Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
A/N: Thanks for the reviews: asdfjkl, Kal Key, AtlantisGirl12, Bebbe5, Nosterineth. Thank you for everyone keeping up with the story and are patient with my lack of updates. I am really sorry this was not up sooner, but I worked full time hours my entire Christmas Break and then I went back to school. It's been tough, but I hope to update more often, since I have no classes on Fridays. I am actually trying to write the beginnings of a novel for my honors project class which I needed a mentor for, and so my time may be consumed with that writing. But fear not, I will not leave you hang. Enjoy the next chapter. It's a bit longer than usual.
"How is he?" a gruff voice croaked, raw from hours of crying. Aragorn awoke early the next morning, sleeping restlessly throughout the night. He remembered little from the previous day except Legolas' short return to consciousness. His brothers told him that he had passed out due to exhaustion and stress and that the whole encounter was too much for his weakened body. Perhaps, it was true, but Aragorn believed that it was because he was afraid to face the truth. It was his fault, the blood of Legolas was on his hands, and no one could tell him otherwise.
Elladan and Elrohir did not know what to do. They were under strict orders to keep Aragorn within the walls of his own tent to keep him from becoming ill again. He seemed to be coughing more and talking less. With each hour, the man became more restless trying to escape the confines of his present prison. Fortunately for them, he had little strength to resist when he was forced to remain.
Elladan noticed the drastic change in his demeanor after that. Brooding was an understatement. Aragorn was completely and hopelessly lost in his own world of guilt and heartache. He watched as Elrohir tried to get the man to talk, even about the most trivial things, but the words never came. Responses were limited to nods and grunts. He sighed heavily and left the tent for the one person who could reach him in this state. Legolas would have been his first choice, but seeing his condition had improved little over the past twelve hours, Elrond would have to do.
Quietly the eldest twin entered Legolas' tent trying not to disturb the resting elf. Elrond looked up at his entrance, his eyes dark with weariness as the frown lines sunk deeper into his face. The elf lord had sacrificed so much to keep the young one alive that it seemed almost a sin to watch him suffer alone, staring off into space wondering if his healing gifts were good enough to save the ones he loved. Memories of his wife were no doubt tormenting his mind, but he never voiced his fears.
"What is it, Elladan?" Elrond asked almost immediately knowing that his human son was the most likely cause for the intrusion.
"It's Estel. He's fine," Elladan stated quickly hoping to ease his worried father. The tension slowly left the older elf's body, but he never fully relaxed. "His fever is still with him and he coughs terribly, but his overall condition is stable. It is not his physical afflictions that concern me, as I'm sure you can surmise." Elrond nodded his eyes trailing away to look at the still blonde elf. "He worries, ada. I fear he will make himself even more ill than he already is." Elrond closed his eyes at his son's words as they rang true within his own ears. Something needed to happen soon or the frail tether that kept Aragorn tied to reality was going to break sending him into a world of nightmares.
"I know, ion nin. By Illuvatar, I know," the weary elf responded, but Elladan pressed on.
"Something must be done. Perhaps we should head back to Rivendell within the next day or so. At least there, we may find some peace. There Legolas can heal, or if he chooses to make the journey…sail."
Elladan almost regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth, for even to him, the words struck him with overwhelming sadness. But deep in his soul, he felt it was time for all of them to face the truth. For the past few days, everyone danced around the idea of Legolas leaving, either by death or decision. Whenever the thought arose, it was immediately disregarded especially in front of Aragorn. It was time, now, to accept it. Voicing it aloud only made it more real and perhaps that's what both elves needed. Elrond was pressured enough trying to keep the young one alive and whole. Maybe it was time to consider that Legolas was beyond aid and needed something more…a more peaceful ending or a more hopeful existence.
"I'm sorry, ada, but—"
"No, ion nin," Elrond whispered softly a tear falling down his pale cheek. "You are right. Ignoring the possibilities only makes it harder in the end. Sailing may very well be the only option available. Your mother found solace in her final departure. Perhaps Legolas will too."
Never before had the strong, confident elf lord look so forlorn and heartbroken. Speaking of his departed wife was difficult for the memory left a scar more painful than any words of comfort could heal. He almost followed her that fateful day, but his commitments to his children and his race could not be ignored. Now he would probably lose a son and relive the trauma of trying to keep his family together.
Elladan moved and sat down next to his father, placing his head on the older elf's shoulder as though he were a child again. Elrond wrapped his arm around his back, leaned over, and kissed the top of his head.
"I love you, ion nin," he said softly. "We will get through this, if not for our sake, then for Legolas. He would want us to be happy."
"But, ada, do you think Estel could ever be happy again?"
Elrond could not answer him for there was no answer to be found.
Aragorn tossed and turned restlessly on his makeshift bed trying desperately to succumb to a dreamless sleep hoping to escape his terrible reality. The chances of him seeing Legolas were nonexistent thanks to the persistence of his brothers. Finally after what seemed like long, agonizing hours, his eyes closed and unconsciousness claimed him at last…
A layer of thin, white fog slowly drifted up from the ground at Aragorn's feet as he stood within the seclusion of a small clearing surrounded by a forest of large trees. His eyes slowly took in his surroundings as he turned his head in each direction, bewildered and fearful. Had he fallen into another one of his nightmares? He quickly closed his eyes silently praying for a reprieve from the images that haunted him so, but then something unexpected happened. There was no sound of raging orcs or unbearable screams that weighed guiltily on his conscious. Instead, he heard a soft set of footsteps, almost inaudible to the human ear, but he was used to them from growing up in a house full of elves.
Emerging from a break in the trees was Legolas, uninjured and as graceful as ever. A smile flashed across his face at his friend as he continued toward him. Aragorn could barely breathe at the sight. In seconds, he sprinted, closing the distance between them and found himself hugging the blonde elf securely to his chest, tears of joy falling down his face. Legolas laughed, the sound so familiar and heartwarming that Aragorn couldn't help but join him.
"I see my presence has been greatly missed." The words were music to the man's ears. Reluctantly, Aragorn pulled away and searched his friend's eyes, for what, he knew not.
"What is it, mellon nin?" Legolas asked prompting the man to speak. His words were so clear and distinct; it was as though he already knew what the other was thinking.
"I don't know, Legolas. It's just…You're here…and unharmed. Where are we?" Aragorn tried to explain but the answer would not easily come.
"This is your dream, Estel. I am always here."
"But this isn't real. The real Legolas is lying broken and beaten in a tent apart from mine due to my weaknesses. You sacrificed yourself for me…in more ways than one." Reality seemed to break through the happy fantasy.
"No, mellon nin, it was not because of weakness but loyalty and love," Legolas said placing both hands on the man's shoulders. "Your wellbeing was far more important than my own. You are Estel, hope of man, son of a loving father, brother to two immature elves, and companion and owner of half of my soul. A sacrifice it was, unselfish and understood, but you were worth it…you always will be."
Tears ran down Aragorn's face as he once again pulled the elf into a tight embrace. His heart was bursting with relief that his best friend did not blame him for the unfortunate circumstances that they found themselves in. He spent so many days, guilt weighing heavily on his shoulders that he thought that he would collapse under the pressure and succumbe to the dark abyss that beckoned. When his tears finally subsided, he pulled away embarrassed and wiped his face quickly.
"I'm sorry, mellon nin. It's just…I miss you and I want you to heal, but I fear your condition may be more than my father can handle. But you will get better, right?" Legolas for the first time, refused to meet his gaze.
"Estel," He began, his voice soft and slow, "I am not sure that I can." The last words were almost inaudible but the sharp gasp that came from Aragorn served as proof that he had heard him.
"No." Aragorn's voice broke.
"I am sorry, Estel, but not all wounds can heal. I may not have the strength to surpass the pain and memories that have been inflicted upon me. I can only promise that I'll try, but monstrous things were committed in the name of all that is evil, and it is not so easy to escape."
"No, Legolas," His voice grew stronger though it only lasted for a moment as his next words became rushed and frantic. "You will come back to me. You will get better and we will leave this behind us. I will not allow you to succumb to your despair. You have to live…I cannot bear it if…I cannot let you die for me!" His last words rang through the desolate forest, screaming through the silence. Legolas looked up and shook his head sadly.
"I would gladly die for you, Estel. There is no shame in admitting that or in accepting it."
"It sounds like you've already given up, mellon nin." Anger soon took over and Aragorn could not help but feel satisfied with this sudden change in emotion. For once he was not feeling overwhelming sorrow anymore. "So is this it then? You come to me in a dream because you are too cowardly to face me in life to tell me the truth." Legolas refused to let his friend's resentment disturb him because he knew it was his way of dealing with the circumstances.
"No, I am doing this to give you some peace." Aragorn snorted in response.
"That's it?" He yelled pulling away from his friend. "You thought this would give me peace? I have been torturing myself for days trying to find the strength within me to help you heal from this disaster. Do you know how hard it is to live up to your own name? To try and find that last sliver of hope that dangles just beyond your reach, taunting you with possibilities? All this time, I tried to bring myself to cope faster just so that I could help you, and you've already decided? How is that fair, Legolas? Huh? Tell me, how am I supposed to be calm and accept the fact that my best friend died because of me?!"
All the strength left Aragorn's body and he crumbled to the ground, his legs giving way. He sat on his knees, hunched over, breathing heavily. He was done. His spirit had finally broken. Everything that occurred within the last few days, hours, minutes, had finally taken their toll. He realized…there was nothing left. Legolas placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.
"Please, mellon nin, don't hate me for trying to be there for you. I know the pain that this will cause, but did you ever think…I might want to find peace as well?"
The man stopped breathing altogether for a moment as the words sank in. Legolas was probably the most unselfish creature in Middle Earth, and all Aragorn could think about was his own misery. Maybe Legolas would be happier if he finally let go. His heart broke to even think such a ludicrous thought, but there was truth in it. He nodded slowly in understanding and looked up with tear filled eyes. He opened his mouth to agree, but his throat ran dry and his voice betrayed him. No, he couldn't let him go that easily, not without a fight. He decided to plead once more. After all, he was already on his knees.
"Legolas, I beg you, fight this. Find the strength. We can overcome this, I know we can. We've been through so much together already. I understand that you are hurt, and I can give you a hundred reasons why you should take the peaceful road and escape the horrors of this world. I know what it's like, believe me. I cannot even give you one good reason to stay here because I know that pain and misery are inevitable…Stay anyway. Try at least…for me."
Aragorn found no more words to utter. That was all he had left. Legolas stared longingly at his friend; no reply was spoken. Instead the blonde elf squeezed his shoulder one last time, and walked away, back into the surrounding forest. Aragorn became panicked and rose unsteadily to his feet. He moved to chase him, but suddenly his surroundings became hazy as they quickly began to fade. He fell to the ground, the mist rising and covering his weary body…
Aragorn awoke with a start, breathing erratically still feeling the sensations of the dream. His mind could not decipher whether or not any of it was real. A sudden pain stabbed at his chest and he let out a heart wrenching howl that echoed through the entire camp. Perhaps, hope was finally lost.
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