The standard disclaimers all apply ... and Hal will actually come out the other side just fine, I promise.

The Ultimate Debate 08
by Alfonsina

After I got my paper from Gina, I stuffed it into my pocked with mixed emotions. I was never this popular in high school and I don't do that well with women. This just isn't fair, you know?

Lester and Brett took up residency at a corner booth while I was talking to Gina. I wandered to the bar to see if they had a menu of any kind for snacks. My blood sugar was falling and I really needed something, anything, to eat. I ordered a couple big baskets of chicken fingers, fries, and some deep fried veggies. What? I normally have a salad at night, just because they have breading and oil doesn't mean they are no longer veggies, does it?

"I got us some food," I said when I made it to the table.

"Man, did you forget the beer?" Lester asked.

Actually, I didn't forget the beer. I just always wind up paying for everything all the time with Brett, I figured Lester could pony up a little while he was here.

"Bar's that way, man," I said indicating that he could buy drinks for all of us.

Lester race-walked back to the table with a pitcher of beer and the a stack of paper cups. He had a tall, slender, elegant man on his heels. He looked like he had been a male model back in the day. He dripped of class and money, he was way out of Lester's league. You know what I mean.

"Help me," he hissed at me.

"Help you how?"

"This guy won't leave me alone," he continued in a lowish and unhappy voice.

Lester deposited the pitcher, now missing several ounces of amber fluid, and cups on the table. He turned his head and snapped, "Shove over Hal. And no. I don't want to dance."

I hadn't really noticed that the lights had dimmed and Michael Buble's Everything was playing in the background. I love that song, it makes me warm and fuzzy. Someday, I'll meet a girl and she'll be my Everything.

"Baby, you don't know what you're missing," he said.

"I said no. I don't like to dance, Kevin," Lester said.

Kevin, that's right. He was the model train guy. He bought a place in the country just for the barn so he could have a big enough set up for all of his trains. He'd offered me a chance to come play with them whenever I wanted. I hadn't thought about model trains in forever, I loved them when I was like eight. Wonder if I'd still enjoy them?

"That's not true, you and I go dancing all the time at home," Brett said.

I smiled, this was perfect. The karma gods were paying a little visit to Lester in the form of Brett. It was bliss to be on the right side of the conversation for a change.

"But I'll let you lead," Kevin said. "Or if you let me lead, I'll dip you if you want."

No way was Lester going to let anyone lead, ever. He liked to be in charge and he was losing his cool. This was just too much fun to watch.

"No."

"But, baby, you told me that you liked to experiment with everything. What harm's gonna come if you give me just one, little slow dance?"

Lester gave me the 'help me' look.

"I heard you, that's exactly what you said," Brett told us.

How much better was my evening going to get? This was perfect. I owed a debt of thanks to Brett. I don't think I've really smiled in weeks and now my cheeks hurt. If Lester stays with us for long I'm going to need to buy some Vaseline for my teeth like the beauty pageant contestants so I can keep the smile going all night if I have to.

Kevin looked at me, like I was in charge or something, and asked, "Can I join you?"

"Sure, no problem. We've got some food coming, you hungry?" I asked. I could afford to be the good host. The bar tab had been settled, no one was too forward on my 'dates', I'd apparently won the popularity contest, and no one was hitting on me. I slid further into the booth and now Lester was sandwiched between me and Kevin, he had no escape. I think I love Boston right now.

"Thanks," he said.

Lester still had a few manners and made a little room for him to join us.

~x~x~

"So," Kevin said stretching his arm over the back of the booth thereby trapping Lester. "How long are you going to be in town?"

"Only a couple of days," Lester said.

"What brought you to our fair city?" he asked.

"Just work."

"Do you come here often? For work I mean, because, believe me I'd remember if I'd ever met you before."

"No. I tend to stay close to home."

"But you go to Mexico every spring," Brett said. "We had a great time when we went two years ago."

Kevin looked at Brett, "Really?"

"Yeah. Because we were partners, it was easier to plan vacations that way. You know, less hassle at work."

"But you aren't partners now?"

"Nah. I'm partners with Hal now."

Ok. The karma fairy was back in my life again and she was doing me proud.

"And how long have you two been partners?"

"Around a year," Brett said.

The baskets of tranquilizers were delivered and there was more than enough to share. So maybe no one else sees chicken fingers and ranch dressing as having a calming effect, I paid for it so I am entitled to believe in the soothing power of the deep fat fryer. I was about to dig in when Larry came over.

"Can I ask you something, Hal?" Larry asked.

"Sure."

"In private."

"No problem."

Brett scooted over so I could get out of the booth. I followed Larry to a quiet corner.

"I'm sorry about my cousin," he said. "I didn't know that Kevin would come on so strongly to your friend."

"Not a problem, Lester's a big boy."

"I just don't want things to be uncomfortable for him at the house. Your friend, not Kevin. Kevin is family and I don't care if I make him miserable."

Oh really? He's staying at the house with all of us? Wonderful.

"I didn't even know Lester was coming. Do you have a spare room you can put him in?"

"Kevin got the last room. They could share, if they both want that."

No way was Lester going to want that, but I was going to make it an offer he didn't think he could refuse.

"Which room?"

"Austin Powers."

That would be just too perfect. I really wanted to do it to Lester, metaphorically speaking, but the fallout could last for years if I didn't do this right.

"Can he stay with us for a couple of nights?"

I couldn't believe I was volunteering, but there it was. Three straight men all sleeping one bedroom with one bed.

"Yeah. I even have an air mattress I can lend you while he's here."

Why didn't I think about that eight days ago? I could have gotten one and had my own sleeping space.

"Thanks."

I walked back to the table and sat next to Brett.

"I saved you some food," he said. "But you really need to hit the gym harder. This stuff is really bad for your heart."

Thanks for the reminder. It wasn't chocolate and it wasn't something I did all of the time.

Lester started to laugh.

"What's so funny Santos?"

"Nothing. I just like watching partners look out for each other."

The hand that had been on Lester's shoulder was now on his neck playing with the hair at his collar. Lester tried to flick it away, it didn't leave.

"I hate not knowing anyone in a strange city. I'd hate for you to be lonely tonight."

Lester tried to shoot him a discouraging look; it didn't work.

"I'm not going to be lonely, I'm with them."

"But they are old marrieds, boring," Kevin said in a husky voice. "And baby, you look like you could never be boring."

I resent that, I may be boring but I am definitely not married. I was going to open my mouth to speak when Brett handed me a napkin to indicate I had crumbs around my mouth.

~x~x~

Larry and Darryl stopped by the table on their way out.

"Kevin, you ready to go?" Darryl asked. "Or are you going home with them?"

Kevin's face lit up like a kid who'd been told he could have any toy in the store.

"Really?" he gushed. "You're staying with them?"

I nodded.

"And you?" he asked Lester.

"I'm with them," he said indicating Brett and me. "I go where they go, at least for a couple of days."

"I can take you back later, we could explore some of the city's wildlife tonight."

"Got to be at work at," Lester looked at me, "what time?" He mouthed the words 'please say early, please?' my direction.

"Seven a.m. shift. Since Brett's been watching my weight, I was going to go in even earlier to work out."

Lester mouthed 'thank you'.

"Can I come and watch?" Kevin asked.

Lester shook his head violently, no.

"No. We work and work out in a secure building," Brett said. "If you belong to a local gym, maybe we can get guest passes there and all go together."

Lester turned three shades of pale and looked like he was about to cry.

~x~x~

I woke up in the middle of the night feeling warmer than usual. Brett doesn't put off that much body heat, and I've adjusted to what he does generate. That was both the good news and the bad news.

I felt around the bed to see just how many blankets were on it. Instead I discovered the source of the problem, it was Lester. Somehow a bed that normally slept one comfortably, was passable for two, now accommodated three. Exactly when he had joined us was uncertain.

There was no easy way to extricate myself from the tangle in the bed, so I decided that shoving was a good choice. One gentle shove on Lester did nothing except produce, "Baby, don't be that way. We can do it again in a few minutes."

"Lester."

"It's too early, baby, really. I'll make it up to you soon, promise."

"Lester, man, what are you doing here?"

I shoved him again, but he caught my hand and tried to lead it to his groin. I resisted.

"Honey, you really need to start to get a manicure, you've got a lot of calluses for a woman. You're strong, too. I like strong women."

"Lester, let go. It's Hal."

Lester's eyes flew open and he fell off the bed.

"What the f-" he started.

"What were you doing in my bed?" I asked.

"Our bed, Hal. We share, so it's ours. Go back to sleep, princess," Brett said.

"There was a hole in the air mattress. It leaked all its air at about two thirty, and you two were snuggled in together pretty good. I didn't think you'd mind."

"Think again," I said.

"But I get cold easily," Lester said as he crawled back into the bed.

"Fine. I'll take the floor."

I pulled the pillow out from under Lester's head and took the blanket from him, too.

"If you want to get warm, I'd recommend you cuddle with Brett."

I moved some cushions around on the floor and dozed fitfully for the next couple of hours.

~x~x~

The over breakfast, Lester said, "You two really are the old married couple aren't you? And grumpy when you don't sleep together."

"I'm not now and never have been a morning person, Les. What are you going on about, Lester?" I asked.

"It's precious, you two haven't lived together two full weeks and you already have the whole domestic scene down pat. Including the snuggling and the pet names. Got to love Princess."

Brett chose this moment to wake up, "It's a reference to the Princess and the Pea. He did you a favor getting on the floor last night. You should have stayed on the floor. You weren't invited to join us in bed. As to having a routine, everything is easier if you have a routine. We've found what works for us and you should respect that."

"Please Brett, you were ironing his uniform while he was in the shower."

Brett has a thing for sharp, crisp pleats; he irons like a dream. Probably a skill he developed when working for a dry cleaners when he was in high school.

"So?" Brett asked.

"So? He read out loud to you last night."

Yeah, actually I did. Turned out that we both like Tony Hillerman books and I brought the Blessing Way with me. We both wanted to read it, so instead of taking turns with the book, I'd been reading a chapter per night to him before we cut the lights. I'd let Brett take a chapter one night, but he kept inversing words when he was tired; easier when I read it.

"Your point?" Brett asked sounding a little snippy.

"Just a little chummy for my tastes," Lester said with a smile. "And playing music all night so you can sleep? And it's the soundtrack to Somewhere in Time?"

"It drowns out his snoring," Brett said. "You try sleeping with him and see if you don't want something to block the noise."

Gee, Brett, you sure know how to make a guy feel special.

"Lester, you only have another couple of nights before you get to go home. The text I got this morning from Tank said we needed to plan at least two more weeks here."

"I can't wait until the guys back home hear about all of this," Lester said.

"I'll call Tank and arrange for a weekend off and we'll just see how that goes over. I'll see if he can't arrange for you to take over."

"Gonna tattle tell on me, boy?" Lester asked.

"Hey, we don't get but one day off a week while we are here. And from what I understand from George's last text, this place has worked a special rate for us. You'll be bunking here for as long as you are working from the Boston office."

"Crap."

"I'll call him now about the transfer," I said patting my pocket down for my phone. I couldn't find it, so Brett handed me his.

Lester pulled the phone out of my hand and said, "NO, I can't get transferred here. It just won't work with my image."

"Why not Les? They haven't had a distraction yet and there've been no bad takedowns. They figure the out of towners are best served doing monitor duty."

Monitor duty cramped Lester's style, he preferred being out and about.

Just then Kevin made it down the stairs and joined us at the table.

"Morning guys," he said. "Baby, how you doing this morning? I heard you had a rough night."

Lester said, "Exactly how did you hear that?"

"I heard the commotion and angry voices in the middle of the night. I'm more than willing to keep you warm. You wouldn't regret it."

So maybe there was an upside to this morning, I smiled and thought about how much fun this conversation could be later.

"Nah, I'll sleep with Brett and Hal can sleep on the floor."

"Excuse me? No. You are the odd man out, Lester," I said. "I'll lend you some extra sweats if you want them and spare socks. But you aren't getting back into bed with me."

Lester began doing an impression of a fish. I've never stood up to Lester, not really. He was used to using his charm to get what he wants.

"Or you could sleep next to me, I'll keep you warm," Kevin said playing with Lester's collar.

"I have to go home soon," Lester said. "Don't I Hal?"

"I'll take whatever time with you I can get, baby, and you'll remember it for a long, long, long time," Kevin said.

Eww.

"You know, Lester, I was going to go home for the weekend. I'm sure you wouldn't mind covering my shifts," I said. "You can stay with Brett."

"I don't want to sleep with him anymore, he hogs all the blankets and his feet are like icicles," Brett said. "Plus he talks in his sleep."

I never really thought of Brett as a fairy, but he must be the karma fairy. I love the karma fairy, you know?

"I lived in Canada, I like cold things and I like making them hot," Kevin said before he took a sip of his coffee.

A/N: Lester won't have too many scars and Hal needed a little bit of a break.

thanks as always for reading and reviewing! Alf