eyes would have been the last thing she saw.

"I'm sorry, this dress is just too tight." She whispered her excuse, knowing her wouldn't buy it, but he wouldn't call her on it either. When she finally had some control over her emotions she stood up and faced him properly.

"So Casey-" he started.

"He's a great guy." She cut him off with a smile.

Silence.

"You're wife is-"

"Yeah, she is." He cut her off nodding. He reached out to cup her face, the way he had so many times before, brushing a stare tear away with his thumb.

She closed her eyes and leaned her head into his touch, enjoying the way it felt, feeling the hole in her heart close, and the pain leave. But the ding of the elevator behind her seemed to bring her back to reality, and she stepped back, out of his touch and into the elevator. "Don't forget me." She whispered, tears once again rolling down her cheeks.

His smile was heartbreaking, and she knew that it wasn't only her heart that was breaking. And was the doors closed he told her. "I'll remember."

AN: Don't hate me, I had to write it. I started out writing a different version, and it's taken on a whole life of it's own. And then I heard this song again, and I knew it had to be done. The heartbreak, tears, I just couldn't help it.