Disclaimers: No one got hurt, no profit was made, all the toys have been put back in JE's toy box. I just hope she didn't find out.

A/N: I'd like to thank all of the plot bunnies for helping with brainstorming this little baby and helping me answer the question, What's the worst thing that could happen. Bluzkat, Cat, Deb B, Deb WSF, Katbaby, Katie, Letha, Melody, Nicole, Robin, Tiina, Tuck: ladies please take a bow. I'll be buying the jello shots later, there's a special on the cherry flavored ones tonight. Cabana boys have been provided to drive you home as our way of saying thanks.

The Ultimate Debate 16
by Alfonsina

"I can't believe you'd cheat on me."

"I didn't cheat on you," I said calmly. I'd left my shadow at home for the day and went to the beach to have some quality alone time. I got home later than I expected, but I hadn't felt this relaxed in a long, long time."

"You took off your wedding ring so you could get a date with a woman," he snarked.

"Yes, I took the ring off. It was cutting off circulation to my finger. And yes, I have a date with a woman after our divorce is finalized."

"But I don't want a divorce. I want to be married."

"Brett, don't you want to be married to a woman? Don't you want to have kids some day? Don't you ever want to have sex again?" I wasn't sure if he could hear me. Brett does denial better than Stephanie ever could.

"But the guys just threw us greatest wedding reception ever. Everybody had a great time. Plus we got some killer presents."

"We don't need five crock pots, a pair of matching iPods, matching fluffy robes, or a romantic dinner for two at Chateau Way Too Expensive," I said. "The presents all have to go back."

I want to be reasonable. I want to be calm. I want to be cool. I want to be collected. I want to be with a woman and I can't as long as I'm married to Brett.

"And they remodeled our apartment and are going to help us relocate to Boston if we want that." It was obvious, he didn't hear a word I said.

But Brett was right. Our individual apartments were combined while we were gone; the conversion to one large living space hadn't been completed. Stephanie's uncle Sid was the contractor who did the initial work and Ella arranged to have the man cave outfitted and the bed changed. I never did find out whose brainchild the remodel was, not that it mattered.

Ranger took the entire thing seriously. He had actually been very kind about offering us the transfer to Boston since we might fit in better there than in Trenton. He wanted us to live and work where we'd be accepted and happy. We could stay in Trenton if we wanted and we could stay in our apartment if we chose.

He did say that if we decided to adopt children, we'd need to move out of the building. Children, no matter how well behaved, can be very distracting; j k l m n so can Brett.

"Brett, you know we aren't in love don't you?"

"Well…"

Oh God, here it comes.

"That's not entirely true."

Breathe, Hal, breathe. You've been through worse. You had to pick up Stephanie's grandmother once from her belly dancing class when she was in her costume and kept trying to impress you with her belly rolls.

"Use small words and tell me exactly what you mean by that, Brett."

"Okay. You are my best friend."

I nodded, I was also pretty much his only friend some days.

"We like a lot of the same things."

Again this was true.

"We aren't bored when we are alone together."

He wasn't bored, he was usually the one conducting the conversation. I did start to listen to him and he did have some insights.

"You like me even though I get on your nerves."

He was breaking my heart at this point.

"Brett…"

"I know it isn't what you want, but the time I've spent with you has been the happiest of my life. I don't think I'll ever be this happy with anyone else, ever. The way we've been together has been better and more stable than I've ever had with a woman. Ever."

He sniffled. I handed him a tissue.

"Don't. I know when I'm not wanted," he said. "I just thought you were as happy as I was."

"It's not like that. I do like you and I have a good time with you," I said quietly. "I just want to be in love with a woman. I'd also like to be able to have sex with a woman and have kids with her one day. It doesn't mean that I won't have fond feelings for you."

"Really?" he asked sniffing again.

"Really."

"What if we could find a woman who would accept us both? We could stay married and she could live with us. We could share her."

"Ah, no. Usually if it's polygamy there is one man and multiple wives or sometimes one woman with several husbands. Usually there aren't two husbands and one wife, you know what I mean."

"But."

"I think you are confusing acceptance with love. You deserve real love. Besides, no matter how long we stay married, I'm not having sex with you."

"Never? I mean, I'd be open to trying. We might both really like it."

"There are some things in my life I'm pretty closed off about. Sex is one of those things."

"What if we had a woman with us the first time?" he asked sounding a little too hopeful.

"I don't think so. I don't share well. If you think I get territorial over a plate of brownies, that's nothing compared to how I get when a woman is involved."

"Oh. Yeah, I remember. You almost bit my hand when I tried to swipe some crumbs off your plate. And you were really ugly when I tried to get a bite of your strawberry shortcake."

"Yeah. I think you're a creative thinker though."

"There is some good news," he said.

"Lay it on me."

"My grandmother is getting well. They think she'll make a full recovery."

"That's fabulous."

"Yeah, but they think it was because she held out hope because I was in a stable relationship. The day we got married, she turned a corner and has made incredible progress ever since."

"Tell you what, we'll put some effort into finding you a really nice girl. One that can be your whole world, one who can really and truly complete you."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Besides, there are a lot of women out there who think that if you're gay you're a bigger challenge and they work really hard to convert you."

"Cool. I could be converted."

"You never changed religions."

"You know what I mean."

"Let's go to bed. It's late and I'm tired."

"Do you think we can find a woman who likes Somewhere in Time?"

"Yeah, I think we probably can."

"I just don't want to be divorced. There's such a stigma with that, you know?" he said twisting the ring on his left hand.

"We could always have an annulment. Because on so many levels this marriage never did exist."

"No. I'd rather be divorced. I'm proud that I got to be married to a good and kind man. Not everyone is so lucky."

"Thanks Brett. That's a huge compliment. It's been eye opening to be married to you, too."

"Can we stay married a little longer? I know I need to disengage, but it's going to take me a while."

"No problem.

"Thanks. Hey, can we read Sahara by Clive Cussler next? I love the Dirk Pitt stories."

"No problem, buddy. I'll get it from the bookshelf while you're in the shower."

"Can you heat some water for hot chocolate, too?"

"No problem."

I'm really glad there was no debate about ending the marriage with Brett. He was actually handling things more calmly than I would have guessed. I think he's grown up some since this whole thing started.

~x~x~

Eighteen months later …

"Princess, do you want me to iron your shirt for you? I can't let you look slobby on our special day."

"Please. And since we haven't been married in over a year, can you quit calling me 'princess'?"

"Sure thing, pumpkin."

I shook my head, Brett loves terms of endearment and doesn't care who hears them. Someday, maybe, I'll adjust.

"Do you have everything you're going to need?" I asked repacking his luggage. I don't know how he can bring so much junk he doesn't need and forget the essentials all of the time.

"I'm good. Thanks for doing that," he said nodding to the bag on the bed. My own bag was already repacked and in the SUV down stairs.

"It's almost show time," I said. "You nervous?"

"Yeah, a lot more than last time. This time it's for the right reasons and it's real."

True. Very true.

We'd gone to Boston to see Larry and Darryl before we filed the formal divorce papers. We both felt that we owed them. They were both crushed that we weren't going to stay married and that we were going to start dating women. We were offered counseling, couple and individual, if we would just give it one more try. When that didn't work, they offered to help us meet men who would be better matches.

"No. I'm just not ready to date a man," I'd said with a smile. I don't think I'll ever want to date a man, but I now knew several matchmakers who were more than willing to help. "I don't think either of us are ready for that."

Because we had been open with them, Larry and Darryl offered us use of their home again for another wedding. A real one this time.

~x~x~

We headed down the stairs together, probably for the last time.

"Do you have your ring and your vows?" he asked.

"Yeah. You?"

"Yeah."

"You ready to do this thing?"

"I think so. I do love you, Hal."

"I love you too, Brett. Let's go get married."

We went to the front of the garden and stood in front of Kevin; he'd become a mail order minister just for us. He'd found a naughty boy of his own and was happy chasing Ernie and Ernie was happy getting caught.

Music came over the speakers, the theme from Somewhere in Time. Two visions in white came out of the house and down the little aisle. Kathy had forgiven Brett for having been conflicted about me; they'd gotten serious and decided it really was love. Mindy, the woman Brett accused me of cheating on him with, was doing the long walk for me.

Both women liked the idea of Brett and me using our original wedding rings. I think Mindy liked the fact that mine would get stuck and probably wouldn't come off again without surgical intervention. Kathy liked the fact that Brett's ring had a mate in a woman's setting; no point in spending more money than necessary.

"Dearly beloved…"

A/N: I hope you enjoyed the Ultimate Debate as much as I did. See, nobody wound up wtih visible scaring and Brett even grew up some during the process. In my mind there's nothing like a good old-fashioned HEA. thanks for reading and reviewing.... Alf.