The standard disclaimers apply, nothing ventured and nothing gained. Really (darn the luck).

The Ultimate Debate 09
by Alfonsina

Lester hid at the Rangeman office and didn't want to go home after his double shift was over. He kept saying things like he'd sleep in the control room or in the garage. He didn't want to spend any more time with me or Brett; he called us freaks. If he'd called us anything stronger than that I would have taken serious offense.

Kevin was looking for Lester from the moment I hit the door after I got back from the sporting goods store.

"When's he coming back? I'll pick him up if he needs a ride, please?" Kevin begged.

I was tired and cranky, I needed some time alone. Why not?

"Tell you what, Kevin. If he doesn't call before I'm ready to turn in for the night, I'll ask you to get him."

You'd have thought that I gave Kevin a birthday present he smiled so big. Then again, maybe I did.

~x~x~

It was almost eleven when Lester finally called. He sounded exhausted and frazzled.

"Didn't pick anyone up at the bar tonight?"

"Nah, no one wanted to go with me. Guess they don't want to lose their monopoly on the local talent," he said.

"Where are you now, Lester?"

"The lobby of the office. You can get me a ride, right?"

"Sure, no problem. Your ride will be there in twenty minutes or so. Be outside the building though. There's been sleet tonight and I don't want any car trouble."

"Sure, man, I'll be outside. Thanks."

I hung up the phone and went to Kevin's room.

"You really wanted to give Lester a ride tonight? I'm beat."

"Yeah, I'd love to. Give me twenty minutes to clean up."

"Can't do it. I already told him someone would be there for him in twenty."

"But I smell awful and I don't have an outfit picked out."

"I'll ask Brett to do it."

While we were talking, Kevin was going through his closet and pulled out a new outfit and a bottle of cologne.

"Not even five minutes for a shower?"

"You really are trying too hard, it's just Lester."

"Ok, I can change now, really fast and I'll gargle. I'll put on the cologne in the car."

"Take my vehicle," I said as I handed him my keys.

~x~x~

Brett was getting out of the shower when I got back to the room.

"Hey, are we waiting up all night for Lester? I don't want to blow up his bed until he's here. I don't want to short change my workout."

I'd bought a larger blow up mattress at the sporting goods store on the way home. It was a double, so Lester could at least roll onto his side if he needed the room.

"Kevin is going to get him. You've probably got at least forty or forty-five minutes before he gets back."

"Cool."

"Hey, Brett, I know I've never said anything before," I started to say.

"What?"

"Can you at least wear your clothes while you do your stretching as long as Lester's here? He's been really uncomfortable and I don't want to make it worse for him."

"But," Brett said.

"Please? I'll read you two chapters tonight and I'll let you control the electric blanket."

"Done."

~x~x~

To say that Lester was unhappy would be an understatement. He was about ready to kill me by the time he got back to the room.

"What did you do, Hal? More importantly, why did you do it?"

The thing about Lester is that he's kind of a Tom Sawyer type, you know, "Look at how much fun I'm having all by myself painting this fence. Too bad you don't want to have any fun." I'd been his partner the better part of three years and painted my fair share of fence posts while he sat in the shade drinking lemonade. This situation was working out very nicely for me. Very nicely indeed.

"What's the matter, Les?" Brett asked as he tucked his legs into a very neat lotus position.

"Kevin has been hitting on me."

You just now noticed? Jeesh you're slow on the uptake there, Lester.

"So. Are you prejudiced or something? Maybe he just flirts with everyone."

"Do you think he offers to show everyone his vasectomy scar?"

Probably not. Wonder how big those scars are? I've thought about doing it after I've been married and had three or so kids, but since there's no woman in the offing, there's no real reason to think about it, not really.

"Did you look?" Brett asked.

"What kind of a guy do you think I am?" Lester asked.

I could hear the hysteria level in Lester's voice was raising, wonder how long it will take him to have a melt down? Wonder how many firetrucks it will take to hose him down in case he spontaneously combusts?

"I always thought that you were pretty open minded, actually. You always stress being open minded to your own dates, so I thought you were open minded, too."

Nicely played, Brett. If I could have gotten away with doing a golf clap, I would have.

"Brett, you need to finish up so we can blow up Lester's bed," I said.

"I'm not sleeping on another air mattress," Lester said.

"The way I see it, you've got three choices. You can sleep on the floor, on the air mattress or in Kevin's room."

Lester looked like I just shot his dog. "No, I can't sleep there," he said in a hushed tone. "He might try something more than he tried in the car."

"Want to share?"

"No," Lester said with a pout.

"Ok, two choices, the floor or the air mattress."

"I want to sleep with Brett."

"Sure, I'll take the air mattress," I said.

"No. No way. I'm not sleeping with Lester. He was blowing in my ear this morning and making rude suggestions."

"Fine, we'll draw straws," I said. "But come on, guys, I'm tired and not in the mood for any more games."

"No. We already agreed that I get to control the electric blanket with you. I'm not taking a chance on Lester and I don't like sleeping that low to the ground," Brett said.

Lester heaved a sigh, looks like the sweet innocent determined sleeping order. Who would have thought?

~x~x~

According to my watch, it was 3:47 when Lester rejoined us in bed.

I didn't care why he was cuddled into me or how long he'd been there. He was snoring directly into my ear, leg draped over my hip, and his hand draped across my chest. It really bothered me when his fingers found and pinched my nipples.

"That's it. I've been nice and I've gone out of my way to accommodate you," I said quietly to my newest bed partner.

I took matters into my own hands, literally. I crawled out of the bed and picked up Lester. I carried him next door to Kevin's room. Kevin answered immediately upon hearing my knock.

"Kevin, were you serious about sharing your bed with Lester?" I asked as quietly as I could.

He didn't answer he just started nodding his head up and down.

"Where do you want him?" I asked.

The power of speech was still alluding Kevin, he just pointed to the bed; the round bed, the one that had the mirror above it.

"I warn you he snores, gets handsy and he drools," I said while I deposited Lester onto the bed.

"What time do I have to give him back?"

"Around 7:30, unless you need to get up earlier," I said.

"Nope. I'll be up long before 7:30."

"Can I ask for a favor?"

"Anything you want, pumpkin. How can I make your life better?"

"Can I get a picture of you two on the bed together, cuddling?"

"Only if I get a copy of the picture."

Perfect.

"Be right back."

I left to my room and got my camera phone and Brett's. I had no intention of telling Brett about the picture stored there, it was for backup. I think about four of the six shots turned out alright; one of them would have been suitable for framing.

When I checked the pictures later, I realized that not only did Lester have on no shirt, he no longer had on his pants, and he'd been commando.

~x~x~

Lester pounded on the door at 6:15, repeatedly.

"Open up, you mothers," he snarled at the door. "If you don't open up, I'll break your door down."

Brett staggered from the bed, opened the door, returned to bed and stuck his head under a pillow.

"Good morning to you, too, sunshine," I said. I was a little sleep deprived, but was feeling much better having gotten a little of my own back.

"That was a low blow last night," he said.

Yeah, it was. I'll admit it and take full ownership of it.

"You got back into bed with us again. You knew there would be consequences."

"You went above and beyond, man."

True.

"The last thing I remember was having a really intense dream about a brunette with short, spiky hair, a big girl, but she smelled like lavender. Next thing I know, I wake up SOMEWHERE else in a room I've never seen before."

I've got to stop using the body lotion Larry provided and go back to Vaseline Intensive, didn't realize I was smelling like lavender. I just hate it when my skin gets so dry in the middle of winter, you know?

"That's not atypical for you, dude," Brett mumbled. "I've known you to sleep in as many as six beds in one week."

"Yeah, but I've never slept with strange men before," Lester said.

"What do you call boot camp?"

"That's not the same and you know it. There's no way I'm going to be able to do PT today. I'm not changing clothes in front of anyone."

"Got cramps?" I asked. "Or are you just feeling bloated and fat?"

Funny, I no longer craved chocolate or fried foods. In the two days that Lester has been with us, all of the food as medication has ended. I've also felt an overwhelming need to work on my abs and lift weights.

"Hickeys," he said quietly.

"Speak up please," I said.

He didn't say another word, he lowered his pants.

"Can't keep it in your pants, Lester?" Brett said. "Typical male."

"It's not that. I had to fight to get my pants back. When I started to struggle, he wanted to play 'WWF' or something like that. That's beside the point. He left hickeys on my thighs and the lower part of my stomach before I was completely awake."

Kevin took that moment to knock on the door.

I left the bed and Lester dove into my side, lifting the sheet up to his chin.

"Lover, you forgot your boxers," Kevin said holding the fabric by the elastic waistband.

"I don't wear boxers," Lester said trying to hide from behind Brett.

"My bad, sorry baby."

"Hey, Kevin, I wanted you to know that tonight's Lester's last night with us. He's going to go back to Trenton tomorrow," I said.

"Oh, that's a shame."

"Anyway, I was thinking it might be nice if we got together tonight for some kind of a group activity," I said.

"Ooooh, I like how you think. How much lotion are we going to need, or will we need costumes?"

"Neither. I was thinking we could do something to use up some energy," I said.

"My questions still apply," he said with a wink.

"I was thinking either pool or bowling tonight. Just the four of us," I said.

"Pool, please?" Brett begged. "I love playing pool. I even brought my own stick."

"Any sport with balls, works just fine for me. Hard balls and a long stick, sounds perfect," Kevin said.

A/N: Lester's scars won't last too long ... besides, it was fun to have someone hit on the pick up artist.

thanks as always for reading and reviewing! alf