Aurora

Disclaimer: If Twilight was mine, I so wouldn't be sitting in my tiny town home right now.

Summary: Carlisle Cullen arrived in Volterra hoping to learn how to be a doctor and share his ways with others of his kind. In turn, he learns that Vampires aren't the only creatures that go bump in the night.

Author's Note: I hope the last chapter wasn't too gruesome for anyone. I've been slowly leaking in historical accounts (like the Blood Countess) to merge it with what we know of Carlisle's early days. I'm going to try and add some of La Quintala's murders in here (17th c, Chile) as well. From about 1675 ~ 1750 ish, there isn't much record of any serial killings. That isn't to say there aren't any, (one notable exception being the Countess Marie who killed her family for inheritance but I think even that was before this time period), just not a lot of mass killings going on during that time. Since this story takes place during that time, I'm using Anna, who will be a catalyst to creating mass murderers later on and has been in the past, as an excuse. Since Anna was being chased by Caterina, there was no way for her to create another human monster. Wait until the 19th century and the later part of the 20th…boy, does Anna have her fun then!

Chapter 17

Anguish would be the best word at which to describe my current state for no will had I to move from my chambers, though many had called upon me and tried to coax me by means of promises and bribery to release myself from my chambers. Caterina came but once and fell into such deep sobs at my pitiful estate that I was glad she had not come back. I thought on Paulo and could not bring myself to attend Dr. Gagliardo's house for I had given in to my darker thoughts and now blamed myself for his death. I should not have let the boy go for I knew that something was off with the night.

I could not hunt for to even think of to hunt was to think upon the woods; the very same woods in which I met Lettice to whom all was lost forever. Though she had been an immortal child and had committed many crimes, including the death of Paulo, she was still a child. She had been condemned to this unchanging body through no fault of her own and only gave into her instincts and her ways for she were but a child though her years upon the earth were great. To go to the woods would be to remember the small girl in the green silk dress tattered as she ran.

If I did not even let my mind wander there, I would still remember the werewolves and the small silver cross that hung from the first one I did meet's neck followed by the fierce desire for my death in the eyes of the latter two I stumbled upon durnst my hunt. Such imagines could I not but help recall during my hunt since they occurred during such time and I would go near the same places as I had before. Given the werewolves and Aro's previous warning regarding them, along with his wish that I hunt not alone, I couldst not hunt for I wish for none to see me in such estate.

At first, many did try to bring me out but over the past two weeks such visitors were less and less frequent. I had no need for sleep and learned that I could not if I did so try so I did sit and gaze out my small window to the land below, never moving, being most unyielding, for not else could I do. Even if I were able to bring myself past the thoughts of Paulo, of Lettice, of Alywin, and the werewolves, there was still the matter of Anna that had me gravely concerned.

Anna had laughed as she watched one human tear another apart and bathe in blood for she did see it as sport and enjoyed the vileness though that be not a strong enough word for the act she did witness and allow to happen. I could hear the whispers through my door of the others and the story had spread of Claudio and Anna though I knew not what to make of it for much seemed more rumor than fact. From what I had seen with my own eyes, Claudio was a broken man for he looked as if he had lost the will to live and was more animal now that any other creature. He spoke not on our way to the castle and I knew not of what Caterina had said unto him but I did know he had lost an arm and that he had moved to attack us before smelling the human blood.

Such a smell was impossible to ignore, for if I had not been decades old already and abstained from such blood for all my years, then I knew I wouldst not have resisted it's call and the very thought of that sickened me to my core. For the blood had been spilt and the corpse was badly mutilated, allowing the torso to be flayed apart as if the human woman had been gutting a fish and not killing a fellow human. How Caterina resisted, I knew not.

My memories served me as my prison guard for with such images in my head I had no wish to engage the outside world again. Laura, Paulo, Claudio, and even Lettice showed me how cruel the world was and I did not belong amongst such for I couldst not understand it. Why did God allow such to happen? Why had I not acted sooner in at least Paulo's case?

I was brought out of my thought by the opening of my door and the soft sounds of linen and silk against the floor. I knew the smooth gait to belong to Aro and I didst not turn around for I had no wish to speak with him and only wished to be alone with my thoughts.

"You need to stop this Carlisle," Aro chastised me. I looked slightly within his direction though not fully for I did not wish to have this conversation anon. I could see him move closer and I did shudder for I wished to have no contact with any creature in my present state of mind.

"You are hurting Caterina," he said simply making no move to come closer than the five feet he was away from me. The idea that Caterina was hurting due to my current humor had not fallen into my thoughts as of yet and I did feel ashamed for I knew that my sister must be ill at mind and full of pity for my current distress. In such response did I hang my head low for yet have I hurt another when I wished it not.

"Go. At the very least leave your chambers, strange one but do not give into your melancholy," Aro said on to me. I thought on what to say, on how to react for I knew not but I did nod so he might know that I heard his words though I knew not of when I would act upon them.

"At the very least, go to see your sister. She will not leave the chapel as you will not leave your chambers," Aro said sadly. Such news did shock me for did Caterina pray for those that were lost to us or did she pray for something else, such as to ease her own mind? This was the news I needed, for such did spark my curiosity again and I knew I had need to find my sister and speak with her.

"Thank you, Aro," I said, my voice sounding off to my own ears for it being the first time I had spoken in many days. He smiled and laughed at my words and then did whisk around and head towards my chamber door. Before he could fully exit, I called to him. "Aro? How does Claudio?" I asked of him, concerned for the man though I knew him not.

Aro did stop and turn his head so as to look at me, his head shook sadly. "I fear that he has been made ill by that which Anna did to him," he spoke unto me. If he were ill, then might my knowledge be of some assistance? Though I knew only of human illnesses, I might be able to offer a different insight if nothing else into this man's condition.

"May I see him?" I asked quietly for I did wish to help the man if I might.

Aro nodded in response. "Tomorrow, once you have seen Caterina and fed," he stated with an amused look in his eye. "After which, I do hope you will return to the assistance of Dr. Gagliardo," he mentioned as he left my chambers.

Collecting myself for I needed what little strength I had to move and keep my mind focused upon my task for I wished to speak with my sister and ease her mind for I believed her to have taken too much pity upon the miserable creature I was. For me to cause pain to yet another soul – for indeed I had no doubt that Caterina hath one- was most unbearable to me. To this soul though could I make my apologies and mayhap be forgiven for causing any ill will.

I slipped out of my banyan and put on my justacorps instead for I wished to be presentable to such a lady as my sister and not walk through the halls as if all were my home. To make sure I was presentable, I checked myself in the mirror and was aghast at my reflection for I didst hardly recognize myself. Dark purple circles lined my eyes which now had taken on a blackened hue; no gold reflected in them anymore. Aro was correct in that I needed to hunt and badly it did seem, but first I must attend to my trespasses and correct the wrongs I committed against my sister for making her neglecting her so was indeed a sin.

Carefully I made my way to where I first laid eyes upon the wonderful creature who would be a sister to me. I did love her, as any brother might love his sister, and it made me ill to think that she had even a moment's thought in worry over me as Aro's words did suggest. It was clear he did worry over her and that he did think that I might be the cure to whatever did cause her distress, so if such a simple thing as seeing me out of my chambers might heal Caterina, then such a thing shall I do with happiness.

Ignoring the whispers in my wake as I passed by numerous others of my kind, I went into the women's quarters with ease, knowing that Caterina would be near for I could smell the sweet strawberries and cream that was of her. Gently, I pushed upon the chapel doors and saw it much as it had been when last I came here, for there sat Caterina, with a simple veil upon her head and a dress that seemed to be too old and too beneath her station for a lady such as herself. I recognized these as the clothing of mourning.

Closing the doors behind me, Caterina made no motion to indicate she knew of another's presence but continued to silently mouth her prayers, her eyes held shut. As I stepped closer and came about her, I saw the pain etched upon her features and the dark circles beneath her own eyes. Anguish grasped at me again for this must be of my own fault that my sister was thusly consumed so in prayer that she did not take to fed herself and wore such garments that were not fitting of her. Gently, I reached to cover her folded hands with my own and kneel before her to beg her forgiveness.

Before I made such movements, did she suddenly look up at me in surprise and look as if she might attack. Without thought I knelt before her so that I might beg for her mercy and forgiveness. Upon seeing me, her eyes changed from one of defense to that of pure sadness and I felt the most horrid guilt for being responsible for such pain being in her eyes. I opened my mouth to speak only to find my arms filled with my sister in a action so fast I did not see it. I heard her rosary beads click to the ground and her sobs rack through her body. I held her for nothing else could I think of to do but be glad that I was here with her and that she did not turn me out.

"I was so worried, Carlisle!" she whispered prior to pulling back so that she might look upon my face. "Thou art never to do that to me again!" she said so sternly as if a mother might chastise a child who had been lost from her hand. I managed a very small chuckle before Caterina pulled me back into her embrace. "Do not laugh, brother, for I was worried so," she whispered in a tone that I couldst tell she was still crying though no tears could she shed.

"Forgive me, Caterina," I asked of her sincerely. "I meant not to cause thee any pain," I continued, praying in this small chapel silently that God might open her heart so that she would find the ability to forgive my trespass against her.

Again, she pulled back so that she might look into my eyes which I did know were as dark as her own. "Forgive thee?" she asked incredulously, her hands upon my shoulders. I bowed my head so I might beg of her forgiveness more for it tore me to have any ill will betwixt us.

"I meant no harm on to thee through my action and will not forgive myself for ever causing thee any pain, Caterina," I whispered to her. I felt her hands slowly brush my hair back as if you might do so for a small child and then kiss my head. I slowly looked up to her, praying that I was forgiven, and I saw her looking aside, almost as if ashamed and I feared it was of me that she felt this way.

"It is I that must beg thine forgiveness, Carlisle. Not thee of myself," she whispered to me, not meeting my eyes. For what did she need my forgiveness for since no sin had she committed against me? Silently, I grasped her hands so that she might know I felt no ill will towards her even in it's smallest measurement.

"Thou hath done nothing against me, Catty. There be no reason to ask forgiveness when there is no sin to forgive," I said lowly unto her. Her body began to shake again with sobs and I gently moved to collect her back into my arms which she made no motion in which to fight. I held her as she cried, berating myself for daring to cause any woman, much less my sister, this much pain, for truly a villain I must be and I shall strive to make myself better so that this pain shall never again be inflicted upon anyone.

"I should not hath allowed thee to come with me to the woods. I should hath left thee with Stefano and preserved thine innocence in such matters as that of which Anna creates," she whispered so low that a human would not have heard her. My innocence? To this I held back a laugh for of this did I not suspect to be upon her conscious and nor did I want it to be.

"Catty," I said, attempting to allow too much of my amusement into my voice as I grasped her shoulders so I might look upon her. Slowly did she raise her head so as to look upon me and I didst smile at her. "Of this you are most innocent and should not take blame," I told her. An argument was she about to make when I place a finger upon her lips so that she would hold her tongue well. If I be any other man, I might have lost the finger to her more vicious nature but in being her brother did she allow me to continue, of this I knew well.

"As much as I wouldst like to have spent more time with this Stefano so that I might discover more about this brother in law of mine," I teased gently forcing a smile to her face as she did look away in embarrassment, "I would never have wished to have left thee to thine own devices so that thee might be forced to deal with Anna and Claudio upon thy own." Her eyes looked pleadingly into mine as if searching for understanding upon her part of this, for it seemed she still held that it was her fault that I saw what I did that ghastly night.

"I wouldst never have forgiven myself, dear sister, if Claudio had gotten to thee," I whispered, pulling her back into an embrace so that I might know she was safe within my arms. If I hadn't pushed her out of the way, I feared Claudio, in his deranged state – to which I do not hold any blame to him but unto Anna- might have bitten my sister and caused her great pain. Of this thought, could I not bear. But onto my words, didst I hear her laugh lightly as she hid her head in my shoulder much as Bianca has done many times. My heart ached to see the human family that so easily adopted me into their lives again.

"What doth thee find so amusing, sister?" I asked of her, glad to hear of any happy sound from her.

She pulled herself away from me so that she might look upon me while she spoke. "Each of us in worry over the other when little was wrong but our own misgivings," she said with a slight smile upon her lips. I laughed lightly and stood, kissing her head and offering my hand so she might also stand.

"So that nothing is forgiven for nothing need be so on either of our parts, may we both go to hunt anon so I might return to my work?" I asked of her, smiling. At this she did out rightly laugh and smile genuinely unto me.

"Indeed, for I think we both are in need of a long drink," she teased. I laughed at her and yielded my arm for her to take so I might lead her towards the woods. With Caterina by my side, such prospect as going to the forest seemed less of a daunting challenge. She took my arm and looked upon me most seriously.

"We shall take the back way rather than going through town. It will be of less risk," she told me and I nodded for I knew of the back way that lead through the stables and unto the back of the city so that we might walk into the fields prior to running far into the woods. In such a way, we would have less of a chance of coming across a human and causing a horrible death.

Easily did I guide her on to our way out of the chapel when she did stop suddenly. "My rosary!" Caterina cried in her native Italian and scrambled for the beads she had dropped upon the chapel floor earlier. I watched as she kissed them and carefully placed the rosary back into her pocket prior to taking my arm again so that I might lead her out.

She seemed to take no notice in the stares and whispers of our fellow vampires as I guided her towards the back exit and I wished for such an ability. For I did take note of the half heard whispers that echoed upon my ears and knew instantly that many blamed me for Caterina's erratic behavior over the past couple of weeks. I had only gotten snippets of sentences that, pieced together, meant that my dear sister had refused even to obey Caius' direct commands and had gotten into many a fight with him over orders. Aro had tried to keep the peace as shaky as it might have been while Marcus spoke unto Caterina and calmed her. It was Marcus, from what I could gather as we passed, that told Caterina to go pray and so she did and had not been out of the chapel in near a week and a half. Again, my guilt flowed over me and I tightened my hold on my sister's arm so that I might know her to be well now.

Lost in my thoughts was I as we approached the stable yard. I did not think to stop my breathing for what use did vampires have of horses? This was but a place for show that any unsuspecting human might not becoming overly suspicious of our kind. However, I did smell something and after well over three weeks of nothing hunting, the smell was too delicious to ignore. I tore from my sister's arm and gave over to my instincts despite her protests and my own more logical minded protests for in this instance was I more vampire than man.

I sunk my teeth into a neck and happily drained the poor creature dry, spilling not a drop. It was not until after I had fed that I noticed what I had done and shame over came me. Caterina stood at the head of the stable, hands upon her hips, glaring down upon me and I knew upon that moment that never shall I forget this nor will she let me. At my feet was now the body of a very dead poor horse that I had drained completely dry and for this would I be the laughing stock of every vampire in Volterra.

As if my embarrassment could grow no more I heard my sister shriek, "Stultus es! Mihi equem est." From there many other curses issued forth for I had truly committed a grave sin not only in her eyes but my own, I killed her horse to sedate my own thirst. I destroyed something she clearly loved and for this I could do nothing but hang my head and say nothing on to her as she objurgated me most rightly for my actions.

Author's Note: Hehehe, Carlisle slipped up! Okay, so he killed Catty's horse which is something she will so bring up every time they have a fight over the next oh….300 years or so? I've been dying to write that for a couple of weeks now and I'm glad it's finally out of my head and on the computer! Now to get to the next pivotal point will take a bit longer…