The disclaimers are all the same.

Anything that happens, unintentionally, to any of the MM in this story will not cause them lasting harm ... well, maybe one or two of them.

The Ultimate Debate 07
By Alf.

When we'd been sentenced to perform our penance in Boston, Brett and I had been told the exile wasn't to exceed six days at the very most. Tank lied. It was a big lie. He was no longer answering my emails or pages. He wouldn't pick up the phone to either Brett or me.

By day ten, I had long since give up trying to get different accommodations via George. George had other B&Bs that could work, but they were all in this neighborhood. Seems that Boston had a lot of conventions this time of year; odd, you'd think they'd all go to Florida to soak up the sun.

All things considered, Larry and Darryl's really wasn't that bad. Larry was holding back a chocolate muffin for me every morning, the coffee was decent and so was the bed. Unfortunately, Brett wasn't very good at staying on his own side and I found his head on my shoulder on more than one occasion. As we adjusted to the other's rhythms, it became easier just to go along to get along.

"Hurry up! Hurry up! Hurry up!" Brett was bouncing next to my chair and wasn't even trying to curb his enthusiasm.

"What's going on? Big plans for tonight?" I asked.

"It's a surprise! You are going to be so excited!"

This really didn't sound good. The more animated Brett got, the worse things usually were for me. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before I turned to look at him.

"We're going out with the boys tonight!"

The boys? The guys at the office were either on assignment or already gone for the night. Who was he talking about?

"Pardon?"

"Larry and Darryl have something special planned for us tonight with the rest of the boys. We need to change clothes, it starts in like half an hour."

Perfect, the boys. Well, I've been hanging out with them fairly successfully since this whole thing started, so what was one more night?

"Where are we going?"

"They wouldn't tell me, but they've called like six times to make sure we're both coming."

We? Now he's making my plans for me? Fine. Whatever.

"What's the dress code?"

I pretty much just had work uniforms, a couple pairs of jeans and one nice sweater.

"It's dressy casual. I mean, your sweater will work, but you definitely need to shave and do the aftershave thing."

We don't have to dress to impress, but evidently we need to smell to impress? This is just so wrong.

"If I would have known earlier, I would have sent you out for a manicure."

A what? Excuse me?

"Are we meeting them somewhere or are we all leaving from the house?" I asked. I can't believe I'm thinking of it as the house and as a home.

"They sent over the address. We need to get going! I went back during lunch and picked out your outfit for the night, complete with clean underwear."

Now this is just beyond weird. Brett is picking out my clothes, and underwear, is excited to be going out with the boys for the night and won't say what we're doing.

I was about to make a smart comment when the phone at my desk rang.

"Day."

"Visitor for you down in the lobby," said the voice.

It had better be Tank with a check for hazardous duty and an increase in our per diem.

"Be right down."

I shut down for the night and noticed the grin on Brett's face. It was the face of a kid about to get his first bike from Santa Claus; it was so radiant it almost glowed.

"Change first, change first, change first." A garment bag and my shaving kit were shoved into my arms.

Fine. I'll change and keep Tank waiting. I'd suffered enough in the past few days, he could wait a couple of minutes.

~x~x~

I decided that Tank could wait more than five minutes, I took a quick shower. After all, it is easier to shave if the beard has been warmed in the shower.

"I'm gonna call and tell them to wait fifteen more minutes for us," Brett called. "But we need to get a move on, come on."

Whining, not the best sound for Brett.

When I emerged from the locker room, I was clean, smelled good and had eliminated all signs of five o'clock shadow. I hope it was worth it because I was starving.

While I was in the shower, Brett had changed into a pair form fitting jeans, a light blue button down, and a sports jacket.

"Let's go," I said heading for the elevator.

When the doors opened at the lobby level, it wasn't Tank hanging out by the reception desk, it was Lester.

"Les, man, what are you doing here?" I asked.

Lester and I had been partners the first three years I'd been at Rangeman. He'd tried to mentor me in the ways of women, it didn't work. I did get to watch him work his magic and I can safely say that he has seldom, if ever, heard the word 'no'.

"Here for a couple of days. Tank wanted me to check in on you and Ella sent some provisions."

I hope it is brownies, fudge or divinity.

"Where are you staying?" I asked.

He looked at Brett and then at me and said, "You. Staying with you, buddy. What are we doing tonight?"

M N O P if I know. I really had no clue other than it was important to Larry, Darryl and Brett.

I shrugged and said, "No idea, bro. Some kind of a surprise, I think. I guess we'll all find out together."

We headed to the SUV Brett and I had been using and loaded Lester's duffle and assorted other paraphernalia into the back.

I followed the directions Brett had been given and we pulled into a pub of some kind. It didn't look like a typical sports bar, but it wasn't a dance hall either.

We got out of the car and were met by Larry at the front door.

"About time," he said to Brett. "You need to train him better. We've all been waiting for you."

Great.

"And who is this long, tall, drink of water?" he asked giving Lester a triple take.

"This is Lester Santos. Les, this is Larry Jones. He runs the bed and breakfast we've been staying at."

"You all friends?" Larry asked.

"Lester and I used to be partners," I said. In for a penny.

"I've been his partner before, too. He just likes variety," Brett said.

Larry looked at the three of us, "Well you all seem friendly about it."

"No reason not to be," Brett said.

"Let's get inside, this is going to be fun!"

We followed Larry down a hall into a large room full of booths. There were a dozen or so man there of all ages, sizes and shapes and only one woman. The woman was quite a looker, not overly tall with an athletic build. Her brown hair was shoulder length. No telling what color her eyes were because I got stuck looking at her cleavage. Everything was exactly where it needed to be and in perfect proportion. Wonder if she's single?

Larry went over to her and said, "Gina, the stragglers are here and they picked up a stray."

She nodded, smiled and handed us each numbers.

This was game night? Why wasn't there food?

"Everyone, we begin in ten minutes. If you want something from the bar, get it now. We won't break again for about an hour and a half," she announced to the room.

I went to the bar and got a couple of beers for Lester and Brett. Since I was the designated driver, I had Perrier.

The woman, Gina, blew a whistle and said, "Gentlemen, welcome to speed dating. You will have a chance to meet everyone in the room tonight. You will have eight minutes with each date, I will blow the whistle and then you move to the next date. We'll have a break at the halfway point."

Speed dating? What the fuck? Yes, I used the 'f' word, but this was one time when it was worth it.

Lester's jaw dropped and almost lost his beer. "Where are the women?"

"Just play along, Les. It's one night. It won't be that bad," I said. I didn't know if it was going to be that bad or not, but if I said it out loud, maybe it would all be OK.

Larry came up to me and whispered, "Darryl and I do this every few months to spice up our relationship. We pretend we don't know each other and see where it takes us. I know you two haven't been together all that long, but Darryl and I thought you needed some help in the romance department."

Please, if there's a God in heaven, don't let Lester hear that. Please?

Lester, who has been known for his superior hearing, came behind me and said, "Something special about you and Brett I need to know?"

"Can we talk about it after this is over?"

"My man, I want all of the details when tonight is over."

~x~x~

I decided not to think about this as dating, I decided this was just talking. I know who I am and what I want from life; sort of.

As the luck of the draw would have it, my first date was with Brett.

"I'm sorry I fucked up your life, Hal," he said looking down.

"It's not over yet. It's OK. You didn't know and it's just one night."

"Yeah, but they think we're a couple."

I didn't have the heart to tell him that they've thought we were a couple almost from the beginning.

We talked about movies that were guilty pleasures.

"I always liked The King and I," Brett said. "Yul Brennar was the man."

"I always liked musicals, but my favorite was South Pacific. When I was a kid, I lived in hope that the shower door would open and I could watch the girls as they sang 'Wash That Man Out of My Hair'." I can't believe I just admitted it to Brett.

"Dude, I was in the chorus for that back in high school."

My next date was Fred. Fred was a bear of a man; I mean to say that he really looked like a bear. He looked to be in his early 40s, was maybe 5'11, had a barrel chest, and every part of him was fury except for the top of his head. Hair was even trying to escape the confines of his shirt, guess he's into the natural look.

"Fred."

"Hal."

"So, do you have any special interests?" he asked.

"I love fishing."

We discussed fishing holes and bait. Then we lied about our best catches.

"So are you from around here?" he asked.

"Nah, just here for work. I don't know how much longer."

"Too bad."

My next date was a man named Tim. Tim was incredibly slender, so much so that if he turned sideways I thought he might just disappear.

"So, if you could spend any amount of money on a hobby what would it be?" I asked.

"Cool idea. Let's see, I have a thing for old muscle cars. Probably I'd finally fix up my old Chevelle. Right now there's more rust on the floorboards than floor."

We talked about the pros and cons of various 60s and 70s vintage cars, pre-catalytic converter when cars could still accelerate and gas prices didn't matter.

"You working on anything now?" he asked.

"Yeah, a 68 Nova. I redid the brakes a couple of weeks ago."

"Is it drivable?"

"Not yet, I've got some serious transmission work to do on it."

"Want some help?" he asked with a hair too much enthusiasm.

"The car's in Trenton."

He looked crestfallen.

~x~x~

In under two hours, I'd met everyone in the room except for Gina. It was really sort of nice and would have been nicer if this wasn't considered a dating adventure.

Both Lester and Brett were invading Gina's space and she was looking more than a little miffed about it.

"Guys, give her some room," I said. "She's got to do whatever she's got to do to finish this up."

Gina smiled at me and shooed the guys away with her hands.

"So, you gonna tell me what's up?" Lester asked.

"We've been here about ten days and there was no room at Rangeman and none of the local hotels had room," I said.

"Right."

"Did you try to book a room?" Brett asked.

"Nah. Tank told me you guys had enough room and you'd put me up."

Fabulous. Tank was going to be forever removed from my Christmas card list.

"Well, the place we're staying isn't exactly typical," I started to say. "And …"

Before I could finish the thought and break things gently to Lester, Gina brought the group to attention again.

"Gentlemen, I'm going to meet with each of you one on one to present to you your matches. I hope you all find love, if not tonight soon. Thanks for playing!"

Brett and Lester stuck to each other like glue. They were looking at the crowd over the rims of their glasses. I'm not sure if they were trying to guess who would have more matches or who they could outrun.

Brett was summoned first. He had palmed a piece of paper and wouldn't say anything.

Lester was summoned several minutes later. He too palmed his paper and was mute.

I was the last one to be summoned. While I was waiting, I made small talk with various men. No point in not being sociable, you know?

"Did you have a good time?" Darryl asked. He had wanted to be an undersea explorer as a child but discovered he was afraid of fish. It killed his early career prospects.

"It was interesting," I said in an attempt to be noncommittal. "Lots of nice people. Thanks for inviting us."

When I finally got face time with Gina, she said, "Hal, I'd like to congratulate you. More people wanted to get to know you better than anyone else in the group."

OK.

She handed me a slip of paper which had the name and number of everyone in the room except for Brett and Lester.

I put it in my pocked not quite sure how I felt about it. On the one hand, it was nice to be liked and accepted by so many. On the other hand, I just don't swing that way.

to be continued ...

a/n: see, it wasn't that bad ... and Hal has no visible scaring.

thanks as always for reading and reviewing ... Alf