"Cronus, far be it from me to trigger you by suggesting I know better than you what to do with your quadrants, but have you ever considered that you and Mituna might do better with an auspistice?"
Cronus scowled and lay back in the grass. "Vwhy? It's not my fault he's incapable of actin' like a normal person."
"'Normal' is a terribly judgmental term, and no it's not, but that doesn't mean your conflict doesn't need to be dealt with." Kankri's usual superior expression dissolved into thoughtfulness. "Yes, I think that may actually be a very good idea. Who could you ask, though? I know that (trigger warning: quadrant flipping) Latula and Kurloz are out, obviously, and I would suggest Meenah but honestly I don't think she's capable of doing anything but causing more conflict-"
"Vwhoa, hey, I'm not gonna ash-zone Meenah!" Cronus snapped, raising a hand. "Seriously, you think I vwant the svweetest piece a' tail in the bubbles in my conciliatory quadrants?"
"Those are important too! If you want two, why not the others?"
"Vwhy'd I vwanna bother vwith either of the loser quadrants? 'Snot like they're gonna get me pailed, not that you'd get that." Cronus smugly hooked his thumbs in his jacket lapels and posed. "Can't deny this to the public, ya knowv."
"Ah, Cronus, I hate to demand you comply to my conversational standards, but I'm feeling rather triggered," Kankri said, squirming where he sat.
"Awv, for fuck's sake, Vwantas, it's sex. Most people do it at some point and vwe'wve had like billions a' svweeps to catch up. You ain't got my disadvwantages, people like you! Porrim's all fuckin' ovwer you and I'd bet she'd beg to teach you a trick or tvwo, you'd prob'ly hawve a betta chance vwith Latula than me if her thing for dvweebs is any hint, you could build somefin black vwith Aranea goin' off her fetish for the regime, take off that svweater and Meenah might mistake you for your little clone..."
"Cronus!" Kankri's voice shut him up; Kankri actually sounded angry, for once. "I made a vow of celibacy, I intend to keep it, and it's my own business!"
"If your bulge is your owvn business, howv come my quadrants ain't mine?" Cronus shouted, leaping to his feet. "You're not my fuckin' moirail!"
He stalked away, heading for the lake's edge, muttering to himself "Sheesh, Kankri needs to get laid."