Disclaimer, same as before. Not making a dime, but having an incredibly good time with the boys.

The Ultimate Debate 12
What's the Worst Thing that Could Happen? Part 2
by Alfonsina

We were perusing the breakfast menu when I asked Brett if we needed to spend more time with his granny before we headed to Boston.

"Not if we can swing back and see her on the way home."

Why not?

"Sure. Didn't you want to talk about relationships last night?"

"Kind of, but I think I want to talk to Larry about them first."

"I don't think he can give you dating advice. Things going okay with Kathy, aren't they?"

"Sort of, she just doesn't understand big parts of me," he said turning the page.

I could understand that, it takes a big investment of time to really understand someone.

"Well, if you want to talk, let me know. Do you think they've got herbal tea?" I asked.

"Sure, they had a display at the hostess station. Hey, don't you really want to try the Belgian waffles with the strawberry filling and whipped cream?"

Yes, I did. But I really preferred how my pants fit right now, they were really comfortable.

"I think I'll stick to an egg-white omelet with veggies."

"Do you want to split one dessert kind of a thing?"

When Brett starts offering sugared things he usually wants something. It didn't look like chocolate was going to be an issue, so far, so good.

"But this is vacation."

"Order what you want," I said.

He ordered the farm hand special: three eggs, ham, bacon, pan-fried potatoes, and pan cakes.

"Usually you just do coffee and a muffin. Something is really bothering you, isn't it?"

"Not now, Hal. I really want to talk to Larry first."

That didn't sound good.

"Once we get settled, do you have anything in particular you want to do today?" I asked.

"Depends on how the talk with Larry goes. Darryl wanted to know if you'd help him decorate the backyard."

Why not? It's small and shouldn't take too long.

~x~x~

Our arrival at the bed and breakfast was akin to a welcome to the conquering heroes or the prodigal sons. Larry and Darryl embraced each of us and looked incredibly happy; probably about their upcoming ceremony.

"Let me look at you," Larry said to me. "Turn for me."

Great I was now eight years old standing in front of my great-aunt Sophie, spinning to show her just how much I'd grown in the last year.

"You look amazing," Darryl breathed.

"What about me?" Brett said.

"Sugar, you were perfect before. But he's really gotten tight," Larry said.

Thanks so much, ladies.

I had assumed we'd each get our own room this time around, but they'd assumed since we were coming 'together' that we'd want to share again. Of course we would. Right.

Well, what's the worst thing that could happen? It isn't like I haven't slept with Brett in the past, what's another couple of days.

"We've put you back in the biggest room again."

"The one that has the Somewhere in Time theme?" Brett gushed, "That's my favorite."

"Of course it is, sweetie. Your Auntie Larry wouldn't dream of disappointing you."

Eww.

"Hey, Larry, once we've unpacked, can we talk?" Brett asked. "Hal has volunteered to help Darryl with the decorations."

Yes, Hal has 'volunteered' again. No problem.

"Sure thing, pumpkin. Come down when you're ready. I've baked your favorite cookies and we'll have some tea and talk like old women."

~x~x~

Darryl and I did a general tidy of the yard, weeded the flower beds and organized a little area for the minister or whoever the officiate was going to be.

Yard work is the biggest trade off opposed to an apartment. Apartments don't require the work of a house; no yard to do, no roof to fix, most of the maintenance is done by someone else, and no privacy. Houses can be great, privacy and the ability to control your own environment, but the responsibility is so much more.

Darryl wanted to move the speakers from the stereo outside to provide music for the occasion. He had several classical CDs to choose from but the one he really liked was Baroque for Brides to be a Musical Bouquet for Your Wedding Day. Darryl loved it and had been playing it all month; Larry wanted something else, anything else. In the end Darryl got what he wanted for music because Larry got to choose the flowers: white tulips and orangish/pinkish roses.

I hung the speakers to the porch, moved speaker wire and hid it. I used to set up stereos as a teenager to make extra money. When my sister and her friends went to college, I'd go up after they moved and wired their dorm rooms or apartments. I usually only made enough money to cover the gas, but I could brag that I'd been alone with a girl in her dorm. It was a lot of street cred for a sixteen year old who'd never had the courage to ask a girl on a date.

About lunch time, Larry and Brett came out of the house bringing a tray of lemonade and glasses and a pile of turkey salad sandwiches.

"Is there anything else we can do to help you get ready for tomorrow?" Brett asked between mouthfuls.

"If you are willing to run our errands, I'd be ever so grateful," Darryl said patting Brett's hand. "There's the baker, the florist and the drycleaner. And …"

"Sweetling, you are going to overburden our guests," Larry said.

"But they offered," Darryl said. "It was a real offer, wasn't it?"

Brett nodded.

"You know, we are so relieved that you two have mended your fences," Larry said.

I just smiled, it was easier. It wasn't that they were broken, but a small space in a fishbowl just doesn't work for me long term.

After we cleared the lunch debris, Brett gave Larry a look. Larry dragged Darryl into the house ostensibly so we could be alone.

Don't get me wrong, I have no problem being alone with Brett, but I wasn't really loving the vibes he was putting off right about now.

"Hal, I need to ask you something."

"Shoot."

"This is awkward," he said. "I don't know how to say it."

"Just spit it out. I'm sure it isn't all that bad."

"Okay, but remember that you said it."

He stood from the table, walked around the yard a couple of times, and finally circled back.

"It's about my grandmother."

Oh G. Yep, capital G.

"She and I had a really serious talk yesterday. And she told me what would make her happy before she dies."

"You don't know that she's going to die. Doctors are wrong all of the time. That's why everyone says doctors practice medicine."

"Yeah, but still."

"Sorry, I interrupted you. You and your grandmother talked about what would make her really happy. Go on."

"She wants to see me married."

"Are you ready to propose to Kathy? I didn't think you were serious about her."

"I am and I'm not. I mean, I could probably propose, but it just doesn't feel right."

"Do you have a runner up?"

As soon as the words left my mouth, I realized what was going to come out.

K L M N O P Q R S

"Yeah, kind of."

T U V W X Y Z AA BB CC DD

Breathe, Hal. Breathe. It will all be fine. I'm sure he's not going to say what you think he's going to say.

"Hal, will you help me make my grandmother happy and go through a commitment ceremony with me?"

"Uh, no. I'm not that kind of a guy. I don't want to deceive your grandmother."

"She already thinks you are my partner and you and I would know that nothing would change. We'd still be friends after it's all over."

I took a deep breath, tried to calm myself, put my head on the table and tried not to come unglued.

"What's the worst thing that could happen? It'd just be on paper and it isn't like we'd file the license or anything. It's only fifty bucks in Boston to make an old lady happy."

I opened my eyes after I blew out a deep breath.

Fine. Sure. Why not? What's the worst thing that could happen?

"How is she going to know that you've actually done it?"

"Easy, we can have it broadcast on the web. We could even do a You Tube video of it as a joke."

"I hate cameras. Couldn't we just do it in her hospital room?"

"She's in the wrong state. The only state that honors same sex marriage is Massachusetts, so we've got to do it here."

Ducky. Just ducky.

"Larry and Darryl will even let us do it here. They've offered to postpone their own service so we can use their minister and their time slot. Please?" he begged.

Begging is better than whining, I guess.

"Isn't there a waiting period?" I asked hoping to get time on my side.

"There's a three day wait normally, but we can get it waived if we go before a judge. We can tell the truth that time isn't something Grandma has a lot of and she really wants this to happen."

No. No way. If I had three days I could talk him out of this, now I was looking at a runaway train with no way to get off of the tracks.

I hung my head and said, "Sure. If it will make your grandmother happy, I'll do it. But we can't tell anyone."

"Ooh, there's a problem with that. I've already called Lester to get him to come and do the computer hookups for the broadcast."

Oh God. He may as well have told the entire world. So now it won't be a secret back at the office. F. Well, we've lived down worse and the assumption that we were a couple before, we'll just live this down after it's all said and done.

"And," he said excitedly, "Kevin is a jeweler and he's going to give us a great price on rings."

Rings?Rings? I don't want a ring. No way, no how. I'm not going to wear a wedding ring for a few days to further the sham of a paper marriage.

"I take it Kevin is coming?"

"Yeah, he was really excited that Lester's gonna be here."

Okay, so now I have the silver lining to my dark cloud. I won't be alone in my sufferings.

~x~x~

It turned out that all of the errands we were going to run for Larry and Darryl were the errands that we needed to run for ourselves, plus one. You know, the one where we go to a courthouse and fill in the paperwork.

After we obtained the license from the clerk, Brett was so excited he tried to hug me.

"Not in public, man," I said.

"Oh, yeah. Not in public," Brett said. "I can't believe I'm getting married!"

"You are just a little too excited about this Brett."

"No, now I know that my grandmother can rest in peace. She likes you, she approved of you, and she thinks you're a good influence."

"You already told her?"

"Yeah. I wanted to make sure she approved before I talked to Larry about it."

He could talk to Larry first and then me? Isn't that backwards?

"I talked to Larry first to see if he'd let us use his garden. I wanted to know if he was open to a double wedding. Larry wanted it so much that he gave up his special day."

Where is there a rock I can hide under? Is there a rock big enough for me to hide under?

"Brett?"

"Yeah?"

"Before we go back to the house, I need to stop and get a frozen Snickers bar."

"Are you sure you really want a frozen Snickers? I mean, you've been so good lately watching your sugars and your carbs."

"It isn't optional. In fact, I'm probably going to buy a case of candy bars and you can just deal with it."

I didn't bother to look to see if he pouted or not; I need medication and quickly.

A/N Hal has really been too kind to Brett in all of this ... and the worst is yet to come, kind of.

thanks as always for reading and reviewing!