Chapter One: It's a trap!
It was only just past 8:00pm, little over a week since the encounter with the clown princess and there had been an alert by the cops that Harley Quinn (and probably Joker) had kidnapped a woman from police custody, and were in pursuit. Bruce and Barbara were already suited up and left at once. It didn't make sense that Harley was the one who was running amok. Only the day previous she had pulled a thievery heist, making a big scene of it before fleeing in one of the joker's not-so-subtle get-away cars.
Turning onto another road, a purple and green car flew past them followed by six or seven police vehicles.
"Catch me if you can!" Harley whooped with her head out the window, blowing a raspberry at the cops.
"Do you think she's gone mad?" Barbara asked.
"Was that a joke?" Bruce responded, not all that amused as he maneuvered the Batmobil onto the road after Quinn.
Once the Bats were in the race, Harley sped up, easily leaving the police in the dust. Now she had what she wanted (and what she had failed to get yesterday) and made a beeline for the river. She was grinning happily and surprisingly relaxed as she tore up the streets.
In a matter of minutes she sprang from her car and darted into an abandoned building while her car flew into the river beside it. The Batman was just behind her and while Batgirl jumped out to chase Harley, he braked hard before diving into the river wear the car was sinking, a figure in the backseat. He needed to get to the woman.
Wrenching the car door open, letting water in and quickening the descent into the murky river, Bruce groaned in frustration at the sight inside. The figure was a mannequin with a green wig and Joker-style face. It had been a trick. This whole charade was a trap. Babs.
Barbara sprinted through the office building after the other woman who she could only hear ahead of her. The footsteps stopped ahead in another room and she knew that Harley had run to a dead end. She smiled to herself and darted into the room before the door behind her slammed shut (followed by a much heavier door and the sound of bolts being moved into place. Spinning around she deduced that this must have been some sort of safe-room because of the heavy duty gate that had been closed automatically. A trap.
"Hey, Batgirl!" Harley was now sitting in a chair facing Barbara, relaxed despite her heavy breathing (from running).
Barb's response was to drop into a fighting stance, her eyes wary.
"Oh, come on. You bats are all the same. Can't trust anyone can ya?" Harley seemed to be in good humor.
"What is this all about, Harley? Where's the girl?"
"There is no girl, it's a set-up, see? It's all just a prank!" She was pleased with herself.
"Then why? What are you up to?" Barbara withdrew from her stance and looked around, finding no cameras, no henchmen and no Joker. Bruce was right. There was something weird going on.
"I wanted to have a coffee with you, but the B-man wouldn't give you the invitation. So here," jumping from her seated position, Harley held out the letter and moved forward to hand it to Barbara who took it hesitantly. She took it from the crinkled envelope and read it quickly and raising a questioning eyebrow.
"See? Bats wouldn't even take it to you and he threw it on the ground. Can you believe the nerve of him? Is he like that to everyone? Well, it doesn't really matter because you're here now and you can now we can have coffee or tea or whatever you drink. I know it's nighttime, but you probably need to stay up anyway, right?" The girl didn't even seem to care that Barbara was eying her with disbelief.
"Really? Coffee? Why would you ask me to have coffee?"
Harley walked back to her seat and motioned for Batgirl to join her in the other chair, which she did.
"I told you in the letter, I'm bored out of my mind. Besides-" she was cut out by a deep, worried voice coming from Barbara's suit.
"Batgirl, can you hear me? What's going on? Where are you?"
Harley rolled her eyes and mouthed, 'how rude'. Babs was looking at her curiously and pressed a small button on her belt to talk, "It's alright, Batman, everything's under control. Quinn said she just wanted to have… coffee."
There was a brief moment of silence and Harley could almost hear him frowning, "Coffee? Again with the coffee?"
She got up from her seat quickly and moved to Barbara, who was still watching her. Unexpectedly the blonde dropped into her lap and pressed the button to speak. Barbara was rigid with surprise. "Hey there, B-man. Didja save ol' Gwen-doll-a? Sorry about all the fuss, but if you had just been a good messenger-boy I wouldn't have ta waste Mistah J's cars like that."
"Uh, Harley?" Barbara murmured. Their faces were only an inch apart because the jester was trying to talk into her mouth (where she assumed the speaking device was). With of the woman's arms between their bodies and the other around her neck for support, she was extremely unnerved by the proximity which didn't seem to bother the other at all.
"Harley, what are you up to?" the male voice was louder now that she was closer and Harley replied, ignoring (or unaware) of Barb's nervousness, "I'm not up to anything! You can go back to babysitting the city now. I'll just keep her for a little while. I promise she'll be right back with you later. Cross my heart and hope to die."
"It's fine. There's no one else here, and I don't think there's anything she can do to me I can't handle."
"Batgirl-"
"I can handle it."
"Fine, I can't find anyone here, but if she does anything strange-"
"Then I'll kick her ass and hand her to the Commissioner."
There was silence and finally a grunt of agreement.
Satisfied, Harley's grin stretched from ear to ear and she clapped her hands together before grabbing hold of Barbara again for balance. "Yay!"
"Uh, Harley… you can get off me now."
Nodding a little sheepishly, the blonde stood up quickly and jumped around, whooping with child-like excitement. Barbara watched, highly amused and forgetting her concern about being locked in a windowless room with a nutjob.
"This is going to be so much fun!" Harley gushed when she finally sat still. "Y'wanna go get that coffee now?" Her eyes were sparkling like a kid on Christmas morning.
Barbara was surprised, "What? You mean you actually want to go out and get coffee now?" It was already nearing 9:00, not to mention Harley Quinn and Batgirl sitting and sharing tea in public was just… bizarre. It'd be a ridiculous thing to do where everyone could see.
"Oh yeah, you're right," Harley looked a bit disappointed, "the B-man would probably start spying on us and everything." Barb was about to point out that wasn't what she meant, but decided against it when Harley started yammering on again, "Oh well! I came up with a back-up plan just in case. See, I brought a kettle and some coffee and everything, so we can have some here instead. We can play games and talk and have all sorts of fun. Until Bats gets worried again. I hope he's not like that with all your friends. He's like a really really scary dad."
Barbara had to grin at the last part, if just because of the way it was said with Harley frowning and contemplative.
"So, what'll it be, partner? Coffee, tea or chocolate?" Harley jumped from her place and quickly started to pull all sorts of containers and mugs from a bag in the corner.
"I might just have some milk, if that's okay," Barbara said. The response from Harley was to whip out the bottle of milk (with a number of coldpacks tied to it) and some milo for herself. Placing the two green mugs on the small table between them, she poured the milk quietly and mixed the chocolate mixture into her own.
There was a long moment of awkward silence before Barbara 'hmmed'. Harley spoke first, her eyes lighting up with an idea, "I know, let's play a game to get to know each other!"
"Uh, okay?"
"How about 20 Questions?"