Marry Mione

By the Emperor's Sister

My odd inspired response to WIKTT's 'The Marriage Law' Contest.

Part 4:

Hermione looked herself over in the large oval mirror. It was the evening of her engagement ball, and she confessed to feeling a little off kilter. Her dress robes were lovely, of course, but they were designed to fit the Malfoy's specifications. This meant that they accentuated her pregnancy instead of minimizing it. The only thing she thought the outfit was missing was a giant sparkling arrow on top of her head, pointing directly at her womb.

'They probably thought it was too tacky' she snorted.

Having stalled long enough, Hermione decided to leave her boudoir and sashayed into the ballroom.

She felt very cold.

Not that the temperature in the room was chilly mind you. The Malfoys had no reason to skimp on their heating bills after all. No the problem was that the room was filled up to bursting with known Death Eaters, and their families.

'Oh I hope that wasn't You-Know-Who over there by the hors-d'oeurvres.' She gulped and forcibly pushed her feet forwards.

Hermione found that mingling among a crowd of mass murderers wasn't as hard as she'd thought. Disturbing as all hell, Yes! But difficult? No. It probably helped that everyone addressed her stomach region instead of her face. Being treated as the walking heir's incubation chamber suited her much better than being regarded as the mudblood lover of the One-They-Must-All-Kill. As the former they were just murmuring niceties, but as the latter they would've been torturing her, then killing her and chopping her up into little potions ingredients.

Speaking of potions, her new fiancé just came in.

"Good evening … er?" Hermione paused unsure how to address her former potions professor and soon to be hubby.

"Just call me Sevey, darling." He smiled down at her, whilst grasping her hand and raising it to place a searing kiss upon her palm.

"Eh, what?" Hermione babbled as her brain struggled to digest the most unthinkably twilight zone-ish of events. 'Surely I heard him wrong. Or I'm insane. Or… or… I don't know!'

"I was only jesting dearest." He smirked, "Try to loosen up some would you? Stress is harmful for you and for the baby. And either Severus or Snape is fine."

"Oh! Right, sorry." She smiled a little, puzzled. "Did you just call me 'dearest'?"

"I believe I did refer to you with that particular term of endearment."

"A simple yes would have sufficed. Now why did you? And why are you acting in a manner contrary to what I am accustomed to?"

"We are soon to be wed, my dear. Should we not be on a more familiar if not intimate level of address with one another?"

Hermione raised one doubt-filled eyebrow.

"Alright, the truth is that I am also not quite comfortable with calling you by your birth name just yet. Another reason would be that calling you by such titles makes this all seem less seedy and more presentable to the public."

"That I'd buy, Sev-erus." For the first time that evening, she let out a real smile. "And my other question?"

"Allow me to say that though I act one way with one group of people, does not necessarily mean that I am a surly and spiteful bastard with all of my acquaintances." Severus answered. "Have you had a rough time here in the Manor?"

"Well, I can't say I have. The Malfoys have taken good care of me, truth be said, and I usually have something to do. It is just that… I have too much time to… think." She confessed, "Do you understand?"

"I can well imagine, my dear." Severus nodded, sympathetically.

A softy-complaining rumble broke their silence. "I take it you haven't yet partaken to the buffet?"

"Ah that would be a no, Sever-us." Hermione laughed sheepishly, self-consciously rubbing her prominent stomach.

"Shall I escort you then?" Severus asked, offering her his arm.

"Um, yes thank you but, is that … you know? Him?" She asked peering shyly over his shoulder.

Tilting his head back, Severus Snape spotted the person she was concerned about.

"Ah, yes. It is, I am afraid so." He winced as he watched as the Dark Lord dropped one prawn after another into his wide-open mouth. Hermione shuddered, though Severus was at a loss to say whether this was due to the way the disgusting overlord ate or from his mere muggle-murdering presence.

"Well, I'm not feeling too keen on seafood right now, so I guess its safe." Hermione decided, as they headed towards the father end of the table. "I won't have to be introduced to him, will I?" she blurted out rather suddenly.

"Relax. One does not get 'introduced' to Lord Voldemort." Severus explained, somewhat calming her fears. "Usually he just... starts talking."

Hermione opened her mouth in order to ask her fiancé to explain further when he let out a curse.

"Bollocks, I guess you'll have to find out for yourself then." He groaned as his Dark Master approached them, a slimy grin pasted across his leathery face.

Hermione was feeling at a loss. She didn't want to meet the Dark Lord who caused so much misery in the wizarding world, and wished to destroy her first husband and love. A torturer of muggles like her dear dentist parents, whom she hadn't been able to visit for so very, very long. Not to mention her familiar and oh so cuddly cat, Crookshanks. She missed her kitty terribly and hoped that her beloved was taking proper care of him. Heaven only knows what a foul creature of the likes of Voldemort would do to poor innocent little magical felines. She just, just couldn't meet Him face to face!

He had barely even begun to speak in his raspy snakelike voice, about something she never caught, when she burst.

"WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAA!!!"

Into tears.

Now Lord Voldemort was used to several reactions from Muggles and Muggle-borns whose path he had crossed. Usually after they had been captured, or during a raid, or what have you. There were screams, and pleadings for mercy. There were even bargains and yes a few tears of fright and of pain. But never in his entire career as an evil over-fiend had he ever encountered the bawling of a young witch at a fancy dinner party, just for informing her that the fish was excellent.

Poor Lord Voldemort. Even offering her his hanky didn't help, as it made her cry even more. He almost wished He could cry, but his snake replicated red eyes were incapable of such an act.

Severus Snape took pity upon his nefarious boss, who had a very un-evil lord look on his basilisk like features. "Ah, my intended is with child my Lord. Overly emotional, and uncontrollably so. I would not take it personally."

Those words made the Dark Lord feel much better. With an even more out of place smile of happiness on his scaly visage, he marched off to check on the band.

Seeing that how the Dark Lord had gone, Severus turned to comforting his bride to be. "My dear? Er… Hermione? Are you well? Is there anything I can do for you?"

Hermione sniffed and blinked miserably up at her ex-professor. "I… I need a hug!"

Severus chuckled lightly and gave into her plea. It was just as Lucius had complained about after all. The girl was starved for affection, and all he had to do was to remember that. Yes, he was fairly sure that taking care of, not to mention eventually seducing, his pregnant Lolita would be a rather easy task indeed.

It was a rather a large pity, after all, that when the two finally tied the wizarding knot, Hermione was well into her third trimester.