I'm not dead yet! In all guilt honesty, I've had this chapter finished for a while... sorry. It's the rest of it I'm struggling with! I've rewritten the... chapter... after the next, which may also kind of already be pretty much written... a thousand times! No lie, guys, this story has been fighting me tooth and nail! Anyway, I'm in a typing mood, so I may get the next chapter up tonight as well, but it, unfortunately, may be another month before I finally finish it - meaning there's only 2-3 chapters to go after this. Anyways, enjoy the fluff!
Downward Spiral
"Caroline pointed out that, if you've never been to the mall, you've never had a proper girls' night." Elena started as she drove away from the manor. Damon chuckled at the thought.
"We are going to fix that." Bonnie gleamed.
"I'm almost afraid to ask… what, exactly, is included in a girls' night?"
"Frivolous giggling, scandalous secrets, and extravagant attire." Bonnie replied with exaggerated gestures that left Elena and I laughing. For most the short drive to Elena's house, I sat quietly in the back, only offering an occasional comment to their refreshingly light-hearted conversation.
Caroline had been waiting anxiously for out arrival and, the instant the car rolled to stop, bounded out to meet us. As Bonnie promised, there seemed to be more laughter than actual words as they piped about rumors and boys and future plans. Though I could offer little to the conversation of social status, I found myself laughing alongside them just the same.
"What about you, Thea?" The blond asked after Elena had commented about prospect colleges. I couldn't help but chuckle.
"Well, since I don't exist as far as all officials are concerned, school is a little out of the question."
"Aside from that, then; there's more to life then school." I barely hid the frown as a morbid thought of my own mortality sprang to mind. Finally, I shrugged.
"Just Damon, I guess." I replied, surprised by the sincere happiness in my voice.
"Aww…" They cooed mockingly. I rolled my eyes at them. It was trued though. Damon was the most important part of my life. Without him, everything would just be… empty. Even from miles away, I could feel the smile on his lips.
So dramatic. He joked, affection flooding through his thoughts. My cheeks burned red.
"He just said something, didn't he?" Caroline asked. I snatched a pillow from Elena's bed and hid my face in it, earning a chorus of laughter.
The next hour consisted of the three girls dolling themselves, and me, up. The mascara they painted on my lashes made my eyelids feel unnaturally heavy, and it was a constant battle to keep my hand from wiping off the fine layers of dust and gel they spindled and smeared over my face.
"Normal people do this every day?" I asked in shock.
"Just girls." Bonnie giggled.
"Why?" Without replying, they held a mirror before me. I didn't recognize the women staring back at me.
"Oh my god…" I breathed, stunned at the transformation. The shadow around my eyes made them look like dark sapphires; my skin as porcelain.
"That's why." Caroline stated confidently.
"Alright, let's get dressed! We're going to be late." Elena chimed. She and Bonnie had scoured Damon's room for the deep blue gown and silk shawl. Bonnie adorned an elegant emerald dress, Caroline's was a revealing ruby slip, and Elena wore a black-laced, cream gown. It felt like we were headed for a fashion show, and I couldn't help by feel silly at being so overdressed, but, to Damon's growing humor, I acknowledged that it was too late to back out.
The sun was just starting to fall when we reached the restaurant. It seemed the entire town had gathered.
"Word spreads fast." Elena dismissed. I followed her out of the vehicle and toward the bar, legs feeling impossibly long with the high heels strapped to my feet. My wings locked firmly against my back, and, for the millionth time, I shuffled the wrap to ensure they were fully covered. Swallowing hard, I entered behind the girls. And I froze, eyes instantly finding Damon's. The word he'd been speaking, the entire conversation, suddenly fled his mind. The hunger in his eyes made my cheeks burn red, and I couldn't help but mirror his desire.
The almost elegant fit of the sharp suit over his masculine form set my body on fire. How intimately I knew the strength of the muscles teasingly concealed beneath the dark fabric. A smug smirk toyed with his lips as he excused himself and started towards me. Elena, Bonnie, and Caroline dispersed among the crowd, already acknowledging the futility in waiting for me to rejoin them.
"Damon." I murmured. He held his hand out to me. Instantly, I offered mine in response.
"You looked beautiful." The sincerity of the whisper left me blushing profusely as he pressed his lips to my hand.
"Funny how, when we dress up in fancy clothes, our first instinct is to rip each other out of them." I joked. He laughed softly.
"It's too early for mushy stuff!" Caroline chimed, suddenly appearing behind me. "And you are both far too sober!" With a sly wink, she banded us tiny cups of clear liquid.
"Hold your breath." Damon advised with a smirk before shooting the glass. Mirroring his movements, a shiver immediately darted from my lips to my shoulders as the fire burned delightfully through me. Caroline then downed her own drink and gave a loud "Wooo!"" It took several seconds before I realized I was giggling.
"It starts," Damon joked. With a wide smile, I kissed him before letting the blonde guide me to the bar. Elena and Bonnie each gave me additional glasses of equally wonderfully vial liquids. I didn't know what I drank, nor did I care. Just as I grabbed what would have been the sixth, Damon's lean form pressed against my back and, before managing to ignore the surge of lust his touch caused, he'd swallowed the contents of the cup.
"Hey!" I scolded, trying to lay ownership to the glass, yet unable to stop laughing long enough to speak.
Without a word, his desire filled me. I moaned my agreement and kissed him deeply. When I pulled back, we were surrounded by people; strangers. Loud music boomed around us, resonating through my entire body. I should have panicked. I should have been terrified at the mass of bodies surrounding us. But, all I could see was Damon; those ice blue eyes. All I could think was how much I loved him; how desperately I yearend for his touch, All I could feel was the rhythm of the music orchestrating the pace of my heart. With my mind swimming, I disregarded what should have been fear, I forgot the imminent danger, and with Damon's body pressed against mine, I danced.
The beat of the music dominated my limbs and I merely felt my hips roll, my arms sway, and my hands greedily trail along Damon's form. His movements set fire to my body, and I wanted nothing more than to rid us of the hindering layers of cloths separating us. He chuckled darkly and pulled me possessively against him. Our bodies continued to dance and grind even as he kissed me. I could feel his desire peak as my hip trialed against him and his eyes darkened. I purposefully cut my tongue on his suddenly sharp canines and he froze. For just a moment, he tried to pull back, to resist that demand, but, as the drops of crimson smeared his tongue, logic failed.
His lips pressed hungrily down my jaw as he treasured the scent of desire emanating from me. The world seemed to undulate around me, with me, swaying and dancing through my body as the music raged. And his fangs penetrated the thin flesh of my neck. I moaned into his ear and let my hands roam up his back, the neat layering of his suit now in beautiful disarray. He tensed as my nails trailed down his shoulders, clinging to him as my body succumbed to the pleasure of his touch.
With my blood still coating his lips, he kissed me. My senses whirled from his sweet taste. My fingers tangled in his hair, pulling him harder against me.
Something skimmed against my arms. Initially, I disregarded it, but the touch returned. Distracted, I glanced over to see Caroline biting her lips to quiet her laughter. Damon glared at the blonde, but she ignored him and leaned towards me dancing absently to the beat.
"Careful, you're about to start loosing clothing in the middle of the dance floor." Frowning, I looked around and logic came racing back to my still impossibly fuzzy mind. With a gasp, I straightened up and checked to make sure the wrap still concealed my wings.
"I wouldn't have let them show." Damon assured me, almost insulted at my fear. Breathing hard, I looked back at him, but the world started to tilt and I nearly fell. Damon instantly pulled me against his chest, laughing softly. I couldn't help by laugh with him as I struggled to regain my balance; the brief surge of fear already forgotten.
"Alcohol's fun like that." Damon joked.
"Speaking of," Caroline sang, placing another glass in my hand. Damon started to object, but, with a devious grin, I emptied the contents. He sighed and tightened his hold as my legs again wavered. Giggling, Caroline grabbed my hand and pulled me back to the bar.
"Tyler!" I exclaimed happily at seeing the werewolf leaning back on a stool. He smirked and waved, but I immediately swung my arms around his neck. He started and froze, awkwardly returning the gesture with a brief pat on my shoulder. He hesitated though, as he felt my wing meet his touch instead of flesh.
"Thanks you sooo much!" I drawled, releasing him briefly before hugging him again. A glint caught my eyes and I snatched the shot glass from Caroline's offering hand. "To Tyler!" I shouted, immediately earning blanket shouts throughout the bar. I started to drink, but Damon grabbed it and drained it before I'd realized I wasn't holding it anymore. Jealousy. For several seconds, I stared at him in confusion. His jaw tensed, but his gaze didn't waver.
"Damon." I murmured, belatedly understanding the cause of his irritation; and I smiled. "There's only you." I told him. "Only you now. Only you tomorrow. And the next day, and the next day, and the next until there is no tomorrow." My hand found his.
"I love you." I whispered, words untouched by the alcohol-induced slur. He gave a small smile and kissed me. I let my eyes close as I treasured the touch of his lips.
Something suddenly crashed loudly just a few meters away. With a flare of adrenaline, I shied violently, but Damon's arms locked around me just in time to pin my wings to m back. That restraint sent me into a panic.
"Easy." He murmured, trying to draw my attention to a laughing girl shakily getting back to her feet; an overturned stool not two feet from her. Innocent. No danger. Tyler and Caroline abandoned their defensive positions. But the damage was done. My heart continued to race and I couldn't stop counting the sheer number of people. The darkness of the building. The knowledge that they were coming again; that they would find me.
Suddenly cool air hit my face. I hadn't noticed Damon pull my hyperventilating body from the building until the crowd was gone the music a distant booming. His hand caressed my cheek as he struggled to get my attention.
"Athena. Come on, Thea, look at me." I tried, but wasn't able to hold on to a single thought for more than a few seconds. Too blurry.
With a sigh, he embraced me, his warm breath flowing over my scalp. A thousand glimpses, images, fears, bombarded my mind; too hazy to separate; too powerful to ignore. So I clung to him and trembled. Used. Tainted. I could only see and feel the disgust and anger and terror from the Shadow Men; the Alpha. My mind raced through the grotesque scars that would forever mar my skin, the fear I would forever feel from a harsh word or sudden movement. They robbed me of my strength and beauty and joy. They destroyed me and left only a shadow behind.
Grinding m teeth, I fought back the tears, vainly trying, failing, to suppress such thoughts before Damon heard. But he knew. Even without my mind itemizing the cause for my insecurity, my disgust, he knew. My cheeks burned red and I swallowed hard, finally forcing myself under control.
"You're wrong." Damon commented in that almost mocking scoff, looking at me with that nearly disappointed frown. "You are strong. You're strong in stupid ways sometimes, but you're one of the strongest people I know. Otherwise you wouldn't have sacrificed yourself for Elena. Otherwise we wouldn't be here tonight." The fear and doubt suddenly vanished as he spoke. "Something really bad happened to you." He stated as though it were so obvious he shouldn't have needed to say it, "so, of course you're going to be in a bad place for a while. No one's going to hold that against you." He looked at me with hard, haunted eyes and continued. "It's okay to get angry; to be afraid." After a moment's pause, he added, "I do." I frowned, focused solely on him. "I'm angry." Heart-wrenching guilt surged through him. "I hate what happened to you. I hate that I couldn't stop it." His jaw tightened and he hesitated before admitting, "And I'm terrified I won't be able to protect you next time."
"Damon," I started, but he touched a finger to my lips to silence me.
"I have doubts. I doubt myself more often now than ever. But I've never doubted you." He swept the hair from my forehead. "You're strong." He murmured lovingly. "You're beautiful." My cheeks burned. "And you have a cool name." A choked laugh escaped my lips. "Athena Allansry; kind of poetic; proper. But I can think of something a little better: more of a kick." His hand retrieved something from his pocket. "What do you think of," and he lowered himself to one knee; his gaze never leaving mine, "Athena Salvatore?" I couldn't breathe; couldn't tear myself from those perfect ice-blue eyes. "Marry me, Athena."
"How cute." Panic. Please no…