No changes to this chapter, aside from, yah know, putting it where itz suppose to go...
Look Me in the Eye When I Lie to You
With Damon looming protectively over me and Caroline impatiently trotting behind us, the hospital held only a fraction the terror it once possessed. Something continued to gnaw at the back of Damon's mind, but he kept it carefully suppressed. With my own reservations about the coming meeting, I found myself void of the will to dwell on it. The instant we turned down the final hall, Caroline took off with a delighted giggle.
"Caroline!" Bonnie's voice held such joy, she suddenly seemed an entirely separate entity from the witch who offered only cryptic warnings. Damon and I entered the room just as the blond vampire released her embrace. The instant I stepped into the room, the carefree happiness vanished and the witch instantly turned her attention to me.
"Thea." She breathed my name. "Something's different about you." Her brows drew together in consternation.
"Actually, that's why we're here." Caroline piped. "She did something weird to Tyler and thought you might know what it was." Bonnie didn't so much as glance at her friend as she watched me.
"I can feel that, too, but that's not it. It's something else." I swallowed hard as my body rebelled at her intrusive gaze. Damon's arm tightened around me.
"Okay, well, we can worry about that later." Caroline practically whined. "Tonight's the full moon, and Tyler's a wreck!" With a deep breath, the witch turned to her friend.
"I'm sorry; um," she thought a moment, "The Mayans used a familiar to create werewolves, so it would make sense that they have a connection. I don't know what the extent is, though. Evelyn never met a werewolf." She said apologetically.
"It feels similar to my link with Damon." I explained; immediately earning a surge of displeasure. "But it's much weaker," I added with a reassuring glance to Damon. "The further away he is, the less I feel." She thought hard on this a moment; her mind prying and testing at my consciousness. I wanted to balk and retaliate, but forced myself to allow her presence, albeit with restrictions.
"There are similarities." She agreed. "But your connection with Tyler is far more feral… I can't tell you anything more with talking to Tyler as well." She finally conceded.
"Then I'll call him. Hold on." Caroline said with vain determination, already hitting buttons on her phone and walking out of the room. Bonnie's eyes continued to burr into me.
"If you stare a little harder, you might, actually, burn a hole straight through her." Damon commented. Her eyes flicked briefly to him before settling back on me. Something familiarly terrifying crept into her aura.
"Damon, I need to talk to Thea." She said with newfound authority.
"No." He replied sweetly; loosely hugging me to his chest. Something felt wrong. On instinct, my mind shot out to him; enveloping his consciousness. In the same breath, a crippling pain shot through me. With a cry of agony, my arms darted around my head and I dropped. Damon instantly caught me against him; shouting my name in deaf ears.
"What the Hell did you do?" He roared over his shoulder as he carefully guided me down. I stole a desperate gasp of air and my body trembled; fingers clawing desperately at my skull. "Thea! Thea, can you hear me?" I tried to answer him; tried to at least open my eyes, but my body wouldn't listen.
"She shouldn't have been able to do that." Bonnie's horrified whisper barely reached my ears.
"What happened?" Caroline asked, racing into the room.
"Keep the staff out of here!" Damon ordered. I didn't see him tear into his wrist; didn't feel his desperation. When the sweet fluid filled my mouth, my body baulked; my diaphragm instantly convulsing in an attempt to clear my airway. Damon's hand firmly gripped the back of my head.
"Come on, Thea; you need to drink." He urged quietly. It wasn't his words that allowed me to force the sweet blood down my throat; it was his will. Every fiber of his being was compelling me to drink. I couldn't deny it. Within seconds, the pain began to recede. Breathing hard, my fingers clenched his shirt and I forced my eyes open.
"Easy," he murmured, "I've got you."
"Damn it, Bonnie; she's not a vampire." He spat, glaring at the witch.
"I know that!" She rebuked. "It wasn't aimed at her. She shouldn't have been able to do that." I slowly regained control of my still quaking body and tried to sit up.
"Hey, hey; don't try moving too fast." Damon whispered; carefully holding me against him. "You just had an aneurysm." The venom in his words was cast solely at Bonnie.
"It's too late, now." She barely breathed. "I can't," I just managed to meet her horrified eyes. "I can't break the link." In an instant, Damon was on his feet; overflowing with dark fury; arms nearly crushing me to his chest.
"What did you just say?" He asked coldly. I could feel the wrath building within him.
"Damon, wait." I could barely get the words out. Rage; he wanted to punish her. He wanted to hurt her. She meant well. Even in my mind, the words were jumbled. He understood me, but it did nothing to quell his growing anger. Damon, listen. It was hard to think. She wasn't… It was my choice.
You wanted to severe the link? My heart stuttered at the betrayal that surged through him.
No… no. That's not it. It was a strain to merely open my eyes. That's not... Panting, I struggled to find the blue I so cherished. Unable to form tangible thoughts, I tried to let him feel what I couldn't say: that I loved him. Completely and utterly, I loved him. Though he seemed to settle some, the confusion was still there; the hurt. I would explain everything. Tomorrow. I would tell him everything in the morning; too tired now.
With a dissatisfied exhale, his embrace tightened. It's alright; just sleep. He murmured. With a sigh, I went limp against him.
Wrong. Something felt wrong. He hadn't slept because of it; merely held me through the night as his mind fought to understand. I forced the weariness aside, ignored the relentless ache in my head, and opened my eyes. He was so lost in his thoughts, that he didn't notice me wake.
"Damon." I called. Instantly, his attention darted to me; halfheartedly suppressing the discontent storming through him.
"'bout time," he joked, "I was starting to wonder if you'd ever wake up." I puffed out my lips and glared at him. With a chuckle, he pressed his lips to my hairline and sighed. My scalp prickled in ecstasy as his warm breath swept across the sensitive skin. For a while, he was silent; letting the unspoken question scream silently around us.
"You want to protect me." I whispered. Uncertain, he pulled back and looked at me.
"Of course." He replied; almost insulted.
"Would you do anything you could to keep me safe?" I asked with a small frown. His brows furrowed as he tried to follow my train of thought.
"Yes." He promised. I struggled to form the words I had fought with for so long.
"What if the only way to do that would to hurt me in the end? What if the only way you could be certain that you could protect me, might kill us both?"
"What?" He scoffed. "What are talking about?"
"If there was a way for you to be strong enough to never let anything hurt me again, would you take it?" I pressed, "If you knew that it could drive you mad and risk countless others, would you take it?" He said nothing; utterly lost in confusion. My eyes burned as I struggled over the ball caught in my throat. "That's what I am, Damon!" I nearly sobbed; barely able to breathe the words. "That's what it would take! Vampires will always seek me out; they'll always hunt me because of what I could be to them; the power they could gain." His gaze hardened as he watched me, but he gave no reply; offered no thoughts.
"How is it fair for me to put that on you?" I choked. "Damon, if you knew everything; if you knew what I could be to you… it could drive you mad." My body trembled. Even as I told him the truth, that I would be the death of him, still, I clung to him. "And I…" I couldn't say it. "I" I couldn't give voice to the eminent future.
"Stop." With unfaltering eyes, he looked at me; hand firmly holding my cheek. There was no reservation tainting his mind; not the slightest uncertainty. "I will protect you, Thea." He said sternly. "Whatever you're afraid of, we can deal with it." I wanted so desperately to believe him, but Bonnie's warning bled through my mind. "Listen to me." He nearly begged. "I won't let you go." He took a deep breath. "And I won't lose myself, either." Hope. To knew the absolute belief with which he spoke; the complete lack of doubt; I couldn't help but hope.
"Promise me." I pleaded. "Promise me we'll be okay." His gaze never wavered as he met my eyes; letting the infinite breadth of his certainty wash over me.
"I promise." He whispered. And he kissed me. With the same sureness that gave strength to his words, he kissed me. When his lips finally left mine, my own reservations faded to nothing. "Now," he breathed, "talk to me." With a final sigh, I released the last shreds of fear. And I told him everything. I told him what happened to Evelyn and Lukas. I told him about the Mayan's fate and the creation of the curse. I told him about Bonnie's warning; about the potential of our bond and the possible consequences. I told him how terrified I was that I would lose him to that temptation. And, when I had said all I had to say, he merely smirked. I frowned in confusion.
"That's it?" He asked, almost mockingly. "That's what all this was about?" When I didn't reply, he scoffed and rolled onto his back, effortlessly pulling me with him, before giving me a skeptical look. "All this time, you've just been worry that I'd wind up like a power-hungry psychopath that was mentally damaged before he became a vampire?" He paused a moment before adding, "Really?" My cheeks burned scarlet.
"Bonnie sounded sure that it would drive you mad; that it would be too much." I warned. He cocked an eyebrow at me.
"Bonnie," he said her name as though making fun of a religious organization, "has seen me at some pretty… dark times." He admitted, "But she has no clue what I'm capable of." He added haughtily.
"But what if it was too much?" I pressed. "If it came down to it, you can't tell me you wouldn't use the link." That you wouldn't use me. The thought crossed my mind before I'd even acknowledged its existence. The realization of this new fear shocked both of us. But he didn't deny it. With each beat of my heart, my anxiety grew, but he didn't deny it. "Damon." I called; begging him to prove me wrong. His eyes flicked to the setting sun beyond window for several breaths.
"I won't make you regret trusting me." He said carefully. Aghast, I slid off of him. His arms tightened briefly around me, but he didn't stop me.
"And where does it stop?" I asked. "You use the link, me, to save my life. And then it's for a better life. And then it's just because you can." Again, his eyes hardened, but, still, he didn't deny it. Heart hammering in my chest, I backed away from the bed; trying to piece together the ramifications of this revelation. "Even with the best intentions, just how far would you go?" I asked; terrified of the answer.
"As far as I have to." He answered truthfully; bluntly; looking me straight in the eye.
"What if you had to hurt people?" I barely whispered. He didn't reply. He didn't need to; I knew. "Then what, exactly, would make you so different from Lukas?" I hated the accusation in my unsteady words; the way my eyes glared; the uncertainty rekindling within me. He wet his lips and his teeth ground together. "And it would be worse," I breathed, "because you aren't mad."
"No," The tremble in his voice caught me off guard, "but I am a monster." He got off the bed and started toward me. "I have killed hundreds; maybe thousands. How can you forgive me for what I've done, but condemn me for what I might do?" His jaw shook with how desperately he tried to sound angry; with the effort to morph fear and guilt into rage. "Do you think I need a familiar to kill? To massacre?" The floor seemed to crumble beneath me. Had my back not struck the wall, I would have fallen. "It doesn't go away. It doesn't get better. I want to kill. I enjoy it. I like the feeling of holding someone's life my hand; of taking it away from them." I wanted to be shocked; to feel disgusted and revolted. But it would have been a lie. I'd always known that some part of him craved his old life; that he always would. And who wouldn't? To be free of consequences and live a life of perfect gluttony. Something that strong he couldn't push down far enough for me not to feel. His hands gripped my arms and his eyes burred into mine.
"But I don't want to miss it." He was barely able to force the words over the ball in his throat. "You give me a reason not to. You make me want to be better." He waited a moment to let the breadth of this wash over me. "Thea, I don't know what I'm going to do in the future. But you make me want to be better.
Stunned. Tears stung my eyes. I believed him. Absolutely, I believed him… but was it enough? My heart seemed to split open and decay within me. Was it enough? And the far more important question: if it wasn't… would I be able to fix it? Would I be able to run a stake through that heart I so treasured? Would I be able to watch the darkness steal over his skin? The betrayal enter his eyes?
"If it comes to it." Damon suddenly replied. I gasped at the desperation in his red rimmed eyes; at the tears marring his cheeks. "If it's between that and you leaving, then you go right ahead and you stake me," His voice broke. "Because if you leave, if you give up on me now… I might as well be dead." Nothing else existed in that moment. I forgot the raging beating of my heart; the horrors ever awaiting just beyond the corner. There was only Damon. Not even the once imminent consequences held meaning. He could have said nothing at all and I would have known; yet, to hear them; to hear him birth to each syllable with those trembling lips, nothing else mattered.
I froze. Just like that, the hopelessness was gone. I was suddenly, inexplicitly certain of one simple thing: Damon would never fall prey to the temptation that consumed Lucas. He wouldn't lose himself because he knew it would destroy me. And, in that moment, I knew he would die before letting anything hurt me, least of all himself.
My hands, trembling though they were, reached for him; fingers only just caressing his icy skin. Slowly, carefully, I pulled him against me, almost afraid to move too quickly; to find out this wasn't real; that some horrid truth I'd overlooked might reveal itself and destroy everything. Damon. My Damon. He hesitated briefly before returning my embrace; timid at first, but soon he was crushing me against his chest.
I didn't tell him I loved him. I wouldn't taint this feeling with such a limited notion. He knew. Too relieved to breath, to smile, I merely looked at him. And he kissed me. I will protect you. I couldn't tell who the thought originated from, but realized it didn't matter. The mutual, unspoken promise echoed around us. I would do anything to protect him; and he would do anything to protect me. Utterly void of fear, of the trepidation which had once cursed any thoughts of our future, I simply allowed myself to enjoy the pleasure of his embrace.