June 3, 2178. Lauren sat quietly, her eyes downcast. Alliance officials had essentially smuggled her back to Earth since the outcry was so huge after the Torfan incident. She replayed those moments over and over in her head, trying to come up with a good defense. She knew she was guaranteed to be court-martialed and she was just waiting for that order to come down. She wondered why it hadn't yet.
Her room was more or less a house arrest so she couldn't go anywhere or contact anyone. A therapist had been assigned to her, and the same people delivered her meals, so she wasn't completely isolated. She hadn't heard from anyone she actually knew since that day...before everything happened.
Maybe now she understood why Kaidan had been so inconsolable after killing Vyrnnus. Lauren had killed batarians and vorcha...even a few krogan before, but they had been faceless. No soul behind the flesh. On Torfan, it had been different. They talked to her, and not just the normal battlefield mocking that came on a regular basis. That one officer...he had tried to surrender. Suddenly, more weight lay on her own already beaten-down soul. He had a family...probably people who loved him. A mother, a father...just like me.
She let out a dejected sigh and slumped lower on the sparse bunk that was in the room. Suddenly, the door slid open and a large man stood in the doorway. Anderson. His expression showed disappointment.
Lauren stood and saluted. Anderson didn't return the action. Instead, he just sat down in the only chair in the room. He pinched his nose and closed his eyes. "Shepard..."
She calmly responded as she sat back down on the bed. "I'm sorry, sir. I lost control. It was just me and them...and I couldn't let them live, sir. Not after what they took from me. But know this, sir, it will never happen again."
"What? What did they take?" Anderson let out a big sigh. "Shepard, I had such faith in you."
"Two years ago, I was on Elysium during the Blitz. We were supposed to be there for shore leave and I was to meet my...well, he was supposed to become my fiance. I already had the ring." Lauren touched the ring that remained on her left hand. "He was there already, unarmed...and they shot him, point blank. Never had a chance. I don't know what happened on Torfan, sir...I just remembered that and him and my rage boiled over. It manifested itself in my biotics. I've never done anything like that before. A few of them survived, at first, but I had to finish them off."
Putting his hands on his knees, he looked Lauren directly in the eyes. "I'm not saying I don't understand why you did it. What I am saying is I've seen others cross that line, and you don't want to go down that direction, Shepard. I can see it in your eyes that you aren't the monster the batarians think you are. You aren't beyond redemption."
"Yes, sir," Lauren said, looking down.
"Admiral Hackett agreed, after a lot of persuasion on my part, to let you off with a reprimand and order you to continue therapy, but you will remain on active duty...groundside though, in Vancouver, for now."
Lauren closed her eyes and reopened them slowly. She knew she deserved worse, so part of her was grateful they weren't drumming her out of the service. "Where will I be, sir?"
"You are going to be at Alliance research and development. Our knowledge of biotics is still rudimentary, especially with armor and weapons. You are going to help them."
x-X-x
June 8, 2178. Kaidan awoke again, shrieking and damp with sweat. His mother came rushing in. "Are you ok, dear?"
"Yeah, Mom...just a nightmare. I was on Akuze again." He noticed his eyes were watery and wiped it away before any tears fell, thankful for the dark.
"I'm so sorry, Kaidan. Life just hasn't been fair to you." Even though he was nearly double the weight of his petite mother, she pulled him into her arms and stroked his hair. For a moment, as childish as it was, Kaidan let her and tried to let his fears drift away like they had when he was a child.
She let go and stood up. "I know it is hard on you to be here and not out somewhere in the galaxy like you had been, but I'm so glad you are home. Having you here since they put you at Alliance R&D has been the best thing I could have asked for."
"I'm more happy about not being out there than you realize, Mom."
His mom started talking without thinking. "Maybe you'll find a nice girl...settle down. Lots of men your age are getting married."
Kaidan tipped his head to the side. "Mom, I'm not anywhere near that...besides I haven't even gone on a date in...in a few years." Kaidan suddenly felt pathetic.
"Well, I'm not trying to rush you...I'm sorry, I'm being very inconsiderate." Ivy Alenko smiled sweetly up at her son.
"You're fine, Mom. Maybe someday. Now go back to bed."
The next morning, Kaidan headed out to catch the transport to work. He climbed aboard at the stop and started nursing the coffee he was holding as he looked for a seat.
"Kaidan?" A female voice sounded. He looked in that direction. He saw a girl in the same Alliance jacket as his, but hers had a distinctive N7 insignia on the right breast. Her hair was a bright red, but the face and the gray blue eyes were familiar.
"Lauren."