Marry Mione

By the Emperor's Sister

My odd inspired response to WIKTT's 'The Marriage Law' Contest.

Part 5:

Sometimes the old ways weren't the best ways after all, Severus Snape decided.

Sure the dowry was most desirable, the parties at the Malfoy Manor were endurable, and he had plenty of moments alone with his bride-to-be. Moments that he used to gain her favor by lavishing upon her all the attention and care the Malfoys had neglected to give her since the beginning of her pregnancy. The problem was that in the high standing circles where families such as the Malfoys and the Snapes were members of, such engagement periods lasted a bloody long time. So when the time came for them to perform their long awaited nuptials, Hermione was reduced to performing a duck-like waddle down the aisle instead gliding with an on-edge yet sensual movement, like she had done at their engagement ball, which had not failed to make his "potions assistant' stand up and take notice.

'Were she wearing my robes right now, I'd be hard pressed not to take her for a penguin.' Severus thought as he watched his bride slowly walk awkwardly towards his side.

The ceremony at least went rather quickly. The fertility spells and speeches were pointless, and the Malfoys, sticklers for traditions as they were, did not want to risk anything that could possibly harm their unborn heir.

So before Snape knew it, he was married.

'Hoo-Bloody-Ray.' He thought sourly, as he and his wife acknowledged their guests' well wishes.

Now to be fair, Severus Snape was pleased with his new married status, mostly because his wife was a long-standing crush of his. He was also okay with being even closer to the Malfoys, what with his new bride carrying the spawn of his favorite ex-student. He was just put out, for any amorous activities that could have taken place on the honeymoon were now canceled. Not that Hermione would have minded a little hanky panky. Raging sexual hormones constantly tormented her, albeit concern for her baby may have been a tad off putting.

No, the lovemaking was put on hold due to Severus Snape not being all that attracted to… well… to put it bluntly… he wasn't at all partial to fat chicks. Try as he might in the past few weeks, he just couldn't get a stiffy near his expecting bride, much to his dismay.

'Why is it that every time I get what I want, I don't want it any more?' Severus mused darkly, 'I must be cursed.'

"Uhm Severus? Are you alright?"

Hermione's curious filled voice brought him back. "Yes, yes quite alright my dear."

"Oh good!" she smiled with relief. "Then let's sit. I'm desperate to get off my feet."

Nodding in acquiescence he gave her his arm and escorted her to the table that had been prepared for them. The view they had from their seats was rather interesting.

The reception hall was delicately decorated in pale greens and whites, but their ceremonial beauty went mostly un-noticed. Apparently the seating arrangements had been written up in order to separate everyone into groups of friends, family, and associates, ranking according to their importance. It ended up more along the lines of the Light on the right, the Dark on the left, and the media stuck smack dab in the middle. Just who would cross the line of flash bulbs and clicking cameras first, only time would tell.

"I do hope Albus doesn't do something stupid." Severus sighed, watching as each side of the room glowered at the other.

"Or embarrassing." Hermione agreed. "Hmmm? I see that neither Harry nor my friends from school are here. Except for Luna, but she's sitting with her father over there. They're probably writing another bizarre article for their insane magazine."

"That is because I have no particular liking for your friends." Severus informed her, "So naturally they did not make it to the guest list."

Hermione looked a little saddened by that.

"I had to invite Albus, and the staff; the bloody were-wolf, and some ministry phoenixes. Oh and Percy Weasley too, because I was ordered to. The Order was adamant about seeing you with their own eyes, and I'll be damned if I let them traipse merrily through my home." He glowered, "Lord Voldemort is also here, albeit under heavy glamour charms, together with that prat Pettigrew. Personally the only guests present that I can honestly say I don't dislike are your In-Laws."

Hermione stifled a sniffle. She did not cry at her other wedding; she would not at this one. Just because she had been hoping to see some friendly faces and was not given the opportunity to do so was no reason to begin blubbering like a depressed sea mammal. Apparently her new husband noticed.

"Don't think about this accursed affair my sweet." He coddled, hoping to prevent a watery scene. "Besides, you do have my wedding gift to look forward to."

Originally he had planned a romantic and raunchy evening in his family's summer home on the coast of Spain. But due to his disinterested libido, he had opted for something more comforting for his wife, and far cheaper.

"And that is?"

"Why, we're going to visit your relatives on our honeymoon trip." he supplied, "I understand that you have had no contact with your muggle family in… ergh."

Severus chocked on his words as his ecstatic wife nearly strangled him in a gleeful hug.

"Oh you are the most darling man in all the world! You know that don't you! Oh of course you do! Eeee! I'll get to see Mommy and Daddy again! Thank you thank you thank you so much!" she squealed in his ear. "I love it! I'm so happy!" She finally released him after gracing him with an awkward kiss somewhere between his mouth and his nose.

His "potion's assistant" perked up for once.

Severus cursed as he resigned himself to a celibate week at the Granger's residence. His muggle in-laws would doubtfully allow him very much time alone with their estranged daughter.

'Figures it would work now when it'll do me no good.'

The curse had struck again.