Title: "You are my weakness" Chapter 3: "Hephaestion"

Author: too_beauty

Feedback: yes, please any kind of them will help me to improve my writing or leave it forever.

Pairing: Alexander & Hephaestion.; Ptolemy & Perdicas.

Rating: PG

Category: Historical AU so some personages will appear to serve the purpose of this story.

Disclaimer: I don't know the people involved; A&H belonged to themselves and to History, if not Hephaestion would be still among us, living under my "protection".

No beta so all mistakes are mine.

A page arrived to the dinning room where the companions were having breakfast; most of them with faces full of disgust due to Cassander's stalking attitude towards Alexander, who didn't dare to show he was against it. They were more than astonished with the Regent's attitude because he had always been very careful to hide his affection towards Hephaestion, and all of them knew that theirs was pure love, the one felt when two bodies and two souls share a real communion with each other, as Aristotle had taught them when they were no more than ten years old.

The courier delivered their correspondence and Ptolemy was amazed at discovering Hephaestion's handwriting. He mouthed Perdicas, who was sitting opposite him, "It is a letter from Phai" and with the corner of his eye, he discovered Alexander reading his lips, a practice Alexander and Hephaestion were master at when they didn't speak with their eyes, Ptolemy also noticed a pang of pain but it didn't reach the Regent's face. Ptolemy put the letter inside his chiton and finished his breakfast.

Cassander was getting bolder with his caresses until Alexander stopped him with a deadly look.

When the morning meal was finished, everybody went to fulfill their tasks; Ptolemy went directly to the stables, he was now in charge of Auburn who was not doing well since Hephaestion's departure.

Some minutes later, Alexander appeared and stood by his side while Ptolemy brushed Auburn's mane and talked to her, trying to convince the golden mare to eat an apple. Her eyes were empty and that provoked a shiver along Ptolemy's body because those black eyes matched his friend's ones, so empty and lifeless, so full of angst and pain.

"How is she doing?" Alexander asked while approaching a bit more.

"Not well, she misses him badly" Ptolemy answered looking at Alexander.

"Which of your mistress has written you a letter, Ptolemy?" the Regent asked with curiosity in his voice.

"Any mistress, Alexander, just a friend in pain."

"Is this friend of yours in need of your company? You may go to him for some days" Alexander offered.

"Thanks for your offer, Alexander, but he has someone to look after him" Ptolemy said in a casual tone.

Ptolemy saw how Alexander's chin trembled; he used to do that when his nerves were at a wreck, Ptolemy could have sworn that a hint of jealousy clouded Alexander's eyes.

"That's fine. Is he a good friend?" Alexander asked with curiosity.

"The best any man can have; he is reliable, intelligent, handsome and kind."

"He sounds to good to be true. May be I could invite him to visit the Court any day."

"I don't think it will be a good idea."

"Why not, Ptolemy"?

"Cassander can feel himself threatened by him and everybody knows how stupid Cassander gets when he is challenged. And I suppose that you wouldn't like to deal with a jealous Cassander." After saying that, Ptolemy excused himself with Alexander and took Auburn to her daily ride.

A very shocked Alexander was left standing alone in the stable and thinking if his decision had been the wisest.

Everybody was resting after lunch, the weather was rather hot and it invited to take a nap for a while. Alexander's heart was in a terrible state of turmoil, he decided to take a walk in the garden which, of course was Hephaestion's favourite place. There he found Ptolemy sitting against Hephaestion's apple tree with Perdicas's blonde head on his lap; that image brought Alexander a very sad memory because he remembered about two other boys in love sharing the same moment.

Ptolemy started to read a letter while racking Perdicas's hair with slow strokes.

Joy to you, my dear friend,

Here I am in my father's farm, trying to get my life back. I must be strong because my mother got terribly worried on my arrival; you know how Macedonian mothers are, always caring about their children excessively.

I am getting fairly distracted, my two younger sisters keep me busy and my little brother Lysander, who is four by now, looks at me as if I were a walking hero because I am Alexander's friend. I couldn't tell my siblings the truth even though my parents know up to the tinniest detail.

I don't have to tell you that my father got really disappointed and that he didn't understand Alexander's reasons; I don't understand them myself so how could he. My mother thinks this is all product of Alexander's upbringing. He was always pushed to his limits, first by Leonidas, then by both his parents, especially by Olympia who, from his early years, had asked him to fulfill the biggest sacrifices.

Don't worry, my dear Ptolemy, I am as well as I could, whatever that means. I have to confess that my heart broke into a thousand pieces; I got paralyzed for the first seven days. My mother said that I fell like under a sleeping spell because that was what I did for those seven first days. I don't recall anything about those days, my mind and heart were so badly hurt that the only thing I wanted to do was to die; I still want but I haven't found the courage to slash my throat yet, my family doesn't deserve that, I must be strong for them, my life will be devoted to them from now on because they are the only ones who I have and they mean a lot to me.

I hope you and Perdicas, as the rest of the Companions are doing well and preparing for the conquest of Asia. Just an advice: don't let the East eat you; those mysterious lands had their tricky ways to cloud people's minds.

Look after Alexander for me; I still worry about him even though he doesn't want anything more with me. I guess Cassander is warming his bed quite well.

I'd like to go on writing to you, my former brother in arms, but I'd also understand if you decide against it. Please, don't tell Alexander about this letter.

Health to you and may the gods bless you.

Hephaestion, son of Amyntor.

When the reading was over, Alexander saw Perdicas setting a kiss on Ptolemy's lips while caressing his cheek and he listened to "He'd be fine, he needs time to heal but our Phai is strong".

Since that very moment, Alexander knew that he had to get Phai's letter.

TBC